"You have to start eating more, Aria."
Her eyes were dark and remote as she studied him. "I will.”
He knew though she said the words she would do no more than pick at the food he'd ordered brought up for her. "A bath will help you warm up."
"Yes."
She stiffly moved with him to the bathroom. He unzipped the back of her simple black dress and slid it away from her as warm water filled the tub. Though she was bared to him, he felt nothing sexual as he helped to ease her into the water.
All he aspired to do was comfort her, to protect her, to ease this for her somehow, and he still didn't know the extent of the torture his father and brother had exerted over her. Her body was still covered with faded bruises and bite marks marring her fair skin.
He unhurriedly dipped a cloth into the water and ran it over her shoulders and down her back. Aria didn't shy away from his touch; she wasn't embarrassed by it like she had been when she first came to the palace.
She drew her knees against her chest, not to hide her nudity, but in a gesture of comfort as she wrapped her arms around her legs. She rested her cheek on her knee as she watched him. Unshed tears shimmered in her eyes as he rubbed the cloth over her lower back in small, soothing circles.
"Aria—"
"I'll be okay; I just hurt."
"I know you do."
"Please don't worry about me. I'll get through this. I need time. But time seems so long now, so… empty? Maybe not empty, but wrong somehow, and I don't know how to explain it. There's this hole inside me, and all I want is for it to be filled again, but that's impossible, and I have to learn to live with it because there are no other options. I have to figure out a way to patch the hole enough so I can breathe again without feeling as if the air is suffocating me."
His hand stilled on her back; it was the most she'd said to him in the past four days. "Tell me what to do to make it better."
She frowned and her hand slipped from her legs to entwine with his. "There is nothing you can do other than being here," she murmured. "Time will help, I suppose. I've heard it heals all wounds, but I don't think this one will ever completely heal. How could it?" Tears slipped down her face; he wiped them away with the pad of his thumb. "You being here makes it better, you being with me makes it better. Together. We won, Braith, and that is more than I dared to let myself hope for."
"We did."
And she'd been so immersed in her melancholy she didn't know she'd become a hero of sorts. Daniel had stepped forward to claim his father's place, and William and Max had become his seconds in command, but Aria was the one everyone talked about, the one they whispered about in awe. The human who helped take down the king, the ex-blood slave the new king cherished. Even the vampires admired her, even more so than they had before.
Her eyes closed as he washed her back and kneaded her skin as he sought to ease the knots in her muscles.
"I knew there was a good chance we would lose someone, I prepared myself for it,” Aria said. “I know we're lucky more weren't lost, and lucky to be alive and free."
"But you still miss him."
"Yes." Her misery was palpable in that one word. "I never got to say goodbye." More tears slid down her cheeks, but he didn't brush these away; they were hers to shed. "I never had the chance to tell him I loved him again."
"He knew."
Her eyes appeared even brighter with the tears shimmering in them and the shadows outlining them. "I know, but before we separated in the past, we always said our goodbyes and exchanged our love. Caleb robbed me of that."
His hand stilled on her back, every muscle in his body froze. If his brother hadn't already been dead, he gladly would have killed him a thousand times over. He waited, unable to tear his eyes from hers as she finally spoke of his family.
"I'm mad at myself for going into the town, but I'd do it again. That's the person my father raised; it's who I am."
"It is," he agreed, still unable to bring himself to ask the questions lodged in his throat. He was desperate to know but terrified of the answers she would give him.
"I'm sorry for your losses also," she whispered.
"I suffered no losses."
"I know you weren't close with your father and brother, or Natasha, but they were still your family."
"You are my family. Jack and Melinda are my family, even Ashby has started to grow on me again, and somehow I've come to terms with the fact I've begun to like your brothers."
A small smile flickered across her lips; her eyes lit with amusement as she chuckled. The sound of her laugh warmed him and eased some of his fears.
"That surprises me, with William especially."
"He is the more annoying of the two," Braith agreed.
Her smile widened as her fingers danced over his. "My father always said one of us would have been bad enough, but two of us were a sign he was being punished for something in an ancestor's past."
Now would be the time to tell her, but he found he couldn't. Not when she was smiling again, not when there was happiness shimmering in her eyes instead of despair. Later, there would be time; they finally had time for each other, with each other.
"I'll take the punishment," he assured her.
"I hope so."
"Hell, I'll even take Max."
"I've noticed the two of you have been getting along better. I'm glad," she murmured.
"I'm glad you're glad."
A sigh escaped her, and the smile slipped away. "Would you tell me if you were bothered by the loss of your family?"
"They were my blood, but I'm not sorry they're dead. They were brutal creatures who never would have changed. If Caleb hadn't taken my father down when he did, things might have been far different, Aria. We may very well be dead. He was a powerful man and would have been far fiercer competition than Caleb. Thousands upon thousands of lives will be better because of their deaths. Including ours."
He lifted her arm gently, hoping to distract her from her thoughts as he rubbed the cloth over her ribcage. He didn't want her feeling any guilt over their deaths when he felt none. He was surprised to find her contemplating him when he placed the arm back down and took her other one.
"You must be hungry," she said.
He shook his head. There was enough for her to deal with right now without having to worry about his needs too. "Gideon brought me some blood yesterday; I'm fine."
"It's not as good."
He smiled wryly at her. "Nothing is as good as you."
He pressed a chaste kiss to the inside of her wrist, the one not as bruised and raw looking. He froze, his muscles bunched as he spotted her black-and-blue middle finger. Though the bone was healed, he knew what had been done to it. It took everything he had not to bellow in rage, but that was the last thing she needed right now.
"But it's enough," he managed to choke out.
Her fingers stroked his cheek before slipping under his chin to lift his head slightly. "I miss the bond it establishes between us."
"As do I, but not until you're better, Aria."
She turned her hand over in his and clasped his fingers. "What they did to me, Braith, you can see it all."
His hand clenched around the cloth; his shoulders stiffened as he froze. He'd tried not to think about the fact they may have taken more than her blood from her, tried not to think about the degradation she would have experienced.
It made him wish they were both alive so he could draw out their deaths in ways his father hadn't imagined possible. He'd love her no matter what; take her any way he could get her. No matter how much time it took, he'd be there to help her heal.
He swallowed as he leaned closer to her, almost afraid to hope. "What are you saying, Aria?"
She pressed her palm to his cheek. "They didn't rape me, Braith; they were waiting for you for that." She tilted her head as her thumb brushed briefly across his bottom lip. "I wouldn't have hated you if they had."
"I didn't come for you. The other things they did t
o you." His gaze focused on her finger and the lingering bites.
"You did when you could, and you came straight for me. Getting yourself, and everyone else killed for me, would have been foolish Braith. I'm glad you waited."
"I know you have nightmares." She recoiled, but he pressed her hand to his cheek before she could pull away completely. "I see the way you are now in the dark."
Her haunted eyes flitted away from him. "I didn't like being in the caves, and the dungeons…" she shuddered as she bit her lip. "They were awful. I'd like to say I'll get over it one day, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to be in enclosed spaces like that again. Maybe one day we can turn the bathroom light off though." She managed a tremulous smile as she dropped her cheek to her knee.
"The worst thing they did…" Her nose scrunched up, disgust filtered over her features as her mouth pursed. "The king forced his blood into me, to keep me alive. To punish me and try to break me, but he didn't. There may be lingering nightmares, but I'm sure I'll eventually stop having them. I'll learn to deal with my fear of entrapment and the dark, and time will eventually erase the taste."
He fought to keep his face impassive even as something malicious coiled through his gut. He hadn't realized the dark bothered her until now. She insisted he leave the bathroom light on at night, but he'd assumed it was because she no longer slept. The dungeons had left a lingering impression on her; one he suspected was more profound than his father or Caleb.
When she closed her eyes, she looked so young it took everything he had not to snatch her up and firmly declare she was never going to leave his arms again. It was a foolish thought, impossible, and one she would only resent.
"His blood was so different than yours. It was awful; I'd never tasted anything so vile." Then she was looking at him again, her eyes clear and questioning. "Why was it so different?"
"Because you belong with me." It was the most simple answer he could come up with.
"I do, don't I?"
"Yes." He hadn't meant it to, but the word came out as a low growl.
She smiled at him as her fingers flitted over his arm. "I could feel my body rebelling against his blood, fighting against its intrusion into my body. It's intrusion into you. Even my body knew only you belonged there."
She'd rendered him speechless. Emotion entwined so firmly in his chest he thought he might cry. He didn't think he'd ever done that in his life. Rage drove him, and an ardent need to keep her safe, as well as an overwhelming urge to possess her in every way.
This was different. He loved her, he'd die for her, but he realized now fear had mostly driven their relationship. Fear of her blood slave status, the fear that came of losing her, fear of failing in this war, and fear of Caleb and his father.
However, at the very center of everything they had accomplished was the two of them, and the simple miraculous gift of his love for her, and hers for him.
It had driven them both to do things they'd never imagined they could do, and in the end, they'd won. He didn't know what their future held, but no matter what, this gift had been worth every nightmare it brought them and every horror it may continue to produce.
He was astounded by the love that flared through him and pushed aside his enduring hatred toward his father and brother. They were his past, and sitting before him was a future more promising and beautiful than any he'd ever dared to hope for.
"Even if they had done more to me, I would still be glad you hadn't come. You did the right thing, Braith. It may have taken me time to heal, but they wouldn't have broken me. I'm not breakable; I may be shaken right now, but I'm not broken."
She was grieving and trying to come to terms with the abuse she suffered and the loss of her father, but she wasn't broken. "You'll make a remarkable queen, Arianna."
She became rigid; her eyes widened as she stared at him. "Braith, I'm aware they won't accept me as a human."
He pushed the long strands of her dark auburn hair behind her ear. He relished in the silken feel of her skin beneath the palm of his hand as he lingered on her cheek.
"And I know you don't want to change me," she said.
"It's not that I don't want to change you, Aria, I would love nothing more than to spend eternity with you."
"But you're frightened I won't survive the change."
"There are some things we must discuss when you're feeling better."
Her forehead furrowed. "What things?"
"Later, Aria. For now, take some time to heal. We have time now, enjoy it."
"We do, don't we?" she replied with a small smile. "I miss him."
"I know."
"I wish he survived to see us succeed."
"He knew."
Her eyes drifted closed as she rested her cheek on her knees again. He continued to hold her until the water turned cold, and he helped her out. She stood; shivering as he dried her off with a towel and helped her into a robe. As they entered the sitting room, Aria took a sudden step back at the sight of Jack on the couch with his legs leisurely crossed at the ankles. Braith wasn't the least bit surprised to see his brother though.
"I brought the food."
Aria eyed Jack warily as she circled him to the tray of food he'd placed near the window. Keegan lifted his head to watch her for a moment before yawning and dropping his head back to his paws.
"Thank you," she muttered.
Braith was reminded that he'd suspected something off between them before she was abducted. He hadn't had time to think of it after, but the tension between them was evident as they stared at each other. His brother wasn't so foolish as to believe he could take her from this palace again without Braith destroying him, or was he?
"Why are you here, Jack?" Braith inquired brusquely.
"They would like to have a meeting tonight to decide what will be done with the remaining soldiers."
Aria placed the piece of bread she had been picking at down. "What do you mean what is to be done with them?"
"They worked for the king, Aria," Braith reminded her.
She shook her head as she glanced between the two of them. "I know, but are you going to kill them because of that?"
"That is not my decision to make."
"I know you expect to establish this democracy type of government, but to start with this type of slaughter is to create a government founded on blood. It started with a war, but what happens from here on out will shape the future."
"There are times when blood is necessary," Jack said.
The fire in her gaze hadn't been there for the past few days as she glared at his brother. "Death is not the answer here."
"Then what would you suggest?" Jack demanded. "We turn them loose to gather a rebellion against us? There are men loyal to my father who could easily instigate another war. Is that what you would like, even more death?"
The color drained from Aria's face; her hands fell limply into her lap. Braith took a step toward his brother as Jack threw up his hands and leapt to his feet. He cautiously edged away from Braith and toward the door.
"I didn't… I wasn't thinking; I'm sorry, Aria,” Jack stammered. “You know how much your father meant to me too."
"Get out, Jack," Braith grated.
"Wait." Aria pushed aside the tray as she rose to her feet. "I know you didn't mean anything, Jack, and more death is the last thing I want, but there must be another option. The soldiers were just following orders; some of them must be worth saving."
"I'm sure some of them are," Jack agreed as his gaze shot warily to Braith. "But there are others who must be destroyed; you have to understand that, Aria."
"Does my opinion matter?"
"Your opinion has always mattered to me, and many admire and respect it also," Braith informed her. Her brow furrowed as she stared at him. "You helped to take down not only an aged, powerful vampire but also a king."
Her jaw clenched as she glanced away. "I don't like to be admired for death, no matter how awful Caleb was."
"I know that, Aria,
but you're also admired for your bravery."
Her face colored; she looked uncomfortable with the notion as she shifted uneasily. "I understand the men and women most loyal to your father have to be put down. I know the way of the world, and the repercussions of war, but some of those guards had no other choice. Some of them were simply doing their jobs to take care of their families and survive. We've all done things we didn't want to do to stay alive; you can't punish them for doing the same."
"Would you like to come to the meeting to state your opinion?" Braith inquired.
"I would."
Jack's eyes darted worriedly toward him. "There is something else you must know first."
Aria quirked an eyebrow as she studied him. Braith didn't want to tell her this, but he couldn't hide it from her, and he wasn't about to lie to her.
"Gwendolyn is one of the prisoners," Jack said.
For a moment confusion marred her features and then her eyes widened as her mouth dropped. "Your fiancée?" she blurted.
"Ex," he growled.
She blinked as she shook her head. "Yes, ex, whatever. What is she doing there? Here?"
"She was an aristocrat, Aria; she resided in the town and was amongst those captured. Lauren will be there also."
Her nose wrinkled as her lip curled. Keegan rose and pressed against her legs as he sought to offer her comfort.
"I would still like for you to attend," he said.
Braith thought she might refuse and retreat into the world of despair that had clamped its teeth into her.
Instead, she turned toward him and nodded firmly. "So would I."
He couldn't help but smile at her as relief filled him, his Aria had never retreated from anything.
Chapter Sixteen
On the way down, Aria had been terrified the meeting would be held in the throne room. It was the king's room, after all, and the largest room in the palace. Braith's room now, she reminded herself, still marveling over the fact they had won, and the man walking so proudly at her side now presided over them. He was the man who would lead them into a new time, a new rule, a new form of government, and if anyone could make it work it would be Braith, she was sure of that.
The Captive Series 1-5 Page 70