“You want a Skittle?” Jess pulled a bag from his pocket. I glared, no, as he shoved a few handfuls in his mouth. I swear that boy ate nothing but Skittles.
The minutes ticked by as Jess crunched next to me. I did my best to ignore him. The sirens stopped, but the elevator didn’t move. He was driving me crazy chomping on his dang candy.
“Why do you come here?” I asked.
“What’d ya mean?” He looked up.
“Here at the hospital. Why?” I’d contemplated the idea for some time. Our whole family situation had me thinking terrible things.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged his shoulders.
“You don’t know why you come here every day?”
Jess shrugged again. “It’s fun to hang out here.”
“Your mother doesn’t make you?”
“Why would she do that?” He looked confused.
“Forget it,” I shot back. He didn’t seem to know what I was talking about and it was time to end the questions. I went back to angry silence.
“You think she makes me hang out with you, don’t ya?”
“You have your whole ranch and everything. You talk about it all the time. But you come here. I just don’t understand why you don’t stay home.”
Jess watched me like he was trying to figure out what to do next. His lips twisted around before answering. “I’m the only kid at the ranch, so I like comin’ up here. I like hangin’ out with you. I think you’re pretty cool. I mean, for a girl.”
My cheeks burned red. “Oh.”
“You wish I didn’t come?”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled.
“You don’t know? Maybe I just won’t come anymore since you don’t like me.”
“No, wait. That’s not what I meant.” It was difficult letting someone get this close to me, letting him see how far my broken life had spiraled. Letting him know I would crumble back into the deep darkness if his visits stopped.
“I don’t want you to stop coming.”
“So ya dooo like me?” His blue eyes shot open, lifting his dark eyebrows. “I knew ya did.”
“Don’t make a big deal out of it.” I felt the red flush on my cheeks.
“Ok,” he said, cramming another handful of rainbow dots in his mouth. He crunched with that silly grin.
“Jess, I think we are moving!”
We jumped up and waited for the doors to open. Stepping out in the lobby, we faced a crowd of people. Each set of eyes stared at the water dripping from our clothes and the large orange guns in our hands. I took a quick tally and saw my father, the Masons, the maintenance crew, three firemen, and an assortment of hospital staff. This was bad.
I took a step sideways to be shoulder to shoulder with Jess. It felt much better to be closer to him. I needed reassurance from the boy who was my only friend. Jess winked at me with a half smile. Glancing back toward the crowd, I avoided the disappointed look on my father’s face but found another one that seemed worse. I was right about her. Mrs. Mason was definitely scary when she was angry. Maybe Jess wasn’t kidding when he talked about getting in trouble. This would be bad for both of us.
Chapter 8
When I was eight…
My father and I sat on a bench in the garden area outside the hospital. As the August heat exploded like steam off the cement, I braced for the same old speech.
Over the last week, I received different versions of the same lecture. I wanted to crawl under the bench to avoid it again. He used the same sad tactic every time with pathetic, glossy eyes. Alex, you need to be spending the last few days with your mother instead of running up and down the halls destroying things. His words made me feel horrible. I felt sad for him. I felt sad for my mother. I felt sad for the little girl who used to be me.
Mrs. Mason continued to bring food, but I never saw her or Jess. She left the food at the nurse’s station. Dr. Mason stopped by each day and talked to my father about my mother’s impending death. I wanted to ask about Jess, but I was afraid it would remind him of the incident with the water guns. The problems my father wanted to rehash.
“Dad, you know I am really, really, really sorry.”
“I know. But that’s not what I want to talk to you about. Staying in the hospital has become a problem.”
“Like, what kind of problem?”
“We can’t stay here anymore, Pumpkin.”
I bit down on my lip to stop the sudden gasp. The doors slid open and my stomach fell to the bottom of an elevator shaft. Our car no longer was an option and now the hospital kicked us out too.
“I…I don’t understand. Where are we going to live?”
He smiled, “Sprayberry.”
The next day, we drove down a dirt road with the old Bronco packed full. This Sprayberry place was out in the middle of no-wheres-ville. My only experience with a ranch came from Jess's constant ramblings. I missed his stories. I missed his smiling face. But even if I was tortured, I would never tell Jess how much I missed him the past week.
Sprayberry Ranch had a small, vacant farmhouse on the north end of the property. The Masons said we could stay for free if my father would do the repair work. When things got better, we could pay rent. The Masons didn’t want us to worry about any of that for now. I wanted scream, but I knew we had nowhere else to go.
“Pretty cool, isn’t it?” My father asked as we pulled up the driveway to the little farmhouse. The sun sparkled across the tall grass and I spotted a few red cows in the distance. I imagined the worst, but to my surprise, it was decent. I don’t know why I expected anything less from the Masons.
Our new home was a simple, one-story house, covered with faded gray siding, blue shutters, and a wooden porch. My father took a quick look around the outside of the old place. He smiled at my frowning face.
“Well, not too bad. A few rotten boards will need to be replaced along the sides around the roof, but it shouldn’t leak. Just needs a good cleaning and painting as far as I can tell. Come on,” he put his arm across my back, “let’s see the inside. I think you will like it.”
We walked through the small living room with hardwood floors, shiny from a recent coat of lacquer. Old, pink paper covered the kitchen walls. I slid my hand across the counter top with mud-colored stains bigger than my palm. Wandering down the short hallway, I found two bedrooms and a bathroom.
“The one on the right is yours,” my father called from the living room. He found his old cheery attitude again the moment we turned into the driveway.
The room caught me by surprise. Driving out to the ranch, I didn’t think about furniture. The bedroom had a large, white bed with a matching dresser and mirror. It wasn’t elaborate, but I could tell it was meant for a girl. It was meant for me.
A fluffy, purple bedspread covered the mattress. I didn’t see a price tag, but it smelled brand new. Absently, I pulled open one of the drawers and found a few clothing items. I saw my father watching from the doorway.
“Mrs. Mason asked if you had any new school clothes. I told her we hadn’t gone shopping yet. She asked for your sizes. Said she could get some for you since we wouldn’t have time to shop before school starts next week.”
Yeah right! I yelled in my head. It’s more like we didn’t have the money. It was just another item to add to the growing list of debts we owed these Masons.
I said nothing and pushed open the closet to find it held more clothes placed neatly on hangers. As my fingers thumbed through new jeans and shorts, I studied the choice of outfits picked by Mrs. Mason. She purchased a few plain shirts resembling those I’d worn around the hospital. However, most of the items had sparkles, flowers, or were stamped with a fancy logo.
In the back, I found two nice dresses, suitable for Easter or maybe Christmas. I frowned, letting my fingers touch the fabric. This Alex didn’t wear such clothes. On the floor, my eyes scanned two new pairs of canvas tennis shoes, a pair of sandals, and a pair of shiny leather dress flats. I now had fancy shoes to go with the fancy dresses
to wear to nonexistent fancy parties.
I let out a deep breath through my lips. It was all very frustrating. Sitting down on the floor, I slipped off my tight, ragged gray shoes. I stuck my foot into a pair of the new canvas ones. My toes wiggled at the tip with plenty of room to spare. My feet let out a sigh of relief and sucked in a big gulp of freedom. If only my heart could feel the same way.
Outside I heard a rumbling noise in the yard. I laced the other shoe and stood up beside the bedroom window, seeing Jess on his four-wheeler. My chest jumped as I watched him. It took everything in me not to go running down the hall and out the front door. Instead, I walked slowly to the front porch, trying to play it cool. I stood by my father and waited for Jess to talk first.
“Hey, Alex.”
“Hi,” I said, feeling my lips smile.
Jess didn’t look any different than when I saw him at the hospital. He wore the same old, roughed up jeans and t-shirt with the exception of the boots. Today’s pair was old and caked with mud.
“Hey, Mr. Tanner. Y'all moved in?”
“We’re getting there,” my father said back. “You want to come in?”
“Well, ummm. I was wonderin’ if I could give Alex a tour. Show her all the good spots.” He flashed one of his big grins that made you doubt he could ever cause any problems. My father looked at me and back at Jess.
“I guess so but you two need to try a little bit harder not to get in trouble.” He gave us both the typical stern parent look.
“I promise, Dad.” I squeezed a quick hug around his waist and walked over to the four-wheeler.
“I like your shoes.”
“Um, thanks.” I felt the heat burning on my cheeks. My brand new, gray canvas shoes felt like blood money.
“You gettin’ on or what?”
“Sure,” I muttered, glancing at the seat then back at Jess. “How do you do this?”
“Here, let me help ya.” Jess pulled me on the extra space toward the back. “Your arms go here.” He put my hands on his waist in a tight grip. “Now just hang on!”
Jess tapped the gas, and we started out at a slow speed toward the ranch. The wheels hit a few holes, and I bounced up from the seat. As we reached the clearing away from my father’s view, Jess punched the gas and the vehicle lurched forward. I screamed, but my voice disappeared in the fast wind whipping across my face. The grass and trees flew by in a blur.
He would kill me! My first day at the ranch and Jess would kill me out in the meadow with his stupid four-wheeler. I yelled at him to stop but I couldn’t even hear my own words. My fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt for a tighter grip.
We zipped around the ranch for what seemed like an eternity. In the distance, a large building came into focus. Jess slowed down at the driveway entrance. My eyes grew large at what had to be the Masons’ house.
I’d never seen an actual plantation, only on television. We traveled up the tree-lined driveway leading to the large, white column structure with a wrap-around porch. I thought back to that afternoon when I’d watched Gone with the Wind. I knew without a doubt, this was a house that would make Scarlett herself jealous.
As we approached the front yard, the giant white house with black shutters took shape in front of me. I counted six massive white columns starting at the ground and extending to the roof. The poles were so large; it would take three of me with outstretched arms to circle around one of them.
The lower level boasted a full wrap-around porch covered with chairs and tables assembled into a fancy sitting area fit for a tea party with princesses. The second floor also had a full wrap around balcony with black iron guardrails. The Mason’s had two whole balconies on a single house.
The landscaped yard held bushes shaped in fancy designs, resembling the botanical garden from last year’s school field trip. The Masons literally had their own park. The whole place made my old secret garden look like a tangled up bird’s nest.
Jess circled around the yard to the back of the house. The dirty four-wheeler looked out of place on the manicured lawn. I expected someone to pop out from behind a bush to yell at us for driving on the grass.
“You live here?” The question came out half stupid as I muttered against his ear. I hoped the sound of the motor drowned it out.
“Yeah.” I felt his shoulders shrug.
Jess parked next to an outdoor gazebo that could hold at least fifty people for a garden party. The white structure overlooked an extravagant in-ground swimming pool with a ten-foot waterfall flowing from a rock ledge. Two fountains shot up from the deep blue water on each side of the wavy shape. It was bigger than any motel pool I’d seen as a kid.
“You can swim in the pool if ya want after school. I like jumpin’ from the top of ‘em rocks. Almost as much fun as the pond,” Jess said rather matter of fact. “You swim?”
“No.” The thought of being in that deep water made my teeth bite into my lip. I hated swimming.
“Let’s go. I’ll show you the really fun stuff.” Jess maneuvered around a few hedges and then punched the gas to take off through the tall grass. The wind slapped across my face; my hair flailing out to the sides. He slowed down again when we reached the barns.
“We’ve got lots of horses. You ever been on one?” He asked as I studied the expensive looking stables.
“No.” I shook my head.
“It’s ok. I can teach ya. You think the four-wheeler is fun, wait ‘til you ride a horse out here,” Jess laughed and punched the gas again. I grabbed his shirt as we shot off into the depths of the ranch. I wasn’t so sure about the horse riding thing.
The wind blew in my face as we bounced along the meadow. It was beautiful and so carefree being out in the wide open space. I knew why Jess loved it so much. Driving out on the ranch, the weight lifted in the breeze. For a moment in time, I felt free.
Jess alternated between a dirt path and plowing straight through the tall grass. We passed a group of red cows who watched us with bored eyes. I’d never seen one so close, but the furry heads didn’t seem unfriendly. Jess circled over a pond dam and came to a stop next to the water.
“You like fishin’?” He asked, pointing at the murky pool. “There’s some pretty good ones in there.”
“No. I mean, I’ve never been. I might like it I guess.” It was my general answer to all his questions today. I’d never done any of this stuff.
“It’s really fun. We’ll have to come back when it starts gettin’ cooler this fall.” I couldn’t see his face but I knew he was grinning with excitement. He words stumbled over each other like pancake syrup again.
“How did your family get Sprayberry?”
“It was my grandfather’s dad’s ranch first. The Jessups have sold red Angus for a long, long time. You see all of those out there?” He turned a little sideways and pointed to the other side of the ranch.
I’d lived in Texas my whole life. I may have never gone fishing or swam in a fancy pool, but I knew what an oil well pump looked like even from a distance.
“It was just cattle until they found the oil. My Uncle Frank still sells ‘em. The cattle. My grandfather just lived here and got rich.”
“Your uncle and grandfather both live here?” I said interrupting.
“No. Just Uncle Frank. My grandfather’s dead. House was his first then mother made it even bigger. Anyway, he crashed one of his planes with my grandma in it. Happened right after I was born. He’d learned to fly and wasn’t so good, I guess,” he chuckled and glanced back at me over his shoulder.
I wrinkled my nose up at his morbid joke. I realized what his story implied. Did he say his grandfather owned planes as in plural?
“When my grandfather found the oil, he kept buyin’ and buyin’ stuff. Made my Uncle Frank mad. After he died, all of this was my mother’s and Uncle Frank’s. He’s an old grouch. Never been married and I think he hates kids. Or maybe just me. He lives in a house off over there. That’s who I’ve been helpin’ for bein’ grounded for the elevator t
hing.”
“Uncle Frank…Jessup?” I asked. It was interesting to know another Jessup existed besides Jess.
“Yup, he’s got me scoopin’ horse manure out of the stalls at five in the mornin’. I gotta do that ‘til school starts. I hate poop.”
“I know. You told me.”
“Well, I still hate it.” He turned back to face the front.
“I’m really sorry.”
“Nah…not your fault. We better get back. Don’t want to make your dad mad at me the first day.”
He punched the gas, and I fumbled to grab his shirt. It was a lot of information to process for one day. The ranch itself was enough to overload my mind. It was positively paradise. I counted off more items to add to what my father and I owed these Masons; a house, school clothes, furniture, and this place called Sprayberry.
Chapter 9
When I was eight…
The day finally arrived and my secret, terrible wish came true. My mother, Anna Tanner, passed in her sleep a mere three days after we moved to the ranch. She was now a skeleton in a box. Her body waiting to be laid in the ground; waiting for the bugs to slither through the cracks and devour her skin and bones.
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want… He leads me beside still waters…”
Reverend Cooper read Psalm 23, his voice carried among the small gathering next to the closed casket. Over and over again, my eyes followed the same silver leaf pattern etched on the right side of the box. I heard very few of the Reverend’s words. In all aspects, my mother’s funeral represented the finality of the worst years of my life.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”
I lifted my eyes up to scan the group. Only a handful of people came to the funeral. My parents didn’t have any family left in Texas. No parents or siblings. No Uncle Franks. The Masons had guided my father through the preparations for the simple service. I had no idea how much this kind of production would cost our family. I no longer asked who paid for our expenses. In the cemetery, I mentality added the funeral to my growing debt to the Masons.
The Mason List Page 4