by Zoe York
The house was big, but it was divided into three separate apartments. The front half of the house, both stories, would be their personal space. Two bedrooms upstairs, one already claimed by Emily, the other for Natasha. In between was a bathroom with a big clawfoot tub that had seen better days.
From the rear of the house there were separate entrances to two studio apartments that both needed a lot of work to be functional again. He stole another kiss in the second one.
“We should get back,” she whispered against his mouth.
“Definitely.”
They kissed again instead, and by the time they got to his truck to grab her bed frame, her cheeks were pink and her lips were swollen.
Meredith gave him an approving look when they passed each other on the walk.
After they set up her bed in the cozy front bedroom, Natasha left him and Dan to carry up the dressers while she ordered pizza for lunch.
The day flew by in unpacking and scrubbing and cleaning, and by the time the afternoon light was fading, Meredith’s family was piling into their van. Matt headed back inside to give Emily and Natasha a few minutes to say goodbye in private.
There wasn’t really enough pizza left over for dinner, so when they came back inside, he offered to take them to dinner. “My treat,” he said, “to celebrate a really big day.”
“It should be my treat,” Natasha insisted. “By way of thanks.”
“Sure. But I’ve been angling for a dinner date with the two of you for months now.”
“We had lunch last week,” she protested. “And it hasn’t been months.”
Seven long weeks. “Feels like it,” he said gently. “From the minute I met you—and you,” he added, looking at Emily, who’d twisted herself around her mother’s legs, “I knew I wanted to spend a lot of time with you both.”
“With me?” Emily beamed at him.
“Yep.” It hit him squarely in the chest just how seriously he meant that. “Now, how about dinner?”
They went in Natasha’s Jeep, because Emily’s car seat was already installed in the back. He rode shotgun and gave directions to the pub the Army guys often hit up after training on Wednesday nights.
It had been a while, and he didn’t recognize anyone there, which was good. They grabbed a table, Emily claiming the chair between her mom and Matt.
They ordered burgers all around, with Emily’s coming in the form of two mini sliders. Natasha gave her a small dollop of ketchup on the side of her French fries and made her promise to actually eat her fries, and not just the sauce.
Emily carefully triple-dipped her fries, then took a bite every time her mom gave her a look. “I’m eating them slowly,” she said.
Natasha made a disbelieving noise.
“I bet I can eat a fry even slower than you,” Matt said, picking one up off his plate. No ketchup for him, just salt and vinegar. He took the tiniest nibble.
Emily giggled and matched him.
He did it again, and she repeated it, all the way down the fry.
“Fine, you got me. You can eat a fry just as slow as me.” He exaggerated a sigh. “But can you eat one faster than me? Should we race?”
“Okay.” Emily picked one up. “One-two-three-go.”
“That’s cheating,” Matt protested, gobbling his fry down.
She giggled and grabbed another one. “One-two-three—”
“Go!”
They kept that up until both of their plates were clean and Emily was curled up in her mom’s lap.
Matt leaned back in his chair. “So, I met your sister and survived to tell the tale.”
“Dan’s the one you need to watch out for.” Tasha glanced at Emily, and Matt guessed at the unspoken next sentence. Her brother-in-law didn’t like the ex.
Good. Matt imagined there was a lot not to like about the guy. Although since the ex was Emily’s dad, that probably wasn’t the healthiest attitude.
Would Matt get a chance to meet him? How would that go?
Not fucking well. He should work on that attitude more just in case. He grinned. “I like Dan. And your sister. They seem genuinely nice.”
“They really are.” She lowered her voice. “We weren’t that close in the past—they married young, and have a delightfully square life, so they had lots of concern about my lifestyle that I read as judgement. But as soon as I found out I was pregnant, they didn’t hesitate to take me in. Not just that, they were happy to have me.” She ran her hand over Emily’s curls. “Have both of us. They’re so close to Emily now. It’s going to be a hard transition. Isn’t it, baby?”
Emily gave her a sleepy smile and yawned.
By the time they got back to the house, Emily’s eyes were drifting shut. “I want a story,” she protested as Natasha handed Matt the keys so he could unlock the front door.
“Sure thing.”
The stairs were immediately inside, so Matt got out of the way and Natasha started to climb.
“I want Matt, too,” Emily whispered.
His heart squeezed. Natasha glanced at him, and he gestured that he would follow.
She hit the light at the top of the stairs and quietly stepped into Emily’s room. They’d transformed it this afternoon. The rest of the house was empty, echo-y, and waiting for Natasha to pour her personality into the rooms, but this space was cozy and perfect.
Dark curtains covered the unfamiliar window. A low, wide dresser was covered in toys, a rug warmed up the floor, and her wee toddler bed had pink princess bedding ready for her to curl up in.
Even though she was nearly asleep, her eyes still popped open when her head touched the pillow. “Story,” was the stern reminder.
“Please,” her mother said before picking a short book off the shelf.
“Please,” Emily whispered, her eyes drifting shut again.
By the time the book was done, she was out like a light.
Matt led the way back downstairs.
“It’s weird how empty this place is,” Natasha said once they were on the main level. “Do you want a drink?”
He grinned. “Sure.”
“As you know, we’re working on limited resources here,” she said as he followed her into the kitchen. She opened the only occupied cupboard that held her handful of dishes, plus some paper plates and plastic cutlery. And behind those, a bag of…pink cups.
“Emily picked these out?” He closed the gap between them and grabbed the bag.
She twisted in his arms. “Yes.”
“Cute.” But he wasn’t looking at the cups anymore. He was looking at her. “Really cute.”
“You’re distracting me from getting us drinks.”
“Right. What did you want?”
She lifted her chin, her eyes bright, and her lips parted. You. She didn’t actually say it, but she didn’t need to.
They came together. Neither of them made the first move, but suddenly they were kissing. Soft, endless tastes that made his head spin and his balls pull tight. He braced his hand against the cupboards and arched over her. Deeper, hotter, until they were both panting.
He’d made some crazy promises to take things slow. Then he’d blown that out of the water two weeks ago, although he’d been good since.
“You are irresistible,” he finally said, tugging on one of her braids.
Her eyes flashed dark and glittery as she smiled up at him. “A girl likes to hear that.”
“Should we have that drink?”
She nodded. And she didn’t move.
He chuckled and kissed her cheek before reaching into the cupboard again and grabbing two glasses.
“I have beer,” she said. “Or rye.”
He made a face.
“I have ginger ale too, if you want a mix.”
“I drank it on ice when you served it to me last time.”
She winked. “And you hated every sip. A bartender knows.”
He groaned. “Damn it. I was trying to impress you.”
“You impress me by ha
ving French fry races with my daughter. I don’t care what you drink.”
“Then a beer sounds great.”
She grabbed him a bottle from the ancient fridge, and he twisted off the cap while she poured herself a shot of rye, neat.
He held out the bottle. “To your first night in your new home.”
She smiled and clinked her glass against the bottleneck.
They drank together in companionable silence, exchanging warm, curious looks. Sizing each other up, maybe, although they’d already shared so much.
He knew Natasha better than any woman he’d ever been with—and there was still so much more to know.
When she shifted closer, bumping against him, he snagged the elastic holding in one of her braids and tugged it loose, then the other. She shook out her hair for him and leaned back against the counter.
He remembered something he’d wanted to ask her. “Hey, when you said your sister and brother-in-law judged you in the past…”
She held up her hand. “Well they didn’t. I just thought they did. Perception is a funny thing like that.”
“Got it.”
“It’s important to me that I don’t cast them in a bad light.”
“Of course.” He tipped his head to the side and looked at her carefully. “But I want you to know that everything you share…I like all of it. I find you endlessly fascinating and interesting. I want to hear more about your nomadic life and your adventures.”
“Nomadic. I like that description.”
“Is it accurate? That’s what it sounds like to me.”
“Yeah. For years, I left most of my stuff at my parents’ place, and had a bag or two in the back of my Jeep. I’ve put so many kilometres on that thing—I had the engine replaced just before I found out I was pregnant with Emily. It was like having a whole new car again.”
“Where did you go?”
“Up north to Elliot Lake and the Sault. South to Toronto. Wherever the wind would take me.”
“For work?”
She made a face. “For David, more often than not.”
“Ah. And that fuelled some of the tension with your sister?”
“They never liked him. Never understood…”
“What you saw in him?”
She nodded. “Yep, pretty much. David is…slick. Now I see that, but before…he had a certain appeal right up until the moment he very much didn’t. In hindsight, he was a mess. I didn’t see it when we were together, because he wore a good mask. But as soon as I found out I was pregnant, suddenly it was like I could see him for who he really was.” She shook her head. “And I think there are reasons there, you know? Why he copes with life in such dysfunctional ways.” She gave him a bright smile, a little bit forced. “Anyway, none of this is about him. That’s just why I have some trust issues, and why my sister and brother-in-law are so protective. But you’re nothing like him. You’re more like me, I think. Wary but pragmatic.”
Matt wasn’t sure he was quite worthy of that assessment. But Jesus Christ, he didn’t want to be anything like her ex, either. He made a private vow that he wouldn’t let his own struggles impact her. He wouldn’t wallow in them, wouldn’t let them consume this wonderful friendship he’d discovered.
“Pragmatic,” he said slowly. “Yeah, that’s the goal. Hey…” He took a deep breath. “Since you live closer now, and I’m going to be obnoxious in my regular visits, how would you feel about me telling Jake about our friendship?”
She looked at him, not blinking, for agonizingly long seconds. Then she nodded. “I guess it’s time.”
“You sure? Because—”
She cut him off with her mouth, both of their drinks clumsily landing on the counter beside him. She tasted like whiskey and fire and sweet, victorious pride.
They kissed until they were both breathless, and then she hugged him.
Simple, long, hard.
“I’m sure,” she whispered in his ear.
He wanted to pick her up and carry her upstairs, but tonight was her night to celebrate her independence. Her motherhood and her dreams.
“I should go,” he whispered back.
“You’ll be back soon?” She looked up at him, her face soft and shining and beautiful.
Damn fucking straight.
“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.” He leaned in and tasted her pride one more time. “I’m so impressed, Tasha. With this house, and your fierce mama bear routine, and all of your dreams. Every bit of you impresses me, and I want more.”
He just hoped that he could live up to being what she deserved.
Chapter Fifteen
Matt drove all the way home in silence, then went to bed without turning on the TV. He woke up before the ass-crack of dawn, driven out of bed by enthusiasm rather than anxiety for once, which was a nice change of pace. But even so, it was too early to politely drop by to have the long-overdue conversation with his brother.
That almost didn’t stop him, because he was riding so high on the night before—even with only a few hours sleep.
Who needed rest? Overrated in the face of something as special as a friends-with-responsibilities relationship with the sexiest, sweetest woman in the entire county.
Instead of waking Jake up, he drove out to the Search and Rescue team’s training facility to burn off some steam first. A run didn’t feel like it would be enough. He needed to burn.
He flashed his EMS badge at the gate to the provincial park, then carefully crawled at the indicated speed limit until he got to the clearing with the lodge and the climbing and rappelling tower.
He had the space all to himself, which suited him just fine.
He parked beside the tower, then grabbed some rope from the shed around back. It was cold, so he left his coat on at first, but once he got going, he shucked it off and let the movement keep him warm instead.
The exercise, and his burning thoughts.
He didn’t want to become Natasha’s dirty secret—or vice versa. She hadn’t made him feel like that, at all, but there was an unexpected pride bursting forth from within him.
Inside the four walls of her house, everything felt right. Perfect. He could live for more nights like last night, and not just because of her. Hell, he’d already fallen head over heels for her kid. Watching her put Emily to bed last night, he’d thought, why didn’t I meet them three years ago? Why couldn’t it have been me that made this amazing little girl? But that wasn’t the right time.
She’d have hated him then.
Or loved him for a single night before seeing him for all that he wasn't. Whatever, he didn’t want to dwell on what could have been.
But right now, they were at a crossroads.
She wanted to date him. But he got the strong feeling that she saw her future as just her and her daughter.
He could take that as rejection, that there was no future between them. This was all he got, which would painfully be everything he hadn’t known he wanted, and still not enough at the same time.
He landed heavily on the platform at the top and sucked in a painful breath. It would be a fucking cruel twist for the universe to show him all he’d been missing this whole time, then take it away in the next breath.
Except he didn’t think the universe would be that hard on Natasha. Him, maybe. He deserved to be taken down a peg or two. But her? She’d been through enough.
No, the universe had put him in her path for a reason.
Now he just needed to figure out how to show her that.
“What are you doing here?”
He looked over the edge of the railing and saw Tom Minelli standing in the clearing below the tower. “I could ask you the same thing.”
“You talked your way past the gate staff, and they called me to find out if there was training happening this morning that I’d forgotten to put on the schedule.”
“Sorry about that.”
“It’s fine. I was heading out here this morning anyway. What’s going on?”
“N
othing. Just felt like climbing.”
“Without a spotter?”
“I’m in one piece.”
Tom laughed. “It’s my job to point out that’s not safe.”
“Yeah, well I had a lot on my mind, and breaking down my brother’s door at six in the morning seemed like a bad idea.”
“Excuse me?”
He’d meant to mutter that under his breath, but it had clearly carried. “It’s a long story.”
Tom held up a Thermos. “I’ve got coffee. Or we could go hit Mac’s if you’re hungry.”
Matt wrapped the rope around his arm and tested his hold. “No.”
“You coming down?”
“Yeah.” He swung his leg out, then grabbed the rope with his other hand, confidently descending. “See?” he said once he was on the ground. “Undamaged.”
“Don’t let anyone else on the team see you do that.”
“Sure thing, Dad.”
“I rescind the offer to share my coffee.” Tom led the way over to the training lodge, opening the door. “It’s also fucking cold out, you idiot.”
“I’ve got gloves on. It’s good practice.”
Tom just shook his head. “Come on in. Sean’s on his way, too, so if he’s the brother you’re pissed at, this could get awkward.”
“I’m not pissed off at anyone.”
Tom ignored that and crossed to the kitchenette.
Matt hung his head. Fuck. He hated it when Tom went all Zen and philosophical.
He should leave.
He didn’t.
When his friend returned, holding a steaming mug of coffee in one hand, and a couple of creamers in the other, he took them and doctored his coffee.
“So that’s a no to telling me what’s going on?”
“That’s a fuck right off with your nosy questions.”
“Nice language.”
Matt closed his eyes. “I’ve met a woman. And don’t say that I meet women every day, because that stopped a long time ago. This woman…I met her months ago, man. Months. And I haven’t been able to get her off my mind since. She’s perfect.”
“That’s the worst problem to have,” Tom said mockingly. “My fucking condolences, you selfish prick.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m lucky. It’s just that today, this morning, I’m realizing I may want more than she can give me right now.”