by Joan Holub
An ice-skating rink? Medusa was crazy if she thought this was a normal office! Music blared from speakers, and a rotating mirrored ball hung from the ceiling at the center of the rink. The multifaceted ball reflected the light and sent sparkling rays of it spinning crazily around the room.
Pheme stood like a deer caught in torchlights as the three haystack lumps zoomed toward her across the rink’s icy surface. There was a small haystack, a tall one, and a medium-size one that was about Pheme’s height.
The tall-lump lady broke away from the other two and extended a hay-covered hand to Pheme. A single large tooth flashed white in her face as she smiled. “Grab on!” she yelled.
Pheme did as instructed, and was immediately pulled farther onto the ice. She glanced down at her sandals and saw they’d been magically transformed into skates. But she didn’t know how to skate! Still the lady somehow kept her going as they whipped around the rink, hay-covered hand in goddessgirl hand.
“Pass me the eye, Sister!” Pheme’s tall-lump partner called out suddenly.
The medium-size lump caught up to them. As if they were in a relay race, she handed off a round white eyeball instead of a baton to the tall lump. Eew! The eyeball made a squishy sound as the tall-lump lady popped it into her face. Double eew!
So these were the Gray Ladies, Pheme thought as she struggled to keep pace with her partner. Their gray tangled haystack hair was so long, it brushed the ice as they whirled and twirled. Did they have legs under there? Who knew? And how did the other two manage to skate without falling as long as Pheme’s partner possessed the only eyeball in sight?
Pheme couldn’t wait to get back to MOA so she could tell everyone about these oddball-eyeball counselors. But wait, she thought. Because of Athena’s anti-gossip spell, she wouldn’t be able to until tomorrow. Besides, did she really want to remind everyone that she’d been to the counselors’ office?
While she’d been thinking, the eyeball’s big gray iris had been peering at her intently. “When in doubt, don’t shout it out,” the tall Gray Lady advised.
Surprised, Pheme slipped on the ice and nearly fell. Had the counselor read her mind? she wondered as she regained her balance.
Now the tall Gray Lady plucked the tooth from her face and passed it to the medium-size Gray Lady, who stuck it on her own face. So Medusa hadn’t been kidding about the shared tooth—it was just as portable as the eye!
As soon as the tooth was in place, the medium Gray Lady was able to speak. “The eye, too, Sister. So I can see her!” Instantly the tall one popped out the eyeball and tossed it back to her sister. Pheme slid on past the medium-size Gray Lady as she popped it in.
Catching up to Pheme easily, the medium Gray Lady skated backward to face her. “Where are your wings, dearie?” she asked as they skated on.
“Wings?” Pheme repeated. “I don’t have any.”
The eyeball blinked. Medium-lump lady stared at Pheme for a few moments, looking confused. Then she said, “Base your decisions on the greater good.” Having uttered this piece of advice, she quickly handed off the tooth and the eye to the small Gray Lady, who whizzed by just then.
Squish! Small-lump lady popped in the eyeball. Click! She shoved in the tooth. Then she circled around to Pheme and skated smoothly beside her as the other two counselors dropped back to perform twirls, jumps, and figure eights.
The small Gray Lady sucked on the tooth as she gazed at Pheme. At last she said, “Accept your imperfections.”
“You mean like not having wings?” Pheme asked.
But it seemed the small lady had no intention of explaining. All she said was, “You’ll understand when the time is right. Just remember what we’ve told you and all will be well.”
Taking Pheme’s arm, she picked up speed, whizzing her around and around the rink. Then she released Pheme, sending her zooming full speed toward the exit door. “You may go now!” the small lady called after her.
Pheme cringed. She was hurtling toward the door with no way to stop herself. She was going to crash into it!
But when she was only a few feet away, the door magically swung open on its own. Startled, she slid all the way out to the waiting room, her arms spinning wildly. Medusa squeaked in surprise as Pheme landed in her lap, knocking the scrollazine she’d been reading out of her hands.
“Sorry about that,” Pheme said breathlessly. “Slipped on the ice. Couldn’t stop.”
“Ice?” said Medusa, looking puzzled. “What ice?”
“You know,” said Pheme, hopping up. “The skating rink in the Gray Ladies’ office?” She pointed toward her skates, but they’d already transformed back to sandals again.
“Oh, I get it,” said Medusa. “It’s Athena’s spell, right? You’re speaking nonsense again.”
As they left the igloo and headed back outside, Pheme tried to convince Medusa about the skating rink. But Medusa claimed it really had been a normal office when she’d visited.
“Maybe everyone who visits sees it differently,” Pheme suggested.
“Could be,” Medusa conceded. “Maybe the Gray Ladies magically change it for every student who comes here. To distract us so we’ll keep our guards down and listen to their advice.”
“Yeah, maybe,” said Pheme. “Well, it was weird, that’s for sure. I mean, I would’ve thought school counselors would discuss things with you before they offered advice. Those ladies were not at all what I expected. They’re—” Pheme started to say. But then a tickle came into her throat, and a few duck quacks slipped out.
“Strange? Messy? Eyeball-limited? Dentally challenged?” Medusa supplied smoothly when Pheme couldn’t continue.
Pheme laughed. “All of the above.” Although, she did kind of think they were quacks, too, come to think of it. Their advice had not been at all helpful, in her opinion.
“Let me guess,” Medusa went on. “They didn’t ask you anything about school or your problems, right?”
“Exactly.”
“Same here. I’ve decided they somehow already know all that stuff before they summon us to their office.”
Pheme nodded. “Maybe you’re right.”
“And you might be surprised,” Medusa added mysteriously. “Their advice could turn out to be more helpful than you expect.” It was as if she’d guessed what Pheme had been thinking before!
As they flew back over the dark ocean, a silence fell between the two girls.
Pheme was starting to understand why most students didn’t talk about their visits to the counselors. If she tried to explain how crazy that place was to someone who’d never been there, they probably wouldn’t believe her! And she really didn’t want to talk about the weird advice she’d gotten—to Medusa or anyone else.
Eventually the girls started chatting about other things, including boys. Medusa talked about Dionysus—he was her crush. In fact, she did most of the talking, since Pheme couldn’t gossip.
“Dionysus says that Eros likes you,” Medusa announced when they were nearing MOA again.
“What?” Pheme exclaimed. Though she’d already been starting to wonder if Eros might like her, it was kind of shocking to have Medusa come right out and say it. “Why do you think he said that?”
Medusa snorted. “Eros chose you to accompany him down the aisle at Zeus and Hera’s wedding, didn’t he?”
“Only by chance,” Pheme said. “His arrow hit my name, but it could just as easily have hit another.”
“Ha!” said Medusa. “Dionysus told me that Eros aimed for the slip of papyrus with your name on it.”
“Oh!” Now that Pheme thought about it, that kind of made sense. Eros was a crack shot as an archer. He could have hit any name he’d wanted to. Even from fifty paces. Was he really crushing on her? She wasn’t sure she had time for a crush. She was too busy.
As they neared the Academy, Pheme noticed that Artemis’s chariot and deer were gone again. That wasn’t alarming, though. Artemis had said she had an archery competition down on Earth after lunch to
day. So she must’ve taken her chariot herself.
“It’s almost fifth period,” said Medusa. Pheme glanced at the sundial in the courtyard and saw she was right. They’d missed two class periods plus lunch. The girls said quick good-byes as they changed out of their winged sandals. Since Medusa’s next class was by the Beauty-ology classroom, she took both cloaks to drop them off.
Pheme stopped by her locker before racing to Revenge-ology. Since she’d ditched yesterday to help Phaeton enroll, she dared not be late today. Ms. Nemesis was mega-strict about skipping and tardiness—and pretty much everything else.
Pheme had a ready supply of re-admittance slips she’d snitched from Ms. Hydra’s wastebasket, though. If Ms. Nemesis gave Pheme any grief, she’d just zip upstairs and grab one.
Aphrodite and Eros were chatting just outside the classroom door up ahead. “I’m surprised you’re here,” Aphrodite was saying to him. “I thought you’d be at the archery competition with Artemis and Apollo.”
“Only the top two archers were invited. They both beat me out,” Eros told her good-naturedly. Just then someone in the classroom called to Aphrodite. As she went inside the room, Eros noticed Pheme.
Smiling at her, he then nodded toward her hair. “Interesting hair thingie.”
“Huh?” said Pheme. She reached up and felt her hair. “Oh, yeah. Thanks. We made them in Beauty-ology.” She’d forgotten about that silly chariot-doodle flower ornament. She was surprised that it hadn’t blown away during her and Medusa’s trip. If only. She slipped it from her hair and tucked it into the pocket of her chiton.
Eros was looking at her curiously now. “Didn’t see you at lunch.”
Pheme thought about lying about where she’d been, but plenty of people knew already. Feeling a bit embarrassed, she said, “I went to see the Gray Ladies.”
Eros’s brows rose. “Cool.”
“Freezing, actually,” Pheme corrected him. “They’re way far north.”
“Ha!” Eros laughed. “Good one.”
Oh, thought Pheme, he’d meant the other kind of “cool.” Well, she liked that he thought she’d meant to be funny. And she also liked that he didn’t think a visit to the counselors was any big deal. Had he been there himself? she wondered.
Before she could ask, he said, “Didn’t see your friend Phaeton at lunch either, so I thought—” He broke off and rammed his hands into the pockets of his tunic.
Her friend Phaeton? She barely knew that boy!
“Heracles is sort of worried about him,” Eros added quickly.
“Why?” asked Pheme, going on alert.
Eros frowned, rushing an explanation as the lyrebell began to sound. “Because Phaeton kept saying at lunch how he was going to prove Helios was his dad. Said he had figured out a way to get to his palace and was planning to go. And when I saw Heracles in the hall a minute ago, he said Phaeton hadn’t shown for fourth-period Revenge-ology.”
A feeling of foreboding settled over Pheme as she and Eros headed into the classroom. “Do you by any chance know if Apollo and Artemis drove her chariot to their archery competition?” she asked, trying to sound casual.
“The competition isn’t far, only halfway down Mount Olympus. So they went by winged sandal,” he said as they took seats across from each other.
Pheme instantly imagined the worst. Foolhardy Phaeton must have flown off in Artemis’s chariot to search for Helios. Was he crazy? He could get himself fried to a crisp!
Suddenly Pheme remembered something Phaeton had told her about Helios and his chariot. Phaeton had said: “When I finally meet him, I’m going to get him to let me drive it!”
“Ye gods!” she exclaimed.
“What’s the matter?” Eros asked as she jumped from her desk.
“I just remembered something I need to do,” she mumbled hastily. Understatement! She had to stop Phaeton, because he was headed for disaster. “Tell Ms. Nemesis I have to miss class again today,” she added. Then she scooted out the door, leaving Eros gaping after her in surprise.
Her thoughts kept pace with her feet as she scurried down the hall. Surely Helios wouldn’t allow an inexperienced driver like Phaeton to carry the sun across the sky in his golden chariot.
That would be waaay too dangerous. If the chariot went out of control, it could crash. Then the Earth would catch fire. And the sun’s light, upon which all life on Earth was dependent, would burn itself out!
But if Helios refused Phaeton’s request, that boy might just “borrow” the sun god’s chariot without permission. He’d taken Artemis’s, after all—twice!
She needed to tell Zeus her suspicions and fears. This was just the sort of thing he’d want her to report. But as she neared his office, her feet slowed. If he found out she’d sneaked Phaeton into MOA, she’d be in real trouble.
As Pheme wrestled with her thoughts, the advice of the medium Gray Lady popped into her head: “Base your decisions on the greater good.”
Regardless of the consequences to herself, she had to tell Zeus, she realized. For the greater good of the entire Earth. Because if Phaeton got hold of Helios’s chariot, there was no way he’d be able to control those fiery horses!
Fueled by fear Pheme ran down the hall. She burst into the outer office, and blurted: “Hee-haw! Hee-haw!”
All nine of Ms. Hydra’s heads turned to look at her in surprise.
Oh, no! That stupid spell again! The welfare of the entire planet, not to mention MOA, was at stake. But she couldn’t form the words to warn anyone. What was she going to do?
10
A Journey
PHEME RAN PAST MS. HYDRA TO PRINCIPAL ZEUS’S office door and knocked.
“Principal Zeus is out just now. I’m not really sure when he’ll be back. Is there anything I can do to help you?” Ms. Hydra’s blue head asked. This head was her sympathetic one.
“Remember that new boy I was here with yesterday?” Pheme asked.
The blue head looked at her blankly.
“I do,” Ms. Hydra’s grumpy green head put in. “The one none of us recalled enrolling.”
“Yes, well . . .” Pheme didn’t really want to open up that can of worms.
Desperate, she decided her only option was to leave Zeus a message. So as poor as they were, she’d just have to rely on her doodling skills to relay her suspicions. She pulled her hair ornament from her pocket, plucked her chariot doodle from it, and then set it on the counter.
“Can I borrow a pen and a sheet of papyrus?” she asked. After Ms. Hydra handed both to her, Pheme clipped the chariot doodle hair-thingie in the middle of the papyrus.
Using the borrowed pen, she added a stick figure of a boy on the papyrus sheet. She put him right next to her chariot doodle, so he looked like he was driving the chariot. Then, a few inches over his head, she drew the sun with lots of rays coming out from it.
Several of Ms. Hydra’s heads watched curiously as she drew. “This is that new boy, Phaeton,” Pheme explained.
She was relieved when her words came out exactly the way she meant them. She’d been afraid Athena’s spell would interpret them as gossip. You just never knew with that spell. When it came to what was gossip and what wasn’t, she often didn’t agree with it. But the spell was the boss right now, so she had to be careful.
Ms. Hydra’s worrywart gray head frowned at the stick figure of Phaeton. “He’s very thin,” it said anxiously. “He should eat more.”
“Poor dogs,” said the blue head. “Why did that boy tie them to the table?”
Pheme gritted her teeth but tried to remain calm. “Those are deer,” she said, pointing. “That’s a chariot.”
“Oh!” the heads that were watching chorused in surprise.
“Could you give this drawing to Zeus the exact second he gets back?” she asked urgently. “Tell him it’s an emergency. Tell him Phaeton . . .” Unfortunately, her next words stuck in her throat and she began to sputter nonsense.
As cloud-words drifted upward, all nine of Ms. Hydra
’s heads swiveled on their long necks to read them.
“‘Jazz onto squeal the fun carry it’?” her grumpy green head read aloud. “Is that supposed to be funny?”
Of course, what Pheme had tried to say was, Tell him Phaeton has gone to steal the sun chariot.
Pheme turned and ran for the door. “Just give Principal Zeus my drawing? Please?” She’d have to hope he’d do a better job of interpreting it than Ms. Hydra’s heads had done.
In the meantime she was going after Phaeton herself. If the entire Earth was destroyed, it would be partly her fault. Because if she’d reported Phaeton as a stowaway right away, he’d never have been able to make all this trouble.
Pheme yanked open the door. And nearly ran into Athena, who was on her way into the office.
“Hi,” said Athena.
“Hi,” Pheme said back. Anxiously she wondered what Athena and Eros, not to mention Zeus, were going to think when they found out what she’d done. Sneaking Phaeton into MOA was probably a terrible offense. Of course, that would be the least of her worries if the whole planet went kablooey!
Athena stepped around Pheme, went to the counter, and handed Ms. Hydra a sheet of papyrus. “Ms. Hecate in Spell-ology asked me to drop off this note.”
Feeling like there was no time to lose, Pheme didn’t wait around. She had to stop Phaeton before he started trouble! She dashed from the office so fast, she didn’t even notice that Athena had begun to study her chariot drawing.
At the front doors of the Academy, Pheme kicked off her sandals. Then she grabbed the same pair of winged sandals she’d shucked off less than twenty minutes before, and headed out the door.
On the granite steps she paused to slip the sandals onto her feet. It was a good thing tomorrow was Saturday. Even in winged sandals it would take a long time to reach Helios’s golden palace. It stood at the eastern end of the Earth!
The wings at her heels began to flap. Whoosh! Soon she was skimming across the courtyard toward the trail that wound down to Earth. Even without stopping to rest, she’d be lucky if she managed to reach Helios’s palace by sunrise tomorrow, she thought as she zipped away from the school. That’s when the sun god’s journey across the sky would begin anew in the east, as it did each day.