“I know this is upsetting for you, but…I…I don’t know who I am anymore, where did I come from? Who really are my parents? Oh, Jeremy, I just feel so uncertain about my origins.”
“I thought we went through that, Camilla. For awhile you thought you were connected to that Hamilton lady and, heaven forbid, that Dad was the father. But Grandma straightened all that out. Dad’s girlfriend name was Jenny and not Marjorie as you had suspected.”
“Well, that may be, but I still think there is something there. It’s just the way Dad looks at me. And I still can’t get over that man at Father Engelmann’s anniversary party either. You said his name was, Peter…he stared at me in the same way your Dad does. And then a little later I saw Dad talking to him and all of a sudden they stopped and stared back at me. Oh, Jeremy I just feel this is all connected somehow. I’m so anxious and panicky. The girls at work notice it too. And, and I’ve seen it in other girls who I have counseled.”
“Well, honey, just because a man stares at you doesn’t mean he’s connected to you. You’re a beautiful woman, a man would be crazy not to notice or even stare at you for that matter. Camilla, you’re going off track, Valerie and Stanley Breckhart were your parents. It’s just one of those quirks of nature that you look so different. Honey, you just have to accept that!”
“There’s more to it, Jeremy, I looked at the family photos over and over and the albums I brought home after Dad’s death. In every one there isn’t a speck of similarity between us. It’s like night and day. You would think there would be at least one tiny thing that we have in common besides our name. Look at your brother, Justin and your sisters. I can tell instantly that their father is your Dad. And when I look at photos of your mom, you have her nose, her eyes and smile and colour of hair. In all cases there are similarities of origin…in my case I can’t see one!”
Jeremy shifted and laid back on his pillow to give his arm that he had been resting on a rest. He brought his other hand under his head and just lay there thinking on it all. He didn’t know what to say to his wife.
“Geez, honey, this doesn’t make sense. You’re going to have to deal with this somehow. Maybe do a family tree history on your parents, just maybe there is a grandma or grandpa or even great-grandparents who you resemble.”
“I did already. Mom and Dad’s photo albums are full of pictures of their family and ancestors. They all look like each other except for me. I look like a white lamb in a herd of black sheep!”
And before Jeremy could speak, Camilla went on, “And there is another thing, for as long as I remember Mom always told me that a stork brought me to them. I remember the first time she said that was when Mom read a book to me…I can’t remember what the name of the book was, but I can still see the image in my mind of a stork flying through the air carrying a baby in a blanket dangling from its beak. Whenever I asked her where I came from that is what she would say, ‘a stork brought you.’”
“Camilla, a lot of parents feel uncomfortable talking about the birds and bees. It was never an issue in our family, Mom made sure of that. But for a lot of parents it’s difficult. I don’t think you should jump to any conclusions—”
“Jeremy, she said a stork brought me up until I was fourteen and then I stopped asking as it embarrassed me to think that my Mom was still treating me like a small child. To me it means that Mom was indirectly trying to tell me that I didn’t come from her but rather from someone else. And even when I was grown she couldn’t take credit for my birth and kept saying I came from a stork…”
“Or from another mother…” Jeremy said, finishing what Camilla would have said.
“That’s right! I just can’t shake the feeling that somewhere out there I have a mother and a father who I have yet to find.”
“But what if you’re wrong honey…what if you’re creating something out of nothing and this thing hangs over your head for always? I hate to see you so unhappy. It’s not your usual self.”
Camilla didn’t answer. She lay there and began to cry again.
“Well, with your Mom reading about the stork all the time, that would explain why you have that reoccurring dream of a stork delivering a baby in a blanket.”
“That’s another thing, Jeremy the dream has changed. It’s no longer a stork carrying the baby it’s now an angel and who is the lady sitting in the gazebo surrounded by wildflowers? And now I am beginning to dream of that man, Peter, too. He seems to be waiting for the angel holding the baby as well...”
“Oh, geez…Camilla, this is getting out of hand.”
“But, there’s another thing that I haven’t told you yet…”
“What’s that?”
“It’s Dad’s strong box. It’s packed downstairs inside some other boxes that the movers brought here after Dad died and we cleared out the house—”
“Oh, you mean, the green metal box? I remember packing that one myself.”
“Yes, that’s the one. Dad kept all of his important documents in there. You know, his insurance policy, title to the house and things like that. I remember taking out his will and before locking it again, I noticed a birth certificate and other letters in there that I didn’t bother looking at at the time.”
“So?”
“I think some of those papers have to do with me and I’m afraid to look at them. I went downstairs three times last week and I just can’t make myself get the box and see what’s in there…”
Jeremy squeezed Camilla’s hand, “Oh sweetheart, I’m sure it’s nothing, come, let’s go down there right now and have a look, I’ll be right with you, nothing to be afraid off.”
“No, this is something I have to do myself…I’m too afraid, Jeremy. I think the answers that I’m looking for are there…but, I don’t know if I’m ready yet to know the truth of who I really am…”
Jeremy rolled over and put his hand on Camilla’s shoulder once more.
“You know, Honey, for as long as I can remember both my Mom and Dad always told me to pray to my guardian angel when I was worried about something. They are messengers from God and they can whisper things into our ears of what we should do. They also are there to guide and protect us. Maybe pray to yours, Honey. I still do to mine almost everyday. It was so drilled into me as I grew up. Let’s say the prayer and go to sleep, Camilla.”
Camilla reached her hand back to Jeremy and held it as both whispered the Guardian Angel prayer in unison:
Guardian angel my guardian dear,
To whom God’s love commits me here;
Ever this day be at my side,
To light and guard, to rule and guide.
Amen.
Chapter Forty-Six
Today, would be Father Engelmann’s last official sermon as parish priest for St. Mary’s Church. The recent celebration of his 25th anniversary as a priest gave testimony and witness to many of the things Father had accomplished during his tenure as a priest. The weddings, funerals, baptisms, confirmations, the home visits were one thing, but Father’s confessions and homilies were heaven sent. How attendance grew and the many people that were healed physically and spiritually and came home to the church was nothing short of miraculous.
Henry, as well as hundreds of parishioners, had tears in their eyes as they watched Father as he followed the altar boys to the altar. It was obvious to all present that Father’s love for the priesthood had never lessened over the years. Rather, his love for being a shepherd exhibited even more passion for his chosen work as each and every Sunday rolled around. The spring in his step always seemed livelier than the last time; his smile only grew broader, warmer and more benevolent. His love for the mass and the Lord only grew more fervent. His commitment to become like Jesus and follow in His Master’s footsteps, more deeply sown.
All Henry could conclude was that Father was a Saint back from when he first opened his store until now. Henry loved his teacher then an
d only more today if that were possible. He was his closest and dearest friend and everyday Henry thanked God for blessing him with such a beacon of light to follow that has helped lead him on the path to righteousness.
Father surveyed his flock with eyes that reddened as his head scanned the people. Several times he tried to begin, but his voice caught each time. Finally, he began the mass by making the sign of the cross. Henry’s heart went out to his mentor and friend. He knew how difficult it was for Father to leave his beloved parish. Henry was not alone, parishioners all around were drying their eyes.
After the Gospel readings, Father closed the Bible and slowly began to speak.
“From the first day that I came here until today it has always been my main mission and purpose to serve you through the Lord. To make certain that each and every one of you comes safely home to the Father so that along with Anna and me, we will all be together in His kingdom.
During this past week I pondered over what sermon I could leave you with that will help you on your life journey. And as always the Lord in His perfect timing through the scriptures in the gospel readings today has told me what to say.
“St. Matthew’s sixth chapter versus 21-24 points to the pit-falls that grips our world today and the message I want to leave with you:
“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
Matthew 6:21
And……
“If your eye is pure, there will be sunshine in your soul. But if your eye is clouded with evil thoughts and desires, you are in deep spiritual darkness. And oh, how deep that darkness can be!
Matthew 6:22
And……
“You cannot serve two masters: God and money. For you will hate the one and love the other, or else the other way around.
Matthew 6:24
“Over the last 25 years as a priest I have noticed many changes in the world that attacks values which we hold so dear. Back then stores were closed on Sundays, and Monday or Wednesday afternoons. It was a day of rest for family. People worked from morning usually from eight or nine until five or six. Wives stayed home to raise the children and make the home. Or in some cases the roles were reversed, but there was order.
“Today the values of the world are attacking these personal values.”
“Television, while providing some good entertainment is overshadowed with violence, drugs and sex. Advertisements are working to make us discontent with our lot and are urging us to buy more and to keep up with others. Family dinners are less often as both parents are working and at times all hours. Many times children are left to fend for themselves. Sunday church attendance is declining; there is no longer respect for the Sabbath. There is less prayer in the home, and infant abortions are on the increase…where is all of this leading to?
“It is so important my dear brothers and sisters that we stop and become aware of what is going on or else we will get snared ever more deeply into the ways of the secular world while the spiritual side of our lives is increasingly in greater jeopardy. To say we have no time to pray or relate with God is very dangerous my friends. We must stop and examine the direction in which we are going before it is too late. The first scripture reading clearly reminds us what is most important in our lives;
“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
Father stopped and reached for something underneath the lectern. Many parishioners leaned forward and squinted to see what he was up to. Father was holding an old style alarm clock and began by winding the clock. When it was fully wound he pulled up the button on top of the clock and then he slowly began to make a powerful analogy.
“Sometimes a message is best learned and remembered with a visual aid. I have set this clock so that it will ring at some point in my homely. No, it is not to remind me to stop as you have heard enough. Nor is it to alert you to keep awake during my sermon.” Some chuckled and others smiled.
“Meine lieben freunde, when this alarm goes off it is to announce to all of us that many people have died. This may be something that we don’t like to think about, but death is a part of life. Between now and the time it rings hundreds if not thousands of people will have passed on and…it even could be one of us.”
Father set the alarm clock on the ledge and continued.
“When each of us is born our clock of life on earth is wound just once. There is no snooze button or second wake up call. When it rings, we will be no more. Our journey through life has run its course and our time on earth is over.
“For many of us we don’t give this subject much thought. For one thing it is unpleasant to think of death even though it is a door through which all of us must go through. It makes us anxious and uneasy and yet if we acknowledge it, it can motivate us to live lives that God blesses and rewards. When that moment in time comes knocking on our door will our lamps be lit and will we be ready to meet our Maker? Or will we be caught in the darkness or shadows of life? Time may go on seemingly forever, but our time on earth is very short and if we look at it in terms of eternity, it is far less than the blink of an eye.
“Jesus said there are many mansions in the kingdom of heaven. Where do you want to spend it? Near Him or on the outskirts or…in the other kingdom? It all depends on what we treasure in the heart.”
Suddenly the alarm went off! Many were startled by the sound more so than its significance. Father let the alarm ring and ring and then suddenly he raised his hand and came down hard on the button and instantly an eerie, dead silence spread throughout the church.
Father surveyed the congregation nodding his head and then with a growing grin on his face he said, “Although many people died before the alarm went off, fortunately, I see everyone is still here.”
There were a few nervous chuckles and Father continued, “But I tell you that one day sooner or later our alarm will ring. Let this be a wake up call.”
“Are we ready my children?”
Father paused for a moment and re-set and re-wound the clock and set it down.
“Just before the alarm sounded I was about to share a St. Peter story with you. I’m sure all of you have heard many jokes in that regard of someone who has died and was met by St. Peter at the pearly gates of heaven. The only thing about my story is that it may not be a laughing matter.
“There was once a very successful man that died and tried to bring all his riches on a huge U-haul trailer that he pulled behind his Cadillac. As he approached the gates of heaven the wheels of his car and trailer began to sink deeper and deeper in the ground and finally came to a halt. As he looked around he saw many others either on foot or in their vehicles that were stuck too. He was glad he had made it this far.
“There must be a lot of rain in heaven, he thought. He got out and trudged through the mud and eventually he, too, got stuck as the mud made its way to the top of his boots. He was relieved to see St. Peter in the distance and yelled out to him for help.
“I could sure use a hand, I think four angels could easily lift me out of this mess if you would be so kind as to summon them for me.”
“St. Peter came to the man’s side and advised him to back up and soon he would be on dry ground again.
“‘But isn’t this the way to heaven? I’d like to come in.’
“‘Your name is Sydney Accumulate More, is it not?’
“‘Yes, that’s right.’
“St. Peter checked the big book again and said, ‘I’m sorry Mr. More, but your name is not on the guest list.’
“‘There must be some mistake. My name has to be on the list. I’ve been a good man and have worked very hard all of my life. Surely the Lord must be pleased with that.’ And turning to his trailer he said, ‘And look at all the gold and silver and money I have amassed, I will gladly pay my way in.’
“St. Peter shook his head and looked compassionately at the man.
“�
�Mr. More, one—’
“‘Please, St. Peter, call me Syd,’ said the man, hoping he could make friends with the holy man and perhaps better influence him.
“‘Yes, as you wish, Syd. Hard work and all the money in the world however, cannot buy your way into heaven, there is only one way—’
“‘And what is that?’ asked Syd, the furrow in his brow deepening.
“‘We must come to Jesus with a repentant heart and tell Him that we are sorry for our sins and invite Him into our hearts to be our Lord and Saviour. Did you ever do that?’
“Syd thought back over his life for a few moments and quickly said, ‘I’m sure I must have said it more than once…and I know I asked to be forgiven for my sins several times.’
“‘Yes, many come to the Lord during their lives, Syd, but they must be sincere and truly invite Jesus into their hearts. We know that you have heard Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and that no one comes to the Father except through His son. Jesus became man, died for our sins to pay our debt to the Father so that we might have life with Him in heaven. All the wealth you possess cannot pay for your or anyone’s sins. It’s a gift from Jesus to you as long as you accept Him with a sincere heart as I said.’
“‘I am sure I did, St. Peter!’
“St. Peter raised his hand in front of Syd and in a flash of light Syd’s life passed before him exposing what he treasured in his heart.
“‘Here is the thing, Syd. A half an hour after you invited Jesus into your heart you went back to your old ways. You worked very hard however you never spent as much as a half of an hour praying to God nor reading the teachings of His son in the bible.’
“‘But surely my hard work counts for something. And look what I have amassed…’ Syd turned and once again swept his hand towards the fortune piled high on the trailer.
“‘I am afraid you don’t understand, Syd. Your wealth and possessions are worthless. All the things you strived for like so many of God’s children have absolutely no value here.’
The Angelic Occurrence Page 43