Aggie noticed that the woman looked ready to work. She wore an old hand painted t-shirt that said, “East or West, our mom’s best” and bleach stained jeans. “My name is Iris Landry. It’s nice to meet you.” The slightly plump woman extended her hand to Aggie.
“Hello, Mrs. Landry, I’m Aggie. As you can see…” she gave the rooms an embarrassed glance.
“Now, never mind, Aggie, I’ll get this place ship-shape in no time.” Mrs. Landry smiled at the younger woman. “Where are the other children? I thought Zeke said I would be looking after three?” She smiled at Ian. “Is this Ian? Zeke is taken with him.”
“The twins, Cari and Lorna, are hiding upstairs. They’re being the epitome of “terrible three” right now. I can’t get them to obey me at all since I’ve been laid up. They just do their own thing, knowing I can’t stop them.” Aggie sounded even more defeated than she looked. “Only three months, and I’m already a failure as a mother. Oh, and don’t ask which is which. I can only tell when one of them does something especially naughty. Then I know it’s probably Cari.”
Mrs. Landry laughed and suggested that she bring the twins downstairs for the morning. “I’ll have enough to do down here without worrying about what they are into upstairs.”
Aggie tried to stand and hobble over to the stairs when she heard the woman laughing above her. “Aggie,” Mrs. Landry called downstairs. “Aggie, I have to show you this. You won’t believe me unless you see it.”
Iris held Bonaparte up for Aggie to see as she carried the rat to where the “invalid” stood, staring at the sight in disbelief. She sat on the stairs, collapsed in helpless laughter, and her guffaws brought the twins running to the top of the stairs. Aggie held Bonaparte and tried not to drop him between bursts of giggles. The poor rat had a pink, butterfly, snap-style barrette pinned to the bottom of his tail. “This is one of those times I wish I had a camcorder on. This would be perfect for that ridiculous show on TV where they show you blooper clips from home movies.”
Mrs. Landry picked up the rat, and as she carried him back to his cage, she removed the little clip. The poor critter seemed relieved, and it was obvious to the woman that he had been in some pain from the experience. Looking at the rest of the upstairs, Iris tried not to chuckle. The girls were watching her warily. They weren’t exactly sure how to react to an adult being upstairs again.
“Ok, girls. We’re going to go downstairs now, so let’s gather a few books and some toys for you to play with down there.” Mrs. Landry’s tone was confident and matter-of-fact. Aggie cringed as she heard the little girls arguing and becoming a little petulant. Mrs. Landry didn’t seem to hear them. She simply gathered what she decided to let them play with and herded the girls toward the stairs.
Aggie hobbled back to the recliner next to the couch and put her feet up. She considered offering to read to the girls but realized that this was a chance to watch someone else interact with the children. Maybe she could learn something from Iris. Aggie hoped that the woman wouldn’t mind being under close scrutiny.
“All right, girls. This is how things are going to be. You will stay downstairs. Do you understand? I can’t be running upstairs to check on you while I’m trying to clean up, so you have to be down here. Do you understand?”
Iris Landry sounded more confident than she felt. She wasn’t sure how the children would react to a stranger telling them what to do. She wasn’t left wondering for long. Cari piped up with an, “I don’t want to,” the minute Iris was finished speaking. However, Lorna was hesitant. She looked at Aggie, then at Mrs. Landry, over to Cari, and then back at Aggie again.
Trusting Aggie’s instincts on which child would defy, Iris replied calmly, “Well now, Cari, I don’t think I asked what you wanted to do. This is what we are going to do. Now you can be pleasant about it-- you can have fun with your sister and baby brother-- or you can sit in his playpen all by yourself, but you will stay downstairs.”
Cari seemed ready to do battle but surprisingly picked a book out of the laundry basket of toys and books. Settling as far away from everyone as she could, Cari acted like she was reading intently. Lorna seemed at a loss. Finally, Lorna sat next to the baby playing on the floor and began trying to engage him in a game of peek-a-boo.
Satisfied that things were working smoothly, Iris went to her car to get her caddy of cleaning supplies. Walking back into the house, she saw Cari scrambling up the stairs. Aggie sat in the recliner with eyes shut, apparently napping. Mrs. Landry didn’t want to wake the young woman but knew that the line had been drawn, and Cari fully intended to determine who controlled the territory. She set her caddy of supplies down and walked swiftly to the stairs. When Cari saw that she’d been discovered, she tried to climb more quickly.
Aggie woke from her short nap as Cari’s screams pierced the air. Opening her eyes just in time, she saw Iris scoop the girl up and carry her back down the stairs. Sighing, Aggie telegraphed her apology to Mrs. Landry, but the woman shook her head. Aggie expected to see a stern disapproving look on Iris’ face as she spoke to the disobedient girl but was surprised to see her smiling.
Without a trace of sarcasm, and with that same smile on her face, Mrs. Landry deposited Cari in the playpen saying, “Well, it seems like you prefer to stay in here. That’s fine with me.” The woman didn’t miss a beat. Picking up trash around the room, the sharp woman kept a close eye on Cari’s movements. The second the girl rose to escape, Mrs. Landry would quickly sit her back down in the pen.
After the fourth or fifth return to sitting position, Mrs. Landry sweetly remarked, “When you think you can sit here like you’re told, I’ll be happy to let you sit on the couch for a while.”
Cari’s face clouded over. “I don’t want to sit on the couch. I want to go play.”
“Oh, you do? Now, that is funny. I thought you wanted to sit in the playpen. You act like you want to sit in the playpen.” Mrs. Landry had the room cleared of all trash and dirty plates and was working on watering and dusting the plants.
“I want out!” Cari was angry. Aggie was certain that the child would lose it completely. “I want out, now, now, now!”
“Well, Cari, it’s pretty simple. If you want out, you have to act like you want out. That’s all it takes. Right now, you are acting like you want to be in.”
Aggie was extremely impressed. By that point, she would have sent the girl off to play, with admonitions to behave now and enough p-mail requests in that department to overload the Lord’s inbox. This woman wasn’t angry and didn’t act stern or foreboding; she simply smiled and waited for the child to be obedient. This was different anyway. She wondered how it would work.
In no time, the room looked presentable again. The furniture shone, and the room smelled clean and seemed bright as the morning sunlight shone through the south and east windows. Iris opened the windows and fresh air blew through the sheers, causing them to billow gently around the sills. Ian started crying when the vacuum started up, but Aggie was able to comfort him before he became too distraught. She watched Cari as Iris helped Lorna move the vacuum back and forth across the floor. Lorna was having the time of her life making the carpet fluff up in neat little rows. Cari quite obviously wanted in on this new “game.”
Aggie was certain that Cari would demand a chance to try but was surprised when the child sat down with her legs crossed and folded her hands in her lap. The scene was almost comical. Cari clearly wanted to be noticed, but Iris was just as clearly not noticing her. It was readily apparent that Iris knew exactly what Cari was doing but was not jumping to free her captive. When the room was finished, Mrs. Landry turned the vacuum off and stowed it in the next room.
“Cari! You look like you want out of the pen! I think you’re ready to sit on the couch now.” Without another word, Mrs. Landry sat Cari on the couch and placed a stack of books beside her. “I’ll check on you in a minute, but Lorna and I are going to work in the living room now. Come along, Lorna, and I’ll show you how to polish a table.
It’s really fun to do. If you do your very best job, you should be able to see yourself in the table.”
Aggie barely stifled a giggle. Cari’s despondent face was comical. She wanted so badly to join them and knew the only chance she had was to do as she was told. She waited for one of the child’s characteristic outbursts, but Cari exhibited admirable self-control. Several minutes after she would have sent the child off to play, Iris came back into the room. “Cari, would you like to try to polish the other table? Lorna did a great job! I bet you can do it too!”
Eagerly, Cari jumped off the couch and ran to catch the older woman’s hand and join her. Aggie barely heard Cari’s “I’m sowwy. I’ll be nice now.”
Picking up Ian, she patted his hands together as she recited patty-cake. The baby’s hearty chuckles filled the room as she helped him “roooollll it up and throw it in the pan.” Once finished with another round, and a few tugs to his “piggies,” the little tyke dropped a sleepy head to Aggie’s chest and popped his thumb into his mouth. Seconds later, she saw his eyes growing droopy. Covering his ear with her hand, she called to Mrs. Landry for help in putting him down for his nap and hoped that Cari wouldn’t see the occupation of the playpen as license to return to her defiant behavior.
When the older children arrive home, Aggie lined them up “Sound of Music style” and introduced them. “This is Vannie… she’s twelve. Next is Laird who is ten--”
“And a half, Aunt Aggie!”
“And a half,” she agreed before continuing. Elspeth and Tavish are eight, and little Miss Kenzie is five.”
“Well, it’s nice to meet everyone. I think I’ve got your names down… Vannie, Laird, Elspeth--”
“You can call me Ellie. Everyone else does.”
“Ellie, Tavish, and Kenzie.”
“My real name is MacKenzie, but everyone just calls me Kenzie,” the little russet-haired girl explained.
A hot meal was in the oven, the downstairs shone, and the twins napped on the family room floor. The tired housekeeper/nanny pulled Vannie aside as she left and said, “I see the girls have been busy upstairs.”
Vannie nodded slowly. “I didn’t tell Aunt Aggie. I didn’t know how. If I tell her, it’s like I’m tattling, and it’s not like she can stop them. I tried to clean it up but…”
“I know, sweetie. I’ll take care of it tomorrow, and I’ll tell your aunt. She won’t blame you, though. I want you to know that.” Mrs. Landry smiled at the young girl.
“I’ve tried, but the children don’t mind me anymore.” Vannie was obviously trying to bear more of the burden of the family than Aggie intended.
“Well, what I think your aunt needs right now is help getting the food on the table and the children washed up and in bed. I can handle the rest. Don’t worry about the girls. They’re just testing the waters.” Mrs. Landry turned to leave but came back. “And don’t let those little ones sleep too much longer. They need to sleep tonight too.”
Friday, May 10th
Iris Landry surveyed the damage. Up and down the upstairs hallway were flowers, smiley faces, and many undistinguishable objects. It appeared that the twins had used wet toilet paper to decorate the hallway with pictures made of sodden balls of the stuff. Someone, Vannie most likely, had tried to pull them off of the walls in places, but the result was even worse. The wallpaper in the upstairs hallway was old. It appeared new, but it was definitely vintage paper. With each ball removed from the wall, huge portions of paper were torn away as well.
In between the pictures, sometimes almost in a dot-to-dot pattern, were drawings created with some kind of cosmetics. Cari and Lorna stood nearby, looking up at her as she surveyed the damage. “Well, girls, it appears that you were being awfully creative while your aunt was downstairs, weren’t you?”
Cari grinned. “It was fun! We made pictures. Like wallpaper!”
Mrs. Landry smiled. “I am kind of curious, girls; would you have made these pictures if your aunt could walk?”
Lorna began sobbing. “I am sorry. I am sorry.”
Cari looked at Lorna as if she were a traitor. “I am not sowwy. It’s pwetty!”
Iris Landry looked at the two girls. They were a study in opposites. Lorna looked dejected and forlorn, while Cari was determined to be right. Mrs. Landry looked upward as she petitioned for help. The sight almost pushed her over the edge. The ceiling was completely covered in toilet paper wads. It looked like a seventies style cottage cheese ceiling gone wrong.
Aggie saw her “helper” dashing down the stairs like something was chasing her. “Aggie, do you have a camera, camcorder-- anything? I have got to show you this. You will not believe it unless you see it. This is too funny.”
Aggie’s reaction alternated between tears and giggles. She knew exactly when the girls had enjoyed their TP spree. The splats were quite audible, and the girls had giggled with glee for quite a long time. Soon, the utter destruction of the hallway was obvious to her, though.
“My sister searched every online vintage wallpaper site she could find. She poured through page after page of paper on eBay. The woman was almost obsessed with matching the original wallpaper. Now look at it.” Aggie sighed.
“Well, Aggie, she put a basketball hoop over the hamper right through the wallpaper. I doubt she’d be that upset about this. Ingenious idea too! I wish I had thought of that. My kids would have loved to make sock baskets!”
Aggie blushed. “I did that. I was walking through the house one day after a rough early morning with Jr. Muffin and lost it. I had that basketball net up and the screwdriver put who-knows-where before I knew what hit me.”
“Well, it’s obvious that you have the mind of a mother! I am quite impressed. I will have to take all the paper off of the walls. With the lipstick and eyeliner pencils… it’s gone. I can’t even try to salvage any of it. Sorry.”
“Well, it’ll just be one more thing that Mrs. Stuart can be mad at me about. It’ll do her good.” Aggie’s grimace belied her words.
Aggie says: Tina, you won’t believe THIS.
Tina says: Well… so tell me.
Aggie says: Well I forgot to call for help around here until Wed. Monday and Tuesday were ridiculous! The girls…
Tina says: Cari and Ethel? Er… I mean Lorna?
Aggie says: You know those old acoustic ceilings that look like they are leaking cottage cheese?
Tina says: Dare I ask?
Aggie says: Well, the girls decided to texture the ceiling in the upstairs hallway. Iris Landry video recorded the entire thing. It was amazing. LARGE CURD though. It was very LARGE curd…
Tina says: And the medium used?
Aggie says: Ummmmm how does wet, wadded…
Tina says: SPILL IT GIRL!
Aggie says: TOILET PAPER sound to you???
Tina says: NO WAY!
Aggie says: WAY! The wallpaper upstairs is ruined. Sigh.
Tina says: So is this woman helping at all-- besides discovering the ruined hallway?
Aggie says: And the decorated rats…
Tina says: Ohhh, this I gotta hear!
Aggie says: Well… it seems that Cari was a bit incensed to find that both rats were boys, so she put one of those plastic bendy kindergarten hair barrette things on their tails!
Tina says: Are you sending these into Readers Digest? Maybe they’ll hire you as the new Erma Bombeck.
Aggie says: Oh, and this woman is incredible! Cari pitched one of her stubborn fits and the gal never broke a sweat. She smiled the entire time that she kept Cari exactly where she wanted her. I think Cari is secretly happy not to be in control anymore.
Tina says: Have you asked her secret???
Aggie says: Not yet but I intend to! I am going to figure out how she knows EXACTLY what to do. Kenzie was sassing her yesterday and the woman marched her upstairs and shut her in my room. Told her that when she could speak respectfully she could come out. Cari would have been in there for HOURS but Kenzie stayed maybe three minutes max before coming out a
nd apologizing.
Tina says: WOW!
Aggie says: How do I know which to use when? This is what I want to ask!!!
Tina says: Well, I’m sending you a meal card system that I made with Celia Mullins.
Aggie says: Celia?
Tina says: If your name ended up being Priscilla Mullins… of Longfellow fame, would YOU go by Priscilla?
Aggie says: Point taken. Well, according to Mrs. Landry, she will have the upstairs cleaned up by tomorrow.
Tina says: HOW! With those three mess makers, how can she get so much DONE!?
Aggie says: Well, it appears that she puts the girls to work with her…and they LIKE it!
Tina says: I want to sit at this woman’s feet!
Aggie says: Me too… uh oh… Ian just bonked his head again. He’s pulling up on everything, and it’s just awful! Everyone says it’s too early, but he’s doing it so early or not, here I come. I better go.
Tina says: Keep me up on the latest!
Aggie says: Poof!
Tina says: Poof de de poof poof!
Chapter 9
Lessons & Plans
Saturday, May 11th
Aggie gave work orders to the children and had everyone working on them by the time Mrs. Landry appeared. All of their bedding was on the floor in front of the washer, and their rooms were devoid of trash. As they gathered dirty clothes, Aggie’s voice rang out through the upper floors telling them to put clean clothes away and not back into the laundry.
“Mrs. Landry…”
The smiling woman interrupted her. “Please call me Iris. I feel like we are becoming good friends, and my friends don’t call me Mrs.”
“Iris it is, thank you. I need all the help I can get, and after watching how you interact with the children for the last two days, and seeing how you have managed to make these children mind--” she stumbled over the right word, “cheerfully, I want to know your secrets. Teach me, oh wise one!”
Ready or Not (Aggie's Inheritance) Page 12