“The Mountains of Mush,” said Hubba Blubba, waving at the slopes below. “Slime-skiing is our favourite sport here on Splurdj.”
Hubba Blubba explained how it worked. You went to the top of a mountain and zoomed down on your back, head first. Because you couldn’t see where you were going, you had no idea what you might bump into. It was wonderfully dangerous.
“Can we have a go?” said Rocky eagerly.
“No time, alas!” said Hubba Blubba. “Oozis hold the intergalactic speed record for speed sliding, you know. Two hundred and thirty-three zonkometres an hour! And down there you will see our cosmic crazy-golf course.”
The Space Penguins looked at the transparent dome beneath them. A couple of Oozis with clubs floated and spun in slow circles inside, sometimes hitting balls through hoops and sometimes not.
Way below, the penguins could see the Tunafish parked sideways on the landing strip beside Fort Gundj as the Gooter banked with one more FWPWPWPWPWP towards a huge glass dome.
“Wow!” said Fuzz. “It’s so colourful!”
The Space Penguins admired the blue waters, the yellow and red flowers, the bright green trees, the pink elevated pathways and the large white iceberg in the heart of the dome.
“My Space Zoo,” said Hubba Blubba proudly, as the Gooter glided overhead. “Every possible habitat for every possible creature. I have spent my life collecting the animal wonders of the universe. I even have a Wangflang.”
“What’s a Wangflang?” asked Fuzz.
“One of the most dangerous creatures in the cosmos!”
“Can we go inside?” Captain Krill asked hopefully. “If we can’t try slime-skiing, I’d love to slide down that iceberg instead.”
“Of course!” promised the Oozi chief. “But first we have work to do. Something that only the famous Space Penguins can help me with.”
Rocky preened his eyebrows. “You’ve picked the right guys. Black and white, full of might, faster than the speed of light. That’s us.”
“I’m blue,” Fuzz said, a little crossly.
“Who lives on the massive iceberg?” asked Splash, looking again at the gleaming white mountain.
Hubba Blubba gave a strange smile. “Some truly remarkable creatures,” he said. “Now, this part of the tour is over, my waddling friends. Let us return to Fort Gundj.”
As the Gooter did a big loop right around the dome, Splash noticed a banner hung above a large set of doors, which read “GRAND OPENING TOMORROW!”
They landed on the ground outside Fort Gundj. But this time Hubba Blubba went past the dining cavern and turned left into a narrow passage. BHARGH-BRUP BHARGH-BRUP BHARRRGH-BHARRGH-BRRRUP went the Oozi trumpets.
“Guys,” said Splash, as they slid after their host on their bellies. “Something about that Space Zoo makes me nervous.”
“It looks brilliant,” said Fuzz.
“Do you think the creatures Hubba Blubba mentioned would mind us having a go on their iceberg?” Rocky said.
“I’m sure he’d put them inside their cages for a while, if we asked him nicely,” said Captain Krill.
They whizzed along until a metal door slid open and they found themselves inside a small, circular room. Unlike the gloomy dining cavern, it was brightly lit and modern. Computer screens shone on the walls and Oozi technicians sat at steel desks, pressing buttons. The Oozi musicians stood outside the door in dripping rows with their trumpets dangling by their sides.
“This is where I control everything in my zoo.” Hubba Blubba pointed at the screens.
“Tell me, what is your perfect habitat?”
“Cold,” said Rocky.
“Slippery,” said Fuzz.
“Penguins are simple creatures,” said Captain Krill. “Give us water and sub-zero temperatures and we’re happy.”
“Just as I thought,” said Hubba Blubba. “Does your perfect habitat look something like … this?”
The biggest screen showed the large iceberg in the centre of the dome.
“Yes!” cried Fuzz.
“That’s it exactly!” said the Captain.
Rocky imagined getting up to speeds of at least two hundred and thirty-three zonkometres an hour down the iceberg. He could smash that intergalactic speed-sliding record if he tried.
“Guys,” said Splash. “We ought to go. We’ve got that Thing. Remember?”
“What Thing?” said Captain Krill.
“You’re talking tail-rot, Splash,” said Rocky. “We haven’t got a Thing.”
“Tell me,” Hubba Blubba said delicately. “Your favourite food is?”
“Fish fingers in cream and truffle sauce,” said Fuzz.
“We really do have a Thing,” said Splash, a bit louder.
The others ignored him.
“And your best trick is?” said Hubba Blubba, in the same delicate voice.
‘“I’m pretty good at juggling clams,” said Rocky. “As long as there’s only one.”
“Hmm. Doesn’t sound very entertaining,” said Hubba Blubba with a frown. “We’ll have to teach you something else.”
“Why do you want to teach us stuff?” said Fuzz in surprise.
“Because you are going to be the prize exhibits in my Space Zoo,” explained Hubba Blubba with a slimy smile.
Too late, the penguins realized the horrible truth.
“It’s a trap!” roared Splash. “Waddle for your lives!”
The Oozi musicians barred the exit. Their floppy trumpets suddenly looked threatening.
Laser beams then criss-crossed the room in a burst of red light, scanning the space heroes’ bodies – flipper to flipper, back of neck to top of head, tummies to toes. Everything was measured in swift flashes of red, and numbers streamed on the screens around the Space Penguins.
Then the lasers vanished. A big red net dropped from the ceiling and tightened around the Tunafish’s crew, hoisting them into the air.
“Hey, blubberbrain!” roared Fuzz, struggling to get free. “Put me down or risk the rage of the Fuzzmeister!”
“I’m upside down!” complained Rocky. “My eyebrows will be ruined.”
“I told you we had a Thing!” shouted Splash. “We should have left AS SOON AS I MENTIONED THE THING!”
“This isn’t on, Hubba Blubba,” said Captain Krill angrily. “It goes against every rule in the book!”
“I don’t care about rules,” Hubba Blubba grinned. “I just care about my Space Zoo. My collection is now complete. Dear Space Penguins, I knew inviting you to Splurdj was my best idea ever. You are the spew in my stew. The trail on my snail. You are MINE FOREVER!”
CAPTURED!
No matter how hard the Space Penguins struggled, they couldn’t get free. The red net held them as tight as tinned sardines.
A hatch flipped open in the Control Room ceiling.
“You won’t get away with this!” Captain Krill roared.
“I just did,” Hubba Blubba chortled. “You will be transported straight to my Space Zoo, to that big iceberg you admired a few minutes ago. Remember those remarkable creatures I mentioned? That’s YOU. I built that habitat just for YOU, and it’s perfect – you told me so yourselves. Dinner will be along shortly. So will an instructor, to teach you some decent tricks. There’s nothing more boring than zoo creatures that can’t do tricks. See you tomorrow for the Grand Opening!”
“Slimeball!” Fuzz bellowed, as the penguins were hoisted through the hatch and into the dull evening light outside. “Bogey-bum! GUNGE-GUTS!”
The Space Penguins twirled sickeningly in mid-air as the Control Room hatch disappeared from view. Then they swung and lurched towards the top of the great dome. Now they could see that they were attached to a huge green crane, almost invisible against the green, slimy rocks of Fort Gundj. The whole thing felt like a funfair ride – only it was no fun at all.
A hole opened up in the top of the dome and the Space Penguins looked down at their new home. The red net was lowered through the hole until the penguins’ feet –
and Rocky’s head – touched solid ground. They were at the very top of the iceberg in the centre of the Space Zoo.
The net released them. Rocky tipped sideways, landing on his belly and started sliding down the iceberg, away from the rest of the crew.
“Whoo!” he cried, gathering speed.
“That looks brilliant,” said Captain Krill, watching Rocky go.
“We’ve been captured by a stinky slime beast,” said Splash. “We’re doomed to stay in this place for the rest of our lives, and you call it brilliant?”
Captain Krill tore his eyes away from the icy slope. “You’re right, of course, Splash. It isn’t brilliant at all.”
“It’s an OUTRAGE,” bellowed Fuzz.
“Luckily for us,” said Splash, lifting his belly to reveal an egg-shaped toolbox, “I had my suspicions before we landed. I tucked my toolbox on top of my feet when we left the Tunafish. If I can construct some means of winching us back up to the hatch again…”
“Wheeeeeee!” said Fuzz, hurling himself down the iceberg.
“I’d better go after him,” said Captain Krill.
Fuzz and the Captain streaked away down the glittering white slope.
“Oh, hairy haddocks,” sighed Splash. He covered up his toolbox, lay on his belly and raced after the others.
The penguins landed at the bottom of the iceberg, beaks almost touching the water, and picked themselves up.
“I want to do it again!” shouted Rocky.
Splash folded his flippers and tapped one foot. “How, exactly?”
Fuzz waddled speedily up the iceberg. He got about halfway before he came tumbling down again.
“That’s what I call a one-way experience,” he said, brushing himself down.
“So the escape plan you mentioned, Splash,” said Captain Krill. “The one about using your toolbox to build something from the top of the iceberg to the hatch in the top of the dome. I’m guessing we can’t do that now?”
Splash’s foot was still tapping. “You guessed right.”
“So we shouldn’t have slid down the iceberg in the first place,” said Fuzz.
“Nope,” said Splash.
“But it was awesome,” said Rocky.
“Tremendous,” said Captain Krill.
“Mega,” said Fuzz.
“Look,” said Splash.
A big holographic sign was projected near the base of the iceberg. Red letters spelled out the words:
Rocky tossed his eyebrows in disgust. “There’s nothing unknown about my talents.”
“They’ve spelled penguins wrong,” added Splash.
“They have?” said Fuzz.
“Right,” said the Captain, clapping his flippers to get their attention. “We’re on an icy island in the middle of a Space Zoo.
In order to escape, we have two options. Swim across the water to the next island, and the next, and the next, until we reach the edge of the dome.”
“Then what?” asked Splash.
“We break out,” said Captain Krill. “Somehow…”
“What’s the second option?” Fuzz asked.
Captain Krill looked up at the elevated pink pathways, criss-crossing the dome. “Learn to fly,” he said.
“WHAT?” said the others.
“That could take a while,” said Splash, glancing at his stubby flippers.
“I think those pathways are for visitors looking around the zoo,” the Captain explained. “If we could just get up there we could waddle all the way to the doors.”
Fuzz flexed his flippers and pointed his toes. “Swimming it is. What are we waiting for?”
The penguins flung themselves into the water.
“If there’s one thing I love more than sliding,” said Rocky, bobbing to the surface, “it’s swimming. Which way, Captain?”
Captain Krill had no time to answer. A huge, steel-clawed tentacle broke the surface just in front of him, followed by another, and another.
SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!
“OW!” roared Captain Krill, as one of the steel claws pulled a clump of feathers out of his tail. “Back to shore! NOW!”
More tentacles exploded upwards, waving in the air. Captain Krill shot out of the water like a cork from a bottle. The others followed. They landed hard on the icy ground, shocked and shaking.
The penguins exchanged horrified looks. What the flaming fish guts was THAT?
THE GREAT FLIP
“I think I just died,” Rocky panted, lying back on the ice. “Someone kick me to prove I’m alive. OW! Thanks, Fuzz. OW! Hey, no need to kick me twice!”
“If you hadn’t slid down the iceberg, Splash would be sorting our escape through the top of the dome!” shouted Fuzz. “Instead we nearly got eaten alive!”
“I lost my balance!” Rocky protested. “What’s your excuse?”
“That octopus thing was an impressive piece of technology,” said Splash, changing the subject.
The penguins could see nothing beneath the dark blue waters.
Fuzz dabbled a toe.
WHOOOSH!
A great silver claw shot out of the water and nearly snapped Fuzz’s beak off. The penguins fell backwards in shock.
Captain Krill got to his feet for the second time, rubbing the bald patch on his tail. “We need to think,” he said.
FWPWPWP.
A Gooter was buzzing towards them.
“Escape is impossible,” boomed a female Oozi over the Gooter’s loudspeaker. “Enter the water again and the ClawBorg will rip you to shreds.”
A hatch in the Gooter’s belly opened and a bucket was lowered down. It landed on the iceberg with a clink.
“Fish fingers in cream and truffle sauce!” Fuzz gasped, peering inside the bucket.
“I hate fish fingers,” sulked Rocky. “You should have said we liked mackerel ice cream.”
“Or squid,” said Splash.
“Or swordfish,” said the Captain. “Minus the sword.”
Fuzz leaped on the fish fingers. After one bite, he spat them out.
“URGH,” he said, wiping his beak. “They look like fish fingers but they’re basically spewkrangle stew covered in crumbs and white slime.”
FWPWPWP.
Now a long, thin plank was lowered through the hatch. An Oozi in a black and green crown was balancing on top, holding a box in her arms.
“Greetings,” said the Oozi. She slid on to the ice with a squelch and put down the box. “We have a lot of work to do.”
“You’re that acrobat from the feast,” said Fuzz. “Glog!”
“You were great,” said Rocky. “You know, for a flying bag of gunge.”
Glog gave a slippery bow.
“Get back into your smelly Gooter and buzz off,” said Captain Krill.
The other penguins looked shocked.
“Flying fishcakes, Captain, that’s a bit rude,” said Rocky.
“I apologize,” said Captain Krill. “But I am extremely angry about all this.”
“There’s no point complaining,” said Glog. “You’re here to stay. I am here on Chief Oozi’s orders, to teach you some tricks. Tricks will make your life more fun. Tricks will get you more food. Tricks are the key to happiness in this zoo. Now, you will do what I say or I will throw you to the ClawBorg. Are we clear?”
The penguins eyed the water. They could see the steel tentacles of the ClawBorg waving around just beneath the waves.
“Clear as icecubes,” said Splash.
Glog flipped open the box and pulled out some juggling balls, a long rope and four frilly-necked outfits.
“These are your costumes,” said Glog. “They have been designed especially for you and will fit perfectly. Put them on.”
“But they’re dresses!” said Rocky.
“They’re pink and sparkly!” said Fuzz.
“I summon the ClawBorg—” Glog began in a loud voice.
“Put the frocks on, team!” ordered Captain Krill, as the water rippled in an ominous manner.
The pe
nguins reluctantly did as they were told.
“Chief Oozi said one of you could juggle,” said Glog.
Rocky picked up one of the juggling balls and threw it up and down a couple of times. He dropped it almost straight away.
“Practice makes perfect,” said Glog. “Now, the rope is for skipping.”
She demonstrated, covering the rope with slime. She thrust the rope at Fuzz. “Give it a go, titch.”
Fuzz went bright red with rage. “Call me that again and I’ll throw YOU to the ClawBorg!”
Ignoring him, Glog unhooked the long, thin plank from the still-hovering Gooter. Then, using the costume box as a pivot, she balanced the plank on top.
“A see-saw?” muttered Rocky. “You have to be squidding.”
Glog climbed on to one end of the see-saw.
“I want someone to jump on the other end. You,” she said, pointing at Captain Krill. “The fat one.”
Captain Krill looked behind him for a fat penguin.
“She means you, Captain,” said Splash, sniggering a bit.
“No,” said Captain Krill furiously.
“I summon the ClawBorg—”
“I am only doing this because I have no choice,” Captain Krill grumbled.
He waddled up to the other end of the see-saw and jumped.
PING!
Glog did a backflip and landed on the ice with the kind of slap you get when you drop a water balloon on the ground. The penguins were splattered in slime.
“The Great Flip,” said Glog. “Your turn.”
“Never!” growled Fuzz.
“No way, stingray,” said Rocky.
“I think … we should give it a go,” said Captain Krill thoughtfully.
The Space Penguins stared at their leader. Why had he suddenly changed his tune?
Captain Krill turned to Glog. “Thank you for your instructions. We will practise until we are perfect.”
“If you get this right, Hubba Blubba will reward you,” Glog said, looking pleased. “And I’ll get extra helpings of spewkrangle stew for breakfast,” she added, as the Gooter winched her up again. The hatch shut and it jetted off in a cloud of stinky gas.
Space Penguins Planet Peril Page 2