"Braith, it's time to redo the vote."
"Can't it wait?" he demanded.
"It's fine." Aria pulled away from him. She wiped at her eyes as she took a step back. She wouldn't meet his gaze, or Jack's, as she focused on the far wall.
"Aria—"
"I'm fine, Braith. I'm just worn out, it's been a grueling road to get here, and it's catching up with me. I'll be fine after a good night of sleep."
He didn't want to leave her while she seemed so overcome with emotion.
“Go on,” she said. “Give me a minute to wash up, and I'll be down."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
She smiled tremulously. "Fine."
Reluctantly, he left her behind as he joined his brother in the doorway. Jack's jaw was locked and his gaze worried as he looked to Aria. She didn't look at either of them as she turned to the pitcher on the old nightstand and poured some water into a bowl.
Aria slipped one of the gray cloaks around her shoulders and pulled up the hood before sneaking out of the house. She knew she wouldn't make it far before Braith realized she wasn't there, but luckily Gideon had taken up residence only two doors away. She trembled with trepidation as she moved through the shadows.
This was the path she’d always thought she would take; the path that would lead to an early death. She had not chosen this path but rather, it had picked her. She hoped Jack was right, that they could somehow dilute Braith's blood in her system.
It wouldn’t be a happy life without him, but as miserable as she would be, and even if she wasn't with him, she was also excited to see how everything would turn out. She was eager to see what Braith would do as a leader and the changes he would make. She knew they would be good changes, and it would be a better world for those under his leadership.
All she needed to do was focus on the people whose lives would be saved as a result of her choices. Lives that would be far better than anything she had experienced. Braith would be kind, and he would be fair.
She was willing to do everything she could to see this terrible situation through, including going to Gideon now. Hopefully, Braith would eventually find a way to forgive her and move on. The possibility he would always hate her nearly broke her.
If Jack was wrong about being able to dilute Braith's blood with another vampire's, then there was only one solution, and she was sure Jack would never be willing to carry it out. Jack wouldn’t allow her to be harmed, and he most certainly would not be the one to do it.
Gideon would understand, and though he wasn't an evil man, she felt he would have no qualms about ending her life to ensure peace.
She stopped outside Gideon’s door, twisted the knob, and slid silently into Gideon's temporary house. She found him in the study; the candle before him highlighted the shadows and planes of his face. He looked up at her as she entered.
He didn't seem surprised to see her when she slid the hood of her cloak back. "I spoke with Jack and Ashby."
Gideon’s hand curled around the pen he held. "I see."
She was silent as she gathered her courage to speak. Once she uttered these words, she would never be able to take them back. "I understand what needs to be done."
Gideon placed his pen down. "You do?"
Tears shimmered in her eyes before she blinked them back, thrust out her chin, and nodded firmly. "I do."
"He cannot know about this."
"He never will."
"Your relationship cannot progress."
She flinched; did everyone know their business? For a moment, she thought her composure would crumble. "It won't," she whispered.
Aria remained silent as the flame flickered over Gideon's features. What was she doing here? The right thing, or at least that's what she told herself. But was it the right thing?
She was betraying Braith; she was going behind his back and plotting something that would devastate him. This was right on so many levels, but it was wrong on so many others. Guilt tugged at her heart; perhaps if she went to Braith...
She broke off the thought. He would never agree to let her go. He would never listen to reason. Jack was right; if she went to Braith and told him everything, he would take her and leave here tonight. There were so many things she loved about him; his determination, his stubbornness, and his love for her were among the things she loved most.
Unfortunately, those three things worked against all of them now. This was wrong, she would hate herself forever because of it, but she could live with that as long as this all worked out and Braith established the world she knew he could.
She turned away from Gideon, but her step was not so sure or as silent as she made her way to the door.
"You know what this may mean for you?" he asked.
She stopped in the doorway, and her head turned back as she studied him over her shoulder. "If we are unable to dilute his blood in me, my death may be the only solution to separating us for good."
"And you accept this?" he asked.
"It's what I came to you for," she breathed, half fearful he would refuse to be the one to do it. She'd taken a risk coming to him for this; it could all backfire on her.
"No one else can know about this."
There it was then; the deal was struck. If another vampire's blood, and distance, did not break Braith's ability to track her, they both understood what would have to happen.
She would die, and Gideon would be the one to do it.
"They won't," she vowed.
Chapter Seventeen
"Would you like to take a walk?"
Aria turned away from the window she’d been staring out. She was doing everything she could to keep up a brave front and act normal. But it was harder than anything she'd ever done in her life.
They were leaving tomorrow; she was actually looking forward to plunging back into those hideous swamps. At least it would help keep her mind off everything, and it meant they would be getting closer to the war; a war she desperately wanted over.
Braith leaned against the frame of the doorway. His dark hair was disheveled, and an amused gleam shone in his eyes as he lazily perused her. Heat flooded her body; her toes curled as that look seemed to sear right through her clothes and straight into her flesh. It took everything she had to focus her attention on his words again.
She frowned at the book clasped carelessly in his elegant fingers. Then she recalled she'd been the one to take it from Gideon's home. She'd forgotten she even had it, but he must have found it in her bag.
It was Ivanhoe; she knew that without having to see the title. It was the first book they’d read together, the one he’d used to teach her how to read. Aria had vowed not to cry anymore; she'd chosen her path, but even so, she battled the tears threatening to break free at the sight of the book and the memories it elicited.
"Jack tells me there's a lake close by," he said.
"There is," she confirmed.
He smiled. "Then let's go explore it."
They had little time left together; she was not going to spend it moping. She would cherish every moment, not cry and ruin everything from here on out. "I'd love to."
Her legs trembled as she stood; she'd been sitting for a while, but Aria recovered quickly and smiled at him as she claimed his hand. "I never knew you were a thief."
She laughed as he waved the pilfered book in front of her. "I forgot I had it," she admitted.
"I'm sure."
They didn't talk as they moved through the woods, they didn't have to. Aria inhaled the scents of the forest. Beneath the leaves, dirt, and musty animals, she could also pick up the hint of fresh water and fish. It was wonderful.
The lake emerged from the woods, shimmering in the early morning sunlight. She wanted nothing more than to jump in it, swim to the middle, and float there for hours. She longed to feel joy over something so simple again. Joy she feared she would lose when all this was over.
Braith sat with his back against a tree; the dark glasses remained free from his magnificent face.
His smile was one of the most breathtaking things she'd ever seen. It was indolent at the moment and focused solely on her as he held out his hand.
When she took it, he pulled her smoothly into his lap. He settled her securely against him as he rested his chin on her head and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist.
"I thought you could use a break," he said.
"I could," she admitted. "But you could also."
"Yes," he agreed.
She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes as she reveled in the reassuring feel of his body. This entire moment was beautiful. She wanted to pretend it was one of many and there were endless days before them to sit together, read together, and simply enjoy the company of each other. To pretend there wasn't a clock ticking steadily away at their remaining time.
She kept her eyes closed as her fingers curled against him. He opened the book and began to read to her. She loved the sound of his voice, the deep timbre of it, and subtle nuances he inflected into the story. She knew this story almost by heart, but she still loved to hear him read it. Listening to him had become her favorite pastime while in the palace.
When his voice grew tired after a while, she opened her eyes and took the book from him to continue reading. She was about halfway through the book when she realized he’d worked the braid from her hair. His attention was riveted on her hair as he spread it across her shoulders and played idly with the ends.
Her throat went dry when she lifted her gaze to his. The book in her lap was forgotten as she focused on those beautiful gray eyes with the bright blue band encircling the pupil. Though they were over a hundred years old, the faint white scars around his eyes were still visible. Her fingers trembled as she traced the jagged edges of the marks.
He took her hand and pressed a tender kiss on her fingertips. Her body tingled with excitement. She was suddenly breathless, aching, and vulnerable as his mouth moved across her palm to press against her wrist.
So caught up in the love he stirred in her, she couldn’t move. She watched in fascination while he pushed her sleeves back and continued further up her arm.
His eyes never left hers as his lips nestled in the crook of her elbow. Though she knew she should tell him to stop, she couldn't break the eye contact or the intimacy between them.
This was one of the things she wasn't supposed to let happen, but as she thought that, her body screamed for more. They both deserved this time alone, and she was going to enjoy it for a few minutes more.
He lifted his head from her elbow; his hand wrapped around her neck as he pulled her closer. He held her against him with his lips brushing hers. She was frightened her heart might explode in her chest as it quickened in anticipation. And then, when she thought she couldn't take anymore and would scream in frustration, he kissed her.
Solace swept through her, her fingers entwined in the hair at his nape as she pressed closer to him and the suffering within her eased. All her nerve endings lit with fire as the flames he ignited consumed her.
He shifted her in his lap, so she straddled him with her legs wrapped around his waist. His hand moved steadily up her back and maneuvered under her shirt to press flat against her skin. She moaned at the glorious sensation of him.
She hadn't realized how much she needed this and how much she missed his touch. How starved her body had been until now. And now, he fed her starved soul as his tongue became more demanding.
Aria lost herself to his urgency. She recognized the passionate, almost desperate need within him. She desired him, but she realized her craving was nowhere near as intense as his. He would devour her, and she didn't care if he did.
And then he was pushing her back into the soft leaves. Her shirt vanished beneath the expert movement of his hands. She loved the feel of him, the weight of his body against hers, and the muscles flexing and bunching beneath her touch.
His hand was firm against the thin slip covering her. She pressed closer to him as he shifted and briefly leveled himself off her. Then his hand found the button of her pants.
Her breath froze in anticipation as her eyes fluttered open. His eyes were dark and hazy with passion when they met hers. When he kissed her again, his mouth was firm against hers, his tongue hot and heavy as he slid the button of her pants free.
Panic tore through her as reality crashed into place. She was nearly half naked, already swept up in him and more than willing to give herself to him. She yearned to ease the frustration and need pouring from him. The only thing he truly craved was her, and it was the one thing she couldn't give to him. If she didn't stop this now, she never would.
"Wait!" she gasped.
He froze against her; his hand pressed flat to her lower belly as he lifted his head to look at her. "Arianna?" The word was an anguished groan.
"I... I..." she couldn't get words out.
"Do you want me to stop?"
No, she didn't want him to stop. Her body begged for this! She needed this almost as badly as she needed air, and she couldn't have it. She almost broke and told him everything. She almost poured her heart and soul out to him, but she somehow managed to bite the words back.
She knew Braith would do everything he could for the people he would lead, but he wouldn't put them ahead of her. He believed in duty and honor, but he'd made it abundantly clear to her, and those closest to them, she was his priority. She loved him for it, but it didn't help the people who counted on him to lead.
"I just... I don't know..." she stammered.
His hand slid away from her, and a profound sense of loss filled her. Her hands clenched around his neck as she was unwilling to break their connection completely.
"You're not ready," he said.
She was unbelievably ready. She was in love with a man who would die for her. There was nothing she wanted more than to experience this moment with him.
"It's okay." He kissed her nose, her cheek, then her lips ever so lightly. "I'll be here waiting when you are."
Tears burned her eyes. She had never hated herself more than she did then. "I love you. I'll always love you."
His fingers caressed her face. "I hope so because you're stuck with me."
Nope, now she hated herself more, especially when she forced a smile to her lips. She didn't ask him why he took this so well or why he didn't become impatient with her. She already knew the answer to that: he loved her.
"How about a swim? I could use a dip in something cold," he said.
His halfhearted smile melted her heart. She wanted to finish what they’d started. She wanted to say to hell with Jack, and Gideon, and everyone else. She wanted to be selfish and finally ease the needs of her body and his. She wanted to possess him in every way and learn only the things he could teach her.
But then, she thought of Max and knew she would never do any of those things. Others out there needed help, and they had no one to save them as she and Max were rescued.
She threaded her fingers through his and pressed them against her chest and over the heart that would always belong to him. "Sounds good," she murmured.
He climbed to his feet; she hesitated, ashamed of herself, but determined to see this course through.
"Aria?" he asked.
She rose and bent to roll the legs of her pants above her knees. Her eyes widened and her mouth watered when Braith's shirt fell on top of hers. She lifted her head to marvel at the broad expanse of his shoulders and the rigid muscles etched into his chest and abdomen.
Her breath wheezed out, and heat flashed up her cheeks, not from embarrassment, but rather from her intense need for this man standing so close but, at the same time, so far away.
She had always desired him, but it had never been this relentless. She almost said "screw it all" to the world and launched herself at him, but she managed to hold herself back.
Confusion flickered over his features; she was aware her thoughts were written all over her face. She turned away from him and ran as fast as she could to escape him. She had t
o put some distance between them before she completely caved.
She didn't hesitate as she grabbed the bottom branch of a large oak, swung her leg up, and pulled herself onto it. She leapt up to the next limb, then the one above it and she raced out to the end. Aria launched herself heedlessly outward, not caring how deep the water was as she dove into it.
She kicked hard beneath the surface to push herself deeper and deeper into the lake. She swam into the cooler depths as the world under the water became darker and further removed from sunlight. Her lungs burned, her eyes were raw from straining to see, but she continued against the pain starting to seize her.
Strong hands grabbed her and dragged her from the depths of the cool water back toward a world she didn't want to face. Bursting free of the surface, she wheezed in a breath as her lungs eagerly inhaled the precious air.
"What are you doing?" Braith demanded, shaking her a little.
She shoved the mass of tangled wet hair from her eyes and forced a smile as she met his annoyed gaze. "Just seeing if I could touch the bottom."
His scowl deepened. "You didn't know if it was deep enough when you dove off that branch!"
"I've jumped into more than a few lakes in my lifetime."
He stared at her for a long moment. "Always so reckless."
His hands on her made her toes curl and heat spread through her body despite the chill of the water. Squeezing his bare arms, she savored the firm flesh and fine hairs bristling over it before she reluctantly released him. She moved onto her back and floated lazily through the water as Braith's fingers slid into hers.
Frustration boiled through him; his fingers twitched as his irritation mounted. He couldn't stand to watch as Aria labored through the swamp with her brother and the rest of the humans.
It wasn't easy for him and the other vampires, but their greater strength made it less difficult to move through the water and mud clasping at them like quicksand with each step. She looked exhausted but continued onward with her head bowed and her face scrunched in aggravation as she worked at pulling one foot out at a time.
The Captive Series 1-5 Page 54