by S. C. York
“What the hell happened, Vanessa?” He roars into the phone.
“You need to hear it from Blake. I’ve got to go. My aunt’s here. She’s taking us back to her house.”
“Be safe and get some sleep. Text me if you’re still up later. And, Vanessa, I love you.”
“Did you just say that?”
“Yes. I did.”
“I love you, too.”
Disconnecting the call, I look over at Eva staring at me with a mixture of hate and envy.
“Sometimes I hate you.”
‘Why?”
“You’ll never understand.”
I decide to let her comment go. We just need to get the hell out of here and make it through the rest of the night.
I usher her into the back of my aunt’s Mercedes E350, a parting gift from her ex-husband. Aunt Mel doesn’t ask any questions as she drives us through the dark, empty streets and Eva cries softly while I stroke her hair.
I wake up slowly. The sun sneaks through the slatted blinds in Mel’s guestroom. Staring up at the wood paneled ceiling, I go through the events of last night.
How did it all fall apart? Why?
How did I miss that my oldest friend, TJ, is gay? I never saw any of this coming. Throwing an arm over my eyes, I feel tears come and I wish we could go back before all hell broke loose.
Eva’s deep breathing makes me feel relieved that she is at last, getting some sleep. She cried until the sun came up.
Gently shifting toward the edge of the bed, I check my phone to see if there is any word from Ryan, but the screen’s blank. Lovely. On top of everything else that happened, my phone’s dead. In my haste to leave I forgot my charger. Easing off the side of the mattress, I gingerly leave the room and make my way to Aunt Mel’s kitchen in search of coffee.
The digital clock on the microwave reads 9:30. Opening a cupboard I find her ground coffee and start filling up the pot.
“Nope, put that away. This morning calls for something stronger,” Aunt Mel says breezing into her deluxe but small kitchen. Opening her closet, she pulls out an espresso machine.
“Espresso and croissants okay with you, Vanessa? We can eat out on the patio while you fill me in on what happened to you girls.”
“Thanks, Aunt Mel. I need that.” Shuffling over bleary eyed to the sliding glass door, I unfasten the lock, slide it open and take a seat on her outdoor patio. It overlooks a small cove and it’s peaceful out here. My only company is a few gulls on the rocks eyeing my croissant.
Aunt Mel did well in her divorce from her husband, Gary, a few years back. He was never around much when I was growing up, he was always on call. He rarely came to any family birthday parties or holidays, so when they divorced it hardly affected me. Aunt Mel always said his career as a surgeon superseded her and the marriage. I never got the full story because she and my mom haven’t been close for a while. But Aunt Mel has always been there for me when I need her.
Last year when Sean cheated on me she was the only person in my family I told. Our many late-night conversations when I was at school helped me get through some tough nights. Mom’s jealousy would skyrocket if she knew how close I’ve become to her sister behind her back.
Mel sits down across from me and we sip our coffee in comfortable silence.
“Thanks for rescuing us last night—it was horrible.” I shudder recalling the moment I first saw Blake and TJ in the hot tub.
“Anytime, Vanessa, I’m glad I was able to be there for you.”
“I don’t even know where to start, we were all so close. I met my boyfriend, Ryan, at the beginning of summer and then Eva started dating his best friend, Blake Foster.”
“The Blake Foster?” Aunt Mel asks raising her eyebrows.
“You’ve heard of him?”
“Who hasn’t? His family is well known, especially around Newport. Gary used to belong to the Newport Yacht Club and would talk about Charles and Blake all the time.”
“Really? Anyway, we practically spent every weekend on Her Majesty almost like a double date on the high seas. My friend, TJ, you know him—would come out on the yacht with us often. I never thought twice about it since he loves yachting so much. It turns out Blake was giving him more than captain’s lessons.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I caught him and TJ naked together in the hot tub aboard Blake’s yacht last night. I tried to stop Eva from seeing it as well but I was too late.”
“Oh, God. That poor girl.”
“I know. Anyway, Ryan was in Boston and missed the whole thing. He’s with Blake now on The Majesty.”
“Did he know?”
“No. I trust him. I can’t picture him ever letting Eva get hurt like that.’
“She needs to get tested.”
“What?”
“STDs. Vanessa, honey, this is serious.”
“Shit! I never thought of that. What’s she going to do? She works for Foster sailing.”
“Well, that job is over. She can’t go back.”
“Agreed. What’s crazy is Blake thinks he can stay in the closet. He freaked at the thought of his father finding out or of it leaking to anyone at MYC.”
“I don’t understand? Society has changed, for Christ’s sake. He and TJ could get married at any yacht club here in Rhode Island or Connecticut. Why the secrecy?”
“I have no idea, Aunt Mel. I hope Ryan can talk some sense into him. In the meantime, Eva needs me. She’s going to be mortified when this gets out.”
“Let her sleep in, poor thing.
“I want to call Ryan but I need to use your phone. My cell’s dead.”
“Sure. Help yourself to whatever you girls need. I’ll even give you a ride back to Mystic. Heck, maybe I’ll pop in and see your mother.”
“Please don’t, I can’t handle any more drama.”
I get up from the table to give her a hug, then make my way back inside to call Ryan. I hope he has an idea about how to sort through this mess but his phone goes straight to voicemail. I stomp my foot in frustration and dial into my voicemail remotely.
“Vanessa, call me. I never meant for this to happen.”
“Vanessa, please, I need to talk to you.”
“Nessa—I need you. You’re my oldest and best friend. I can’t lose you.”
I ignore TJ’s messages wondering why there are none from Ryan.
Did Blake preemptively make good on his threat and somehow drive a wedge in my relationship?
Puffing out some air, I dial Ryan back. This time, leaving him a voicemail.
“Ry—it’s me. We’re still at my aunt’s house in Little Compton. My cell’s dead so call me on this number as soon as you can. I’m worried and I need you, too. I left my charger by the bed in your stateroom. Could you grab it for me? I love you.”
I walk back outside to where Aunt Mel sits enjoying the morning air. She still looks good at forty-five. Her body’s trim from playing tennis and her mahogany hair is still long and youthful. She doesn’t appear a day over thirty to me.
“Aunt Mel, you never did tell me why you and Mom aren’t close anymore. If I had a sister, I would hope she’d be my best friend.”
“It’s not that simple, Vanessa.” She sits back in her chair and cups her mug. She has a faraway look in her eyes. “Your mother has jealousy issues. She thought I had an easy life, married to a wealthy surgeon, living in a beach house and driving expensive cars, while she slaved away in scrubs working late shifts in the ICU.
But let me tell you—no woman has an easy life. Rich or poor, kids or no kids; marriage is hard. Having money can make some things easier while creating other problems. Your mother and I never saw eye to eye anyway. Frankly, your mom saw my marriage all wrong.”
I sit back and ponder her words. “Mel, did you know about Mom’s old boyfriend?”
“The one from Italy?”
“Yes. Did she ever tell you how it ended?”
“She said it was the long distance and that being on differe
nt continents was too much.”
“Nope. He was married the whole time he was dating Mom.”
“Ouch.”
“Yep.”
“Your mom hasn’t had an easy life either. She struggled with infertility and works a hard job. But so many people struggle with much more.”
“I hope you two can get together soon. I miss you, Mel.”
“Aww, Nessa, I’m always here for you.”
“I know,” I tell her giving her a smile over the rim of my mug. Her phone rings and my mind races straight back to more current relationships. I quickly answer when I see his number flash on her screen.
“Vanessa, it’s me.”
“Hey, I’ve been worried about you.”
“I’m in Newport with Blake. We were up all night talking and I’m pretty beat. I’m going to sleep for a few hours and then drive up to see you at your aunt’s. Text me the address.”
“Did he tell you what happened?”
“Yes. He told me everything. He was terrified it would ruin our friendship but he’s my brother. I’m there for him no matter what.”
“Wow, okay. But you know Eva is my sister, right? I should be there for her no matter what. I can’t be around Blake after what he did to her. I’m sorry, Ry, but no. Just no—”
“I understand why you feel that way. We’ll talk about this later, okay?”
“Sure, okay,” I whisper into the phone.
“Love you, bye.”
“Love you, too, see you soon.”
Aunt Mel comes in and places our coffee cups in the sink. My head’s in my hands and she pulls me into an embrace.
“It’ll be alright, Vanessa. These years are all about finding out who you are. It’s a difficult transition period. I’m not excusing what Blake did but just think how awful it must be for him to have to hide his sexuality from everyone. TJ, too, you’ve grown up with him. He also needs you now more than ever.”
“I know, Mel. How can I be there for Eva and TJ while supporting Ryan’s decision to support Blake?”
“Patience and love,” she simply says, patting me on the shoulder.
“I’m going to try to sleep in your hammock, is that okay?”
“Sure, sweetie, if Eva gets up I’ll look after her.”
Yawning, I clumsily pad across her deck, walking down a few steps to the lawn. The morning air is still cool and the ocean breeze blows across my face. My bare feet get wet from the dew that still sticks to the grass. Crossing her impeccably manicured lawn, I reach the old hammock under the large chestnut tree. Snuggling in I wrap myself in the blanket Mel had given me, pretending the curve of canvas hugging my body is my boyfriend. The gentle breeze lulls me to sleep, peacefully.
I sense his presence before my eyes open. His tall shadow blocks out the sun and I hear my name carried on the breeze, after it falls softly from his lips awakening me. I stare up into his handsome face. Taking my finger, I trace his cheek, it’s rough from stubble and his eyes stare at me, sad and tired.
“Please tell me it was all a nightmare?” I ask him.
“Sorry, I wish I could. Eva’s gone. She called an UBER to take her home.”
“What? Why did she do that? She should’ve woken me up! That’s going to cost a fortune. I hope she had enough money to cover the fare.”
Ryan shrugs and helps me out of the hammock, “She charged it to her Foster Sailing credit card.”
I shake my head, “Of course she did. But it’ll take a lot more than cab fare to square what Blake did to her. I wish she wouldn’t have left like this.”
“She wanted to let you sleep. Mel tried to stop her but she said that she just wanted to get home.”
“Typical Eva. When she gets hurt she shuts out everyone, but nothing like this has ever happened to her before. I need to call her.”
“I’m charging your cell, it’s in your aunt’s kitchen. I’m so sorry, baby. I had no idea Blake was struggling with this. I swear. I would’ve told him to come out and stop pretending. Hurting Eva was almost unforgivable.”
Almost?
“He wants to talk with her—help her understand.” His eyes are filled with sincerity and I believe him without question. Reaching up, I cup the side of his face. He closes his eyes and presses his cheek into my palm, rubbing his face back and forth.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Not yet, this just happened. She needs time, like a lot of time. Years, maybe. She was in love. Ry…she finally thought she was on the right track with everything but Blake was driving in the other lane the whole time.”
“I know. Come on, go shower we can talk on the way back to Connecticut. I’m going to drive you home,” he leans down to kiss me but I haven’t brushed my teeth yet and pull away.
“What?”
“I have morning breath.”
“I don’t care. I haven’t seen you in so long.”
He comes in close and this time I let him slowly and thoroughly kiss me, under the shade of the chestnut tree. Sighing, I open my mouth wider my fingers twining his hair.
“You taste addicting, all sugar and caffeine. I could kiss you for hours,” he tells me in between kisses.
We fall in the grass. Only dappled sunlight makes it through the full leaves and thick branches above us. When Ryan stretches out on top of me, we both moan in unison at how good it feels. I know we are out on my aunt’s back lawn in full daylight making out like lovesick teenagers, but it feels too good to stop. Finally, I hear a voice carry over us.
“You’re not bothering me, but my neighbor, Darlene, just phoned. The both of you are making that old biddy’s pacemaker short out. I do have a spare bedroom, you know,” Mel laughs.
Ryan presses his forehead against mine and slowly releases his breath. He pulls himself up on his elbows but his body’s still pinning me down. He grins and our eyes meet with mirrored expressions of humor.
He lets me up and we walk inside hand in hand. I’m confident we can move forward together and face the fall from Eva and Blake’s relationship head on. I just wish the summer we shared with our best friends was real. I look up at Ryan feeling lucky, because I know this was just another perfect moment. One of the many he’s given me.
August
Today goes by in a blur of last minute summer guests. Mindlessly I check them in and out. Past days have gone by slowly, the clock ticking down the minutes. The sticky humidity of August blasts in with every bang of the lobby door and I’m on autopilot, mechanically moving throughout the days.
Wistfully, I relive the previous three months in my mind. The incredible days we spent on the Majesty are on replay over and over in my mind. I pick apart my memory for any clues that I might have missed. Were there any signs or awkward moments between Blake and TJ that I overlooked? How could I be so blind? Have I been so caught up in myself that I didn’t realize TJ liked men? What do I do now, caught in between my two best friends? One betrayed by the other? These are the questions that keep me up at night.
I still haven’t spoken or seen TJ since that night ten days ago. Eva’s gone underground; her phone goes straight to voicemail and she never showed up for work at Foster’s. She didn’t officially quit, just cold turkey dropped them.
Mr. Foster’s furious with Blake, blaming him for losing her as a valuable employee. He’s accusing him of screwing up again. Blake, as far as I’m aware, still hasn’t disclosed to his father what happened and so far, we’ve all kept our word and the secret lies between the five of us.
Ryan and I are trying our best to hold on, but deep down I’m scared that Blake’s secret will tear us apart. Ryan’s been taking Blake’s side without question. Assuring him that he’ll always have his back.
The fact that Eva’s gone off the grid buys me some time but something is going to have to give. I can’t be with Ryan while he blindly ignores the pain and humiliation Eva is going through. Every time I’ve gone to see her, Mrs. Cruz denies she’s home and won’t tell me where she is. Her Jeep’s gone, too.
My cell beeps under the reservation counter breaking me out of my thoughts.
“Hey, Ryan,” I answer quickly, walking into the back office for some privacy.
“Hey, sweets, I’m in between meetings. I need to make this quick. I can’t make it down this weekend.”
My stomach clenches at his words and disappointment floods through me. I haven’t seen him since he drove me home from Newport and my fear seems to be coming to fruition. Gripping the phone tightly against my ear I make my plea.
“Can I come up to Boston then? I’ve never been to your place and I miss you.”
The phone is silent on the other end.
“It’s not the time. Blake and Charles are visiting this weekend. I’m taking them to the Boston Yacht Club for dinner with my parents. If things go well, Blake’s going to come out. I’m sorry, baby. He needs me now more than ever. My parents will be there as a buffer just in case Mr. Foster goes off the rails. I hope you understand after my sister—after everything Blake’s done for me—I have to be there for him.”
“Ry, you are so loyal and such a strong man. I love that you are taking the high road for your friend. But what about me? About us? I need you, too. And I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready to see Blake after what he’s done to Eva. I still haven’t been able to get ahold of her and I’m worried.”
“Vanessa, he’s my best friend. If we are going to be together, I need you to forgive him at some point, for my sake. Besides, Eva’s a strong woman, she’ll rebound.”
My face flushes as beet red as a Maine lobster. His words spark an outrage I feel for Eva. Hell, for any woman who’s been betrayed or been cheated on, myself included. For him to ask me to just brush off my feelings is bull. I can’t believe he thinks we should just shrug off Blake’s betrayal like it’s no big deal.
“I’m not ready yet. Ry…I’m not sure if I can ever make a promise to you that I’ll forgive him. I’m also a little confused. How did you get back into the family fold so quickly?”
“I have a conference call in fifteen minutes. I can’t get into this now over the phone with you, again.”
I hear the exasperation in his voice. The same as it was two days ago, when we last broached this subject.