by Lee, Dana
“Then I guess I spoke up just in time,” I said. “I wouldn’t want to lose you.”
“We’ll have to figure out all the financial and legal stuff later, but I want you to know that my dad left part of his estate to me. I was saving it to invest in whatever new career venture I chose. It’s not a fortune, but I think it would be enough to help us with the lease until we can really get things going.”
“I can’t thank you enough for that offer,” I said, giving her a hug. “And, partner, I may just take you up on it.”
We spent the rest of time before the store opened talking about options and ideas. Levi had been absolutely right. Jess had some wonderful ideas. She loved the Wall of Heroes concept and added the notion that there should be a lot of mirrors on the wall, at different heights “so that everyone who looks at the wall will see that he or she is a hero, too!” I was already feeling relieved to have someone who would share not just my worries, but my hopes and dreams for the store. Why had I waited so long?
“So now that we’re partners, what about that other ‘pod’ner’ of yours,” Jess asked. She gave “pod’ner” her idea of a Texas accent.
“Meaning?” I asked. I knew exactly what she meant, but I wasn’t going to admit it immediately.
“Meaning you know exactly who!” she said. “Mr. Gorgeous McCrory.”
“Actually it was his idea to get you more involved at The Finish Line,” I said.
“Smart man!” Jess said. “But I’m more interested in what’s happening with the two of you. Are you an item? Shall I call all those gossip columnists who count on me for their inside information?”
“How about if we hold off on the phone calls for a while,” I said.
“But? Geez, trying to get information out of you is like squeezing—”
“Blood out of a turnip?” I asked.
“Actually, I was going to say ‘saltwater out of a Saucony’ now that I’m a running shoe store partner and all. But you get the idea.”
“Well, the fact of the matter is… that I have no idea what the fact of the matter is.”
“So he hasn’t Said Anything?” I could hear the capital letters in her voice.
“No, and after what happened with Patrick, I’m not about to make the first move,” I said.
“But you think you’re in love?” she asked, still trying to pin me down.
“Wow, girlfriend, you don’t mess around with your questions,” I said.
Jess looked at her watch in pretend exasperation. “That’s more than can be said about your answers, my dear.”
“Okay, I really, really like him. I think he really, really likes me. But he’ll only be in town for another few days and neither of us has said anything about what will happen when he moves on. I’m just a girl who’s trying to hang on to that brass ring you said I should grab.” I tried to make that sound carefree and frivolous as if to say, hey, here I am living for the moment and having a great time.
Jess saw right through me. “So, madly in love, then?” she asked.
I sighed. “What’s more madly than madly?”
“Wildly? Utterly? Completely? Shall I go on?”
“Nope,” I said, “that pretty much covers it.” I saw that a coupIe of customers had come in. Phew! I could end this discussion and shift back into sales mode. “But enough about my love life! Better get back to work.”
As I walked toward the customer nearest me, I thought, “I guess that’s what makes for a perfect partner: the ability to get you to admit something you wouldn’t even admit to yourself.”
But what about Levi? I could tell he enjoyed my company, and I thought he had been as lost in our lovemaking as I was. He was wonderful to talk with, as free and easygoing as a horseback ride in the autumn air. Except when he wasn’t, when he seemed to be avoiding something. I didn’t know what to make of those times.
# # # # #
You pretty much could have knocked me over with a shoelace when Ally walked into the store after lunch.
“I thought I’d save you the trouble of checking up on me today,” she said. Her tone told me she was none too happy about living by someone else’s rules.
I tried my best to ignore that. “Good to see you,” I said, and leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek. I could feel her pull away so I ended up doing one of those air kisses celebrities do when they don’t want to smear each other’s makeup. “And you came at just the right moment. I could really use some help in the stockroom.”
“Wow, that’s my idea of a good time,” she said. “I think I’ll pass for today. This visit is just to show you I’m abiding by the new laws.”
I still tried to keep things cordial. “Great. Glad to see we’ve worked things out.”
“Basically, Kitty, I’m feeling like you’ve put me on a pretty short leash. Don’t expect me to be happy about it.”
“I’ll call you later,” I said, “after we close.”
“Whatever,” she said. And with that, she turned and left.
Okay, so we weren’t exactly on track to being good friends again. But at least she had checked in with me today and that was a start. Slow and steady, I reminded myself.
I went back to the stockroom to put away a stack of shoes, wishing I had been able to persuade Ally to give me a hand. Yes, I could have used some help, but mindless work often leads to conversation, and it might have been an opportunity for us to chat the way we used to.
I was just finishing up when I thought I heard music. I couldn’t really distinguish the words or the tune from back in the stockroom so my first thought was that Jess had tuned the radio to a country station just to tease me about Levi.
But when I walked out into the front of the store, there he was. Levi was sitting on the couch, playing a song I didn’t recognize. There were only five or six customers in the store but they had gone over to stand nearby and listen. A couple of the women were hugging each other’s elbows, giggling a bit. Wow, an impromptu performance by Levi McCrory! A teenage guy was texting, probably hoping he could get all his friends here before the event was over. Jess and Dan were listening, too, but I could tell they were keeping an eye on the store at the same time. Several people heard the music coming from the store and wandered in to see what was happening.
Levi finished playing the song as I walked over to join the small crowd. I had experienced the Levi McCrory performance magic at his concert, but here in the store where he was close enough to touch, the magic was even stronger. He began playing the opening chords of “A Girl like You.” The people who had gathered around immediately recognized it. I heard a squeal from one of the women. Honestly, I was close to squealing myself.
I hardly breathed while he sang. Everything I wanted to believe about the power of love was in that song. Everything I had felt when Levi held me in his arms, when he kissed me, when made love to me, was mirrored in the lyrics. Love could change everything, could heal you if you were hurt, could fix you if you were broken.
The last time I heard this song, at Levi’s concert, he had played it the way you would normally hear it on the radio with a quick tempo and a rhythm that encouraged hand clapping or foot stomping. But now he sang it almost like a ballad, softly, slowly.
In the concert hall, applause had erupted after the last chords of the song. But here at The Finish Line, there was a hush in the small crowd as Levi strummed the final notes. No one wanted to break the spell.
Then Levi himself broke the spell by drumming a beat on the side of his guitar. I guess if he’d been on stage, his drummer might have started the rhythm for the song. He played a few chords and began singing a song I’d never heard before, all about the magic that happened when a guy asked his girl to dance. He sang about having his arms around the girl, and how dancing with her made him feel that they were traveling to other planets. I couldn’t help thinking of the way I had felt in his arms when we danced to the jazz band at the French restaurant. I’d had that very feeling of flying in outer space.
Then my heart started pounding as I heard the next lines of the song:
I was falling for a girl I never wanted to lose.
I was falling for a girl wearing princess shoes.
Levi sang the chorus twice, and then tapped out the opening rhythm once more. The audience had been growing little by little while he sang and there were twenty or more people clapping along by the time he finished. The audience erupted in cheers when the last chord faded. Clearly he had written another winning song. But all I could think was, “That was me in those princess shoes! That was me dancing with him in the song!” And Levi’s song said he was falling for that girl—me! Did I dare to believe that the song was about me? I thought I knew the answer when his eyes met mine.
And then Levi spoke directly to the audience. He told them that this was a work in progress and that he hadn’t even finished writing the end of the song yet. But he said it would definitely be on his next album, which would be out early next year. The crowd cheered and clapped.
“I’ve got to get back to the casino now for tonight’s concert. I’ve got just three more nights in Connecticut. I’ve made a lot of new friends and I’ve had a great time here, but I guess all good things have to come to an end. Thanks so much for listening to my new song. Y’all were a great audience.” He paused, then said, “Oh, and before you leave this store, be sure to get yourself some running shoes! This is the best running shoe store on the East Coast and you’re lucky to have it in your town!”
His impromptu commercial for the store made me smile. But the words that kept echoing in my mind were “three more nights” and “all good things have to come to an end.” Three nights. Tomorrow it would be two. And when I went to his concert on Saturday night, that would be the last night of his stay in Chester Port. The end.
Whatever I felt, whatever he might feel, the bottom line was that he would move on because the show had to go on. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and I knew Dan was watching me, wondering what this all meant. I walked back to the sales counter, willing myself not to cry.
I heard a couple of people saying, “Encore! Encore!” but Levi just shook his head and put his guitar back in the case. He smiled and shook hands and signed autographs. Gradually most of the people drifted away. One woman who had just bought some running shoes asked if he would sign those, so I handed him a permanent marker. Our hands touched briefly. I wanted his arms around me, wanted his lips on mine, but now, with even a very small crowd around him, he was once again a public figure who couldn’t always indulge in private actions. “Just wanted to stop by and let you know I was thinking about you,” he said under his breath. “Don’t forget about Saturday night.”
As if I could.
“I’ll be there,” I said. And then a customer at my elbow asked me a question about shoes and I had to tend to the business of running a store. I desperately wanted to ask about the song, wanted to hear him tell me that he had written it just for me. But I was measuring the customer’s bare feet as Levi tipped his hat and headed out the door, guitar case in hand.
On my way back to the stockroom, I looked out my front door and saw his limo pull away from the curb.
Chapter 15
In fact, many of the people in the audience did end up trying on shoes, and several people made purchases. Jess, Dan, and I measured and advised and watched runners on the treadmill right up until the time the store closed. I hardly had time to think about Levi’s surprise performance.
When we finally got the last customer out the door, Dan came over to help me straighten up.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
I had no idea.
“Sure,” I said.
“Let me know if you need me to punch this McCrory guy in the nose, will you?”
Seriously?
“Dan, thanks for being protective, but everything’s okay. We’ve been on a couple of dates; after Saturday he’ll be moving on to the next town, end of story.”
The last thing I needed was Dan defending me. I held the door open for him, trying to end this conversation.
“Just remember I’m in your corner,” he said.
I thanked him again and said good-night.
“Whew!” I said to Jess after Dan was out of sight. “One thing I’m pretty sure I don’t need is a guy who’s ready to defend my honor.”
“Even though you’re not sure about too much else?” Jess said.
“I’m sure that something has been going on between Levi and me,” I said, “but I don’t know what. I keep getting the feeling that there’s something he wants to tell me, but hasn’t.”
“And don’t you think having him show up here to give you a personal performance is a pretty clear message?” she asked.
“Yes—no—I don’t know,” I said helplessly. I changed the subject abruptly, more out of self-defense than anything else. I knew Jess and Dan both wanted to protect me, but so far there wasn’t anything to protect me from.
“Hey,” I said to Jess. “How about if I take you out to dinner to celebrate our new partnership?”
“Can we have Italian? I’m in the mood for pasta and some of that great garlic bread they have at Hot Tomatoes.”
“Perfect!” I said. “Let’s go feast!”
# # # # #
Jess and I shared a huge salad and a gigantic platter of linguini with clam sauce and were on our second basket of garlic bread when I heard the Rocky ringtone of my cell phone. It was a number I didn’t recognize, but I answered anyway. I could hardly hear the speaker above the noise of the restaurant. I nearly hung up, figuring it must be a wrong number.
But finally I heard a woman’s voice say, “Miz Ka— Addis—?”
The static and noise made it almost impossible to understand the speaker, but that sounded enough like my name that I said that it was. “Yes.”
There were more words I could barely understand. I heard Ally’s name, “ambulance,” “infirmary”—just enough words to make me panic, not enough to give me concrete information. Heart pounding, I kept repeating, “Hold on for a minute, hold on, hold on,” while I took the phone outside. I asked what had happened, and all I could tell between bursts of static was that she had passed out and had been brought there by ambulance. It took several tries before I managed to get the address.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” I said, hoping the woman understood what I was saying. I was shaking as I hung up.
Jess had paid the bill and was standing beside me. “Ally?” she asked, and I nodded.
She took my arm and steered me toward her car in a space behind The Finish Line. I tried to protest, but she told me I was in no condition to drive anyone anywhere. “I think one Addison sister in the hospital is plenty for the evening,” she said, with her usual mix of concern and sarcasm.
She punched the address I gave her into her GPS and we took off. My imagination was spinning its wheels—Ally had been in a car crash again, she had walked in front of a truck, she was about to be rushed to the nearest hospital.
I had meant to call her earlier, right after we closed the store for the evening. My own plan, which I hadn’t mentioned to Ally, was to check in with her at random times so she’d never be able to count on an exact time when she “had” to be sober. But somehow seeing Levi and then waiting on the extra customers had put that plan out of my mind.
“This was your fault,” a voice inside my head was saying. And then suddenly I was saying it out loud. “This is my fault.”
“Seriously, Kitty?” Jess said. “You can’t keep blaming yourself for what Kitty does to herself.”
“Intellectually, that makes sense,” I said. But emotionally? I was a wreck. Again.
It took all my concentration just to hold myself together.
When we finally reached the infirmary, I was opening the car door before Jess had even pulled the car to a complete stop. I nearly ran up the steps to the entrance.
Thank heaven Jess stayed with me. The student volunteer workin
g the information desk couldn’t tell us anything about Ally’s condition. We were directed to wait in a small private room and told someone would be with us shortly.
I panicked. Wasn’t this what always happened on House when his patient was dying? Didn’t they always get the news in a small room like this one? Jess, bless her, just held my hand and didn’t say anything. She knew I was beyond words anyway.
It seemed like hours before a doctor finally entered. She got right to the point after making sure of my identity.
“Your sister blacked out from drinking too much. We’re monitoring her for breathing or choking issues. She’s on an IV to give her the fluid her body needs to help rid itself of the alcohol. Fortunately, her friend found her in time and called 911.”
I wondered if this was Ava, the friend who had stayed with her at the fraternity party. Was she a true friend, there for Ally when Ally needed her? Or was she a drinking buddy?
The doctor was continuing, “This level of alcohol in the blood can have serious side effects. We’ll keep her overnight but you need to think about some long-term treatment for her. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen her here—though in the past all she really needed was a chance to sleep it off and a couple of Tylenol in the morning. The fact that this time she had a blackout suggests a growing alcohol addiction.”
“How could I not have seen this coming? How could I have missed the signs?”
“From what I’ve seen, alcoholics are often excellent con artists and the people they con most successfully are family members who want to believe only the best.”
“She promised me she would leave alcohol alone,” I said, almost to myself. “She promised.” Then I turned to the doctor. “How do you know?” I asked. “How can you tell when someone crosses the line between casual drinking and alcoholism?”
“This isn’t a scientific definition, but for practical purposes, an alcoholic is someone who can’t leave alcohol alone, no matter what she promises, someone for whom one drink is never enough. I don’t mean to judge, but it’s pretty obvious to me that she’s more than just a casual drinker.”