by Alex Ryder
He tried the point with his finger. ‘We haven’t got anything decent to eat. I, being the realist, am going to spear some fish for supper while you, my dear little idealist, are busy collecting driftwood for the fire.’
He took her again that night by the glowing embers of the fire. It was sweet. It was tender. It was everything she’d ever dreamed of and more. Just before she fell asleep exhausted in his protective arms she knew that for good or bad she was hopelessly and helplessly in love.
CHAPTER SIX
II WAS five o’clock on the following evening when they tied the Miranda up to the jetty in Thikos harbour, and that was when Carrie found out just how big a fool she’d been and just how much she really meant to Nikos.
She’d first begun to suspect it early that morning when she’d taken coffee up to the wheelhouse. The anchor had been raised and the Miranda was just slipping out of the inlet. She had taken one last look at the beach and sighed. ‘I won’t forget this place in a hurry, Nikos. I’ll always remember it as somewhere special.’
He took the coffee from her and gave an uninterested grunt. ‘I don’t see why. As I told you yesterday, it’s fit for nothing but goats.’
Her blue eyes clouded. It was hardly the response she’d expected. More like a slap in the face, really.
‘Perhaps you’d be good enough to tell me what course I’m supposed to be steering,’ he growled.
She ignored the tone and the hint of irritated sarcasm in his voice and found the chart. ‘There,’ she said, pointing. ‘Thikos. We need fuel, fresh water and provisions and my credit is good there. We’ll spend the night there then head north towards—’
‘I know Thikos,’ he said, cutting her off abruptly. ‘There’s a good hotel. At least we’ll have a comfortable bed for the night.’
‘What’s the matter?’ she asked stiffly. ‘Getting tired of roughing it?’
‘I just don’t see any point in spurning the benefits of civilisation whenever they’re available,’ he said shortly.
She felt like telling him that she’d never invited him aboard in the first place then thought better of it. It was going to lead to things she was desperately trying not to think about. She bit her lip then said awkwardly, ‘Yes…well, I’m going below now to tidy up. I’ll take the wheel over in a couple of hours.’
She took her frustration out on the galley floor with a stiff scrubber. All right, she hadn’t expected hugs and kisses, but he could have been a bit more polite, a bit less surly. Granted he was right and the place was only fit for goats, but surely it meant more to him than that. It was the place they’d first made love and you’d have thought that at least…
Her knuckles grew white around the handle of the scrubber as the memory suddenly flashed through her mind with sickening clarity. They hadn’t made ‘love’. Love had nothing to do with it. They’d simply had sex. Those had been his own words. After all, he was a realist and damned proud of it. A spade was a spade and she was being nothing but a damned fool if she tried to read any more into it than that.
She finished the floor then tackled the cooker and by the time she’d finished that she found herself wondering if she was over-reacting. Just because he’d been a bit offhand with her she was jumping to the worst possible conclusions. After all they’d been through together…surely he wasn’t still… Too afraid to put the thought into words, she glared around the galley for something else to attack.
Praying that his mood had changed, she took another coffee up to him when she went to relieve him at the wheel. Smiling brightly, she handed him the mug. ‘That’s the last of the sugar in there, Nikos. I saved it for you.’
He took it with scarcely a murmur and she gently ran the tips of her fingers over his back. ‘Those cuts are almost healed. It must have been the…salt water yesterday morning.’
You’d have thought that the oblique reference to their session of ‘hydrotherapy’ would have caused at least a flicker of amusement, but it didn’t. He turned to her briefly but it was long enough for her to see the blank indifference in his eyes as he grunted, ‘Yes. I dare say it was.’
Once again she stiffened at his surly rejection of her attempts to be friendly and she said coldly, ‘I’ll take the wheel now.’
With a shrug he stepped aside and took his coffee out on deck.
Grabbing the wheel and automatically checking the course, she swallowed her bitterness. He’d accused her of being an idealist and maybe she was but when circumstances warranted it she could be just as much a realist as he claimed to be. She could be just as bloody-minded as him. Before this day was over he was going to find that out. She’d given him what he wanted and now it was up to him to stick to his side of the bargain.
As soon as they arrived at Thikos he went ashore to book a room at the hotel, leaving her to see to the refuelling. As for the provisions, she’d see to them first thing in the morning when the produce in the local market was fresh. Finally she topped up the fresh-water tank from the pump on the jetty then she went below for a quick shower.
Ten minutes later she was back on deck again, dressed in a red blouse and white skirt. There was still no sign of him and she paced around the deck impatiently.
Her plan of action was still hazy in her mind but she was determined about one thing. She wasn’t going to sleep with him tonight. This farce had gone on long enough. She was through being used by men. Victor had used her for his own gratification and Nikos was simply using her as a way of restoring his ‘family honour’, whatever that was supposed to mean. Well, it was ending right here and now. The next man who came into her life was going to have a hard time proving that he truly loved her before she’d allow him to lay a finger on her.
When Nikos eventually arrived back she had to spend a quarter of an hour kicking her heels until he’d showered and changed and then, when he came up on deck, he had the nerve to comment on her appearance.
Eyeing her up and down critically, he grunted, ‘I like the blouse. The skirt is too short. Haven’t you anything a bit less revealing?’
Her hackles rose then she contented herself with a look of scorn. ‘You weren’t so damned prudish yesterday.’
‘Yesterday we were on a deserted island,’ he reminded her coldly. ‘This is a busy port. I’m well known here.’
She had a ready answer to that. ‘Well, if you’re afraid it’ll hurt your reputation to be seen consorting with a piece of trash like me you can always go by yourself. I’d much rather stay here anyway.’
With a gleam of dark humour in his eyes he gripped her firmly by the arm and yanked her on to the jetty.
The restaurant he took her to was busy but the head waiter, obviously recognising him, conjured up a fairly secluded table and took their order.
In contrast to his attitude towards her during the day, Nikos was all affable charm now. She kept her responses polite but distant during the meal and this time she was careful to stick to her normal limit of two glasses of wine. When he attempted to pour her a third glass she put her hand firmly over the top. ‘No, thanks. I’ve had enough.’
‘It’s a very good wine,’ he pointed out. ‘It would be a pity to waste it now that the bottle is open.’
‘You drink it. I’m sure you can manage.’
The candlelight reflected in his green eyes as he frowned. ‘What’s wrong? Aren’t you feeling well?’
‘Perfectly well, thank you.’
He leaned over the table and lowered his voice, ‘Then why are you being so unsociable?’
Her eyes smouldered at him angrily for a moment. ‘You haven’t been particularly talkative yourself today, have you?’
‘I had something on my mind,’ he explained sharply. ‘Your small talk was distracting me.’
‘Well, I’ve got something on my mind,’ she snapped back. ‘And your small talk is boring me. I’ve more important things to think about.’
‘I see,’ He tapped his knife on his plate and stared at her thoughtfully. ‘Perhaps you’d like to
tell me about it.’
‘Oh, I will,’ she promised heavily. ‘But not here. I hate creating scenes in restaurants. Somewhere quieter would be more advisable.’
His lips stretched in a thin, humourless smile. ‘Such as our hotel room?’
‘That’ll do perfectly as long as the walls are thick enough.’
‘Hmm. It sounds as if I’m going to have a very interesting night.’
Her blue eyes were icy. ‘You can bet on it, Mr Spirakis.’ Oh, yes, it would be interesting enough, she told herself. But not quite in the way he was expecting.
They finished their meal in silence then Nikos ordered a taxi to take them the short distance to their hotel. As soon as they were in the room he examined the large double bed then smiled at her provocatively. ‘I think we’ll be quite comfortable on this, Carrie. Shall we get undressed and try it out now?’
‘You can do whatever you like,’ she told him disdainfully. ‘I’ve no intention of sleeping with you tonight. Or any other night, come to that.’
‘Is that a fact?’ He considered her statement briefly then fixed her with a penetrating look. ‘You realise the consequences to your brother if you take that course of action?’
‘I’m through being blackmailed by you,’ she grated. ‘I gave you what you wanted so now I want you to turn Jimmy free. There’s a phone on that table. You can give the order right now.’
‘Out of the question,’ he said dismissively. ‘Now, is there anything else on your mind?’
Her mouth dropped open. She’d been prepared for anything but this granite-hard refusal. He’d spoken and that was that. One look at that coldly set face, the utter lack of sympathy in his eyes was enough to tell her that her act of rebellion was doomed to failure.
White-faced and shaking with impotent anger, she lowered herself into a chair and muttered, ‘I’ve been a fool. I should have known.’ She looked up at him with a hopeless bitterness. ‘I was falling in love with you. And I thought…’ The words stuck in her throat for a moment then she continued, ‘I thought you were starting to have.. .to have feelings for me. But I was wrong, wasn’t I? You don’t have any feelings at all, do you? You’re just like a soulless robot programmed for revenge.’
‘You had no business falling in love with me,’ he growled. ‘You’re only complicating matters.’
She was complicating matters? Good God, it was enough to make you break out in hysterical laughter, she thought. Perhaps she should apologise to him for falling in love.
‘I’ve been honest with you right from the start,’ he went on ruthlessly. ‘The least you can do is be equally honest with yourself.’
‘And what the hell is that supposed to mean?’ she demanded in a fury.
He strode across the room, gripped her shoulders and pulled her savagely to her feet. ‘I’ll tell you what it means,’ he mouthed. ‘You’re suffering from a guilty conscience and you’re trying to lay the blame on me.’
She looked at him as if he’d gone mad. ‘Me? I’ve done nothing to feel guilty about. You’re the one who should be feeling ashamed of yourself.’
‘Stop deluding yourself, you little fool,’ he rasped. ‘Your conscience wants you to play the suffering martyr in order to save your brother but your natural instincts are betraying you. You’ve found to your horror that you actually want to have sex with me. That’s the truth of the matter, isn’t it?’
She tried to struggle free from his grip. ‘Let me go. You’re out of your mind.’
‘Answer me!’ he demanded fiercely. ‘Admit it.’
She glared up at him in frustration then shook her head. ‘No. That’s ridiculous.’
‘Is it?’ His green eyes seemed to burn their way into her soul. ‘Are you foolish enough to think that a man can’t tell when a woman desires him? The look that lingers a fraction too long. The dilated pupils. The slight flush. The way she trembles at your touch. If you’d worn a sign round your neck saying “Take me, I’m yours” you couldn’t have made it more obvious.’
She looked away, unable to stand that searching scrutiny any longer. ‘Your imagination was playing you tricks,’ she muttered angrily. ‘Wishful thinking. I never asked you to make love to me. You just grabbed me and I…I—’
‘You’re the one whose imagination and memory is playing tricks,’ he broke in coldly. ‘I didn’t grab you. The fact is that I was feeling sorry for you. My original intention was to make you kneel and plead with me to take you but that was too much to ask. You arrived on deck that night with blankets and pillows and after a few glasses of wine you tried to summon up enough courage. But you couldn’t, could you? That’s when I decided to make things easier for you by initiating the proceedings. I thanked you for saving my life and asked if I could kiss you.’ He paused then went on drily, ‘That was all you were waiting for, wasn’t it?’
A feeling of self-revulsion swept through her, leaving her sick with humiliation. Had she really been that obvious? That transparent? God, how he must have been laughing to himself.
He released her and she sank down into the chair again. It was hard to decide whom she hated most, him or herself. She saw him go to the phone and for a moment her heart leapt. Perhaps he was going to relent and let Jimmy go at last. Then she heard him tell Room Service to send up two bottles of wine and glasses.
Her blue eyes glittered at him in anger. ‘I told you that I didn’t want any more wine.’
He shrugged. ‘You may change your mind later on. I’ve a distinct feeling that you will. Now I’m willing to forget this unnecessary quarrel. I suggest that you do the same.’
Enraged by his complacency, she got to her feet and went straight to the bathroom. For a moment she stood, trembling, looking at her reflection in the mirror, then she turned on the cold water and splashed her face. How was it possible that she could ever have thought she was in love with a man like him? she asked herself. Had it been a subconscious way of submerging her guilt? After all, that was the best excuse of all for having sex, wasn’t it? You simply convinced yourself that you were in love with the man and that made everything all right.
When she went back into the bedroom five minutes later she saw that the wine had arrived and she scowled at him. She had one last desperate card to play and she tried it now. ‘I’ve just been sick,’ she lied. ‘I think I’m pregnant.’ She lowered her eyes in embarrassment. ‘It looks as if you’ve done what you intended. There’s nothing to stop you using the phone now.’
He looked at her thoughtfully. ‘I see…You’re quite sure about it?’
‘Yes. Positive. I’ve never suffered from sickness before.’
He nodded. ‘Very well.’ He reached for the phone then paused. ‘If I order the release of your brother will you sleep with me tonight? Just one last time?’
Her breath caught in her throat. ‘No! I…I…’ Her voice trailed away in confusion as she felt the power of those green eyes awakening the slumbering demon in her soul. She looked from him to the bed then back again and bit her lip.
‘Why not, Carrie?’ he coaxed softly. ‘It’s not too much to ask, is it? Your brother’s freedom in exchange for one last night in my arms. You surely can’t detest me that much, can you?’
She closed her eyes and nodded once. ‘All…all right. I’ll do it.’
‘Yes. I thought you would.’
Something about the tone of his voice jerked her eyes open and her heart sank when she saw the sardonic tilt to his mouth. ‘Do you take me for a complete idiot?’ he asked mockingly. ‘You can’t possibly tell if you’re pregnant yet. It’s too early. Now let’s have a drink and stop all this foolishness.’
She dug her nails into her palms until the pain overcame her rage then she took a deep breath and said quietly, ‘You’re a despicable excuse for a man.’
‘You didn’t think so last night.’
‘I didn’t see you in your true colours last night,’ she countered.
‘You only see what you want to see,’ he replied, equally blunt.
‘That’s the trouble with being an idealist. Now the next time you come to me and tell me that you’re pregnant you’d better be pretty damned sure that you are because you’re going to have to submit to a pregnancy test before I’m satisfied.’ Ignoring the look of outrage on her face, he went on, ‘The test will be carried out by our own family doctor. The same doctor, incidentally, who confirmed my sister’s pregnancy.’
He poured two glasses of wine then said casually, ‘If he finds that you aren’t pregnant then we start all over again. Personally, I don’t care how long it takes. Now do you want this drink or not?’
She ignored his outstretched hand and sank weakly on to the settee. This nightmare was getting worse by the minute. There had to be some way out. Something she could do. Pleading and begging was out of the question, not because of pride—she was long past that stage by now—but because she knew that it would not have the slightest effect on him.
She stared dismally at the carpet for a moment then she got slowly to her feet and confronted him calmly. ‘Very well, Nikos. I’ll have your child and pray that it’s a boy. A boy as strong and sure of himself as you are.’
‘Good. I’m sure he will be.’
She gave him a cold smile. ‘Yes. So am I. Because as soon as he’s old enough to understand I’m going to tell him what you did. I’ll tell him how his own father deserted him and me, his mother. He’ll hate you, Nikos. And I’ll feed that hatred every single day until he reaches manhood. And when that day comes he’ll seek you out and destroy you and your whole rotten clan.’
The silence in the room grew taut as he stared at her resolute face. Finally he smiled. ‘Don’t you think you’re being a bit melodramatic, Carrie? After all, it may be a girl. And in any case who knows where any of us will be in twenty years’ time?’ He shook his head. ‘No, Carrie. A threat like that doesn’t impress me one little bit. You’ll have to do better than that.’ He thrust the glass at her again. ‘Now take this. You look as if you need it.’
Well, that was it, she thought bleakly. She was out of ammunition now and tooth and nail were no use against this man’s impervious shell of selfassurance. Hardly aware of what she was doing, she took the glass and swallowed the contents in one go.