Somewhere deep in my conscience, there was an argument taking place between my brain, my heart, and my dick. My heart was insistent that this was a mistake, my brain agreeing, while my dick was calling them both stupid, insisting they shut up.
Not for the first time, I let my dick lead me, groaning as I succumbed to the need overwhelming me.
At some point during our heated make-out session, my boxers disappeared, as did her T-shirt, until we were skin to skin. Before I knew what I was doing, I was settled between Jamie’s thighs, her long legs wrapping around me. I held myself above her, our mouths feasting while our bodies made a desperate attempt to get closer.
My brain registered what I was doing, giving approval. I knew she was on the pill, had seen her test results at the club, and she’d seen mine as well. There were no secrets there, which my dick took to mean it was okay to do this, to slide into the furnace of her body, her pussy warm and wet as it sheathed my cock.
Her hips rocked with mine as I rode the wave of ecstasy, neither of us saying a word. No permission, no coaxing, just pure, unadulterated need. As though this was meant to be and there was nothing either of us could do to stop it.
Desperate to look in her eyes, I broke the kiss, stared down at her. Her dark hair fanned out over the pillow, her lips swollen from my kiss, eyes hooded with desire as our bodies worked in tandem.
Her nails tickled over my sides, my cock twitching inside her. I didn’t stop, rocking my hips forward, back, her pussy clamped around my cock. She felt so good. So fucking perfect.
Our eyes said everything there was to say as our bodies communicated on the most basic level. When her head tilted back, her mouth falling open, I circled my hips, burying myself as deep as I could go.
“Cav…”
I slipped one hand between us, pressed my thumb against her clit, teasing the sensitive nub as I thrust in deeper, retreated. Her soft moans, her wandering hands had my body tightening, electricity sparking at the base of my spine. She took my fucking breath away.
I worked her to a frenzy, watched as she slipped over the edge, my name on her lips. Only then did I kiss her again, fusing my lips to hers as I began fucking her in earnest, driving us both higher and higher with every thrust of my hips until I couldn’t hold on any longer. I fought back as long as possible, riding the waves of pure ecstasy that I found in her body. And when her pussy clamped down on my cock for a second time, I swallowed her cry of release at the same time I allowed myself to tip over the edge.
Two hours later, I woke to the sound of someone pounding on the door. When my eyes opened, it took a moment to orient myself.
My hotel room.
I glanced over.
My girl.
The banging sounded again, and I forced myself to get up, pulling the sheet up and over Jamie. I grabbed my boxers, pulled them on as I made my way to the door.
I knew who it was, wasn’t sure what I would say to him, but I opened the door anyway.
Edge didn’t wait for an official invitation before he pushed past me.
“What do you want?” I asked, the heat I’d expected in my tone absent.
He glanced over at the bed, turned back. Edge exhaled and I could see the concern drift away. Evidently, he hadn’t known she’d left. For a brief second, I felt a bit of sympathy for him.
It passed quickly, my frustration with him returning. I headed for the small coffeepot on the bathroom counter. I needed caffeine if I was going to deal with this now.
As I popped one coffee pod into the machine, I could feel Edge’s eyes on me. I was waiting for him to unleash, to somehow turn last night around and make it my fault.
“Look at me.” Edge’s words were laced with an emotion I couldn’t name.
When the coffee started to drip into the paper cup, I turned to face him, giving him my full attention.
“I was wrong,” he said quickly.
I was tempted to stick my fingers in my ears, clear them.
Only then did I look at him. Really look at him.
Edge was still wearing the clothes he’d had on last night. The jacket was gone, the top two buttons of his shirt open, his sleeves rolled up. He looked a little worse for wear.
When he didn’t say anything more, I turned back to the coffeemaker, stared at it. Placing my palms on the counter, I tried to gather my thoughts. There were so many things I wanted to say to this man, but I didn’t know where to start. He deserved to hear from me exactly how he made me feel, the anger, the hurt, even the love. But the words didn’t form, my brain scrambled from all the emotion.
Then all thought fled when his hands flattened against my back, sliding up and over my shoulders, kneading once, twice before he leaned in and pressed his lips to the back of my neck.
“I’m sorry, Cav. So fucking sorry.”
That seemed to be a theme today. Everyone apologizing. It should’ve been a sign. For the three of us to be so out of sync this early on, surely that was a sign that this wasn’t where we were supposed to be.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t believe that. Not even after hours of trying to convince myself that we’d gotten ahead of ourselves. That we were trying to make something out of nothing.
But it damn sure didn’t feel like nothing.
Edge released me, then took my arm, urging me to turn around. With a sigh, I did, looking into his eyes. They were bright, fierce.
“I fucked up, Cav. I know that.”
I didn’t tell him he was right. I didn’t have to. He had fucked up.
Royally.
Perhaps he thought I was trying to come up with an argument, because he leaned in, tilting my head back with a firm hand before his lips slid over mine. For a second, I considered resisting him, but it was futile. I didn’t want to. For so damn long, I’d wanted this man. Not just his body, either. More. I’d always wanted more from Edge. I knew if we gave in to it, the sex would be phenomenal. We’d proven that. There was chemistry there, a connection we’d denied for a long damn time.
Edge moved in closer, pinning me against the counter as he held my head, controlled the kiss. I kept my fingers curled around the edge of the counter, not willing to release it for fear I’d fall too far. He kept me off-kilter, always had. I had the right to be pissed at him. His need to be in control, to hold the reins had come between us.
“Christ, Cav,” he muttered against my mouth, trying to get closer.
The torment I heard in his voice had me reaching for him then, jerking him closer, banding him tightly in my arms as the kiss ignited. We fed off one another, giving, taking, all the while trying to hold back.
Who knew where it would’ve gone if Jamie hadn’t cleared her throat from outside the door.
Edge instantly stilled, his hand still on my head, our breaths mingling as we tried to pull ourselves back from the brink.
“I’m gonna go,” she said softly.
Edge didn’t release me, but he did lift his head, his eyes meeting mine. “No,” he said, speaking to her. “I’ll go.”
I kept my mouth shut, not sure what to say to either of them.
“You don’t have to,” she said, her voice louder as she inched closer to the exit.
“Jamie,” I warned. “Don’t.”
Edge stepped back, giving me space to stand. I stared over at her. She was gearing up to flee and I was torn. Tempted to let her, desperate to stop her.
I glanced at Edge, noticed his jaw bunching as he stood there, staring at her. He was pissed, probably furious at her for leaving him. I didn’t know exactly what had transpired between them after I left, but I could feel the tension. It intensified the longer we stood there, no one saying a word.
When she reached for the door this time, I touched Edge’s arm. He was about to say something, but he held it back. If Jamie needed to leave, then we would let her.
“Jamie?” Edge called out when she opened the door.
Her brown eyes were dark, tormented as she glanced back at the two of us.
&
nbsp; “This isn’t over,” he noted.
She gave a curt nod but didn’t stick around to hear any more.
And when the door clicked shut behind her, I had to wonder if Edge was wrong about that.
EIGHTEEN
EDGE
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
AFTER LEAVING CAV’S ON MONDAY, I’D GONE back to my apartment. Knowing Cav and Jamie needed time, I decided to give it to them. So, I showered, ran through my emails, had coffee, ate lunch. I did everything I could think to keep myself busy until it became impossible to sit still.
Coward.
Yes, I was. Not for the first time in my life, I was running from a problem rather than working to fix it. Ever since that fateful day so long ago, I’d never allowed a situation to escalate without soothing away the nerves, the tempers. It had cost me then and I couldn’t risk it costing me now. However, I knew time would be essential in this case, and if this was going to work the way I wanted, I had to come up with a plan. Not on the fly, not merely to soothe but to resolve.
My brain was working overtime, my need to fix everything overwhelming me. That was in my nature, something my past had bred into me. I was a fixer, hence the reason I felt everything needed to be black and white, never straddling the gray line. If rules were followed, plans were made, there was less room for mishap.
Yeah? How’d that work for your father? His world dissolved despite his desperate attempt to keep order.
I ignored the voice, refusing to think about my parents, to the problems they’d had. Problems they’d hidden from me for most of my life. He had loved my mother, and, in the end, she’d used that love against him.
I did not want to end up there, sitting in a stark white room while the world went on outside the walls, my brain the only interaction I had. The way she had.
Rather than dwell on the issues—past and present—knowing obsessing over it wasn’t going to fix anything, I had headed to the club, where I spent the majority of the next couple of days, thinking, planning, organizing. I wasn’t sure what spurred me to do it—merely restless energy or something else entirely—but it helped to clear my mind.
By the time Tuesday evening rolled around, I felt as though I’d boxed myself in, wanting something spontaneous while giving in to routine.
Whose fault is that? Oh, right. Yours.
Closing my eyes, I pressed my fingers against the pressure. I had a class to instruct, which meant I didn’t have time for my own problems. But I did have something to look forward to. Seeing Cav and Jamie would go a long way toward easing some of the strain. Since I hadn’t heard from either of them, I was beginning to think that wasn’t going to happen. The closer the hands on the clock inched toward eight, the more I thought for sure that was going to be the case.
Imagine my surprise when I walked into the training room at three minutes till to find Cav and Jamie at the front of the room while others began filing in. My gaze swung to them repeatedly while the others settled. When Talon finally graced us with his presence at exactly eight, I shook off my personal issues and addressed the class.
I had intended to cover the topic of communication between a Dom and their submissive, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not when I was a failure in that department. So I decided to improvise.
“Although we spent a lot of time in the classroom last week, that won’t be the case going forward,” I announced. “There’s only so much you can learn through me standing up here. Most of what you need to know involves your interactions with the trainers. We’ll start this week by addressing limits. I’d like the Masters to identify a soft limit and explore it with their submissive. Whether it be in the dungeon, observing a scene, or in a theme room experiencing it. Masters’ choice. Tomorrow, we’ll reconvene, discuss the experience, so pay attention. Not only to your feelings, but also to your reactions to various situations. Most importantly, be sure to discuss openly with your trainers.” I forced a smile. “When they give you permission, of course.”
A couple of chuckles sounded, followed by the rustling of chairs, a few commands issued by trainers as they led their charges out of the room. Jane cut a quick look my way, shot a grin before closing the door behind her.
When everyone had left except for Cav and Jamie, I joined them on the far side of the room. Perching on the edge of the table, I glanced between the two of them. Cav was leaning casually against the wall, Jamie kneeling on the floor.
“I’m sure I can restructure the—”
“Shut up,” Cav snapped, pushing off the wall.
Ouch. Looks like he’s taking the reins.
Anger flared hot and bright, setting my defenses in place. I swallowed my own damn pride, then got to my feet. “I know our personal issues have no business here.”
“What are you talkin’ about?” Cav shot out, moving closer. “No business here? As in that’s completely separate?”
“Yes.”
“How do you figure? I thought you were a Dom outside these walls, too? A man who’s aligned his life to mirror this lifestyle? Isn’t that what all this is about in the first place?”
I squared off with him.
When Jamie had left my bed early Monday morning, her exit hadn’t gone unnoticed. I’d been awake and not that far behind as she slipped into the hall as silently as possible. Although I had wanted to go after her, to make her face the issue, I’d done the opposite, running from it myself. My half-ass apology to Cav seemed to have disappeared right along with everything else that had transpired in the past week.
“I’m not playing a game,” I assured him.
Oh, but you are. You just won’t accept it.
“Could’ve fooled me.”
“Look,” I bit out with a hefty sigh. “I know I fucked up. I apologized. I won’t blame the two of you if—”
Cav cut me off, stepping into my personal space. “Shut up while you’re ahead, Edge.”
I glared at him, unable to come up with a rebuttal.
“Is that how this works?” Cav asked, waving around the room as he paced away. “You stand up here, tell the submissives what they should and shouldn’t do, what a Dom should and shouldn’t do, but you don’t heed your own advice?”
“I—”
Cav spun around and pointed at me. “I said shut up.”
I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen him this pissed off before.
You bring out the best in people.
“We’re here tonight because we want to be here.” He shot a look at Jamie, who was still kneeling, her head down. “Not because we’re obligated.” His gaze cut to mine. “You, on the other hand…”
“I’m not obligated to do anything,” I countered.
Unless it’s in the plan. Then it must be followed. Right?
“You’re the teacher, Edge. The professor. Tell me you don’t have an obligation to this class.”
“Sure, I do, but—”
“You’re always spoutin’ shit about how communication is key,” he continued, speaking over me. “Yet you’re the fucking worst at communication.” He paused, swallowed. “The other night, you decided to control the situation, to mold it the way you expected it to play out. Without bothering to find out what we wanted.”
I didn’t argue. That much was true.
Because it’s always true.
“And now you’re gonna realign the class, to push us away because what? It’s the easy way out?”
“Fuck you,” I hissed. “I don’t take the easy way out.”
He barked a laugh, his eyes hard. “You’ve always taken the easy way out, Edge. You’ve got this idea of what perfection looks like. The perfect submissive, perfect Dom. Hell, the perfect relationship. And if it doesn’t conform, if it’s not simple, you avoid it. Not just in your personal relationships, either.”
“Bullshit.”
He cocked his head. “Have you given Parker an answer on becoming partner?”
“That has nothing to do with this.”
He snarled. �
��It has everything to do with this. If it’s too much of a complication, you nix the idea. If there’s the possibility of confrontation, you avoid it. If it’s not easy, you go the opposite direction. Hell, if I had to guess, you’re considering quittin’ either the club or Chatter because it’s too much for you.”
Damn, he’s got your number.
I focused on breathing. In, out.
“Well, I don’t much care for easy,” he said, his tone softening somewhat. “What I do care about is you and Jamie. That’s why I’m here. Not because of your stupid fucking training. I know what I need to know. And to be honest, Jamie doesn’t need formal training. This lifestyle you’ve focused on … it’s not who you are, but somewhere along the way, you lost sight of that.” He walked over to Jamie. “Stand, cupcake.”
Jamie took his hand, allowed him to help her to her feet.
“Tonight, we’re gonna take a page out of your book, Edge. We’re gonna show her what it means to tackle the hard things, to step out of your comfort zone.” He placed a hand on the small of her back and urged her toward the door. “And I hope like fucking hell you learn something.”
When he walked out, I remained where I was for a moment.
Don’t you dare let them walk away. You’re a fucking fool if you do.
Cav was right. I did take the easy way out. I ran the other direction in order to avoid it if I thought there was too much work to be done. It was the very reason I’d avoided Justin for so long. My job had been cushy, easy. Why change? Then he had beaten me down, and to avoid confrontation, I’d caved. Now I had a job that paid me significantly more than my last and I was considering bailing on them.
Because it wasn’t fucking easy.
Take a page from your own book.
Yeah.
Cav was right. It was high time I did.
Jamie
I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN I came to the club tonight, but that … Cav’s blowup certainly hadn’t been it.
Their Naughty Student (Office Intrigue, 6) Page 34