How the mighty fell. Even at seven years old, he was just as pompous as Zane. He liked to pretend tigers and leopards were different, but they weren’t so much, not really. There was still a hierarchy, and Seth had been at the top of his clan’s. Destined to be alpha one day, already in training for it.
He went from being at the very top, to less than nothing, in the space of a few days. And his leopard was right. It was no one’s fault but Seth’s. Ridiculous and unreasonable rules aside, it was he who broke them. He who took a nap when he should have been studying, he who sent away the person who was always supposed to be with him.
Finally. I was beginning to think you would never become smart enough to figure that out.
Fuck off, Seth replied, but there was no heat to the words. That conclusion was common sense, but it was something he never let himself think about. He’d wanted to blame everyone else, but he had to accept that some of the blame was his own.
And surprisingly, he felt a little lighter inside at the realization. He would probably always harbor some bitterness for his family and clan for how things played out, but it wasn’t crushing and suffocating him anymore.
And he felt like Amelia was a large part of that realization. He didn’t think he would have thought this out if it weren’t for her. Yeah, Cammie’s kidnapping brought it all back, but he was doing what he always did, and repressing all the feelings that came with it. He wouldn’t have gotten to where he was right now without Amelia.
But there was still only so much he could handle at a time. So needing a distraction, he sat up, looking for something to occupy him while he waited on Amelia to come downstairs. Noticing a stack of romances on the side table, he picked one up, lips quirking as he looked at the cover. It had a half dressed man in breeches, an eye patch over his eye, holding onto an equally half dressed woman. So she liked romance novels. That was good to know. Maybe he’d read one someday. Surely he could pick up some tips and tricks from it. Lord knew he’d probably need them if he wanted to keep a woman like Amelia.
Leaning over, he put it back on the stack, but he misjudged the distance and knocked them all to the floor. Well shit. Heaving himself off the couch, he began picking them up, putting them back on the table. He’d just finished when he noticed a notebook on the floor.
Bending over, he picked it up, but he paused when he grabbed the cover to close it and saw his name. Curious about what she’d written about him, he started to skim it, then froze, body going cold as he realized it was a list. A list with clues as to what he could be.
Going back to the beginning, he began to read, starting with what her uncle said, becoming more furious with every line, a sense of disbelief filling him. He reached the end of the second list, where she’d written down different breeds of cats, staring at where she’d circled leopard.
It was all a lie. Everything they shared between them was a lie. She never desired him, never wanted him, not like he wanted her. It had all been a calculated attempt to learn the truth of what he was.
He’d been wrong. She wasn’t better than him. She never had been, because he would never do this to someone. He would never get close to someone just to get information, and now her remark when she was drunk about trying to seduce him made more sense. She’d been trying to seduce him to get the truth this whole time. She’d slept with him, shared her body with him, all because she wanted answers.
Who would do something like this? How she must have laughed at how gullible he was. And why had she continued the charade, even after she knew the truth?
It didn’t matter. None of it mattered, not in the face of what she’d done. And she probably kept up the game just because she wanted someone to warm her bed before she went back to England.
“Sorry,” she said breathlessly as she came down the stairs, a smudge of dirt on her cheek. “I was trying to finish cleaning Jerry’s room, and—”
Her eyes fell on the notebook in his hands, and she paled white as a sheet.
“I wasn’t snooping,” he said flatly, ignoring the pleading look in her eyes. “Unlike some people I could name, I don’t try to uncover secrets that aren’t my own.”
“Seth—”
“Everything was a lie, wasn’t it? From the moment you brought me those cookies, it was all a lie. You were trying to seduce my secrets out of me. Congratulations, you achieved your goal. But I would expect nothing less from a twenty-five year old with a PhD.”
“It’s not what you think. Please, let me explain.”
“How could you possibly explain this?” he demanded, holding the notebook up. “You’ve been trying to figure out what we are from the moment we met. You are an amazing actress. You never broke character. Shifters can hear lies, did you know that? And you never, not once, told me a lie. Incredibly sneaky and just plain brilliant. Do you know what one of my favorite things about you was? That you were so honest. I thought I’d never met a human as honest as you, from your words to your reactions. What a fucking idiot I am. Joke’s on me, right?”
Eyes filling with tears, her lower lip trembled as she said, “Please. Let me explain. It’s not all what you think.”
Hardening his heart to her tears, he scoffed. “Not all. Meaning some of it is. The fact that some of it is, is more than enough. I always knew I wasn’t all that smart, but you made me realize what a fucking fool I truly am.” Throwing the notebook down on the coffee table, he turned and headed for the door. “I have to get out of here. And in case you haven’t figured it out, we’re through. Feel free to head back to England soon. Tonight wouldn’t be soon enough.”
“Oh God, Seth, please don’t leave.”
He paused with his hand on the door. “Maybe you should have just went for Zane to begin with. He’s a shifter too, ya know? Of course you do, since you already had us all figured out. And I’m sure, as much as he wants you, he’d be willing to answer any questions you have. But he’s a prideful bastard, so he might draw the line at being tested, which was no doubt your ultimate goal. Too bad he already left to go home. I guess you’re just shit out of luck.”
“You lied too,” she rushed out, voice desperate. “You never told me what you are, and that’s a big thing to keep from the woman you’re sleeping with, the woman you’re starting something with.”
Rolling his eyes shut, he shook his head, still facing the door. “You’re right. I did lie by omission. But there’s a big difference. I was withholding the truth until we knew each other better, until we were more solid. I was withholding it because I didn’t want to lose you. You did what you did with a heart full of deceit. Your intent was to weasel the truth out of me. My intent was to protect what I thought was growing between us.”
Heart heavy, Seth yanked the door open and stormed out, slamming it behind him like the nail in the coffin of their relationship. The pain was enough to take his breath away, and had he been a weaker man, it would have brought him to his knees. As it was, he wasn’t sure how he was still standing.
His cat was a mess inside him, alternating between writhing in pain, and urging Seth desperately to turn around and fix this.
But there was no fixing this. He was a ball of hurt and sadness, and there was still a sliver of him that wanted to go back to her, try to figure out how to work past this. But there was no way to work it out. What she did was inexcusable, and there was no moving past it.
He’d survived the rejection of his family, and he would survive this, too. But it made one thing glaringly clear. It wasn’t his destiny to lead a happy life. It was his destiny to go through life just trying to make it one day at a time.
Amelia laid on the couch, clutching one of the throw pillows to her stomach, sobbing into another. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been in that position, but her eyes were swollen, and her tight throat was sore, but she couldn’t seem to make herself stop.
Her world had come crashing down around her in the space of a moment, and she had no one to blame but herself. She should have told him the truth, no mat
ter how hard or what the risk to herself was. Or better yet, never tried any of this to begin with. She believed wholeheartedly that she and Seth would have come together, even if she hadn’t attempted her pathetic seduction plan.
There was no denying that telling him the truth would have been hard, and carried with it a good chance that he’d leave, just like he did today. But it would have held the possibility of them working it out. They still would have had a chance at getting past what she did. Finding out like he did guaranteed the end of their relationship, just as she feared it would.
Judging by the pain encompassing her whole being, she’d thoroughly fallen in love with him. He owned her heart, her soul, in every way possible. And she’d thrown it all away before they were even really his. And this was it. There was no getting them back, and even if there was a way, she didn’t deserve to have them back. She deserved this soul-searing pain, and then some.
By the time her sobs quieted, the sun had set, and there was very little light in the room. It suited her dark mood and blackened soul, but she didn’t want to risk falling and breaking her neck, so she got up and flipped the light switch, cursing when nothing happened. Shit. She had no idea to fix this. Something about a box she needed to break in the basement, but hell if she knew which one she was supposed to hit. She didn’t know where the flashlights were, or if there were any candles or matches in the house. This was what she got for paying more attention to Seth than to going through the house.
Fighting back a fresh sob, she made her way back to the couch and sank down with a sigh as heavy as her heart. She should make her way to her bedroom, but she didn’t have the energy. She’d do it later, even if she had to crawl up the stairs.
First thing in the morning, she’d call a realtor and list the house, and then book a flight home. It was the last thing she wanted to do, but there was no point in staying. Seth wanted her gone, and she didn’t think there was anything she could do to fix this. And maybe she could begin to heal, or at the very least, distract herself, if she was back to work in her lab.
A bitter laugh escaped her as she rolled her eyes at herself. She’d never heal from this. The crushed and bleeding heart she had would always be broken, because there was no getting over Seth. And she had no one to blame but herself.
“Well, Mum, I jumped. And I can’t say I’ll ever regret going all in with Seth, but I can say that sometimes when you jump, there’s no parachute, and no one to catch you. You just end up bloody and broken on the ground.”
Seth knocked on the door and stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets as he waited on someone to answer. Shifters didn’t get sick, but he had a shit ton of pressure behind his eyes, and he could feel a headache coming on. His first ever, but what better, or more fitting time for it.
The door swung open, and Cammie stood in the doorway. Her questioning look quickly turned into one of concern as she took him in, and she stood back, gesturing him inside. Not speaking, he walked into the house.
Turning to her, he finally spoke. “The house looks amazing.”
Frowning, concern stamped on her features, she replied, “We had a top notch architect and builder.”
Shaking his head, he said, “I just gave you the bones of the house. Turning it into a home was all you and Alex. It looks great.”
“Thanks,” she replied, frown deepening. “Do you want something to drink? Should I get Alex?”
“No to both, but thanks for offering.”
“Then sit down and tell me what the hell is going on,” she ordered. Voice softening, she said, “You look like shit, Seth. Talk to me.”
Taking a seat, he leaned over with his elbows planted on his knees, and he clasped his hands together and stared at them as he gathered his thoughts. Taking a deep breath, he spilled the whole story, ending with storming out of Amelia’s house tonight.
Silence blanketed the room, and he glanced up to see Cammie frozen, mouth-open and eyes wide with shock.
“That bitch. She better thank her lucky stars I can’t shift right now, or she’d be ash. Maybe I can have Alex do the dirty work for me.”
Seth found a small smile, but he knew Cammie was dead serious with her statement. “She doesn’t deserve to die for what she did.”
“That’s debatable,” she muttered. Going silent again, her frown turned thoughtful. “Do you know when the list was made?”
“Based on what she wrote down, I think it was towards the beginning. After the night at Cocky Pete’s, I think. And there was nothing listed after that. But how does when she made it matter? It still makes our relationship a lie.”
“Not necessarily. Now shut up and just listen, Seth Andrew. It’s possible she made it after her uncle told her, and she decided to try to get answers. But as she spent time with you, she started falling for you, and none of that mattered anymore. I can’t believe Anderson knew this whole time. He never let on.”
Ignoring the last part, he said, “Say that’s true, and she did end up falling for me. Our relationship was still based on a lie. She never told me, or even hinted at what her original intentions were.”
“Did you ever tell her the truth about being a shifter?”
“That’s totally different,” he replied with a frown.
“Of course it is. But it also makes all the difference. Tell me, why hadn’t told her about your leopard?”
“Because I didn’t want to scare her away. I didn’t want her to run. I needed more time with her, needed to give her a chance to grow her feelings for me.”
“And did it ever occur to you that those could have been her reasons, as well? Maybe she changed her mind, but she didn’t want to tell you until she felt like your relationship was more solid. Maybe she was scared of the reaction you’d have. And maybe you just confirmed that she was right to be scared of how you’d react.”
Hesitating, he thought over what she said before shaking his head. “I don’t think that’s it.”
“Did you give her a chance to explain at all, or did you confront and accuse her, and then storm out?” she asked with a knowing look.
“There was nothing she could have said to defend her actions,” he replied, fighting the urge to squirm at the look she gave him.
“Let me ask you this, then. Is she your mate?”
“My leopard says she is.”
“What about the man in you? Do you love her?”
Pausing, his eyebrows twitched as he thought over the question, giving it serious thought. Amelia was funny, and sweet, and gorgeous. So gorgeous. She called to him on a level he hadn’t even known existed, and when they touched or kissed, it felt like she was in his soul.
“I can see that you do,” Cammie said, answering her own question.
“How can I trust it?” he asked softly. “How can I believe in her, and what we have? Or what I thought we had. How can I know that she really wants me for me, as a woman, and not as a scientist who wants her questions answered and her curiosity satisfied?”
“The answer to that is incredibly simple,” she said gently. “You ask. If she’s lying, you’ll hear it in her voice, and you’ll know for sure. But if she’s not, everything you’ve ever wanted, everything that will make you blissfully happy, will be right there in front of you. All you’ll have to do is reach out and grab it. But you’ll never know if you never ask, and not knowing for sure will eat you alive.”
Seth scrubbed a hand over his face, thinking hard. Blowing out a breath, he finally stood and walked over to her, pulling her up in front of him. “Thank you, Cam. You’re wise beyond your years.”
“Not wise so much as not involved directly in the situation, and therefore able to think more clearly. Now, go ask your questions, and find out the complete truth, good or bad. But I truly believe our animals pick the best person for us. Your leopard wouldn’t have chosen her if what developed between you wasn’t real. Go to her. Clear the air.”
“Tell Alex I said hey. And thank you again, Cammie,” he said, bending down to
kiss her cheek.
Striding out of the house, feeling like a man on the mission, Seth climbed in his car and headed back to the Anderson’s. He wasn’t as optimistic as Cammie about everything, but she was right about one thing. He needed to get Amelia’s side of things, ask his questions, know the truth once and for all. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t, and his leopard would likely eat him alive.
Driving slowly, he thought about Cammie’s questions. About one in particular. Did he love Amelia? Not his leopard claiming she was his mate, but did he, as a man, love her? As much as it scared him and filled him with a sense of defeat because of the situation they were in, the answer was yes.
Maybe she went into this all wrong, with deceitful intentions. But her actions and reactions, her words and conversations they had, were genuine. And that Amelia… that Amelia he loved. He wasn’t sure she hadn’t still, as of this morning even, had a hidden agenda. But if she’d abandoned her original plan, and just been a woman interacting genuinely with a man, could he forgive and forget how she went into this?
He thought the answer to that was yes. Right or wrong, her curiosity, and the decision to try to get the truth from him, was the catalyst for the start of their relationship. He’d been resisting her, resisting his leopard’s insistence that she was his mate. It was only after the continued run ins with her that he gave in and decided to go with this, pursue the possibility of her being his mate.
If she had abandoned her original agenda, if the majority of their relationship was genuine… he in all reality owed her. He owed her scientific, curious mind for needing answers. Not surprisingly, he felt a little resentful of that thought, but he couldn’t deny the truth of it.
Suddenly eager to know the truth, good or bad, he accelerated, his car shooting forward and rumbling in the stillness of the twilight. He wasn’t getting his hopes up, but he couldn’t help the part of him, growing bigger by the second, that was anxious, ready to hear her say he had it wrong, and she wanted him. Really wanted him, and wasn’t going to give him up, no matter what. He’d never had anyone fight for him before, not even his family, and even though he thought it made him a bit of a beef curtain, he still longed to experience her fighting for them.
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