‘That’s very true,’ she agreed, her heart aching because she really didn’t have a choice. She had to convince Liam that she didn’t need him and in that way set him free to get on with his life. It wouldn’t be easy because he was already suspicious, but there might be a way—if she could pull it off.
‘At least we’ve got all the messy bits in our lives sorted out at last. It should be all good from here on.’
‘Sounds as though you’ve made some plans,’ he observed, leaning against the desk while he sipped his coffee.
‘I have. It was one of those light-bulb moments—d’you know what I mean? The answer to your problems comes to you in a blinding flash.’ She laughed, hoping he couldn’t tell that her heart was breaking. ‘No wonder you thought I looked a bit strange while we were talking to the Davieses!’
‘I see. You’d just had some kind of revelation, had you?’
He raised the cup to his lips and Sophie felt her insides twist when she saw that his hand was shaking. Was he nervous about what she was going to say, worried about the repercussions it might have? The thought gave her the strength to continue because she couldn’t and wouldn’t do anything to hurt him when she loved him so much.
‘You could call it that, although it’s something I’ve thought about quite a lot in the past. I’ve decided to retrain and go in for midwifery. I always fancied doing it but I kept putting it off for all sorts of reasons. Now seems like the perfect time to take the plunge.’
‘I remember you mentioning that you were interested in becoming a midwife shortly before we found out you were expecting Zoë,’ he said quietly.
‘That’s right,’ she agreed, desperate to convince him that she was telling the truth. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea after all. It made sense to have a complete break from the work she’d always done and what could be better than helping to bring new lives into the world? Her heart lifted just a little because it was a relief not to have to tell him a total lie.
‘Once I realised I was pregnant then everything changed because it wasn’t the right time to think about retraining. As for the past couple of years, well, it was simply easier to carry on doing a job I knew.’
‘But now you’ve decided it’s time you made a fresh start? Is that what you’re saying, Sophie?’
‘Yes, that’s it exactly. Taking this job was the first step, of course, but even then I wasn’t sure what I was going to do after my contract ended.’ She shrugged. ‘I know I claimed that I might go abroad to work but I’m not sure I would have actually done it if push came to shove. It would have been too tempting to go back to what I knew, but now everything has changed. And I have you to thank for that, Liam.’
‘Me? How do you work that out?’
He put his cup on the desk and she felt her breath catch when she saw the bleakness in his eyes. Why did he look so devastated? she wondered sickly. Had he been hoping that she would tell him something other than the fact that she’d decided on a change of career?
Sophie’s mind veered away from that tantalising thought because she couldn’t allow herself to go down that route again. He loved Julia. He must do because he was going to marry her. Those were the facts and there was no basis whatsoever for thinking that he wanted her back.
‘Because if you hadn’t taken this job with the express intention of sorting out the mistakes we made two years ago, I might never have reached this point.’ She summoned a smile but it was one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do, to smile when her heart was breaking.
‘Thank you, Liam. I suppose the best way to describe what you’ve done for me is to say that you’ve set me free. I can put the past behind me at last and start living again!’
Liam wasn’t sure how he managed to contain himself. He wanted to rant and rail at fate for the cruel trick it had played on him. He’d been the one who’d wanted to free himself from the past! He’d been the one to take this job so he could get on with his life! Now he had no idea what the future held in store for him, apart from the fact that Sophie wouldn’t feature in it. The thought almost brought him to his knees.
‘Then all I can say is that I’m glad everything has worked out so well for you.’ He cleared his throat when he heard the ache in his voice because the last thing he wanted was to spoil things when she sounded so happy. ‘At least something good has come out of all this and that’s the main thing.’
‘It has and it’s all thanks to you, Liam.’
She smiled at him, a brilliant, carefree smile that tore holes in what little remained of his composure. There obviously wasn’t a doubt in her mind about this decision she’d made and it hurt unbearably to know that she could cut him out of her life like this.
Liam’s spirits were hovering somewhere around ground level as he went into the consulting room. He sat down at the desk, thinking about what had happened and what it meant. Sophie had drawn that imaginary line under the past that he’d once planned on doing and it was hard to deal with the thought that their paths were unlikely to cross again in the future. She would go her way and as for him…Well, he had no idea what he was going to do. The future suddenly loomed before him and there wasn’t a single thing he could find to look forward to.
It was a busy morning but Liam was glad because it meant he had less time to brood. He dealt with several cases of sunburn, a couple of muscle strains caused by too much sightseeing and then prescribed antihistamine cream for an elderly man who had a nasty insect bite on the back of his leg.
The whole area was very red and swollen so Liam advised him to bathe it in tepid water then apply the cream several times a day to counteract the irritation caused by the insect’s saliva. After that there was a young woman who’d slipped getting out of the swimming pool and twisted her ankle. Her boyfriend brought her into the surgery and they were both dripping wet when they arrived.
He asked Sophie to fetch some towels while he took them into the consulting room. Fortunately, the ankle was sprained rather than broken so he explained that ice packs and paracetamol would help to alleviate the pain. Sophie applied a Tubigrip stocking for support and he advised the girl not to put any weight on the ankle for a couple of days, advice that was met by a marked lack of enthusiasm.
Liam sighed as Sophie saw the young couple out because he didn’t hold too many hopes that the girl would follow his instructions. With the end of the cruise in sight, most people were eager to make the most of their final days on the ship. The best he could hope for was that she wouldn’t make the injury any worse than it already was.
He left Sophie to deal with the paperwork while he went to check on the Davieses and their friends after surgery ended. Thankfully, all three couples reported an improvement in their condition, which was encouraging. There’d been no further reports of passengers being struck down so he phoned the captain and informed him that it seemed unlikely the guests had contracted the bug on board ship.
It was obviously a great relief to the captain because he was fulsome in his thanks as he invited Liam to join him in his cabin for drinks the following evening. He included Sophie in the invitation and Liam promised to pass on the message to her before he hung up.
He sighed as he sank back in the chair. Just two more nights before Sophie left the ship. He only hoped he would get through them without disgracing himself.
Sophie had decided to wear the grey chiffon dress again on the Friday evening. Drinks with the captain would be followed by a gala buffet dinner served on the promenade deck. The passengers were due to leave the ship straight after breakfast the following morning so it would be the last big celebration for them.
Nobody had turned up for surgery that morning. The ship had docked at Mahon and most passengers had decided to spend their last day ashore. She had filled in the time as best she could but there’d been very little to do. When Liam had suggested they should shut the surgery early she had readily agreed.
She’d gone straight to her cabin and packed her suitcase then spent the rest
of the day there. It had seemed safer to stay tucked away rather than run the risk of bumping into Liam. Knowing how little time they had left together was too difficult to deal with. She was terrified that she would do something stupid, like blurting out that she loved him, and it wouldn’t be fair. She had to stick to her decision to let Liam get on with his life, no matter how painful it was going to be.
She paid one last visit to Monica and Bill Davies before she got ready for dinner that night. Although they were feeling a lot better that day, they certainly weren’t well enough to join in the festivities. However, when she arrived at their suite, she discovered that Monica had organised her own party for her husband and their friends. Sophie couldn’t help laughing when she saw the array of bottled waters and fruit juices Monica had ordered to celebrate the last night of their holiday. She ended up staying there far longer than she’d planned and consequently wasn’t quite ready when Liam knocked on her door to escort her to the captain’s cabin.
She quickly fastened the zipper on her dress and groaned when it jammed halfway up. No matter how hard she tried, she simply couldn’t budge it. Holding the front of the dress against her, she went to the door.
‘I’m almost ready,’ she said, trying to control the surge her heart gave when she saw how handsome Liam looked. He was wearing a dinner jacket again that night and there was no doubt that the formal clothes suited him. It was an effort to keep the awareness out of her voice as she explained her predicament.
‘The wretched zip has stuck and I can’t seem to shift it. I don’t want to make you late, so you go on ahead while I change into something else.’
‘There’s plenty of time yet. Let me see if I can sort it out.’ He grinned as he flexed his fingers. ‘I don’t think a zip should present too many problems after some of the complicated surgery I’ve performed recently.’
‘Don’t count your chickens, hotshot!’ she retorted.
‘Oh, ye of little faith! When have I ever let you down?’
‘Never,’ she said huskily, because it was true. Liam had never let her down even though at one time she’d believed he had, and it was just so poignant to be reminded of that now.
‘Then what are you waiting for? Turn round and let Dr Fixit solve the problem.’
Sophie did as she was told and turned so that her back was towards him. She bit her lip when she felt his knuckles brush her spine as he gently tugged at the zip. It was pure torture to feel him touching her like that and not be able to respond.
‘It looks as though a thread has got caught between the teeth of the zip. Hold still while I see if I can snap it off,’ he instructed.
Sophie flinched when she felt his breath suddenly cloud on the nape of her neck as he bent forwards. She could feel the warmth seeping into her body and shuddered convulsively. Her pulse began to beat in heavy, jerky thuds when she felt his hands suddenly grow still.
‘Are you cold, Sophie?’ His voice seemed to grate ever so slightly and she shivered again when she felt the vibrations from it running along her sensitised nerves.
‘I…um…just a little.’
‘That’s strange because you don’t feel cold.’ He laid the back of his hand against her neck. ‘In fact, I’d say you feel rather warm. I hope you aren’t sickening for something.’
‘I’m fine,’ she assured him hastily, because the feel of his hand on her skin was making her body temperature rise even more. She hunted round for an explanation so that he wouldn’t guess what was really going on. ‘I’ve only just got out of the shower so I expect that’s why I’m feeling a bit chilly. It’s rather cool in here, isn’t it?’
‘I hadn’t noticed but, then, I’m wearing a jacket. D’you want me to turn down the air-conditioning? Maybe that would help.’
‘No, it’s OK. I’ll be fine.’
‘Sure?’
He gave her a moment to reconsider then returned his attention to the zip. Sophie bit her lip when it struck her how close she’d come to giving herself away. What would Liam think if he realised the effect he had on her? she wondered sickly. Would he be shocked because it wasn’t what he wanted?
Tears welled to her eyes because it was all such a mess. If only she’d realised how difficult he had found it to deal with his grief after Zoë had died, they might never have reached this point. They might still be together if she hadn’t been such a fool. The thought seemed to pierce straight through the centre of her heart.
‘I think I’ve got it…Yes!’ He let out a cheer as he zipped up her dress.
Sophie hurriedly blinked away her tears before she turned. She had to deal with the situation as it stood and not keep torturing herself with ‘what ifs’. She’d made a terrible mistake by not trusting him two years ago and now she had to live with the consequences. ‘Thanks. I was dreading having to find something else to wear. My clothes are all packed and I expect they’re creased to rags by now.’
‘It would have been a real shame if you’d had to change. That dress really suits you, Sophie. You look lovely tonight.’
‘Why, thank you kindly, sir!’ She dropped him a mocking curtsey then quickly picked up her bag because there was no way she could keep up the pretence. In a few hours’ time she and Liam would part for good and the thought was almost too much to bear. She just had to hold onto the thought that she was doing the right thing because now he would be free to find the happiness he deserved.
Her heart was heavy as they made their way to the captain’s quarters because it wasn’t easy to accept that Liam would spend his life with another woman. A steward met them at the door and offered them drinks. Sophie took a glass of white wine off the tray then made her way into the drawing room. The captain was waiting to receive them so she and Liam stopped to speak to him. He thanked them both for their help during the recent crisis then asked her why she was leaving the ship.
She made some excuse but it was a relief when more guests arrived and they could make their escape. She glanced at Liam as they crossed the room and frowned when she saw the grim expression on his face. It was obvious there was something bothering him, but before she could ask him what was wrong, Mike Soames called him over.
Sophie left the two men talking and carried on. Several people spoke to her and she did her best to respond but her heart really wasn’t in it. She couldn’t stop thinking about how little time she had left with Liam. It had been bad enough when they’d first split up but the thought of them parting now was so much worse. Now there was no anger to buoy her up, just a deep sense of loss gnawing away inside her. It was a relief when Yuri suddenly appeared at her side and provided a distraction.
‘I am so disappointed, Sophie! Why didn’t you tell me that you were leaving tomorrow? I have only just heard the news and I am desolate because I thought we were friends.’
‘Of course we’re friends,’ she said quickly. She felt quite guilty about the oversight, although it was understandable when she’d had so much on her mind of late. ‘And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but it wasn’t intentional, you understand. I just never seemed to find the right moment.’
‘Ah, I see. You were worried in case I was upset?’
Yuri lifted her hand to his lips and tenderly kissed it. Sophie inwardly sighed because he’d completely misunderstood. However, it seemed easier to let it pass so she didn’t bother correcting him.
‘Of course I’m upset, Sophie. I’d hoped that you and I would have the chance to get to know one another better, but these things happen.’ He treated her to an intimate little smile. ‘And we still have tonight to enjoy each other’s company, don’t we? That is some small consolation.’
‘I…um…yes,’ Sophie murmured, her heart sinking because the last thing she needed was to have to spend the night fending off his advances.
She quickly withdrew her hand as a couple of guests came over to speak to him, wondering how she could tactfully explain that she wasn’t interested in him. She didn’t want to be rude but neither did she want to encourage him
when there was no point.
She glanced around the room, seeking inspiration, and felt her heart leap when she discovered that Liam was watching them. Just for a second their eyes held before he turned to reply to something Mike had said, but it was long enough to make every pulse in her body suddenly pound.
Sophie’s head reeled as the blood rushed through her veins. She honestly thought she was going to faint and knew that she had to leave before she made a fool of herself. Yuri was still talking and he didn’t notice her slipping away. She quickly left the captain’s cabin and went out onto the deck, hoping that some fresh air would help. The staff had finished laying out the buffet and there were a few early diners already lining up to be served. When a waiter offered to find her a seat, she shook her head and carried on until she reached a secluded spot near the stern.
She leant against the rail and made herself take several deep breaths until the giddiness began to recede, but even then it was still impossible to make sense of what had happened. How could she explain why Liam should have been jealous when he’d seen Yuri paying her attention? He had Julia in his life now so why should he care what she did?
Unless he still felt something for her, of course.
Her heart began to pound as she stared at the vastness of the sea. Was it possible that Liam still loved her?
Liam wasn’t sure how he managed to restrain himself. Watching that damned fellow making eyes at Sophie was almost more than he could bear! He wanted to go straight over there and order him to keep his hands off her, only he didn’t have the right to interfere.
Pain ripped through him and he realised that he had to get away before he made a spectacle of himself. He made some excuse to Mike then left. The ship was gearing up for the night’s festivities and suddenly the thought of being surrounded by people all intent on having fun was more than he could bear. Maybe it was part of his job to entertain the guests but to hell with duty for once. He needed some time on his own to come to terms with the fact that Sophie would never again be his!
A Very Special Marriage Page 14