by P. Jameson
***
Bethany stopped just outside the bathroom to catch her breath. She was in trouble. So much trouble. Watching Renner wash was the most erotic thing she’d ever seen. All she’d wanted to do was jump in the shower with him and take over the stroking. She could make him feel good. No doubt about that. It was what she did for a living.
But what would happen after that itch was scratched? There was too much between them—both spoken and unspoken—to chance a random encounter.
Looking down at her ruined shirt got her back on track. He needed her to have her head on straight, not be a raging hormone ready to hump him when he’s down.
In the closet she grabbed two t-shirts and some sweatpants from the shelf. As she turned to leave, she spotted the half-open safe. She would’ve just kept going but a flash of red caught her eye. Moving the door aside, she saw it was a scarf. Her scarf. She’d lost it the winter before Renner left.
Pulling the knit material from its place caused a waterfall of memories to flutter to the floor. Pictures. Of her and Ryan and mama. And Renner.
Crouching on the floor, she shuffled through them. They were from mama’s album. The big one she kept under her bed. Had Renner taken these things when he left? A picture of Bethany smiling like a goof was the most worn. It was faded along the edges and looked like it had been touched a lot.
She frowned. What did this mean? Renner had pictures of her. And had kept her scarf. Kept these things in his safe. Like they were prized possessions.
He hadn’t forgotten her.
Layna’s words replayed in her mind. It’s been a lot of years since Renner was in foster care. What you think you know, and what actually is might not be the same.
Accepting that he’d loved her when all she’d felt was hate… well, it wasn’t an easy thing to come to grips with. And now what? What did they have now? Did he still have feelings for her or was he only making amends for the awful things he’d done as a child?
“Beth!” His voice calling from the shower made her jump.
She piled everything back in the safe and ran back to the bathroom. Renner sat on the ledge that formed a seat at one end of the shower, head in hands.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, throwing the door open and stepping in. She crouched in front of him, oblivious to the water crashing down around her, soaking her clothes.
He lifted his eyes to stare at her. “Nothing. I just needed to get you in here.”
Bethany frowned, standing to leave, but Renner grabbed her hips, bringing her between the crook of his legs. His arms banded around her and his face pressed into her belly. She tensed, knowing he was feeling the part of her body she was most ashamed of. His grip tightened, and she couldn’t help herself. She let her hand cradle his wet head.
Renner pulled back enough to lift her shirt to her breasts. He placed tender kisses on her tummy and it felt so good she struggled between wanting to push him away and draw him closer. Wanting him to stop and wanting more.
Before she could decide, he popped the button on her pants and had them down to her ankles. Bethany gasped at the sudden burst of air on her lower half. She wanted to run away. Slap him. Hide. But the look of ownership and wonder on his face stopped her. Anchored her feet to the tile floor and lit a fire between her legs that the water from the shower could never put out.
Gently, he ran his fingers through her short curls seeming surprised. He lifted his head and his gaze was so hot it could incinerate. Up in smoke, from just one look. “I like this.” He gave it a light tug that sent a zing to her core. “I like this very much.”
His erection jerked as if to confirm his words.
“What are we doing?” she breathed.
“Showering.” He stood, carefully. He was probably in pain but she couldn’t tell from the determination on his face. “Arms up.”
She obeyed, and with one swift move, her shirt joined her pants on the floor, leaving her in only her bra. But his eyes zeroed in on the front clasp, and with a flick of his finger, he’d opened it, exposing her to him fully.
“Fuck,” Renner croaked.
The urge to cover herself was almost unbearable but the curiosity to see what he’d do won out.
His fingers trailed from her throat, down between her cleavage, and over the roundness of her stomach, barely touching. Chills broke out on her skin and her breath came in bursts.
She should put a stop to this. Wait until things had settled and he wasn’t recovering from a near death experience. But would he even want her then? Or was this just recompense? Life threatening catastrophes had a way of making people jump into things they weren’t ready for.
But what about the things she’d found in his closet? Maybe he meant what he’d said about her before he’d fallen asleep.
You’re mine.
“You watched me. Now I’m going to watch you.” His voice got very quiet. “Watch while you rub soap all over this luscious body. Pay special attention to these.” He palmed a breast, squeezing before he sat back on the bench.
She shook her head. How could she bathe in front of him? She was too conscious of her flaws.
Renner handed her the soap. “Fair is fair, Bethy,” he husked.
This was going to happen. The look on his face didn’t leave room for argument. And she had watched him. She could do this. She just had to believe that when it was all over and he felt better, he wouldn’t destroy her like he had when they were younger. History repeating itself on a grander scale is what she couldn’t handle.
Beth took a deep breath and stepped under the spray of the faucet.
Chapter Eight
Renner held his breath as Bethany began working the soap into a thick lather. He’d imagined her naked many times, but put the reality and the fantasy side by side, and reality blew the fantasy out of the fucking water. His girl was gorgeous. Her curves narrowed slightly at the waist and flared at the hips. He couldn’t wait to slip between those thighs and thrust home. And her breasts… they were more than a handful.
She closed her eyes as her hands smoothed soap over her arms and stomach, avoiding those twin mounds that had him riveted.
His erection ached now, but he didn’t have the energy to take her the way he wanted. It would have to wait.
“Open your eyes,” he commanded. She did, but they were wary. She was afraid he’d hurt her like he had before. The mere idea broke his heart. He’d show her he’d changed. “Look what you’re doing to me, Bethy.” He grasped his hardness, stroking for an ounce of relief.
Her eyes glazed over and her mouth came open. All he could think about was sliding something in between those full lips. It didn’t matter what. His finger. His tongue. His coc—
She grabbed her breasts, squeezing and worrying her rosy nipples.
His recovering panther purred at the pleasure of watching, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to claim her. Needed to be inside her while they both came. Needed to bite her. Mark her. For fucking life.
“Come here, mate. Now.”
“Your eyes,” she murmured, stepping beneath the water and washing away the suds.
“It’s my cat. Does it scare you?”
She shook her head.
“Good. Now come here. I need to feel you. Taste you.”
“Ren, maybe we shouldn’t—“
When she was close enough for him to reach, he pulled her hips flush with his mouth. “You smell divine.” He swiped his tongue once through her folds and her gasp rang in the air. “You taste like fucking magic, woman. Fuck.” He reached out and cranked the water off. “I have to have you. Now. On the bed.”
“But your wound…”
“Will hurt like hell tomorrow, but I don’t care. I need to be inside you, Bethy.”
He stood, opening the door and reaching around her for a towel.
“Are you sure?” The quiet tone of her voice caught his attention.
Renner turned, grabbing her face and nudging her back against the tile. He kissed her long and
deep, letting everything he felt come through that single connection with her. “I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life.”
She nodded, looking nervous. “I don’t… I don’t do casual sex. You should know that.”
He touched his forehead to hers. “I don’t either. Not anymore.” She was it for him. For the rest of their lives. He’d never bed another woman.
Renner led Bethany to his bed, kissing her down until he hovered over her. He tasted her skin as he worked his way down to her nipples. The pain in his side was screaming but he wanted this, needed this moment with her.
He grazed one of the hard nubs with his teeth and she let out a delicious moan. He sucked it between his lips, wringing more frantic sounds from her. Her hands flew to his hair, pulling. As he made his way lower, closer to the prize, he nuzzled her belly, kissing and nipping while she squirmed with pleasure.
When he was finally crouched between her legs, he sat back to look at her. She was breathtaking like this, splayed out on his sheets, slick with arousal and trembling with need.
“Renner?”
He met her eyes and the question there made his chest tight with regret. “You’re beautiful, Bethy.” He licked his lips. “Don’t ever doubt it.”
He didn’t wait to hear her response. Instead, he put his mouth to her sweet spot, licking, sucking, savoring. Her hand in his hair pulled, but he wouldn’t be persuaded. He’d bring her to the top and push her over before claiming her.
His tongue worked her out while he carefully thrust a finger inside. Her breathy moans urged him on, and when her thighs began to tremble, Renner increased his attention, using his thumb to rub circles over her swollen nub. She was close.
“That’s right, sweet baby. You’re going to come apart for me, and then I’ll finish inside you.”
Another lick and she exploded, crying his name.
Rising up, he kissed away her moans. His wound ached like a mother, but his need for her was stronger. Claim. Mark. He needed to know she’d always be his. Needed that reassurance.
“I’m going to mark you, Bethy. As my mate. Do you understand?”
She tossed her head against the sheets still writhing beneath him.
“It means you’ll belong to me. Always. Do you want that?”
Her foggy gaze cleared with his words. “Is this a panther thing?”
He nodded.
She brought her hand to his face, tracing the furrow of his eyebrows. “I don’t know what I want. This is happening so fast.”
Disappointment slammed him in the chest, but he couldn’t blame her. Everything she thought she knew about him had been upturned over the past few days. Now he had to make a choice. One that could alter their future. Cats didn’t ask before they marked. They just took what they wanted. It was one of the reasons the Ouachita clan lived by the code, because they realized what a violation it was to take away someone’s choice.
He could mark her now. Lock in the mating. Keep his Bethy forever.
Or…
He could wait until she was ready. If she was ever ready. Make the mating mutual. And have a chance at convincing Magic to change the code.
Fighting his animal’s urge was nearly unbearable. Sweat broke out on his brow. His legs trembled with the desire to plunge into her.
He dipped his head to hers, tasting her lips to calm himself. Home. She was his home. How could he take any chance of damaging what they had?
Renner pulled back to look into her eyes. “I won’t mark you today. I’ll wait until you’re sure. But Bethy, you are mine. I’m going to show you what that means. Are you ready?”
Her teeth worried her bottom lip as she gave a tiny nod.
Carefully, he guided his erection into her. She was so tight. The way her silken folds gripped him… Renner bit his tongue to keep from losing control.
When he was all the way in, he found her eyes. “This okay?”
“Yes,” she breathed.
Reaching between them, he pressed on the tender spot at the top of her mound. At the same time, he pulled out and thrust forward.
“Agh!” Her deep, guttural moan told him the motion hit her just right.
He repeated the action over and over. With each thrust, her nails dug into his shoulder. “God, you feel good, Beth.” He placed frantic kisses along her jaw. “Do you know how long I’ve dreamed of this moment?”
Gripping her thighs, he spread her legs farther and plunged deeper, earning another gasp and moan.
Renner pulled back to watch their connection but was distracted by the way her breasts bounced with every push. He wanted to thank the Creator for making her so perfect. Bending his head, he ran his tongue around a tight nipple before sucking it between his lips.
“Renner! I’m going to…”
He felt her tighten around his cock. Fuck.
“Let go, babe. Give me what you’ve got.”
He was close. If she said his name one more time, it would all be over.
Nibbling at the sweet curve of her breast, he realized how different this was from every other encounter he’d had. This wasn’t sex. Not just a fuck to ease his needs. No, they were making love. Maybe he wasn’t marking her, but he was claiming her nonetheless. Claiming her heart as his. Whether she wanted him to or not.
Bethany cried out as her body convulsed around his shaft, pulling him to a release. He slowed his thrusting and then stopped altogether, but didn’t break their connection. He never wanted to leave her body. His breath rushed forward, mixing with her heavy pants. The moment was perfect.
He bent and took her lips tenderly, sliding his tongue against hers.
His strength was slipping. Worth it, he thought as his panther retreated to focus on healing. He was only partially satisfied with no marking, but Renner couldn’t remember a time he’d been happier.
“How do you feel?” he whispered against her neck.
It took a moment for her to answer. “Lost.” Her voice was almost non-existent.
He leaned back to look into her eyes, questioning.
“Lost to something I can’t control. Lost to you, Ren. Now you have the power to ruin me.”
He took her face in his hands. “Never again. Do you understand me? You’re safe here.”
She nodded.
Carefully, he pulled out and rolled onto his side. He’d done a number on his wound. It felt like he’d rolled in razor blade catnip. He dragged Bethy close, tucking the covers around them, and within minutes he was asleep.
Chapter Nine
The sun creeping in through the blinds was the first sign of something wrong. Bethany hadn’t awoken to sunlight in a long time. Usually she greeted the dawn after having already finished a cup of coffee. Or two. Early mornings were almost necessary to her sanity.
She blinked, replaying the events of the night before.
Renner.
His arm around her naked waist tightened. “Good morning, sweet.” His voice was rough from sleep and it sent a shiver down to her toes.
She turned to watch him over her shoulder as his hand slipped up to cup her breast. It was hot and rough and oh so perfect. She bit off a moan.
“What time is it?” she asked as a distraction.
“Ten til nine.”
“Damn it, I’m late. Magic’s going to kill me.”
Renner dropped a kiss to her cheek. “Pretty sure it’s me he’s going to kill. You’ll make it out of this alive.”
“Because you can’t work on the Christmas celebration now?”
He raised a dark eyebrow. “That’s one reason.” He sighed. “I suppose we’ll have to cancel this year. There’s too much to do in the next several days and I’m only partially healed.”
Turning on her side to face him, she decided now would be a good time to spill her plan. “I might be able to save you from Magic’s wrath.” She grinned, and his thumb traced it.
“I love your smile.”
She recalled the picture she’d found in his closet of
her beaming, and her heart warmed. He’d kept that picture for this reason.
“I called Ryan. He’s going to come help get the lodge ready for Christmas.”
His smile faded. “What?”
“He owns a construction company, and when I told him about you and what had happened, he offered to come help. He wants to see you, Ren.”
Renner winced as he sat up. “You told him I got shot?”
She nodded, feeling uneasy.
“You told him what I am?”
Bethany frowned, pulling the blanket around her top. “No. I wouldn’t do that without asking you.”
The relief on his face was heartbreaking.
“He just wants to see you. We don’t have to tell him anything.”
Renner stared at her. “What about us? Will you tell him about us?”
Beth pressed her lips together. This was it. He was going to break her with this.
“Is… is it a secret? Because if you want to hide me away like you’re embarrassed to be with me—”
“Are you kidding? I want to shout it from the fucking mountaintops. I wanted to mark you last night so everyone would know you’re taken. For shifters, it doesn’t get any more public than that. As for your brother, I’ll tell him myself if you don’t.”
Beth let out the breath she’d been holding. “You’re serious? About this, us?” she asked quietly.
He clasped her neck, pulling her forward and pressing his forehead to hers. “Yes, Bethy. Dead. Fucking. Serious. And I’ll wait for you to be sure, but I am going to have you as my own. And everyone will know it.”
A knock on the door broke the moment. Layna entered without waiting for the okay. Beth pulled the blankets tighter and covered her face as a horrifying blush took over. Shit.
Renner sank back on the bed, unruffled. “I think you’re supposed to wait until I say ‘come in.’”
“Yep. That’s usually how it works.”
Beth peeked at Layna.
“So this is serious.”
“You heard all that?”