by Lacey Silks
“Not yet. He hasn’t been home in over a week. I asked him to meet me here so that I could tell him the truth in a public place. I didn’t want him to make a scene. But he didn’t even show up. I think at this point, I should just pack up my stuff and leave.”
“I’m so sorry.” She touched my hand from across the table.
“I think it’s for the best.”
I hadn’t felt hope in years and I could only attribute its new presence in my chest to a man I barely knew, yet felt as connected to as if we’d been together for years.
“The guy from the club. What’s his name?” she asked, as if reading my mind.
“Axel. He’s... amazing.”
I shook my head. He was on my mind each minute of the day and night. What was I expecting from him, anyway? I was a nobody, and he was… everything.
Jesus, I don’t even know him that well, and I’m acting like a fifteen-year-old girl.
“I feel so guilty because I can’t stop thinking about him.”
“Does he feel the same way?” she asked.
“I’m not sure if I can repeat in public how he feels about my fiancé or about me. But he says he’ll support any decision I make. Yes, he wants me to leave him. He wants us to have a chance.”
“Do you have a place to stay after you leave him?”
“I do. Am I making a mistake? Because it sure doesn’t feel like one.”
Hopefully the new apartment I was about to move into would be ready after this weekend. At least that’s what Mr. Sanders, my new landlord, had promised.
“From what you’ve told me, I don’t think you are, Trish. You should follow your instincts, but make sure you’re safe. Some people don’t take rejection well. And when you tell your fiancé it’s over, it would be smart to have someone there with you.”
“Tell who it’s over?” Brad’s voice boomed toward us. I met his angry gaze above Julia’s head.
“Brad! You’re here.” My body went rigid. How much had he heard? I could only imagine what would happen if he didn’t take the news well. Maybe it was better that Julia was here. Maybe I shouldn’t go to my apartment – which he had keys to – but just forget that the new one was unfurnished and leave. At this point, I preferred to sleep on the floor so long as I’d never see Brad again.
“I should leave you two alone,” Julia whispered from across the table.
Please, don’t leave me alone with him! Was that fear real? For the past year that I’d known Brad, I hadn’t allowed myself to admit just how much this man scared me. I deserved to live in fear, and Brad was as bad as they got. He’d never hit me, but the threats he spat were definitely real. The sanctions he’d made for me to stay at home and work, see him when he wanted, serve him as he asked, fuck him at any hour of the day, were small payments for my sins.
“I think it’s best you stayed, Julia.” Brad shoved his ass into the seat beside Julia, squeezing her against the window. And why was he looking at her that way?
“You two know each other?” I asked.
“We’re old high school friends. I’ve been trying to get her to put out for years, but have yet to succeed.”
I lowered my head. He was trying to embarrass me again. “Brad, please.”
“Are you lecturing me, Trish? Because for a whore who fucks in clubs, you have no right to chastise me.”
He knew what I’d done. Was that why he’d stayed away? Was it possible that I’d gotten to Brad Watson? I didn’t think so.
“I think you should leave.” Julia spoke toward him, but her voice was much quieter than earlier. Brad had that effect on people.
“Trish, leave,” he barked, ignoring Julia.
What would he do if I left? The fear I saw in Julia’s eyes from across the table made the hairs on my arms stand tall. How deep was their history? Was she as fearful of him as I was?
“I… I can’t.” I lifted my head higher.
“If you don’t, you’ll find your friend in the dumpster at the back,” he threatened. “Shredded to pieces.”
I felt my eyes well up. He growled and his nostrils flared. I knew the kind of trouble Brad was capable of; he bragged about it enough. I didn’t want to be the reason Julia got hurt, and I sure as hell couldn’t do anything to stop him on my own.
“It’s okay, Trish. I’ll be fine.” Julia tried to ease my worry. Well, if I couldn’t help her here, then I had to do it from elsewhere. I walked out of the café without looking back and dialed the new number in my phone. I might have deserved Brad’s wrath, but she didn’t.
“Trish?” Axel’s voice did something funny to my throat. Why did I want this man to be the man in my life? I barely knew him. I didn’t even know where he lived.
“I need your help. Actually, it’s for myself and a friend. My fiancé, Brad, is here, and he’s mad. Like, really mad, Axel. I’m afraid he may hurt her.”
“Where are you?”
I gave him the address.
“I’m five minutes away.”
He hung up. I stood across the street, watching as Brad and Julia walked to the back of the café, his body almost pressing against hers from behind. I found that gross – disgusting, actually – because I knew that Julia wasn’t Brad’s type, so the forceful way in which he was guiding her scared me.
What if he hurts her? I’d never forgive myself. I’d let one man hurt my sister, and promised myself to never let another one hurt any other woman I knew, but this was different. I wasn’t at a university frat party where drinks and drugs swayed men to be braver— this was the real world. And Brad didn’t need any drugs to be gruesome.
The passing minutes before an expensive sports car pulled up in front of the café lasted too long. I might not have known a lot about cars, but I knew this one was unique. Axel jumped out the front door before the engine got a chance to shut down.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“He took my friend to the back. They’ve been there for a couple of minutes now.”
Axel turned to run, but I grabbed his wrist, “Axel, he’s dangerous.”
His eyes darkened as he replied, “So am I.”
My heart pounded as Axel ran inside the café. Minutes later, the screech of car wheels echoed from the back alley, and Brad’s SUV pulled out. His tight grip on the steering wheel and look of hate in his eyes reminded me of the man who had used and abused me over the past year that I’d been with him. For the first time ever, as I remembered what he’d put me through, a sickening feeling filled my stomach.
I ran into the alley. Axel was holding Julia’s limp body in his arms, look of fear and desperation covering his eyes. His hands and light gray shirt were covered in the blood that was still dripping from Julia’s hand. I removed the summer scarf from my purse and wrapped it around her palm.
“I can’t let her die,” he kept repeating. “She can’t die.” Pain flourished on his face, tremors vibrated through his body, and fear flowed in his eyes. Axel was looking at me, but it felt like he was looking through me, as if searching for a miracle. He was somewhere else, in a different place and time, completely lost.
Sirens sounded in the distance, and I assumed that Axel had already called 911. Everything happened so fast that the next thing I knew, I was sitting in the passenger seat of Axel’s luxurious car, following the ambulance to the hospital.
“I wanted to break it off with him officially. I wanted to make sure he was out of my life.”
“Well, let me make it easier for you, Trish. You’re officially not dating that asshole. How did someone like you end up with Bradley Watson?”
“You know him?”
“You could say that. He’s a nutcase, Trish. Fuck!” He hit the steering wheel with his hands before resuming his grip. “Brad is a man who lives by his own rules, and that’s dangerous.”
No one had to tell me how dangerous he was. It was one of the reasons I stayed with him, but at this point, I didn’t want to risk my life — not anymore. Death was too easy.
> When we arrived at the hospital, doctors and nurses swarmed around Julia. Most of Julia’s injuries were external, and her doctor friend, Chris, went above and beyond her duties in taking care of Julia.
I gave Axel all the details of how I’d met Brad at the restaurant where I worked. I omitted how I offered myself to him, because that would lead to too many questions, but I did tell Axel where he lived – or at least where I thought he lived, because he’d never officially told me after he moved. Brad told me he worked at a bar, but he’d never said where. His schedule was unpredictable, and he could show up at my apartment at any time. He had keys, and the past few months had practically lived with me.
Loud steps thundered through the hospital hallway as a man ran toward us. The door swung open and a stressed man, sporting an identical tattoo on his arm to Axel’s, barged through.
“What the fuck happened?” he asked Axel.
“Brad got to her.”
“Fuck!” the guy swore, drawing attention from a nearby nurse who gave him a stern look.
“This is Scar, my brother. He’s Julia’s boyfriend. They’ve known each other, and Brad, since high school.”
Axel went on to give Scar the details of Brad’s attack, and I stepped out into the hallway. I leaned my back against the wall and slid my body down to the floor. Lowering my head onto my knees, I wondered whether Brad knew Axel as well as he had known Scar. What if they were friends?
Had I dragged all these people back into the life of crazy Brad Watson? Everything was happening so quickly, and my desolate life was once again turning into one big mess. Worst of all, I was afraid I had no control over any of it. The desperation around my heart had eased the moment I found Axel. I brought my hand to my chest, where the pain of my past was revived; yet it didn’t throb as much as it used to. It had been a while since I’d had someone I could depend on. Axel showed up when I needed him without question, like a hero from a movie. Trevor was right: Axel was a true hero.
“This isn’t your fault,” I heard from above me, and I lifted my head.
Axel crouched down and took my hands into his. Our gazes connected in the special way they had that night in the hallway. His touch was almost shocking, yet comforting at the same time. My heart began drumming with happiness.
“Please tell me you knew Brad before you met me. Please tell me I didn’t drag you into his life.”
“I did.” Axel’s voice soothed my worries. “And you didn’t drag me into anything. He’s part owner at Scar’s strip club, Hounds. In fact, he’s the one who’s taking care of the business downstairs.”
“What?”
“He never told you?”
“No, of course not. I mean, he’s been going out a lot, and I… well, I never questioned him.”
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“That’s not a good answer.”
“Well, you said it yourself: Bradley lives by his own rules.”
“Then why would a woman like you choose a man like him?”
I shook my head. How could I tell him that Brad was the penance I had to pay for my mistakes? Axel let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his thumb along my hand. “I’m sorry for losing it in the car, Trish. I’m not that man anymore. I should have kept my anger under control.”
“You did nothing wrong. You were right to get upset. Brad is a worthless piece of shit.”
“Then why would someone like you be with him? Help me understand, Trish. Please?”
“I… I can’t.” My body was beginning to shake, my arms prickled, and my hands clenched into fists. I felt him trying to unwind my grip, smoothing his fingers over mine, slowing the time for us both, and the heat languorously uncoiled my digits, right until I could press my full palm to his. And all the while he was whispering, “It’s okay, it’s okay.”
I wasn’t sure how long that lasted. Axel kept our gazes locked, sealing our connection.
“I’m not letting you go back to that apartment.” His voice was low and soothing.
“Why not?”
“Does Brad have the keys?”
He did. And now that I’d betrayed him, running into him could be a death sentence. Yeah, I’d better stay away from there.
“Where do you expect me to stay, then? I mean, I could go to the new apartment—”
“—No. There’s no furniture. You’ll stay with me.”
“I barely know you.”
“Well, then we’ll have to do something about that, won’t we? Come on, Trish. You do know me. It’s only been a couple of weeks, but you’ve never left my mind for a second during that time.” That hint of a smile that showed on his face was like a drop of rain in the desert: precious and barely enough. That little sunshine glowing in his eyes eased the pain in my chest. As I paid attention to the beating in my heart now, that quick rush of blood pumping through my veins, I realized I might actually be a little dizzy.
But he was right. I did know him — probably way better than I knew Brad.
“Okay, I’ll stay with you.”
Once Julia was strong enough, Scar pushed her wheelchair around the hallways while we followed, exchanging information about Bradley Watson. I told Axel that Brad had been traveling to Europe every couple of months, and that he’d always said it was for business. I also learned that Axel and Scar had been wanting to shut down the downstairs party room for good, but couldn’t do it without Brad’s approval — that portion of the business belonged to him. It was a brothel for married men and women who needed a sense of adventure and could cheat once on their significant others, whether they were spouses or partners; apparently Brad’s clever idea. Scar never thought it would take off and agreed to invest with him as a way to start his own business. Unfortunately, there were more sick men in the world than Scar had guessed.
The notion of cheating made me nauseous. It had broken me apart in the past, and it was breaking me again. Since I’d let Axel fuck me up against that wall, I was officially a cheater as well, even though an asshole such as Brad deserved to be cheated on. In hindsight, was I being stupid? Yes. But carrying the values I had left from my home had kept my sanity intact; it kept me from losing my identity.
Axel sent someone to pick up my things from the apartment. As we drove to his house, wherever that was, I took in the luxury of the leather seats, tinted windows, purring engine, and a touch-screen dashboard. I could never afford anything this expensive, at least not with my minimum wage pay.
“Shit, I’m supposed to be at work right now.”
He laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“You swearing. It’s cute. Your nose wrinkles when you’re upset.”
“I’ll lose my job.”
Axel sighed and continued driving. His brows scrunched together. “Does Brad know where you work?”
I nodded.
“Did you like the place we went to last week? Olivier’s?”
“Are you kidding me? I loved it.” It was one of the most exclusive restaurants I’d ever been to, and although we’d eaten our dinner from cartons at the hospital, the food was delicious.
“Olivier is a high-end chef, and the security there is top-notch. A lot of celebrities appreciate that. I’m also pretty sure he’s looking to hire someone.”
“Seriously? Would you put in a word for me?”
Could I even hope that I wouldn’t have to serve greasy burgers to chubby truckers with overgrown beards that hosted armies of bacteria?
“Already done.”
“Wow! Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’d love to tell my boss that I’m quitting, and I’m not looking forward to hearing him rant about not calling in today.”
“He’s not a good boss, I presume?”
“Another asshole.”
Axel shook his head. “Let me take care of that for you, okay? I want you to rest and not stress. You’ve been through a lot.”
Sometimes I wanted to scrunch Axel up, hide him in
my pocket, and use him as my lucky charm for the rest of my life.
“What kind of car is this?” I asked.
“A Bugatti.”
I didn’t know much about cars, but I did know that only a handful of people could afford something this sleek and comfortable.
“So, apart from holding the hero title and dabbling in real estate, what do you do?”
“I don’t dabble, baby. I deal in real estate.”
“You sell houses?”
“For the most part, yes.”
“You must be doing well, then.”
“I am.” The grip on his steering wheel tightened.
“You don’t like what you do?”
“I do. It’s better than what I used to do.”
“And that was?”
“Kill.”
Chapter 6
He was joking, wasn’t he?
“Does that scare you?” He looked away from the road to gauge my reaction.
“Do you want to scare me?”
“I don’t, but I don’t want to lie to you. I need you to know who you’re dealing with.”
Why didn’t it scare me? What was wrong with me? Was it because it was Axel?
“Especially since you didn’t know you were dating an asshole. You’re not a good judge of character, Trish.”
The problem was that I actually was. I knew exactly who Brad was when I first met him and definitely didn’t stay with him due to his charming personality.
“You were serious about the killing, weren’t you?”
He looked at me for a moment before his concentration resumed on the road.
“Before my younger brother, Cash, cleaned up my father’s businesses, we dealt with what you would call mafia, among other thugs.”
I twisted my fingers together, clasping them, waiting for him to continue.
“If I didn’t pull the trigger, I’d be dead.”
“So it was in self-defense.”
“Yes, but…”
“Jesus, Axel, for a moment there I thought you were an assassin.”
“Wasn’t being a gangster bad enough?”
“I don’t know. I guess. But I know that you’re a good man because I’ve seen you with Trevor. And you came to help me when I called.” I then lowered my voice. “And I’m not a bad judge of character. I knew what kind of a man Brad was when I met him. We all have ghosts from the past that haunt us.”