by Kamisa Cole
Could he be right?
“Guy’s gotta point,” Sav muttered.
“Guy’s still listening,” Nash pouted.
My heart stuttered in my chest, the air in the cabin suddenly not enough, and the moment Savage parked at the bar, I got out, inhaling deeply. If that was true at least I hadn’t defiled a minor… Although technically that ‘minor’ had defiled me.
The need to search out Alec was suddenly overwhelming. “You okay?” Nash asked and I couldn’t wrap my head around how much the guy was suddenly acting as if we were close. Before yesterday I’d hardly exchanged any words with him, just a few here and there, and now?
Couldn’t say that I minded though. We stepped into the bar and Nash turned the key behind us. Gage waved us over to the bar and Gus followed, slower than the rest, looking around.
“It’s an incredible bar, isn’t it?” Gage asked from where he stood, pulling out tumblers, behind the bar. The pride was obvious in his voice, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“It is,” Gus admitted. “Never been here before.”
I shrugged. “Not quite your crowd or your area. Don’t you live on the other side of town?”
Loosening his tie and unbuttoning his suit jacket he took a seat next to Savage in front of the bar while I claimed the other side. Nash slipped onto a bar stool next to me and Gage pushed over the tumblers.
“What’s your pick?”
As each of us chose, he filled the glasses, and then sighed. “Okay, so we got you out, but that won’t mean anything. I checked the security footage. You did throw the first punch, which doesn’t look good, so I’m not sure if I should hand it over.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, ice clinking in my glass as I lifted it to twirl the amber liquid. “Appreciate it.” I licked my lips. “I keep going over it, and I think I recall most of the fight even if I was in a haze, but… I don’t think I did enough damage to cause a lasting hip-injury. In fact, I don’t think I did enough damage to cause any serious injuries.” And that was the truth. I’d been over it so often in my head and I couldn’t pin-point exactly when I’d gotten Alec’s father anywhere near the hip.
“Hip?” Gage echoed.
“I’m with him, let’s not hand the security tapes in just now,” Gus said at the same time, but Gage’s hand coming down hard on the bar caused me to ignore my lawyer.
“Yes. I supposedly caused a hip-injury that is permanent,” I repeated what the police officer had stated.
“Cracked the right hip during the fight. That’s what’s stated in the witness report. Or probably in this case in the report McGowan has given,” Gus supplied helpfully, and I wondered how he’d already memorized the phrasing.
Gage shook his head. “Even when Kash took him down there’s no chance the hip cracked. Like I said, I checked the footage, and his punches went to the chest, the face, and the stomach. He grabbed Alec’s dad and lowered him to the ground slowly. I remember clearly because I’d been thinking I would’ve knocked the feet out from under that asshole instead of being soft.”
I smirked. You didn’t shake off years of training, even in a real bar fight.
Gus leaned forward. “Really?”
Gage nodded. “It’s on the tapes,” he reassured my lawyer.
Gus’s expression morphed into one I knew too well. The case was cut and dried and, as always, Gus would have me walking away free.
“Good. Very good. I need the footage, and tomorrow I’ll go to the police and see what they think about that. Boys, drink up because barkeeper there just solved this case.”
Barkeeper rolled his eyes. “It’s Gage,” he mumbled angrily, and Gus grinned.
“Gage, nice to meet you. I’m Gus, and whenever you need help, call me. I’ll get you out.”
I turned to him, finding Savage watching my lawyer, his expression open, almost filled with awe, and when I glanced at Gage, I couldn’t help but think that he saw the same thing I did.
Not saying anything though, he lifted his glass. “Here’s to keeping assholes in check.”
We drank to that and my worry eased a little. By now I was convinced Nash was right, and that meant at the very least what had been going on between Alec and me didn’t have to be a forbidden fantasy any longer.
ALEC
DiverCity reopened two days later, and Kash was back on the job, as were Savage and Nyra. Everyone acted as if nothing had happened, and while Kash had avoided team breakfast, I couldn’t stand the thought of not seeing him so at half past ten that night I made my way out to the front of the bar.
“Alec, where the hell do you think you’re going?” Nash was manning the bar near the kitchen entry and held me back.
“I need to talk to him.” I doubted anybody had missed the tension between me and Kash, and while he’d dialed me drunk the night he’d been arrested, I had merely listened to his voicemail instead of talking to him directly. Had I been worried? Yes, but I’d also been drunk, stupidly so, and I’d worried about all the truths my mouth would spill. All the secrets I didn’t want him to know, all those things I wanted him to do to me.
Nash sighed. “You need to get back into the kitchen and stay there, handsome. I’m serious.”
A guy walked up to me, passing too close even though there was enough room to walk around me. “Sorry, beautiful,” he said, eying me up and down. I was wearing my chef’s jacket and jeans underneath that, but I didn’t think it was my most flattering outfit.
Besides, the guy seemed to be old, maybe in his thirties.
That thought stopped me short because Kash was thirty-one and that had never bothered me. Then again, that was Kash.
“Beautiful is not interested,” Nash stated, and I glowered at him. I hated that suddenly everyone seemed to be babying me. No doubt they all knew who had attacked Kash outside and caused him to lose his cool. Hell, they’d probably known before I had, and yet I could handle all this by myself.
“Maybe beautiful is interested,” I replied instead, stepping up to the stranger just to spite Nash. “You know, because beautiful is old enough to make his own decisions.”
“Or maybe he’s just too immature to see when someone’s trying to protect him. You should not be out here,” I heard a voice from behind, and it went right through me.
I turned and the stranger next to me glanced at the scowling Kash before glancing at me.
“I-I think I’m out of here. I sense issues,” he commented, and then was gone.
Kash’s expression turned hard. “Did you really consider going with him? If so, I guess I’m sorry I ruined your chances at new experiences. However, Alec, with the police kinda having us on their radar because of me, you should not be anywhere near the alcohol.”
I pointed at the floor where I stood. “In front of the bar, not drinking. I’m good, Kash.” God, I longed for him to call me Baby Boy again, letting me know that he still wanted me as much as I did him.
He nodded briefly, then his attention turned to Nash and he ignored me as if I wasn’t still standing there. “There’s a group of guys outside, five of them. Jocks, by the looks of it. They are slightly intoxicated. I don’t think they’re a danger, but I ultimately wanted to leave the choice to you,” he explained while I poked his arm.
“We can handle it. Besides, if they do turn into trouble you can always kick them out later. Jocks in here usually mean good money.”
I furrowed my brows. “And slurs. At least most of the time.”
They both ignored me this time and it pissed me off, reminding me that in the loneliness of my room I was furious with Kash anyway.
He should not have risked his freedom for me.
Besides, it was time I stood up to my dad and not run like I did last time after letting his fists rain down on me first.
“Then I guess we’ll be letting them in,” he decided, and Nash nodded.
Enough was enough, and so I stepped in until my front was pressed into Kash’s side while I cupped him through his jeans. “You lo
ok tense. How about you let me suck you off in the back to relax you a little? And maybe then you’ll actually give me some attention instead of pretending I’m not here.” I massaged him through his jeans, feeling how he hardened against my palm, and my dick reacted promptly too.
Kash held Nash’s eyes, and when I glanced at the bartender I saw him smirking. “Kid’s persistent,” he teased.
“I’m not a kid,” I pointed out and Kash’s eyes met mine.
I was still waiting for him to grab my hand, to push it away and move out of my grip, but he didn’t. Instead his expression softened. “No, luckily you’re not,” he agreed, then his fingers wrapped around my wrist, stilling my movements. “This is sexual assault at work, Alec. Let me go right now.”
He swallowed, and his hips were moving against my fingers. I had no idea if he was conscious of the gesture or not, but it let me know he wanted it. “I miss your dick between my lips, Kash. Let me assault you some more,” I whispered, going onto my tiptoes.
He closed his eyes. “And what about all the things you want to see in the world? The things we agreed you needed to experience before—”
Finally, I let my hand drop, falling into his words. “I need you alone, so I can push you and scream at you, but I didn’t think you’d follow that invitation. You shouldn’t have punched my father,” I snapped, and he paled, stepping back as if I had slapped him.
“Take it somewhere else, boys. You’re drawing attention,” Nash hissed, but I didn’t care.
Kash’s face turned into a stone-like mask as he lifted his chin. “We’re not taking it anywhere. I’m done with this conversation.”
He turned. “I’m not. If you don’t talk to me now I’ll find you at your place, and I’ll scream until you open your door, Kash. I’m serious,” I threatened.
He sighed and then turned to me. “I’ll find you after I’m done here, okay? And I’ll come to your place. End of discussion.”
There were a million things I wanted to say, but decided I’d keep them for later. After all, he’d be walking away from me either way, and I definitely didn’t need to look any more like the kid they kept calling me.
“If not, I’ll find you,” I called after him, but he didn’t even react.
“Such a little stalker,” Nash commented with a grin.
“A pretty one at least,” I answered and then made my way back into the kitchen, hoping we’d be busy long enough for the time to pass quickly.
The apartment was quiet… Well, as quiet as it could be with some guys snoring and my female roommate listening to punk, albeit turned rather low.
I still easily heard the rapping of knuckles against the front door and stood instantly. I opened the door, and it was obvious Kash was done for. He was swaying on his feet and a blast of whiskey fumes hit my nose when I leaned in a little.
“You’re fucking drunk,” I stated, feeling like a parent who’d just caught his son sneaking in.
“Yeah, no way I’ll get one up then,” he explained, stumbling inside and over to the couch.
Confused, I shut the door. “Come again?”
“Not wisss you ‘round,” he replied, and I crossed over to him.
“How the hell did you manage to get drunk in the thirty minutes since your shift ended?”
A lazy smile flittered across Kash’s face. “Lift the tumbler, chuck it down. Eaaaaasy.”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
He shook his head. “No, you wanna fight. And you’re hot when…” He hiccupped and then giggled. “Hot when you’re angry. Can’t have that ‘cause want you then.” He brushed his fingertips across the coffee table. “’S dirty,” he commented.
I knelt in front of him and grabbed his hand, trying to make sure I’d understood him correctly. “You got drunk because what? I’m tempting when I’m angry?”
Kash’s expression softened. “Alwaysss tempting,” he whispered. “Always. But hot when you’re angry. Like earlier…”
He leaned back, staring at the ceiling while I watched his Adam’s apple bob.
“Having you here drunk is useless,” I decided and pushed to my feet. “Stretch out and sleep it off.”
He grabbed my hand when I went to go, and I looked down at him. “You sssaid to come. I didn’t want to.”
I glared at him. “I figured you’d show up sober, responsible, the way you usually are,” I snapped, furious because letting my anger out now would be useless. He most likely not remember anything the next morning, and making him go wouldn’t be a smart idea.
I was stuck with a drunk and vulnerable Kash, saying things that made my heart melt and break at the same time.
“Always am, aren’t I?” he asked, more talking to himself than me.
“God, I cannot handle this.”
Faster than I’d thought possible in his state he got to his feet, towering over me, cupping my cheek. “I had to punch him, Ba— Alec,” he stated, his voice rough. “I’m sorry.”
“Call me Baby Boy,” I pleaded, but he instantly shook his head.
“You don’t like that. I remember. Most of the time.” I felt his knuckles brush across my cheeks, felt the way one hand went lower, his cold rings pressing into my skin as he cupped my throat, forcing my chin up with his thumb. “I didn’t… I don’t care if he is your father. I won’t… I cannot…” He shook his head and I wrapped my fingers around the wrist of the hand holding my throat, but I didn’t push it away. This felt possessive and, as furious as I was with him, I wanted him to possess me.
Hell, I was his no matter what we’d been trying to tell ourselves. I stepped in closer, pushing against his palm, swallowing. “I don’t care what he says or does, Kash. Swear to me that you’ll never punch him again.”
There we were, having that talk after all. I knew better, and yet he was the one who’d started the topic. He flinched, just like he had earlier, and I felt that he wanted to drop his hand, but I held it in place.
“Promise me,” I urged.
He shook his head. “Can’t. I will not allow anyone to talk badly about you, Alec. Never, even if we aren’t an item. Even if you fall in love someday. I’ll protect you. Always.”
His words were soft, melting together with the alcohol, yet everything he said was crystal clear to me.
“I don’t care what he says about me, Kash. I do not want you to get in trouble because of him, because of that asshole. I need you out of prison, and him away from me, not the other way around. You hear me?”
His eyes widened. “You… You aren’t mad I beat him because he’s your father?”
I shook my head, surprised that he even could think that. “He put you behind bars, Kash. Maybe get you a trial. I cannot and will not accept that. Not one bit. So promise me.”
He leaned in, his whiskey breath washing across my lips. “Promise.”
I’d longed for him to kiss me, longed for him to be gentle with me, but not when he was this intoxicated.
Finally, I stepped back, missing his grip on me, and he sat, his elbows resting on his jeans, his rings making clicking noises as he rubbed his hands together. “He… He s-said I raped you. Said you’d be… You’d be… a minor. I couldn’t… I couldn’t stop thinking about the way you’d sucked me off, so sure of yourself. It’s one of my best memories, and then he drops that bomb on me…”
It clicked then, and I nearly dropped to my knees. It had been the first thing he’d asked after getting out of the hospital. He’d wanted to see my ID, hadn’t protested us not being together.
He hadn’t changed his mind about us because he’d realized I was too young for him after all, but because he thought being with me would make him go to prison. I stumbled forward, dropping down next to him on the sofa.
“Kash…” I cupped his cheek when he didn’t look at me, made sure he met my eyes.
“No, Alec. I know you’re not a minor… You aren’t, right?”
I swallowed, glad I didn’t have to lie to him. “No, I’m not. Still nineteen, and
I’ll show you everything you need to prove it, okay? But for now…Don’t beat yourself up any more, okay? Sucking you off is one of my best memories, too.”
And I wanted a repeat but, as much as I knew he was going to give in if I pushed now, I didn’t know where we’d go from here, and that scared me more than I was willing to admit.
Because the one thing I knew for sure? I wanted Kash in my life, no matter what.
KASH
I knew I shouldn’t have come. My mind was swimming with the alcohol and every little bit that was Alec. The way he looked at me, watched me…
I wanted to devour him, but maybe this little escapade had shown us what we’d known all along. After all, both of us had, at different times, insisted that we shouldn’t be together.
Why in the world couldn’t I stand the thought of him being with someone else?
“Kash,” he whispered, and I closed my eyes. My mind was pleasantly mellow, ready to curl into Alec and let him hold me for the night while my body craved him in every way possible. Maybe I shouldn’t have downed as much whiskey as I had. Nash had pointed out just that, but even with our new-found friendship I didn’t give his opinion much weight.
Do you realize you love him, Kash? And not just a little? This is all in for you. I’ve never felt it, but I’ve seen it…
Nash’s words bounced around in my head over and over and I hated him for having put them there. The four-lettered word I refused to acknowledge or accept echoed around in my head, even when Alec was speaking, and was everything I heard when looking at him.
It didn’t matter how much I was mentally protesting, or how much I denied it.
It was present and persistent, annoying and adamant.
“Kash,” Alec repeated, and I finally met his eyes. He was hazy, as if I was dreaming, and maybe I was.