by Sex, Nikki
Laura picked up his hand and pressed it against her cheek. "I want a warm, living person sleeping next to me, Jack. Not only sleeping, either. I want to be with you. There was a frigging murder at my place. I’m pretty freaked out, you know?”
He nodded but said nothing. Carefully and gently took her palm from her face, pressed a kiss into it, and put it on her knee.
“We walked right into where he was killed,” she said, her voice beginning to rise to a high, anxious pitch. “I feel awful, I feel so damned guilty—but you know what? Part of me is relieved and that makes me feel even worse. Jack, it could've been me. Don't you see? It could've been me lying there with my throat cut in a pool of my own blood—” She shook her head. “You must think I'm terrible."
"No. Not at all. I think you're human, Laura. I'm so glad it wasn't you. Ron would‘ve been glad it wasn’t you, too. He felt protective. I understand that. I feel the same way."
A few tears started to roll down her cheeks. “Thank you.” She sat back, her whole body tense, her nerves and muscles on edge.
“I’ve always known I was going to die someday—everyone knows that. It’s just a thing. But yesterday… when I saw Ron dead—” He watched her throat move as she swallowed hard.
Laura’s eyes were big and haunted. Jack had an overwhelming urge to pull her into his arms, but he stopped himself from doing so. He’d done this dance many times before with panicked soldiers. She was telling him her fears and purging ugly images. It needed to flow from her, to get out.
He didn’t want to interrupt that.
Pulling her on to his lap where he could hold her and soothe her would only be a distraction. Right now it was his job to shut up and listen.
She inhaled deeply. “…I realized death could happen soon. Like at any time. I was so scared. I don’t want to die—I don’t want to be alone Jack. I just need to feel alive. I need to feel something. Something strong—anything but fear, guilt, shame and terror…”
"I understand, Laura. That’s a normal reaction—Jesus, I sound like a professor—but what you’re feeling is a common response to something like this. People witness death and they want to do something life affirming. You see it in the middle of war or disaster—it's a way to comfort each other."
Laura put her hand on his and laced his fingers with hers. Bringing it to her lips for a soft kiss, she guided both hands back to her thigh.
"Really? Is that what you soldiers did, when you had to have your life... affirmed?"
Jack smiled and squeezed her hand. "Well, we didn't necessarily have sex with each other, if that's what you mean. Although there were a lot of goings on in the dark corners of camp. We have girls out there as well, you know. Guys too, I guess. I didn't ask and nobody told."
“Lots less girls than men, I bet.”
Jack laughed. “Let’s just say female soldiers are really popular over there. They’re pretty amazing, women who are Marines. I have no idea how they manage to put up with all of that relentless male attention.”
“Really? What, are men always trying to get them into bed?”
“Sure. Given basic human biology, I’m sure some succeed, too.”
Laura frowned, thinking this over.
“Once, I saw something scrawled on a toilet door. It said, Enjoy it while you can girls! I am, cuz soon I’ll be back in the States, where I’ll be ugly again.”
“That’s terrible!”
“That’s life.” He shrugged. “Life often isn’t fair.”
Laura stared at him, her mind clearly stuck on the thought of women who were considered ugly and the constant petty, disheartening trials that they’d have to endure throughout their lives.
He knew he’d upset her.
She’d seen a good friend dead, literally killed at her doorstep—brutally murdered. Covered with her neighbor’s blood, Laura had realized how close she’d come to death herself. Yet, she still had the ability to feel sorry for some unknown female Marine who’d been born unattractive.
For such a strong, no-nonsense sort of girl who somehow dragged herself up from a garbage heap—Laura sure was softhearted.
Jack loved that about her. She talked tough, but behind all of her bluster was innate kindness.
He studied her, taking in her silky golden hair, her strong chin, firm lips and angular jaw. Such stubborn, masculine features on such a sweet, feminine body. There was so much natural goodness radiating from her.
His eyes focused on her face and a warm sense of happiness flowed right through him.
Maybe life wasn’t always fair, but there were countless joyous moments. Moments of warmth, of love and human connection. Times just like now, where a man could sit with an amazing, beautiful woman—and feel so damned grateful to be alive.
"And you, Jack?” Laura finally said quietly. “Did you find yourself a little soldier girl and go off into the bushes?" She pulled his hand even higher until it rested at the top of her thigh, his fingers curled across her hip.
"Not me, I’m sorry to say. Officers are supposed to have a little restraint."
Her expression was intense—her green eyes were dark and dilated with need. "I don't want you to show any restraint, Jack. Not with me. Not tonight."
Chapter 42.
His response was instant and automatic—with an offer like that, she didn’t need to ask him twice.
His body swelled with primal energy. When he swept her up in his arms like a bride crossing the threshold, Laura gave a little shriek of surprise. Winding her arms around his neck, she laughed as he carried her into the bedroom.
Jack wasn’t laughing.
Swirling anger and a sense of powerlessness had filled him ever since he’d seen Ron lying dead. Death was so final, so unexpected and close. It was bad enough in a war zone.
He’d come back to the United States, but the war, like an evil shadow, had followed him home. Jack hated seeing Laura upset, but what could he do about it?
What he wanted to do was kill someone.
More specifically, he wanted to kill Jonah.
Failing that, he wanted to fuck Laura senseless. Jack didn’t want soft and loving—he didn’t want sweet. Not right now. Just then, he wanted to fuck her over and over again until he fell into a blissful state of unconsciousness. And when he woke up he wanted to fuck her some more.
His voice came out deep and low. “Do you have any idea of just how much I want you?”
He had the satisfaction of watching as she caught her breath. “No,” she breathed. “How much?”
“I can’t tell you that,” he said quietly. His lips curved in a teasing smile. “I’m going to have to show you.”
Jack stood her up at the foot of the bed and pulled that large, loose T-shirt up over her head, tossing it on the floor. It was as he suspected—nothing on underneath. Curves, breasts and an enticing triangle of blonde hair between her legs—not to mention that single-minded, lustful expression of hers.
For a moment, he lost the ability to speak or move, just from the captivating sight of her. A vision of throwing her up against the wall, slamming into her, and taking her hard and fast flew through his consciousness—but he couldn’t do that.
Laura didn’t need that right now.
“My God, the look on your face,” she said with a smile, while placing her hands on his chest. “You sure know how to make a girl feel wanted.”
“You’re so beautiful,” he said as he pulled her into his arms, crushing her to him.
Laura moaned as his mouth met hers. She twined her arms around his neck and they pressed the lengths of their bodies together, her breasts, warm, silky softness, pushing into the hardness of his chest.
Such sweet lips. The scent and sight of her filled him. The solid length of his erection pressed up against her sex while his hands went to her buttocks, bringing her hard against him.
Pulling one of her legs up by the thigh, Jack pulled her into him—he had to get closer.
Tongues entwined, Laura gasped into
his mouth, murmuring his name as her body shuddered with pleasure.
Jack swept her up into his arms again and placed her in the middle of the bed. Laura needed him, and he never did anything impulsively. Jack was always a man with a plan.
“I’m going to kiss every single inch of your body,” he told her.
“You won’t get any complaints from me,” she giggled.
He began at her face, peppering her eyes, nose and cheeks with kisses and moving to her neck, her throat and behind her ears. All the while his hands caressed her, throat, breasts, nipples, stomach and hips.
Hands, teeth and tongue, Jack started at the top and worked his way down. Licking, stroking, nibbling and sucking—like a hungry man, Jack feasted. He was starving, but only for her.
Every time Laura responded or made a sound of pleasure, a whimper, moan or sigh, he spent more time, concentrating his focus on that area. He’d told her he wanted to show her just how much he wanted her, and that was exactly what he intended to do.
Her scent alone was a potent aphrodisiac. Jack had to wonder, if she smelled this good, what would she taste like?
Aching with need, the thought of tasting her made him even harder. Spreading the sensitive tissues of her sex, Jack licked and Laura moaned loudly. She was red, swollen and flushed. As he laved between her legs, her hips instinctively bucked with arousal.
“Oh, God, Jack. That feels amazing,” she gasped.
“You taste fantastic. Mmm.”
Every cell in his body, every part of him wanted to bury himself inside of her, slam his body inside of her and lose himself. Forget death and mistakes and remorse and regrets. Forget fear and unhappiness.
Forget everything.
His need was so great that his body ached for her.
Concentration, that’s the key to control, he thought.
Carefully keeping her wet folds apart, he put two fingers inside of her while circling her clit with his tongue. He altered the rhythm and pressure of his licks, moving from slow to fast, measured to erratic and firm to soft.
Laura particularly relished firm, fast flicks using the flat of his tongue. If her sweet sounds of arousal were anything to go by—that was what she liked best. She also enjoyed having the pad of his thumb manipulate the sensitive nerves of her clit, while he fingered her throbbing core.
Soon his every touch caused a wild response. To his great satisfaction, Laura became quite vocal and the muscles of her inner channel spasmed, gripping his fingers tightly.
Somehow managing to pull his hair, despite its short length, Laura’s shuddering breaths almost sounded like sobs.
Did she just climax?
He wasn’t certain—if not she was pretty damned close. He scissored his fingers within her, massaging her on the inside. Once more he paid attention, noticing what she liked, and doing it again.
Taking her clit inside of his mouth, he gently suckled it.
“Hmmmm,” he growled, long and low with his face pressed hard against her.
To his surprise—and his great pleasure, Laura’s whole body tensed—then she exploded. Body trembling and head thrashing, he had no doubt that she came, and came hard. This time he was sure, as her silken channel rhythmically pulsed down on his fingers.
“Ah, ah, ah, yes, God yes!”
Jack was so aroused and pleased with the result, he repeated the entire technique once more, until she climaxed again.
Hearts pounding, skin misted with sweat, they panted breathlessly. Not from exertion, but from fever pitch excitement.
Now it was his turn, but he’d make sure she came again too.
Jack climbed up her body, kissing her all the way back to her mouth. Laura smiled at him with heady feminine allure. Her lips were swollen from his kisses, her green eyes dilated and heavy-lidded and her entire body flushed. A satisfied, wanton woman.
“You’ve never looked so beautiful,” he murmured.
Chuckling, she said, “Oh? Just keep up the orgasms and I’ll stay that way.”
“Anytime.” Jack grinned.
He positioned himself to enter. Recalling how tight she’d been earlier, and not wanting to hurt her, he slowly pushed himself inside of her.
They both gasped and panted as he did.
“So good,” she said with a deep sigh.
“Yes,” he bit out hoarsely, agreeing wholeheartedly.
Now, if he could just maintain his self-control, everything would be fine. What he wanted to do—what he ached for, was just let go.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t do what he wanted.
Chapter 43.
Jaw clenched, Jack buried his face in her neck while squeezing his eyes shut tight, in his effort to hold back. His entire body quivered with unspent raw, primal energy. His mind flashed with thoughts of pounding into her so hard that the bed broke.
He needed the escape. To lose himself in mad, mindless sex.
Self-restraint was usually not a problem for Jack. Self-discipline had been his lifetime mantra. How else could he have achieved his goals?
Oh, he was hard and desperate to come—no doubt about that, but this was all about her. Making love to Laura, showing her how much he cared for her.
Controlling his own needs around her was one of the most difficult things he’d ever done.
He started moving slowly, gently thrusting in and out, in and out, while stroking her breasts, kissing her throat and nuzzling into her neck. His plan was to keep this up until she climaxed.
Laura cleared her throat. “Jack?”
“Um?” he murmured and stopped moving.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Are you holding back?”
“If you’re asking, am I being careful and gentle because I love you and I want to make love to you—then, yes. I’m holding back.”
“You love me?” she asked in a small voice.
“Yes, I love you, Laura. I love everything about you.” He didn’t know why he said it, except that it was an obvious truth.
Laura just stared at him.
He said nothing.
Dammit, just what had he been thinking? Why did he have to blurt that out, now? Hadn't she had enough emotional tumult today?
Jack knew that look on her face. Shit. After years of experience with his mother and younger sister, he was well aware that it was pointless to resist.
Laura had the look of woman who wanted to talk.
He exhaled hard, trying not to make it sound like a disappointed sigh. His balls ached and his entire body was tense, protesting the sudden lack of movement.
Because she looked so confused, he rolled off of her, and propped his head up on an arm. “Hey,” he said tentatively.
No response. Laura seemed preoccupied, so he tried for humor.
“I want you to know that other than Gabriella Kowalowski—who was very special to me, as you know—I’ve never said ‘I love you’ to any other woman in the world. You’re the first.”
That made her laugh. “A high compliment, thank you.”
“Oh, except for my mom,” he added. “I was really lucky to have the mother I had. I wish you could’ve met her—she would have liked you, I know.”
“That’s nice, Jack. I’m very flattered.” Laura’s cheeks colored slightly and she looked away. Why she was embarrassed was anyone’s guess.
Jack was a compartmenting kind of guy. He dealt with things better that way—one thing at a time, everything in separate boxes, at separate times. Right now he was keeping a leash on his urgent primal needs.
He'd practically used up his self-restraint while pleasuring Laura. That was about all he could manage. He wasn’t up for any long discussion. More specifically, he had no headspace available to talk about a passionate and emotional subject like “love.”
Cupping her cheek, he pressed a gentle, almost chaste kiss on her lips.
“I love you, Laura. That’s a fact. I don’t think we need to get all worked up over it, do you? Cou
ld we talk about the whole love thing tomorrow, after a good night’s rest?”
After taking a moment to think it over she said, “OK, but Jack, I don’t want you to hold back. I want you to fuck me any way you want. Be rough and hard, or soft and slow. I don’t care. I promise you, I’ll enjoy it. I guess what I’m saying is, I can see what you’re trying to do—”
“Laura—”
“No,” she said quietly, placing her finger on his lips for a moment. Her green eyes became determined and intense, filled with emotion. “You’re being careful because you love me—no one has ever loved me like that. I can tell you want me badly, but you thought of me first. That makes me feel precious and treasured.”
“Then my work here is done.” He smirked, once more trying to return to a lighter footing.
Laura smiled. “But I want you to get what you want. No restraints Jack. I have a tiny inkling of the Hell you’ve been through—you’ve had to hold back for years. Don’t hold back with me. Just let go. Say what you want. Do whatever you want. I swear that I’ll love anything you do.”
Just let go.
Jack froze as a myriad of images ran through his mind. It was some sort of déjà vu. Just like when he was seventeen, here he was, set loose in a candy shop with way too many possibilities.
Yet this time, Laura really was the woman of his dreams.
Jack felt like an animal that had been denied water, dying of thirst and suddenly being let lose in front of a lake. Right now, he wanted to dive right in.
“You—you’re sure?”
Her green eyes gleamed mischievously, as she nodded assent.
He rolled on top of her, crushing his mouth against hers. She was pliant and willing in his arms. He tasted urgency, heat and need—his own and hers. As his hands explored her body, she gasped and arched into him, straining against him and wrapping her arms around him.
“God help me, Laura. More than anything in the world I want to fuck you—”
“Yes!”
“I need to be inside of you.”
“Yes, oh please, Jack. Now. Hurry!”
Her desperate demand triggered him, removing all hesitation. Raw, primitive instinct took over.