‘Outside,’ she said promptly. ‘It’s such a glorious day and it’s a shame to waste it.’
They went outside and Liam spotted a bench close to the entrance. ‘We can sit here, if you like. Hopefully, the taxi won’t be too long getting here.’
‘There’s no rush. I’m more than happy to soak up some of this wonderful sunshine.’
Liam laughed as she sat on the bench and tipped her face up to the sun. ‘You’ll regret it if you get burned. You always used to complain that you never tanned but just went lobster-red.’
‘Unlike you who only had to see the faintest glimmer of sunshine and ended up as brown as toast.’ She shaded her eyes and studied him thoughtfully. ‘In fact, you’re browner than I’ve ever seen you. It must be from working abroad for all that time.’
‘Probably.’ He hurriedly sat down, hoping she couldn’t tell how unsettled he felt when she stared at him like that. Shivers were racing through him, making his whole body tingle with awareness, and it was the last thing he needed at the present time.
‘I don’t know if I could cope with that type of climate.’ Fortunately, she didn’t appear to have noticed anything amiss as she settled back and closed her eyes. ‘I love the sun but I imagine it must be very uncomfortable having to work in all that heat.’
‘It does get difficult.’ He felt himself relax as they moved onto a relatively safe topic. ‘Most days the temperature was well over a hundred and it took some getting used to, I have to admit.’
‘I suppose you have to give yourself time to adapt to the conditions. Julia must be used to the heat by now. You said that she’d been working overseas ever since she qualified?’
‘That’s right,’ he agreed shortly, hoping that Sophie wouldn’t ask him anything else. Maybe it was silly but it felt wrong to discuss Julia with her, as though he were committing some sort of transgression by talking about another woman.
‘Why did she choose to do that kind of work? It’s not exactly the easy option, is it?’
‘She told me that she wanted to see something of the world, which is why she signed on with the aid agency.’
It was an effort to keep his tone level because that thought had struck far too deeply. Surely he should be more concerned about Julia’s feelings rather than Sophie’s, and yet he couldn’t put his hand on his heart and swear that was the case.
‘So she’s the adventurous type—unlike me. I was always happiest at home.’ She laughed wryly. ‘Not that I’m saying I’m boring or anything!’
‘It isn’t boring to know what you want from life. Not everyone can be the adventurous sort.’
‘I never realised that you were until you told me where you’d been working.’
‘I was always keen to travel when I was younger. It just didn’t happen.’
‘Because you met me?’ She opened her eyes and looked at him. ‘I’m right, aren’t I, Liam? If you hadn’t met me then you might have gone abroad earlier in your career.’
‘Possibly,’ he hedged, not wanting to make an issue out of it.
‘You mean probably, don’t you?’ An expression of pain crossed her face. ‘I never realised I was holding you back.’
‘You weren’t, not the way you mean, at any rate.’
He turned to face her, unsure why it seemed so important that she should believe him. ‘All right, so maybe I did change my mind about working abroad after I met you, but I was more than happy with the decision I made. I certainly didn’t regret it.’
‘No?’
He sighed when he heard the scepticism in her voice. ‘No,’ he stated firmly. ‘I never once wished that I’d done things differently and that’s the truth.’
‘All right, I believe you, but I’m sure there must have been times when you wished I was more adventurous.’
‘I didn’t. I loved you just the way you were.’
The words slipped out before he could stop them and Liam felt the blood drum through his veins when he realised what he’d said. He didn’t dare look at her because he wasn’t sure what would happen if he did. He had loved her, so much that it had broken his heart when she’d told him she wanted a divorce. But what was the point of telling her that now?
It was a relief when the sound of an engine announced the arrival of their taxi. Liam got up and flagged it down. He told the driver where to take them then opened the door for her to get in.
‘Thank you.’
Sophie carefully avoided looking at him as she took her seat. He climbed in beside her and sat stiffly as they were whisked back to the town. Sophie didn’t say a word all the way there. She stared out of the window, seemingly engrossed by the view of pine-clad hills.
Liam was glad because he didn’t think he could have managed to chat about trivialities after that admission he’d made. He sighed as he thought about what had happened in the past two days. He simply hadn’t been prepared for the maelstrom of emotions he’d experienced since he’d seen Sophie again. Even though he knew it was wrong, he couldn’t help comparing how he’d felt about her to how he felt about Julia now. Of course they were two completely different people so his feelings were bound to be different…different but equally strong.
He frowned because that was the real crux of the problem, wasn’t it? He wasn’t sure that what he felt for Julia could ever compare to how he’d felt about Sophie. His love for her had been all-encompassing. It had been the colour in his life, the air he breathed, his reason for living. He just didn’t feel that way about Julia and wasn’t sure that he ever would. But if that was the case, how could he go ahead and marry her? Surely Julia deserved more than he could give her, someone who would love her with whole-hearted devotion? Maybe the only honourable thing he could do was to let her go, but he needed to be sure first that he wasn’t making another mistake.
He sighed again because there was no guarantee he would get it right this time, was there?
It was the Captain’s Dinner that night and the dress code was strictly formal. Sophie took great care getting ready although her heart really wasn’t in it. She and Liam were expected to attend as part of their duties but if there’d been a way to avoid going to the dinner, she would have made her excuses.
The thought of spending more time with Liam after what had happened that afternoon filled her with dread. Maybe it was wrong to get upset because he’d told her how much he’d loved her but she couldn’t help it. For the past two years she’d blamed him for the fact their marriage had ended, but now she couldn’t stop wondering if she’d been at fault in some way. What had she done to make him stop loving her?
She tried to push the question to the back of her mind as she finished getting ready. She was expected to act as one of the hosts during the evening and she couldn’t afford to let herself get so distracted that she made a complete mess of things. Stepping in front of the mirror, she checked that her dress really was suitable for the occasion.
Made from filmy layers of silver-grey chiffon, it was the most sophisticated dress she’d ever owned. The softly draped bodice was held in place by spaghetti-thin straps which left her shoulders bare, whilst the split in the front of the skirt revealed glimpses of her slender thighs whenever she moved. She knew that it suited her but she couldn’t help wondering if it was a little too daring. After all, she was part of the crew, not one of the passengers, and she didn’t want to give people the wrong impression…
She sighed because what she really meant was that she didn’t want to give Liam the wrong impression, but why should she imagine that he’d care how she looked? He’d made it clear that although he might have loved her once upon a time, he didn’t harbour such feelings for her now.
It was upsetting to have to face that fact so Sophie blocked it from her mind as she spritzed herself with perfume then found her evening bag. A last check to see that her hair was all right and she was ready to face whatever the evening would bring, although she sincerely hoped it wouldn’t be anything too stressful.
There was a
crowd gathered in the Ocean View Bar when she arrived. Passengers were already queuing up to be introduced to the captain and Sophie wasn’t sure whether she should join them or make her way straight through to the dining room. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Mike Soames heading her way.
‘Just the person I need. Do I have to line up for the introductions or can I go straight in?’
‘I’m sure the captain would like to meet you, Sophie, but there’s no need to line up. Let me give Liam a shout and I’ll take you both through to meet him.’
Mike swung round and waved to someone across the room before she could say anything and her breath caught when she spotted Liam heading towards them. He was wearing a white dinner jacket in honour of the occasion and she couldn’t help thinking how much the formal clothes suited him. The cut of the jacket emphasised the width of his shoulders whilst the colour set off his tan. He’d brushed his dark brown hair straight back from his forehead but one wayward strand had fallen over his left eyebrow, lending him a rakish air that was extremely sexy.
Sophie noticed several women turn to look at him and her heart suddenly began to race. She wasn’t sure if it was seeing how other people reacted that made her look at him afresh but she was suddenly struck by how tall he was, how handsome, how very virile and masculine. In that moment she knew that although their marriage might have ended the attraction she’d always felt for him was still very much alive.
Liam still possessed the power to make her want him as no other man had ever done, and the thought filled her with fear. She couldn’t afford to fall in love with him all over again!
Liam felt a sudden tightness in his chest. Sophie was staring at him and he wasn’t sure what he could see in her eyes but it had the most unnerving effect. It was as though his body had forgotten how to function all of a sudden. His heart had slowed to a crawl, his blood seemed to be stagnating in his veins and as for his breathing…
Well!
In-out, he instructed himself desperately. Take a breath then let it out again. He’d been doing it for thirty-three years but the simple act of getting oxygen into his lungs had never seemed a more daunting task.
He sucked in an extra-large lungful, choked and swiftly recovered, but it wasn’t easy to pretend everything was normal. Was it his imagination or were the vibes in the air making everyone else’s nerves twang like badly plucked guitar strings? He glanced at Mike but the other man seemed oblivious to what was happening right under his nose.
‘Bit of a scrum tonight,’ Mike observed cheerfully. ‘It’s always the same when we have one of these dinners. Everyone wants to have their photo taken with the captain.’
‘I…um…yes. I suppose they do.’ Liam tried to smile even though he couldn’t actually feel his lips. He inhaled again in the hope that a little more oxygen might gee everything up, and groaned when the delicious fragrance of Sophie’s perfume wafted up his nostrils and undid all his good work.
‘Are you all right, Liam?’
The concern in her voice would have been music to his ears if he hadn’t felt so wretched. He could barely breathe, his heart had virtually given up beating and it was best not to mention what his nerves were doing. How could he honestly claim to be fine in these circumstances?
‘I…um…’
‘Quick. Let’s get you both in while there’s a bit of a lull.’
Mike grasped them by the arms and hustled them towards the dining-room. Liam might have protested if he’d had the wherewithal to summon up the necessary reserves. He really needed a few minutes’ grace before he could hope to function like the halfway intelligent being he was supposed to be, but Mike obviously didn’t intend to let the opportunity pass them by.
‘Captain Masters, may I present Dr Liam Kennedy and Miss Sophie Patterson.’ Mike quickly introduced them to the dignified, silver-haired man standing beside the doorway to the dining-room.
‘Delighted to meet you both.’ Captain Masters shook their hands. ‘And may I say how much I appreciate everything you did last night, Dr Kennedy. Your prompt actions undoubtedly saved that young man’s life.’
‘It was a pleasure,’ Liam murmured, gritting his teeth when he realised how inane it probably sounded to describe open-heart surgery as a pleasure.
Fortunately, the captain didn’t appear to think it strange as he thanked Sophie for her help as well. Liam edged away because he couldn’t face the thought of making conversation with only a tenth of his brain cells functioning.
Thankfully, the queue had started to build up again so the captain didn’t try to detain them. Liam strode into the dining-room and quickly consulted the table plan to find out where he would be sitting. He rolled his eyes in despair when he discovered that he and Sophie were on the same table.
‘Table 15,’ he told her tersely when she stopped to check the plan. ‘We’re seated together.’
‘Oh, I see. Right. Fine.’
She didn’t sound as though it was fine and his jaws snapped together with an audible click. Did she have to make it so abundantly clear that she hated the thought of spending the evening with him?
He led the way to their table and punctiliously drew out her chair because he didn’t intend to give her an opening to criticise his manners, or anything else for that matter. He would be politeness itself, cool, calm, collected…
She slid into the seat and he almost leapt out of his skin when her bare shoulder brushed his knuckles. He could feel the hardness of the wood beneath his palms and the softness of her skin against his fingers and his sluggish heart suddenly zipped into overdrive.
Liam took his seat, wondering what he was going to do. If he’d had a choice, then he would have got up and left, but it wasn’t an option when he was expected to act as a host that evening. At any rate, it wouldn’t solve his biggest problem.
He had to decide why he felt this way. It wasn’t just the repercussions it could have on his relationship with Julia—he needed to be clear in his own mind about his feelings. He had firmly believed that he’d got over Sophie and that all he needed to do was to sort out their past mistakes and he could move on, but it wasn’t that simple any longer.
He glanced at her and felt his heart ache with a sudden, knifing pain. Relegating Sophie to the past might not be the solution, after all.
CHAPTER SEVEN
DINNER was a nightmare. Sophie was so conscious of Liam sitting across the table from her that she could barely eat. Every time she looked up, he seemed to be watching her.
She toyed with her food, eating a mouthful of this, a sliver of that, all the time longing for the meal to end so she could escape. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice her lack of appetite because they were too busy enjoying themselves. Gloria and Randolph Walters were on their table again and they kept the conversation flowing.
‘Tell me, Dr Kennedy, what made you decide to take a job on board this ship?’ Gloria smiled at Liam. ‘Was it the opportunity to travel that attracted you most?’
‘Not really. I’d been working overseas and had originally decided to spend some time back home in the UK,’ Liam explained. ‘This job just came up and it fitted in with my plans so I took it. It was as simple as that.’
Sophie picked up her glass, thinking how odd it was that fate had intervened like that. If Dr Hampson hadn’t retired then Liam would never have been able to follow her onto the ship. Would he have tried to get in touch with her some other way? she found herself wondering, but it was impossible to say. It was strangely unsettling to realise that she might never have seen him again so that it was an effort to concentrate when Gloria asked her the same question.
‘I wanted a complete change of scene,’ she replied truthfully. ‘I was in a bit of a rut and decided this job would be perfect. I’d get to see something of the world while I made up my mind what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.’
She put her glass back on the table and glanced at Liam, unable to resist seeing what he thought about her answer. She felt her heart l
urch when she saw the frown on his handsome face. Why did she have a feeling that he was upset by what she’d said?
The conversation moved on but it was difficult to dismiss the idea even though she tried her best to join in. She deliberately avoided looking at Liam again but it didn’t mean she wasn’t acutely aware of him. It was a relief when the meal ended and their waiter announced that coffee would be served in the Ocean View lounge.
Sophie quickly stood up, hoping this would be her chance to escape, but Randolph forestalled her. He offered her his arm with old-world gallantry.
‘Allow me, my dear.’
Sophie hesitated but there was no way that she wanted to offend the elderly man. She slid her hand through his arm, her heart sinking when she saw that Liam was escorting Gloria into the lounge. It seemed they were destined to spend even more time together.
‘Thank you, Mr Walters.’
‘Call me Randolph. Please.’ He smiled at her. ‘I won’t feel quite so old then!’
She laughed, hoping he couldn’t tell how on edge she felt as he escorted her to a table by the window where his wife and Liam were already sitting. ‘I’d be delighted, Randolph. Thank you.’
She accepted the cup of coffee Gloria poured for her and added milk and sugar then passed the sugar basin to Randolph who shook his head.
‘Let Dr Kennedy have it first.’
‘Oh, Liam doesn’t take sugar,’ she said without thinking, then flushed when she realised how revealing that had been.
‘It’s taken me the best part of forty years to work out that Gloria doesn’t take cream in her coffee.’ Randolph winked at her. ‘You must be a fast study, my dear.’
‘I…um…Yes.’ Sophie summoned a smile but it was disconcerting to realise how easily she’d forgotten that she and Liam were supposed to have only just met. She sipped her coffee, thinking how hard it was to perpetuate a lie. You needed to be constantly on your guard otherwise the truth would slip out.
A Very Special Marriage Page 8