‘Will you tell me what is?’
I dropped my gaze from him, staring down instead at the black-patent ankle-strap shoes that had given me such pleasure, and some pain, this evening. Hunter’s hand caught under my chin and gently tipped it so I was looking back up at him.
‘You wanted me to talk to you once. I know it took me longer than it should have but I’m asking you to do the same now.’
‘I’m not sure what to say, Hunter.’
The flicker across his face said more than any words could have. He replaced it almost instantly with one of his beautiful smiles, but I knew what it covered.
‘It’s OK, Mia. Like I said, I had no expectations from you. It was something I needed to find out. Once and for all.’ He bent and kissed me on the cheek before letting his hand drop and taking the few steps to his own room. The key beeped and he pushed the door, disappearing inside while I was left standing outside my own. Questions raced around my brain. All the questions I’d wanted to ask him, and yet nothing had come out. I’d just stood there. Letting him walk away. Again.
Chapter Twenty Four
‘What the hell?’ Hunter exclaimed as he pulled the door open. I realised my sudden decision to knock on his door before I backed out had probably resulted in its being a little more forceful than I’d intended. His tie was now off and the top couple of buttons on his tailored shirt undone. His suit jacket was slung over the arm of the chair and a bottle of mineral water dangled from the fingertips of one hand. ‘Mia?’
‘You’re right. We need to talk.’ I stepped into his room and walked over to the couch. He followed me and, when I turned, his eyes were down.
‘What?’
‘I’m sorry. Those shoes are kind of distracting. Carry on.’
I peered down. ‘They are?’
Hunter ran a hand over his jaw. ‘Big time.’
I shifted my weight, suddenly thrown. ‘Should I take them off?’
‘God, no! Sorry. I’ll concentrate. What is it you wanted to talk about?’
‘Us.’
‘I thought you’d said it all out there.’ He tilted his head at the corridor.
‘But I didn’t say anything.’
‘Usually when someone says “I don’t know what to say”, it’s not good news. I wanted to spare you having to go into it all. You don’t need to find excuses for me, Mia. I always knew it was a long shot.’
‘But you see, that’s it. You’ve got it wrong. I meant I don’t know what to say because every time I look at you, the last thing I want to see is you leaving again.’
His eyes were dark in the low light from the bedsides. He shifted his weight. ‘I sense there’s a but coming.’
I gave a head wiggle of concession. ‘But. There was a reason we split up before and I’m not sure those reasons are resolved. I know you think you were the only one with a broken heart before, and I guess it probably did look that way, but I can assure you that wasn’t the case, Hunter. When you left, it felt like my heart had been ripped right out of me. And worst of all, I’d done it myself. I sat down by that front door and cried solidly for two hours, desperately hoping I’d hear the car, that you’d change your mind. I never wanted you to leave. But I knew I couldn’t give you what you wanted. The longer things went on, the more I knew that, as much as I wanted to be, I wasn’t the woman who could make you happy. And I’m not sure anything’s changed.’
Hunter sat on the end of the bed and reached out, gently taking my hands and pulling me closer.
‘So many things have changed, Mia. But the one thing that hasn’t is that I still love you more than anything in this world. When I came round after the surgery, they asked me if I wanted them to contact you. Apparently I’d been calling your name in the MedEvac helicopter. More than anything I wanted to say yes.’
‘Oh, Hunter,’ I whispered as he pulled me closer still, his arms moving to my waist. ‘But what about all the other things?’
‘What other things?’
I took a step back. Being this close to him was making my brain fuzzier than I needed it to be right now.
‘I know how much you loved the childhood you had, and I know you want to be a father one day. But I can’t be that perfect stay-at-home mum. I’ll always need to work at something. It’s part of who I am.’
Hunter was frowning. ‘Mia, I never expected that of you. I knew we’d find our own way of doing things when the time came.
‘It was the perfect situation for our family but everyone is different. Every family is different. I’d get annoyed when you’d just dismiss it because it felt like a slight on my family. But I know now it wasn’t. It was your defensive mechanism. You explained all that and I’ve had the time, and gained the wisdom, to see that.’
‘Oh.’
He lifted his hands again and gently tugged me back towards him. ‘So. Is that all of your objections?’
‘Umm. Yes. Pretty much.’
‘You know I’m still going to want to protect you, and care about you, and do stuff for you. I can’t help it. And it’s not because I don’t think you’re capable of doing it yourself. I know you can and you never, ever need to prove anything to me. I do it because it makes me happy to do things for you. And because I’m still crazy about you, no matter how much I tried not to be.’
‘Then I’ll do my best to accept things graciously. But just know I’ll be doing the same for you. For pretty much the same reasons.’
His mouth curved up as his hands slid down. As they hit mid thigh, they came to an abrupt halt, and his eyes met mine.
‘Is that a suspender belt?’
‘Umhmm.’
‘With those shoes?’ His voice had gained a slightly rough edge that kicked off a thousand memories within me. All of them good. Some of them amazing. He cleared his throat. ‘It’s probably a really good thing I didn’t know you had all that going on earlier. I’m not sure I would have made it through the ceremony.’
‘You know what? These shoes really seem to be bothering you. I think it’s probably better if I just take them off.’
Hunter’s hands moved quickly, lifting me onto his lap. ‘Don’t you dare,’ he whispered as his mouth covered mine and his arms tightened around me as he moved us both backwards further onto the bed.
***
‘Hey.’ Hunter’s sleep-roughened voice called.
I’d woken earlier and, carefully disentangling myself from his sleeping form even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, I’d slipped on a hotel robe and begun writing up my piece on Liv and Sandeep’s wedding in longhand on the hotel’s notepaper.
I turned at his call. ‘Good morning.’
‘What are you doing over there?’
‘Working.’
‘On paper?’
‘My laptop’s in my room and I didn’t want to wake you by faffing about with the door. It’s only a rough draft anyway.’
‘When does it have to be in?’
‘Not for a few days.’
‘Good. Come back to bed.’
‘Hunter,’ I began, ‘I have things to do.’ Admittedly, none of those things held as much appeal as his suggestion.
‘I know. And so do I. In fact, I have a very long list of things to do. Now get that cute arse of yours over here so I can get started.’
‘You do have a way with words.’
‘That was always more your forte.’ He winked at me and I felt the soft blush creep up my neck.
‘I think you’re a bad influence, Hunter Scott.’ I said, dropping the robe and sliding back between the sheets.
He hooked an arm around me and pulled me on top of him. ‘Oh, I do hope so.’
We’d flicked on the television later that morning to be greeted by the news that London and the south-east were experiencing extremely heavy snowfall and people were being advised not to travel. Hunter had declared that meant we really shouldn’t go anywhere this afternoon. Purely for safety reasons, of course. Of course, I’d agreed. Safety first, always. The n
ext thing I knew it was dark outside and we’d barely left the bed all day.
My head was resting on Hunter’s chest, my fingers splayed over one of his scars.
‘What’s going through that head of yours?’
I smiled against his skin. Saying “nothing” would be pointless. He knew me far too well.
‘Does it hurt?’
I felt his head move and glance down over me to the scars before letting it fall back onto the feather pillows.
‘No. Not really. Occasionally it gets itchy but I’m used to it now.’ His chest rose and fell underneath me. ‘I know they’re not exactly pretty, Mia, but they’ll fade and—’
I shoved myself up so I was looking down at him lying on his back. ‘Do you think they bother me?’
‘Well, like I said, they’re not exactly neat and tidy. The doc did a great job with what he had to work with.’
‘Hunter! I don’t care what they look like. And I’ll never be able to thank any of the people enough who helped you. Everything they did brought you back to me. I just wondered if it caused you any pain. Like the scars up here sometimes do.’ I traced my fingers over his hair as I laid back down on his chest.
His hand curled around my free one and he lifted it to his lips, kissing the palm gently. ‘No. And those are getting better too. I promise. I have someone I see, and I’m going to make an appointment to see him to talk over what happened with the fireworks. And the nightmare. Things are a lot better than they were and I’m determined to keep it going in that direction.’
‘Good. I’m glad you’ve got someone who’s helping you work things out.’
‘Yeah. I’m lucky. I could afford to do it. There are plenty of people, servicemen and women especially, who can’t and there isn’t enough help available. I’ve actually talked to Liv about it and, once she’s back from honeymoon, she’s promised to arrange one of her gala dinners to raise money for the few charities that do offer help, and increase awareness about how much more is needed.’
‘That sounds like a great start. I get the feeling Liv and Sandeep know some pretty influential people. It can only help.’
‘That’s what I’m hoping.’
‘So, apart from attending gala dinners in your posh frock,’ I teased, ‘what else is next for you? Do you have another job lined up?’
‘I’ve got a shoot in Paris for a few days just after New Year. And I’m looking at a couple of other things for afterwards I haven’t quite made up my mind about yet.’
‘Very nice too.’
‘I’m more concerned with what’s happening closer to home, though.’
‘Meaning?’
‘You. Me. Us.’
‘I thought the fact I’m in your bed meant that was a little more decided.’
‘I love you, Mia.’
‘I know. I love you too.’
He shifted and rolled so I was underneath him. ‘I still want to marry you. Oh my God, so badly. But I’m not expecting us to just pick up where we left off. We’ve both changed and we’ve both grown. I’m happy to basically start again, if that’s what you want, if that’s what makes you feel comfortable. We’re going to get it right this time.’
‘I think we had it right last time. We just didn’t know it.’
He dipped on his arms and kissed me. ‘I think you might be right.’
‘Then are you going to give me my ring back?’
‘What?’
‘That’s mine, I believe,’ I said, reaching up and touching the diamond.
The grin spread across his face as he sat back and pulled me with him. His hands went to the chain, undid it and the ring slipped into the palm of his hand. Lifting it with his other, he took my left hand and began to slip the ring back on my finger.
‘Wait!’ I said, pulling my hand away.
Hunter’s confusion was clear but he pushed it aside and folded the ring within his hand. ‘It’s fine. Like I said, there’s no rush.’
‘No…’ I caught his hand. ‘It’s not what you think. This…’ I turned his hand over and released his fingers, leaving the ring glittering in his palm. ‘You made this your good luck charm. In the plane. In the bombing. Perhaps you should keep it now.’
Hunter smiled, leaned forward and kissed me softly, his hand moving to gently take mine again.
‘You’re my good luck charm now, Mia.’
Loved snuggling up with The Christmas Holiday? Keep reading for an extract from The Best Little Christmas Shop coming this Christmas!
Chapter One
I dropped my bag on the floor, flopped face down onto my childhood bed and let out a groan. This was so not how it was supposed to be. But then I’d learned that there were some things in life that no matter how much you planned or wanted them, just weren’t to be.
Letting out a sigh, I wriggled over on to my back, staring up at the ceiling blankly for a moment before dragging myself up and wandering over to the squishy sofa that sat beneath the window, snagging my furry slipper boots on the way. Plopping down into the softness, I pulled the boots on before turning to look out of the window. Folding my arms across the back of the sofa, I leant my chin on them and peered out into the last vestiges of daylight.
My room was separate from the rest of the house - a self contained studio flat above the garage that my parents had created for me in my early teenage years, providing an escape from my four brothers. Not that we didn’t get on – I was lucky in that respect. But a girl still needs her own space and, more importantly, her own bathroom. The fact that mum often used to come and sit with me clued me in to the idea that I wasn’t the only one using it as respite from all the testosterone.
Mum and Dad had always wanted a girl. They never planned to have five kids and I was definitely a last ditch attempt so there was some relief when I popped out. From the time I was born, I’d been dressed in and surrounded by more pink than was really acceptable, even for a very girly girl. And therein lay the problem. I was, very definitely not the girliest of girls. I could have the prettiest dresses and the cutest little bunches but I was still coming home covered in mud, with scrapes on my knees and a big grin on my face. To their eternal credit, Mum and Dad were never disappointed and had never tried to force me into doing something I didn’t want to, or stop me doing the things I did. Trailing along after my brothers, up their elbows in car parts and wood and oil and mud, I was at my happiest. It was hardly a surprise then that my choice of career wasn’t traditionally feminine either, and after years of working my way up, I had been well on my way to becoming Chief Engineer for the number one driver in our team. But “had been” was definitely the operative term.
Now I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do. I’d spent the last year trying to find another place I fitted so well. But there was nothing. I had no job, and no prospects. For the first time in my life, I didn’t know what to do.
I let my gaze drift down to where weak, cloud shrouded moonlight was now highlighting the bare branches of the huge honeysuckle bush that sat beneath the window. In the summer, its heady, intoxicating scent would drift up and fill the space. Now it just looked spiky, bare and barren. There was a knock at the door and I rolled my head to see my eldest brother, Matt, enter carrying my case and another smaller bag.
‘Where d’you want these?’
I shrugged. ‘There’s fine. Thanks, Matt.’
He gave a glance, ignored my instructions and carried the luggage across the room, laying them next to the off white French style wardrobe and chest of drawers.
‘Any chance of a cuppa?’
I let out another sigh and dragged myself off the sofa and over to the tiny kitchenette. It had rarely been used for anything more than a sandwich and endless cups of tea and hot chocolate because, although I might have wanted a little independence all those years ago, I also knew that my mum was pretty much the best cook in the world. Big family dinners were our thing. It didn’t have to be a special occasion. The everyday was special. It was fun, sometimes nois
y – ok, always noisy – with plenty of discussion and a lot of laughter. I think that’s why I’d enjoyed the team atmosphere of work. We’d got on well and, being away from my family so much, it had provided me with a surrogate one.
I boiled the kettle and pulled a couple of mugs out of the cupboard whilst Matt grabbed a pint of milk from the mini fridge that mum had clearly stocked up earlier in the day.
‘I’d ask if you’re glad to be home but it’s pretty clear from your face that you’re not,’ Matt said as he plopped milk into our tea.
‘What?’ I looked up at him, genuinely horrified, ‘Of course I am!’
‘Ok,’ he took a slurp, watching me over the rim of the mug, ‘but you are aware you’ve got a face like a slapped bum?’
I rolled my eyes at him, picked up my mug and took it back to the sofa, pulling the handmade quilt draped across the back of it over my legs as I sat down. Matt sat next to me, his mere presence calming me as it always had. He and I had always had a special bond. As the eldest, he’d seen it as his job to take care of the others, but especially me as the youngest, and as a girl, no matter how many times I tried to tell him not to treat me differently. But secretly I loved it. Whatever happened, I always knew Matt would have something wise and comforting to say.
‘So, guess you’re really stuffed on your career then if you’re home?’
Alright. Maybe not always.
I gave him a stony look. ‘Thanks for that.’
He shrugged and took a sip of tea. ‘I’m sure you’ve got a plan. You always do, no matter what life throws at you.’
I lowered my eyes and watched a traitorous tear splosh into my drink.
‘Lex?’
‘Hmm?’ I kept my gaze lowered.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Matt put his mug down to the side of the sofa and reach out to take mine. I made a half hearted attempt to hang onto it for a moment but gave up. I was tired. It had been a long day of travelling and really, I was just tired of all of it, of putting on a brave face for everyone, pretending that everything was under control when the truth was quite the opposite. Matt tilted and dipped his head, forcing me to look at him.
The Christmas Holiday Page 26