by Sweet, Izzy
But if he wants me back…
Gabriel’s thighs bump into my legs as if he’s seeking permission to press closer, but I leave them closed to him.
I can’t let him in until I know if he’s going to betray me. If he’s going to give me up.
I don’t think he will, but I’ve been betrayed by so many people I thought were looking out for me, I have to be cautious.
Before I can ask the question that’s sticking in my throat, he bends over me, grabbing the counter with both hands. “He’s threatened to take our women and rape them to death. He’s threatened to have his men fuck our children.”
“Oh god,” I moan and try not to sway.
One hand comes up to my neck as if I’m some fucking damsel in a movie.
But the fear, the terror, it’s real. It’s alive inside me, each threat feeding its power.
Gabriel’s eyes lock on mine, the intense hold of them the only thing keeping me from fainting. “He’s threatened to murder us all if we don’t hand you over.”
Of course he did. I’d expect no less from a monster like him.
He’ll probably even do worse… if given the chance.
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
This is the worst fucking thing that could happen. There is no doubt in my mind that Alexei will try to make good on his threats. He’s probably working on them right now.
Gabriel’s entire family is in great and immediate danger, and it’s all because of me. All because Gabriel took me and didn’t kill me.
“Are—” I start and stop.
I have to fill my lungs with air several times before I can get the question out.
Gabriel watches me, his face growing more and more furious as if he knows exactly what I’m going to ask.
“Are you going to hand me over?”
Gabriel says, “No,” so violently it’s jarring.
My skeleton jolts beneath my skin.
And I’d probably accept that answer, I’d probably leave that statement as it is, even take comfort in his protection, but I’m highly aware that I’m not the only one in danger here.
This goes beyond me, just like he pointed out earlier, and I don’t know if I could live with myself if anyone else got hurt.
“But—” I start to argue, shredding all sense of self-preservation.
There’s a loud crack and I have no clue where it’s coming until I glance down. Somehow, with his grip alone, he’s managed to crack the countertop.
Or maybe that crack has always been there…
There’s no way he could physically do that.
My eyes travel back up his body, taking in his taut muscles and popping veins.
Face strained as if it’s taking everything inside him to keep from erupting, he snaps, “I’m not handing you over, Meghan. You’re mine, and this shit doesn’t change that.”
Those words should be reassuring, but the way he says mine sounds more like a threat than an endearment.
“But—” I try again, only to have him stop me.
Pushing his way between my legs, he grabs me by the face. His grip is too frantic, too harsh at first but immediately gentles when I wince.
“I won’t say it again. You’re mine and I’m not fucking giving you up.”
I should accept that. I should even be happy with it, but I can’t. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
Especially on the account of me.
I’ve met the wives, Lily, Amy, Beth, and Meredith. And their children. And their husbands. There are too many people to protect. Too many possible causalities. .
Fingers tightening behind my head, Gabriel pulls my face up. “The only people that are going to get hurt are the fucking Russian cocksuckers who think they can threaten us and get away with it.”
I open my mouth to argue with him, to point out that the odds are against us. That the odds are that at least one person is going to get hurt.
But once again the fucker cuts me off, a strange light flickering to life in his eyes. “I’m going to kill them, Meghan. I’m going to fucking kill them all.”
His thumbs stroke tenderly against my cheeks as if he’s saying something emotional, something sweet. “I’m not only going to exterminate them, I’m going to abort them and everyone connected with them from this world. Abort their walking carcasses and use their blood to baptize their taint from this city.”
He lets that sink in, lets it sink into the very marrow of my bones before he finishes with, “And I need you at my side. I need to know you’ll stand with me.”
My gut reaction is to tell him no. To rail at him for asking that of me.
How can he? How dare he?
Not only does he plan on killing Alexei and all the Russians, but he’s also going to kill everyone connected to them. That includes my father and all the Irish.
Everyone I’ve grown up with, whether they’ve personally done me wrong or not, is in jeopardy.
“It’s them or us,” he reminds me as I hesitate.
So we’re back to this again. We’ve come full circle, and this time I know he won’t let me off without answering him.
The way he’s looking at me, his eyes boring into me, I can sense his desperate need for a commitment from me.
And, oh god, I want to give it to him. With all my heart I do. He’s given me so much, he’s given me everything. But the thought of helping him kill my former family makes me sick.
I’m not a murderer, and I don’t know if I have it in me.
But what’s the alternative?
Abandon Gabriel? Spit in the face of everything he’s done and sacrificed for me?
His thumbs continue to stroke against my cheeks, urging me to choose him.
Choose him over all the fuckers who’ve tried to hurt me.
Choose between him and my fear.
“Meghan,” he says, his head dipping down, his nose rubbing against mine.
He continues to say my name over and over again, nuzzling at my face, and there’s so much pleading in the way he says it, he might as well be begging me.
I hate to him hear beg, but I know in the very depths of my soul that this choice will forever change me. I’ll never be the same again.
I might not be able to look at my face in the mirror after this.
I might fucking hate myself after this.
Tears fill my eyes as I make my choice.
Dragging in a shuddering breath, I’m afraid something inside of me is breaking, a fundamental part I need to survive, to exist as I have.
But as I say the words, “I’ll stand by you,” out loud with tears spilling down my cheeks, I suddenly feel free.
Free of the chains that have been holding me back.
Gabriel pulls slowly away from me, and I catch a flicker of hope in his eyes, but it quickly fades away.
Something inside me desperately needs to see that flicker again.
So I find myself saying, “I’m with you, Gabriel. I choose you. I choose us.”
I didn’t know joy could be found inside darkness, but that’s the only way I can explain the emotions that play over his face.
Bone-deep, endless joy.
He looks like I’ve just handed him the sky.
Then a hair-raising, animalistic sounds rumbles out of his throat just before his mouth slams into mine.
Any other time, I might not be prepared for the force of the kiss he lays on me.
But I’m ready this time.
Grabbing at him, I meet him push for push. Determined to not let this thing between us break me.
Determined to stand by my choice.
Our lips, tongues, and teeth clash and tangle together in a frantic need that makes time fade away.
There is only him, me, and the overwhelming desire to take him deep inside my body.
To make my promise complete.
As if he’s afraid I might change my mind, his hands grab at my shirt, ripping and tearing until the fabric falls away in shreds. I try to do t
he same to his shirt, but I don’t quite have the strength.
When I whimper into his mouth, he reaches down and bats my hands away.
Grabbing where I grabbed, he yanks his hands apart, ripping his black t-shirt open for me.
Greedy for the feel of his skin, I slap my palms against his bare chest. I explore, rubbing my hands over the hard planes of his sculpted pecs.
But it’s not enough. I have this visceral need to dig into his flesh. To leave my mark.
Clawing at him, I scrape my nails down to his waist.
With a smothered growl, he thrusts his hips hard into me, grinding his trapped erection into my sex.
Hoping for another thrust, I drag my nails back up, raking them across his stiff nipples.
His entire body jolts and a purr of pleasure rolls down my throat. Then he’s grabbing up my hands and yanking them behind my back, forcing me to thrust out my chest.
He rips his lips away from mine, and before I can gasp out a protest, he’s nipping his way down my neck.
I want to beg him to kiss me again, but he bites at the hollow of my throat and a flash of delicious weakness courses through me, forcing me into silence.
Lower, his mouth travels.
Biting at my collarbones and nipping a path down to my breasts.
Sucking in a breath and holding it, I half-expect him to bite at my nipples, given what I did to his.
But his hot mouth completely covers me and he groans with pleasure as he pulls back a gentle suckle.
Warmth floods through my veins, burning like molten lava, and I begin to melt beneath his mouth.
Back and forth, between both breasts, he hungrily and frantically suckles on me, until I’m squirming against the counter and my breasts feel heavy.
Just as I begin to relax, tipping my head back and letting him have his way with me, his teeth clamp down on my nipple.
Pinching down on the tender flesh.
I jerk, my head snapping up.
With a grin, he soothes the pain away with his tongue, swirling it against me.
I watch him with wary eyes as he moves to the other breast, prepared for the pinch. But all he does is suckle until I start to relax again.
As soon as my head tips back and a low moan flows out of my throat, his teeth are clamping down.
“Gabriel,” I gasp, finally breaking the silence between us as the sting settles in.
“You taste so fucking good,” he groans, “I just want to eat you up.”
His tongue lashes at me as if he’s in a hurry to soothe the pain away.
“I want to leave my mark all over your body.”
Then he’s kissing, nipping, sucking, and biting his way down my stomach. My muscles tighten against the onslaught of his mouth and I don’t even realize he’s released my hands until he’s unbuckling my holster and shoving down my pants.
My pants, panties, and shoes hit the floor and his head dips lower. Teeth scraping across my mons.
“Don’t you dare,” I warn and feel his smirk.
Shoving my thighs apart, I tense up in fear and excitement as his warm breath drops lower, hitting my wetness.
If he bites me there, so help me—
That thought inside my head is cut off as he suddenly straightens, towering over me again.
Before I have a chance to react to the sudden change, he’s grabbing me by the back of the head and pulling me in for another brutal kiss.
I become so lost in the taste of his mouth, I throw my arms around his neck and cling to him.
Reaching between us, he undoes his own holster and pants one-handed.
Then his fingers are wrapping around my hip and jerking my ass to the edge of the counter. There’s no warning, no time to brace myself, as he begins to push his thick, velvety length into me.
My tongue and lips begin to falter as my walls stretch around him.
So big… will he ever stop feeling so big?
“That’s it,” he encourages me between pulls of his mouth. “Don’t fight me, Meghan. Let me in.”
I spread my thighs wider to accept him and even wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him closer.
He groans with primal satisfaction as he slides all the way in.
Once he’s completely inside me, he stops and tugs on the back of my scalp.
“Who do you belong to?” he asks, his voice deep and guttural.
His grip on my hair forcing my neck to arch almost painfully, I stare up into the blazing depths of his blue eyes and say without hesitation, “You.”
He makes a sound deep in the depths of his throat and pulls his hips back.
I start to whimper at the loss of him, then he suddenly slams back in.
“Say it again,” he demands. “Who do you belong to?”
“You. I belong to you. I’m yours, Gabriel,” I moan as he grinds his hips against mine.
“That’s right… that’s fucking right,” he grunts as he begins to pump in and out.
But even with me seated on the counter, he’s so tall he has to angle himself downward.
Growling with frustration, he suddenly picks me up, his fingers digging into flesh of my ass.
Then he slams me up against the front of the refrigerator.
“You’re mine… fucking mine…” he grunts as he slams his hips into me so hard I begin to bounce. “And I’m never fucking letting you go.”
I’ve given myself over to him so completely that it’s only seconds before the beginning of my release is upon me.
Gathering force in the center of my core like a coming storm.
Each little sound that falls from my mouth seems to encourage him to fuck me harder and faster.
So hard, I feel his balls slapping against my ass and the door of refrigerator bending against my spine.
I writhe, my sweat slick skin sliding against his.
And then the force inside me is unleashed.
White lightning flashes in front of my eyes, and I swear I hear the roar of thunder in my ears.
But then I realize that’s Gabriel roaring.
My pussy squeezes around him, desperately pulling him deeper as he declares, “Even if you tried to run from me, even if you chose not to stand beside me…”
Grabbing me by the chin, he forces me to stare into his eyes as I’m trapped, lost and powerless, inside my throes.
“I wouldn’t let you go.”
His words chill me even as his cock pumps me full of warmth.
And I start regret my decision.
But then, as he reaches the last seconds of his release, that angry mask of his slips off face.
And so much dark, twisted love stares back at me, I’m lost.
Utterly fucking lost.
“I fucking love you, Meghan,” he declares.
And god help me…
I think I love him in return.
17
Gabriel
It seems like I’m the one always getting out of bed first. Meghan lays behind me, sprawled out on the bed in just a pair of tiny panties. I swear she sleeps on her stomach like that on purpose. It’s like she’s begging me to slap that tight juicy ass of hers.
Times like these in the still moments before the death that’s to come, I feel almost holy. I feel almost righteous. Maybe sinfully righteous.
Murder and mayhem isn’t exactly the heavenly way. But I’ve never questioned my destiny. Never questioned the decisions that lead to the end of my rope. I don’t plan on starting it now. Meghan agreeing to be by my side has filled that final piece I’ve been needing. Not that I knew I needed it.
When I got out of prison, I was dead inside. Rage was there in my body, but it wasn’t like it is now. Now I’ve got a purpose to keep moving, to do something proactive with my life.
I have someone I have to protect now. Someone I love and need to keep safe.
Words aren’t always trustworthy. Meghan said she was mine, but I needed to see it in her eyes. To see that she truly meant it and felt the full bearing of
those words. Her eyes told the truth, they showed the commitment we found with each other. Words after that were pointless. We’re in this together now, good or bad, together.
The last three days since we’ve formed our bond have been at times quick, and at other times too slow. We’ve alternated between acting like we’re on our honeymoon, to sitting on the couch speculating about what the fuck’s been happening in the outside world.
The tension at times has been palpable. Both of us want to be out there getting this fucking war over with. We want the same thing, even if I’m a little more bloodthirsty compared to her.
I truly believe she thinks this can be ended if we just all back down. I know for certain that won’t appease either side. The Russians have been taking over too much land and vice around the cities. They’re thirsty for territory and they hate us for kicking their asses at every turn.
Daily reports from Simon are vague at best. Nothing’s happening out there. The Russians and Irish are bunkering in and keeping us guessing at their plans. It’s a wait and see for the time being.
A bzzt sound rattles my nightstand as I stare out the back window of the bedroom. It looks out into a large wooded area, and I make sure I don’t have any nasty surprises coming toward me before I turn back to the nightstand. The sunlight that guides me back to the phone tells me we’ve slept half the morning away.
“Who’s that?” Meghan asks, her face buried in a pillow.
“No clue,” I say before picking up the phone.
Letting out a growl, I press the connect button. “Can’t fucking go twenty-four hours without you fucking bothering me, Simon.”
“Listen here, you fucking cretin…” he snaps out at me before letting out a slow breath.
“Aw, that’s all you got to say?” I ask with a grin.
“Get to highway forty heading east out of town towards Bethlehem. We’ve got a hit on the LPR for both cars,” Simon says.
Instantly switching from fucking-off mode, my brain rattles a question out, “What’s the coverage of the vehicle?”
“One unmarked police vehicle with the chief of police in his personal vehicle are in a loose tailing formation. They’ll be joined soon by Detective Somers in another unmarked. Once we have enough men in the area, we’ll pull them over.”