by Jason Banks
As he sank his bottom into the inviting sofa cushions, Max lifted the receiver from the hardwired phone provided by the hotel. He quickly thumbed through the assortment of breakfast options, stopping on the page with a picture of elegant powdered sugar dusted French toast drizzled with genuine maple syrup. This seemed to be an excellent choice for the both he and Lily to enjoy a quiet, private breakfast in bed. He placed their room service order of delicious looking French toast, a generous sized flat white latte with three espresso shots and a large glass of chocolate milk for the munchkin. He tried to speak quietly as he leaned backward to check in on sleeping beauty resting so peacefully in the size-able bed. The attendant downstairs advised him their order would be up within about twenty minutes before Maxwell returned the phone piece into its cradle.
With his own phone in hand, he browsed through his recent Facebook notifications and unread text messages. His email appeared to include the set itinerary for Melanie who confirmed the details of her flight schedule. The email from his twin sister included a heartfelt thanks among other things including how many pieces of checked baggage she’d be traveling with. A series of kissy-face emojis followed her deep gratitude. It was good information for Max to know how many suitcases she’d be bringing, since he’d flash some funds electronically to cover the extra checked baggage fees which Delta was going to assess. Since she was providing him with a very solid favor by caring after Lily while he attended his last fashion show (at least as a photographer), he wanted every detail to be reimbursed with no hassle on her part.
He hammered out a quick response to Melanie’s email while hearing the rustling of bed sheets from the sleeping quarters.
Sis,
I love you so much and can’t wait for you to get here. ‘Lil and I will be right outside in the loading zone of your terminal the minute you arrive. I’ve just sent you a few hundred bucks to cover your checked luggage fees and anything you think of needing like airport meals, Starbucks... anything at all. You’re the best twin sister anyone could ever ask for.
What a good idea it was to spend time out of the normal flow of things at home. I haven’t slept this good in a few nights. After her very first mud bath, I even surprised myself when I got Lily to try something new at lunchtime. They were miniature cucumber sandwiches with cream cheese, prosciutto, tomato and fresh spinach. We spent the whole day yesterday pampering ourselves to distract us from thinking about the missing man in both our lives. God I miss him so much, I’ll probably never find a man as wholesome and caring as Brogan. But knowing you’re going to be here with me makes everything feel better. You rock my socks, Kid. XoXo – Max
Lily shuffled around their suite while Max finished his email response to Mel. He heard the princess flush a toilet from the room’s adjoining facilities. The surprise of running faucet water took Max aback as he fully expected needing to remind her about hand washing.
He glanced up from his phone’s screen to notice Lily making her way toward him as if a small herd of zebras were about to topple him. She held her arms out and Max welcomed the attack of hugs as he reeled her up into his lap. Lily leaned her head back into Maxie’s torso and let out a sigh.
“Maxie, I love you so much,” she admitted in her sweet, innocent tone.
“I love you even more, Sugar bear,” Maxwell replied with much conviction. “Have I ever told you about the day you were born?”
“Oh gosh yes, you and daddy have both told me a million times.”
A smile warmed over Max’s face as he lowered his chin to her head and attacked Lily with tickles to her ribs. “I figured as much, I never remember all those times as well as you do—you’re such a smarty pants. You’re going to grow up to be a big, but very beautiful, nerd. I have no doubts you’ll make something big of yourself.”
“I want to be a doctor just like daddy,” Lily responded, turning her head to rest her hands on Max’s chest.
“If that’s what you want, then you can do anything. You will always have my support, one hundred and eighty percent, Sweetheart.”
“Speaking of stories,” Lily replied, drawing in a breath. “You never talk about how you met daddy. When was it? What was it like? Did you fall in love instantly?”
Max couldn’t understand how a soon-to-be second grader would know about the concepts of romance and dating, but it didn’t surprise him too much since kids were practically being born with an iPad in their hands.
“You’ve heard this one before, Silly Jilly,” Max teased.
“I know I have,” Lily answered back, shrugging her shoulders. “I just wanna hear your side of the story.”
“Well, wouldn’t you think it would be the same story daddy has told you before?” Max giggled, almost jumping several inches as a rap on their main door was heard outside in the hallway.
“Room service!”
Lily sank her freshly manicured fingernails into the fabric of Max’s shirt. “Who’s that?”
“It’s our food, I’m quite hungry,” Max responded, holding a hand up to his mouth. “I’m coming,” he called out.
Max adjusted Lily’s posture by leaning her into the cushions beside him on the couch before stepping towards the door to let the attendant inside. Their food and beverages glided gently on top of the mobile delivery cart. Plates covered with shiny brass domes let out a small wisp of steam while the man uncovered their secured beverages, so they didn’t spill in transit. There were no doubts within Max regarding how much greater their brunch was for Lily than the prior morning at IHOP.
***
“She should be popping out those doors any moment,” Max announced, twisting his head toward the backseat to face Lily.
Finally after two days, Max was able to procure a new booster seat for Lily. Of course, it didn’t go without an installation in the mall parking lot. Nevertheless, he didn’t need to worry about that, provided he had a shit ton of heavier worries to deal with. For instance, funeral arrangements, death certificates, signing over accounts, life insurance hoopla, and of course dealing with the Baxter family from abroad. Of all those things, Max dreaded facing his vicious in-laws the absolute most. Luckily for him, he wasn’t alone in that feat since he would have his twin sister there to play Switzerland—or Team Williams all the way.
“Lookie there, munchkin,” Max exclaimed, pointing out the window. “Here comes Auntie Mel.”
A look of surprise lit up Lily’s face. “Yay, I missed her.”
Max stepped out from the driver’s seat to give his sister the warmest, tightest welcome ever in the history of their family. It went without saying, he needed this more than anyone could possibly imagine. He hadn’t seen Melanie since they visited Indiana for Easter—when that picture of the three Baxter-Williams residents propped against the sturdy, wood fence.
“Oh Max, I’m so so sorry. For everything this week,” Melanie said, as tears strode down her face.
“I missed you so much, sis, there are no words to describe how much I need you right now,” Max cried.
The two twins held each other in a tight hug for several moments, just relishing in their reunion. Max wanted to break the grasp to transfer her luggage into the back, but Melanie’s clutch wouldn’t warrant anything from breaking free of their bond.
“Okay, seriously sis, Lil’s in the car just ecstatic you’ve flown all this way,” Max insisted, bending down to reach the handle of her suitcase.
“Oh that poor, poor innocent little child,” Mel said. “She must be absolutely devastated.”
Max nodded. “Yeah, she’s had a rough couple of days. Today she seemed to have lightened up a bit,” he acknowledged, lifting her luggage with the strength of his right arm. “Jesus, what do you have in here? Cinder blocks?”
“A woman always has to have options,” Mel retorted. “Besides, I planned on sticking around for a few weeks,” she hinted. “If that’s alright with you?”
Max grinned from ear to ear. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he insisted. “I’m a
lso just grateful to have you for this weekend especially, since I absolutely cannot miss this shoot,” he added, scooting the large suitcase into the rear of the Porsche Cayenne. “In fact, I think it’ll probably be my very last.”
Melanie reached for the front passenger door handle. “I am always here for you, Max. Always,” she reassured, “and don’t give up your occupation altogether.”
“What do you mean? My job would be impossible to keep up as a single parent, and I wouldn’t dare travel everywhere with Lily. Too many dangers for an autistic child,” re replied, opening the driver’s door.
Melanie buckled her seat belt. “No, that’s not what I mean.”
“Auntie Mellie, I missed you so much!” Lily screeched throughout the cabin of the vehicle.
“Aww hon, I’ve probably missed you even more so,” Melanie replied.
Max sighed. “I don’t have the bandwidth to play twenty questions,” he replied. “I have so much to deal with. I can’t argue about this,” he added, switching on the ignition.
“No, I mean there’s always freelance,” Mel offered. “Just take things as they come. If anyone can afford to take some time off, it’s you,” she added, raising an eyebrow.
“True enough,” Max admitted, advancing through the passenger loading bay.
Heavy traffic could always be assured anywhere within the perimeters of Denver International Airport, which put Max’s nerves on edge driving in such congestion. Since the crash, he feared that the possibility would strike him in the future too—even worse if Lily were riding along. The evening sky lit up with orange-purple hues with wisps of feather-like clouds scattered throughout while the sun descended behind Grays peak. Nearly dinnertime and with the plainly empty stomach rumbling around in his stomach, Maxwell thought he’d take Melanie and Lily out for supper. Well that and of course he despised cooking—which was Brogan’s area of expertise.
“I bet you’re starving, Sis,” Max guessed, switching lanes to the right side of Pena Boulevard.
Melanie looked up from her phone. “Yeah, I could eat. Haven’t eaten since a small breakfast anyway.”
Lily chirped from the back seat, waving her hands. “I’m hungry too, Maxie.”
“Well, I for one could eat a horse,” Max added, reaching his right hand back to high five Lily.
Lily slapped into Max’s outstretched palm. “Can we go to the goat place?”
“Ummmm, I couldn’t think of any better place, Princess,” Max agreed, offering Lily a wink.
“The goat place?” Melanie questioned.
“Yeah, that’s what she calls it,” Max replied. “It’s a pub style eatery off Havana street called The Goat and Clover Tavern,” he added, “it’s her favorite place because of the dim lighting and is usually not crowded on a weeknight.”
“They have the best chicken fingers in the whole wide world, Mellie,” Lily explained, screeching in a high enough pitch it would shatter a wine glass.
“We’re right here, Sweetheart. There’s no need to shout,” Max insisted.
Lily frowned. “Sorry...”
Max blew back a kiss from the driver’s seat. “Oh hon, it’s alright. We just need to use our indoor voices.”
“Okaayy...” Lily obliged.
Tapping back to her phone’s home screen, Melanie stifled a yawn. “I don’t know if I’m as hungry as I am tired. But flying taxes the heck out of ya.”
***
In-between Melanie and Max, Lily propped herself up to the table like a big girl. At seven, she was of the age where she didn’t necessarily need to be distracted with coloring pages and crayons. However, given the adult conversation that would take place this time warranted Max to retrieve a set of earbuds so Lily could watch a cartoon on Netflix from Max’s phone.
“Here, babe. Our food is gonna take a little while, why don’t you put your earphones in,” Max suggested, handing her the white corded earphones while plugging them into his phone. “Let’s see what we’ve got here,” he added, thumbing through the kid’s section of the video app.
Promptly, Lily pointed to the screen. “That one,” she insisted.
“Ummm... not quite, I think this one has been misplaced, An Inconvenient Truth should most definitely not be classified as kid friendly,” Max asserted, scrolling down the list further. “Here hon, how about you watch Paddington? It’s about a teddy bear,” Max offered, not entirely certain of the film’s premise.
As Lily leaned back into the cushion of the booth, she held Max’s iPhone in front of her with both hands on each end. Max returned his attention to Melanie who was nose deep in her own device. Max cleared his throat.
“Well it looks like the entirety of Hamilton and Boone county is under a tornado watch,” Melanie explained, tapping the top power button on her phone.
While rolling his eyes, Max raised his right hand. “That is one thing... I don’t miss a bit,” he admitted. “While the Front Range here in Colorado is not typically known for such frequent tornado storms, they’re not completely impossible this side of the Rocky Mountains.”
“Hope Mom and the pups are okay,” Melanie wondered, rolling up both her sleeves to each elbow.
“Oh yeah, I’m sure she’s hunkered in the basement with each yapping Yorkie chasing each other around the downstairs couch,” Max replied, placing the palms of his hands over his exhausted eyes. “I’m so tired, I feel like I could sleep for a whole month straight,” he exaggerated.
“So...” Melanie began, “now that she’s preoccupied with a show, should we talk about how we’re gonna plan the service?”
“Christ, I have no idea where to begin, Sis,” Max retorted, blowing out a sigh and running a hand across his scalp. “There’s just too much to do and I’m literally expected to be in the big apple this time, tomorrow.”
Melanie placed her hand on Max’s hand which rested upon the table. “Just leave anything you can to me, I can handle it, Boo.”
His heart beat fast within his rib cage. Max hadn’t heard Melanie refer to him as ‘Boo’ in ten years.
“Well, one of the doctors at Mt. Sinai told me that night if I were planning an orthodox funeral for Brogan, since he was Jewish, that I’d need to consider immediate plans and have him covered in dirt no later than two days after.”
“Shit, that’s rough,” Melanie offered.
Max shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, it’s part of their religious practices I guess, or something like that,” he replied, taking a sip from his soda glass. “I’d just lost him, I wasn’t prepared to even flatter a thought about immediate funeral arrangements. Besides, I knew it would take more than 48 hours for his side of the family to fly from Paris.”
“That’s assuming you wanted them to be a part of his funeral at all,” Melanie added.
“You got that right, Sis,” he said. “But it’s their son’s funeral. I wouldn’t be that heartless to deny them the right of having closure and what not.”
“True, I know that.”
Max rested his chin inside the palms of his hands again. “That doesn’t mean I wanted to bury him in the ground either. So before I made any decisions, I knew I was going to go against their orthodox views either way and I requested the option of refrigeration while I made up my mind.”
He continued. “Also, it doesn’t mean just because his family would prefer some elaborate casket, having our autistic daughter have to see it lowered into the ground just seems off-putting for even myself. And shouldn’t it be my fucking decision anyway what to do with my husband?”
Melanie reached over to hush her brother. “Quiet down, you don’t want her learning that language.”
“It’s nothing she probably hasn’t heard before, for all I know, and besides she’s way too focused on that movie to be paying attention to us,” Max bit back.
“If you want my opinion,” Melanie stated, holding Max’s hand in hers.
“I do, of course I do,” Max insisted.
“I think to be fair, there should
be some give and take with the arrangements. Obviously, a burial seems most necessary, given their customs. But nothing’s saying you must host Shiva or what not in your own home, I mean I think anyway.”
“Yeah, it kinda does. That’s widely expected, I know that for sure. But I have heard him talk a while back about how someone was doing a partial Shiva in their home and the rest took place in a different house. So long as you’re here with me, I think I could endure a few days of sitting on a circle of benches with my monster-in-laws. God I can’t stand them.”
Thoughts of being in the same room as the Baxter clan made Max’s blood boil. Their rejection of him as a part of their family and the constant bickering between them did not allow a very peaceful relationship with Brogan’s family. But he knew that he was a dignified man in trying to be as understanding as possible, since he and Lily weren’t the only ones in grief. While he and his sister sat talking about funeral arrangements and the list of things needing completed, their food approached the table as Lily perked up her nose from the scent of their arriving dinner.
“You know what,” Max exhaled, placing a palm into his forehead. “The traditional timing for Shiva has already passed. So, I guess cremation it’ll be. I just need to find a nice urn for his ashes.”
Dear Brogan,
Melanie found this angel app advertised in one of her suggested Facebook ads while browsing on her plane trip to come help take care of Lil while I go to this last fashion shoot. It’s for writing to passed on loved ones in a way to help the grieving process or some shit. It might work, but maybe it won’t. I’m trying it on for size, though. Even if to appease my twin sister’s concerns.
It’s only been a few days since losing you, but I miss you already. It feels like a year has gone by without you, yet in a year from now it’s going to feel like a lifetime. How the hell am I going to be a good full time parent to this bright, young girl who barely knows me? I’m no stranger, but it feels like there’s so much I have to learn in so very little time. You were the perfect father and I know I’ll never measure up to the outstanding role model you served for her in a mere seven years.