She wraps her arms around herself. “Yeah, I think so. The whole thing still kind of trips me out though, you know? I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to being able to leave my body.”
“I can’t even imagine.”
Mercy tilts her head to the left as a mischievous grin stretches her lips. “If you want, I could show you.”
“What do you mean you can show me?” I ask, dismayed.
“How to be a Breacher. I can teach you, and then you can be just like me.”
A horrifying thought occurs to me. This can’t be Mercy standing in front of me. It’s Justice. That’s the only explanation. Charging forward, I grab her by the arms. “I told you to leave!”
“Gage, let go. You’re hurting me.”
“I will not let you mess with my mind like this. Get out! Now!”
Nathaniel rushes into the room. “What’s going on?”
“I’m throwing her out of the house,” I tell him.
Nathaniel looks around. “Throwing who?”
“Justice. Who else?”
“Gage, look around. There’s no one here.”
Chapter Eight
Nathaniel
On the last day of Ellie’s life, Nathaniel appeared at her bedside, the parchment paper with her name on it secured in the breast pocket of his coat.
Her entire family was there as well. Her mother’s face was partly absorbed by a handkerchief though it hardly stifled her multitude of tears. Ellie’s father put his large hands on his wife’s shoulders, and hung his head.
In the bed, Ellie lay eerily still. Her once supple skin was sallow. Her stringy hair splayed against the pillow. Her breaths were shallow and far apart.
“Ellie,” Nathaniel whispered into her ear. “It’s time.”
Her eyelids fluttered, but they did not open.
“Don’t worry,” Nathaniel assured her. “It won’t hurt. Just follow the sound of my voice.”
A light visible to only Nathaniel began to glow around Ellie’s body. The glow transformed itself into the shape of Ellie. She stood next to Nathaniel, still bathed in light, looking down upon her body with a sorrowful expression.
“I look so sick,” she commented.
“Not to me.”
Of course he wasn’t referring to her lifeless form. He was talking about her soul, the one that stood next to him, luminous and healthy. He’d never seen a lovelier face, a face he wanted to touch and hold between his hands. Feeling bold, Nathaniel linked his hand with Ellie’s.
“Will they be all right?” she asked him. “I feel awful leaving them like this.”
To look upon them now, sobbing and holding one another, Nathaniel knew it would be difficult to convince Ellie that yes, in time, her family would learn to function without her. “They’ll miss you,” Nathaniel told her. “They’ll be sad for a long time, but then they’ll move on. They won’t forget you, but the pain will subside.”
“I promised to take Will to the lake this summer and teach him how to swim.”
“He’ll go. And when he does, he’ll think of you.”
“I hope so.” Ellie turned to face Nathaniel. “There’s so much I wanted to see and do,” she said, her voice drenched in regret.”
“You can see anything you want.”
“Will it be the paradise I always imagined?”
Nathaniel stroked Ellie’s cheek with his free hand. “It will be everything and more.”
She smiled up at him. “Take me home.”
Still holding hands, they walked together toward the front door. Ellie looked back over her shoulder one last time. When she faced Nathaniel again, she nodded, signaling that she was ready.
The stepped from the cottage into a light so blinding both Nathaniel and Ellie had to squint. His eyesight adjusted quickly. She, not being used to such brightness, shielded her eyes with her hand.
Nathaniel had felt this sensation hundreds of times, yet he never tired of it. The warmth radiated from his face down to his toes and enveloped him as though he was being drenched in the most comforting feeling imaginable. He let it soothe him, not wanting it to end, and he saw Ellie doing the same. Her chin tipped up, her eyes closed, a genuine smile stretched across her face.
“It’s wonderful,” she remarked.
“It is,” Nathaniel agreed.
“I feel … It’s indescribable.”
“And this is just the beginning.”
Beyond the light lay a path of stamped dirt bordered with gray stone. The path wound its way through the most vividly stunning garden conceived. Every kind of plant life was represented, from the traditional to the exotic. Roses mixed with gardenias and sunflowers and a thousand other variations Nathaniel couldn’t possibly name. Trees rooted together forming an immense canopy of shade. Every color burst to life without a single blemish or dead leaf in sight. It was truly an immaculate Garden of Eden.
“Is this heaven?” she asked.
“This is the path to the bridge.”
“So we can’t stay here?”
“We can for a while, if you like.”
“I would like that very much.”
Nathaniel led her off the path and through the garden. Before them, another walkway appeared as if the garden knew where they wanted to go. They stopped when they came to a stream. The water was dark but remarkably clear so they could see all the life that existed beneath the surface.
Ellie giggled as fish jumped in and out of the water. “What fun they must be having,” she said.
“And you? Are you having fun?”
“Is it wrong if I say I am?”
“Of course not. Why would it be?”
Ellie pulled away from Nathaniel and walked a little farther down the stream. When he caught up with her, she said, “I feel guilty.”
“About what?”
“It’s just that I’m in the presence of all this beauty while my family suffers.”
This statement only made her dearer to Nathaniel. Her soul was the purest kind. She was loving, sweet, and gentle. He wanted to give her the world.
“What’s this?” Ellie asked, stopping suddenly.
Nathaniel couldn’t contain his delight. His eyes danced as he watched her survey the picnic laid out for her. Atop a red-checked blanket sat a flawlessly woven basket, open, exposing a treasure trove of food. Their places were set, complete with the finest bone china and crystal goblets. “Shall we?”
“You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?”
“I try.”
“Do you do this for everyone?”
Nathaniel held out a tray of fruit for Ellie to choose from. “I try to make the transition as easy as possible,” he said. “But you should know that I have never dined with anyone before.”
“Why not?”
“Technically, this is against the rules,” Nathaniel said, watching her reaction carefully.
Ellie brushed her fingers across her lips. “I’m sorry. We should go.”
“No.” Nathaniel reached out and touched her arm. “Please stay.”
“I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
“It’s worth it,” Nathaniel said boldly.
Ellie lowered her gaze. “You make me blush when you say things like that.”
“Does it frighten you?”
“No,” she said, lifting her eyes to look directly at him.
“Ellie,” Nathaniel leaned in, his lips inches from hers. “We don’t have much time.”
“Will I see you again? After today?”
Nathaniel hesitated. “I …” He failed to put words together.
Ellie touched her lips to his. It wasn’t a kiss exactly. It was more like her lips came to rest against his momentarily. Nathaniel was too stunned to move at first, but then something stirred inside him, something powerful. Desire, wanting—these were words he’d heard before, but he’d never understood their meaning until that moment.
His hand moved to the side of her face as he kissed her deeply. She tasted of
berries and sugar and love, or at least what he imagined love would taste like.
Gingerly, he laid her back on the blanket and hovered above her. She never once took her eyes off him.
“You are the most beautiful creature in creation,” he said.
She pulled him closer. “I wish it could always be like this.”
“Me too.”
“I thought I only dreamed of you, Nathaniel. To see you here now, to be with you in this way, this is heaven.”
Nathaniel kissed her passionately, and she responded in kind. It was a kiss to last for an eternity, but Nathaniel knew time was running out. They had to be looking for him by now. He’d broken all the rules. He’d pay for this.
“Ellie,” Nathaniel whispered against her neck. “I love you.”
“Well, isn’t that sweet,” said a familiar and unkind voice.
Nathaniel’s eyes popped open, and his head snapped up. It was not Ellie who had spoken those words. It was Isadora. She was standing only a few feet away from them, arms angrily folded across her chest, her eyes full of hate, her teeth clamped together.
Scrambling to his feet, Nathaniel pleaded, “Isadora, please. I can explain.”
“Who are you?” Ellie asked. Her beautiful face was crimson, a mixture of anger and embarrassment.
“I am the end,” Isadora warned.
The picnic disappeared instantly. The ground hardened in Isadora’s presence as if it too was bracing against the onslaught that was to come. The vibrant colors dimmed, and the leaves shriveled.
“What’s happening?” Ellie asked, clamoring to Nathaniel’s side.
“Everything will be okay,” he told Ellie.
Isadora’s glare hardened. “These are not reassurances you can give, Nathaniel.”
“What does she mean?” Panic seeped through Ellie’s voice. “What is she saying?”
“I will protect you,” Nathaniel said to Ellie. “I swear.”
“You can try,” Isadora mocked.
Nathaniel yanked Ellie’s hand roughly. They rushed out of the garden and down the path. He walked too quickly, and Ellie had to scurry to keep up. Isadora was no longer with them, but her presence lingered. The air was still while an unmistakably ominous feeling wafting overhead.
When they reached the bridge Nathaniel stopped short. Ellie slammed into him.
He held her by the shoulders. “Find the light, Ellie. Run for the light, no matter what.”
“Nathaniel, I’m scared.”
“I’m sorry. I ruined everything.”
A low, rumbling sound broke through the air.
“What’s happening?” Ellie asked, her entire body trembling beneath his touch.
There was no time to answer. He grabbed her hand and they bolted across the bridge. The light at the end was small but visible. Nathaniel dragged Ellie along. They had to get to the other side before the light vanished entirely.
“Hurry!” Nathaniel barked.
The light continued to fade. Nathaniel knew they weren’t going to reach it in time, but that only propelled him to run faster. When they finally reached the other side, the light was gone.
“Dammit!” Nathaniel cursed.
“Nathaniel?” Ellie backed up quickly, stumbled, and fell.
Nathaniel turned to see the source of her fear. Isadora, flanked by two very large men, stalked toward them.
“Nathaniel Black,” Isadora uttered authoritatively. “By order of The Assembled, you are hereby charged and will be sentenced for your crimes.”
“Isadora, stop,” Nathaniel ordered.
“Take him.” Isadora stood watch as the two hulking figures moved toward Nathaniel.
They easily overpowered him, but he didn’t put up much of a fight. Nathaniel knew he’d done wrong, but he planned to plead his case, to make them understand. He also had the piece of paper with Ellie’s name on it. He was certain it would be his ticket out of this mess.
Isadora prowled toward Ellie. “Stand,” she commanded.
Ellie scrambled to her feet.
“Eleanor Jane Levinson.” Isadora’s voice was authoritative and cold. “The light has closed. I’m afraid I have no choice.”
Nathaniel roared, struggling against the arms that held him. “Isadora! Don’t do this!”
Ellie looked to Nathaniel, her expression pleading. Her eyes were wide and brimmed with tears; her lips trembled.
“It should’ve been explained to you more clearly.” Isadora almost sounded sympathetic as she placed her hand on Ellie’s shoulder. “When a soul denies the light, there is only one choice left.” Isadora paused for effect. “Purgatory.”
“No.” Ellie’s legs faltered beneath her. “Please.”
“Isadora,” Nathaniel tried. “Punish me if you must, but let her go.”
“Let her go?” Isadora asked innocently. “As you wish.”
Isadora released her grip on Ellie just as a gray swirl of dust kicked up around her. Ellie tried desperately to swat the mist that encircled her, but within seconds she was centered in the storm. A sickening scream exploded from her lips. The gray dust pierced her eyes, her ears, her mouth, shooting through her until her entire body was punctured with holes.
And then she was gone.
Chapter Nine
Mercy
I wake with a start. Gasping, I try to catch my breath. My mother is at my side.
“It’s okay, baby.” She takes my hand in hers. “You’re home. You’re safe.”
She’s right. I’m home. I’m in my room. My bookcase and all my neatly arranged books are just as I left them. The blue jacket I forgot to hang is across my desk chair. And in my bed is my body.
I sit up straight, but I feel like slush, like the pieces of me are soupy and strained and fighting to stay together. I flicker in and out, worrying that without a foothold I’m going to be swept from the room at any moment. I need to get back in my body.
Slowly, I stand. My feet don’t quite connect with the floor, but I move forward anyway, concentrating intensely on the task at hand. My mother walks with me to the bed and together we look down at my body.
“I’m sorry,” my mom says, her voice racked with guilt. “If I could change things for you, I would.”
I look upon her beautiful face and her green, crystal-like eyes. We reach for each other and embrace. Though I can feel her, it’s only slightly. I long to hold her with my true self.
“Do you want me to help you?” she asks.
Confidently, I smile at her. “I’ve got it.”
Turning to face my body, I inhale deeply to steady my nerves. I climb onto my bed and maneuver myself until I’m lying on my body. Sinking into my skin, I meld into each fold, each curve, until every finger and toe is within my reach. Then I open my eyes and see my mother.
“Hello, again,” she says sweetly.
“Mom.” It feels good to hear her name cross my lips, my actual lips.
“Relax a minute and I’ll unhook you.”
I stay still while she quickly flits around removing all the needles and wires from my skin. I try not to wince, not wanting her to know I’m uncomfortable.
When she finishes, she returns to my side and helps me into a sitting position. She keeps looking at me with the same concerned expression, almost like she’s waiting for me to cry out or ask for help, but I’m not about to show her any weakness. If I do she’ll only feel worse.
My muscles are tired, and they don’t want to cooperate, but I bend them to my will, and walk to the family room. Nathaniel and Gage are seated on the couch. They turn at the same time and look at me expectantly, like they are waiting for confirmation that I’m okay.
“Hey,” I say, giving them both a pathetic half wave.
Nathaniel is up in one swift motion. He stands before me, assessing. He cups my face in his hands. Then he kisses me squarely on the forehead, pressing his lips there for a full five seconds. In truth, I don’t want him to pull away. I want to be in his arms.
Gage lo
iters in the background. His unsure face nearly breaks my heart, and I know I have to make the first move. When I reach him, I hesitate for only a second before I wrap my arms around his waist. Shrinking against him, I close my eyes and listen to the sound of his heart. Its rapid beat betrays him, and I know that he’s anxious, nervous, and relieved. Quickly, he kisses the top of my head, and then he releases me.
I sit in my dad’s favorite chair and inhale his lingering scent. “Where’s Dad?” I ask my mom.
“He’s at a conference.” My expression sours. “He didn’t want to go, Mercy, but I basically forced him. He was driving himself crazy with worry, but he’ll be back tomorrow,” she says. “Can I get you some tea?”
I nod.
Before she leaves the room, my mother gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I don’t mind the affection from any of them. Being back in my body, I crave their touch. It’s good to feel whole again.
Gage and Nathaniel, like two caged animals waiting to pounce, stare at me.
“What?” I finally ask them.
“Sorry,” Gage speaks first. “It’s just good to see you sitting there.” He shifts uncomfortably and clasps his hands together. “I feel like it’s my fault this happened to you.”
“Don’t do that to yourself. It wasn’t you. It was this.” I show them the scar on my wrist, the one from my tracking device.
“I know, but, still …”
“I had the weirdest dream about you,” I say to Gage. As soon as the words are out of my mouth I see Nathaniel’s jaw clamp closed. He doesn’t like that I’m dreaming of Gage.
“What did you dream?” Gage asks.
“We were in my kitchen, and I was trying to convince you to become a Breacher. Weird, right?”
Gage fidgets and flashes a look to Nathaniel.
“What?” I ask.
Gage and Nathaniel trade knowing glances, which only makes me more nervous.
“What?” I ask again.
“I don’t know how to say this,” Gage says slowly, “but it wasn’t a dream.”
I scoot to the front of the chair. “What do you mean?”
Nathaniel holds his hand up, signaling for Gage not to say anything, and then he turns his attention to me. “When you were in jail, did you have a dream about me and Gage driving to rescue you?”
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