by Hart, Cary
“What?” I shake my head in disbelief. “What do you mean she didn’t show up?”
“She’s not here. She didn’t come.”
That’s not like Penny. When I called weekly to talk to Mama Ang she would go on and on about what they did that week or what they had planned for the next. And when I talked to Penny, she gushed about how nice it was to finally have someone she considers a mother figure. Penny loved her, and I know Mama Ang felt the same.
“Something’s not right. I need you to get out.” I throw the car into reverse waiting for Freya to get out.
“I can’t get out until you put it in park.”
“Shit, I’m sorry.” I shift it into park. “I’ll call you later.”
“You better,” she replies as she jumps out and slams the door.
I know Mom will be upset that I left, but how can I stay when someone Mama Ang cared about could possibly be in trouble?
Pulling out of the parking lot, dread fills my stomach as I reach for my phone. I may not have Penny’s number, but Nina will.
“Call Nina Sanders.”
Nothing.
“Damn it.” Straight to voicemail.
“Call Niki Sanders.”
Nothing.
“Shit!”
My foot becomes like lead as I watch the odometer slowly rise. The unknown scaring the fuck out of me. Seconds turn into minutes and I have no clue where I am or how far I’ve traveled when the phone rings.
I quickly answer. “Shapiro.”
“She’s in trouble,” a panicked voice comes over the speakers.
“Nina?”
“It’s Penny. She’s had an accident and …” She’s unable to continue as she sobs into the phone.
“Is she okay?”
Nothing.
“God dammit, Nina. Is. She. Okay?” I try to hold back. My body stiffens, my hands grip the wheel. Waiting for the answer I’m not sure I can bear to hear.
“Calm the fuck down, Shapiro,” Niki intervenes. “Penny’s had an accident. She’s alive and will eventually be fine.”
“I’m sorry, it’s just—”
“We are following the ambulance to the hospital,” she interrupts. “Just hurry up and get here.” The line goes dead. Niki ending the call before I can find out the details.
Tapping the screen to the navigation panel, I search for the hospital, the GPS notifies me that I’m forty-five minutes out.
Not giving a damn about the speed limit, or any law for that matter, I push it. The sooner I get there, the better. I have to make sure she is going to be okay.
It’s my fault.
“Fucking feelings!” I pound the steering wheel a couple times.
If I would have kept my emotions in check, we wouldn’t be here. I would have made sure I knew where Penny was going or what she was doing.
Instead I let it all get the best of me.
Never again.
I have let this happen one too many times and I’ll be damned if it happens again. This time, I’ll keep her safe.
Failure is not an option.
It’s crazy how one situation can take you from the present to a past you never wanted to repeat. One you hoped to forget over time, but this, right here, is one of those déjà vu moments.
Throwing my SUV into park, I run through the emergency room doors. The stuffy air with the undertone of bleach suffocates me as soon as the automatic doors close behind me.
Jogging up to the nurses’ stations. I holler out, “Penny Reed was brought in by ambulance. I need to—”
“Sir.” One of the nurses tries to interrupt, but I keep going.
“I need to know if she is okay. I’m here …”
“Are you family?” she counters.
“No.”
I know where this is going. There is no way in hell she is going to let me back there.
“Then I’m going to have to ask you to take a seat over there.” She points to the waiting room directly behind me.
My gaze swivels over to the waiting room. A TV plays quietly in one corner, while a couple kids bounce around in the other. They’re fighting over a magazine neither of them could read.
Seats are filled with children crying, people hacking and family members waiting to hear the fate of their loved ones behind the cold metal doors.
This isn’t for me.
“I think I’ll just step outside for a minute.” I turn on my heel, but before I could reach the doors, I hear Niki call out for me.
“Shapiro. Penny’s this way.” She waves for me to follow her.
“Thank God.” I close the distance between us, throwing my thumb over my shoulder. “That was too much.”
“I know, but Shapiro,” Niki says, lowering her head.
“What is it? What aren’t you telling me?” I try to move past her, but she holds out her hand. “Listen. I just drove two hours in less than an hour and a half. My great-aunt passed away and I didn’t get to say bye and her funeral was today. That girl”—I point over her shoulder, while I scan the area behind the windows—“is back there because I failed her.” I look down and Niki lifts her head. Her emerald eyes filled with worry.
“Listen. I know how you feel. I’ve been in your shoes. The feeling of helplessness, but when you go back there. Don’t ask questions. Just …”
“Do nothing?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Niki …” I squeeze my eyes shut. “Do you know what you are asking me to do?”
“Yeah.” She reaches up between us and lays her hand on my shoulder. “Look at me.”
Opening my eyes, I look at her, and in that moment, I understand. She is bearing the same look I have worn time and time again. Sometimes, no matter how much you want to help someone, they must want to be helped.
“She’s hurt pretty bad. I just need you to know that.”
“Shit.” I reach up gripping my hair in my hands.
“Let’s go. Nina will fill you in when we get back there,” Niki says while reaching over to alert the nurses’ station. “Heading back to Penny Reed’s room.”
With a quick buzz the doors open and as soon as we round the corner, Nina is coming out of a room.
“Thank God you’re here.” She meets us halfway. “She was asking for you, but they just gave her something to sleep.” Nina reaches out to stop a nurse. “Where’s the closest vending machine.”
“In the waiting room,” the nurse, who seems in a hurry, takes off, but hollers out, “but if you give me ten minutes I’ll be checking on your friend. I can get you something then.”
“Is it okay if I go in?”
“Yeah, but she’s out cold. Let her sleep. It’s part of the process.” Nina reaches out for Niki’s arm. “Why don’t we give him a minute and you can walk with me to the vending machine.”
“Hell no! That place is swarming with coughing, germ infested kids.”
“You work at a school?” Nina laughs.
“Usually nine out of ten is healthy. They are out there because they aren’t.”
Nina rolls her eyes. “We’ll be back in a few.”
“All right.”
Nina and Niki head toward the waiting room and I stand there, gripping the handle, scared to see what is on the other side of the door.
A girl who is broken, from a pain I could have prevented.
“Here.” The nurse from earlier hits the handicap button and the door opens. “I’ll have maintenance look at that.”
“Uh, thanks,” I reply, refusing to admit the door is fine.
I’m just a coward.
Taking one step at a time, I walk in to see Penny lying in the bed, IV’s attached. Wires tucked under the blanket leading to a heart monitor that is beeping a slow rhythm. Avoiding her face, I walk over to a window that gives me a view of the world outside. People coming and going. It’s amazing how one place can be filled with so much hope and so much sorrow.
Glancing over in the corner are two chairs, frayed with wear and tear. From vi
sitor after visitor worrying over their loved one who was rushed here. Emergency rooms aren’t like your typical hospital patient rooms. These are sparse, but functional, for the unknown emergency.
Penny’s here because of that. Seeing the wires, I wonder what took place? Did they have to run around? Were there doctors and nurses surrounding her trying to save her life?
Shaking off the thoughts, I raise my head and look up to the ceiling, closing my eyes to say a silent prayer.
Help me. Give me the strength to get through this. I need you.
I’m not sure who I’m praying to, but in this moment, I feel a sense of ease. Maybe it’s Mama Ang. Is she here? When I used to call and check on Penny she would always say Mama Ang was her guardian angel. Could she be right? Is she here?
“I need you. I don’t know what to do,” I whisper.
As if she were here, I hear her say, “Frances, you have always known what to do. Just listen to your heart, boy.”
And just liked that everything becomes clear.
Picking up a chair, I carry it over to Penny’s bedside, taking a seat.
Her face is free from any marks, but her arms are sprinkled in fresh bruises and bandages cover some kind of scrapes.
Lying here she looks peaceful, yet by her appearance, you know what led her here was anything but.
“Penny …” My voice barely audible. “I promise, from here on out, you have nothing to fear. I’ll take care of you. And I swear on Mama Ang that I will find the bastard that did this to you.”
“Sir.” Penny’s nurse walks in with Nina following. “I need to get her vitals.” She makes her way toward the bed.
“No problem. I was just leaving.” I give her a curt nod. “Nina, you stayin’ here?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I have something I need to take care of. Don’t leave until I get back.” I rush out of the room and out of the ER to call in a favor from the man in charge.
Swiping my phone to life. I scan my contacts until I find his number and hit send. A few rings later he picks up.
“Ford Phillips.” My boss and the owner of the Spotlight picks up.
“It’s Shapiro. I have a situation and I need your help.”
After a few minutes of explaining what happened, he didn’t hesitate, knowing how close this hits home with me.
“You don’t have to say anything else. I’ll have my people get on this today.”
“Thanks, man. I really appreciate this.”
“We’re all family here. No thanks necessary.” He pauses. “Hey, Bianca is calling. I’ll talk to you later. Call if you need anything else.” Ford ends the call.
Ford Phillips, the man of opportunities, he didn’t care about my past when he offered me a job at Spotlight—New York. Then when that past came knockin’ on my door and I had no choice but to run. He didn’t slam the door. Nope, he asked where I was going and opened another one. Offering me a place to stay and a job that pays extremely well.
He didn’t have to help me, but he did and if there is ever an opportunity that I can repay the favor, I’ll be there.
Until then, I’ll take whatever he is willing to give to help me keep my promises to the girl who has already had so many broken.
Penny
“Let me help,” Shapiro offers and this time I don’t have the energy to fight him.
After sliding into the soft, worn leather seat, Shapiro reaches up for the seat belt.
“Penny, I’m going to buckle you in now. You okay with that?” He asks permission and I hate that he has to ask, but I’m thankful he did.
“Okay.” My voice raspy, my throat sore.
Stretching the seat belt as far as it will go, he leans over and buckles it in. Careful to not rub up against me, clicking the belt in place.
“You doing okay?” He stands with one hand on my seat and the other on the door.
“I just want to sleep,” I croak out.
“That’s the concussion talking.” He tries to smile, but his lips are tight. Somehow, he has inherited me, without a family to lean on. He is all I have after Mama Ang.
Oh God. Mama Ang.
Ready to go. I begin to reach for the door.
“I got it.” Shapiro waits for me to tuck my hand back inside and shuts the door. Running around to the driver’s side, climbing in.
“How about you lean back and rest. It will probably take us an hour to get back to the club.” He holds up a hand and begins to count off a list. “We need to pick up your meds, I called in a few groceries, but don’t worry. It’s curb-side.” Shapiro picks up his phone and begins to scroll. “Oh yeah. We need to run by Niki’s. Nina dropped off your clothes there, so we didn’t have to run all the way out to her house.”
“Can we go?” I blurt out. At this point, I don’t care who does what. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep until this pounding stops.
The past week, it’s all I have done. Sleep, eat and take vitals. Luckily Niki knew someone at the hospital who could pull some strings and got me an extended stay, so I was able to rest up and we could figure out where I was going to go. I just never thought it would be back to the same man who tried to help me in the first place and now he’s helping me again.
“Sure.” He shifts it into gear and pulls out.
After the accident I had a hard time recalling what led up to my fall, but then Shapiro walked through those doors and everything hit me like a freight train.
Mama Ang.
The funeral.
Rolling my head from side to side, I can’t help but fight the questions building inside. The need to know greater than the need to forget.
“Penny, if you need to talk, I’m here,” he says as he comes to a rolling stop at a red light. “I know I’m not Mama Ang, but …”
Letting my head fall back against the headrest, I turn to look at him. “Did you go to her funeral?”
I know he doesn’t want to talk about this, but if he wants to talk, this is what it’s going to be about.
Watching his Adam’s apple bounce, he finally answers, “Yes.”
“Was it how she wanted it?”
“I’m not sure.” He breaks our eye contact and pulls off once the light turns green.
“Why not?” I demand.
Mama Ang took him in summer after summer and this is how he honored her?
“She wanted a cotton candy pink casket, bedazzled in jewels, edible floral arrangements and a cupcake bar set up.” I smile at the reason. “Because she always used to say—”
“A cupcake a day, keeps the devil away,” we both say in unison.
“Yeah. Did she get that?” My eyes begin to burn, and I know the waterworks are coming, but I’m tired of holding back and holding in.
So, I sit there, letting tear after silent tear, roll down my cheeks.
“Hold on.” He taps the navigation screen a few times. A ringing now coming over the speakers.
“Hey, brother. I have been worried about you.”
“Freya, I don’t have much time—”
“The hell you don’t,” she interrupts.
“I’ll explain later, but I need to know. Tell me about the funeral.”
“You want to know all the quirky details. Like what? The pinker than pink casket with sequins and crystals. The edible flowers that attracted a ton of bees causing Danya, who thinks she is allergic to everything, to run for her life or the cupcake station with a sign that said Eat or burn in hell.”
“That works. Call you later.” Shapiro taps the screen and ends the call.
“Did you just hang up?”
“Yes.”
“Rude,” I grumble, while fiddling with the seat controls.
“You wanted to know and if you don’t cut my sister off …” He trails off as I can feel his stare on me. “Never mind, you’ll understand when you meet her.”
When? Did he say when?
Does he plan on introducing me to his family? What does that even mean? I can’t. I can’t keep
working my way through his family.
Flustered, I keep messing with the buttons and instead of lying back, the seat moves forward causing my bruised knees to hit the dashboard. “Oh! Oh! Oh my God.” I fumble with the buttons till I finally give up. “Make it stop.”
Pulling into the parking lot. Shapiro throws it into park and runs around to my side flinging open the door. Instantly moving the seat back. “What are you trying to do? Adjust your back? Lie back?”
“Both.” I look away. The scrunch of the leather moving beneath me, my only notification he’s still there.
“How’s that? Good?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“I have to run in here to pick up your meds. It shouldn’t take too long.” He leans in to grab an envelope on the console. Unbuckling my seatbelt his hand brushes against the back of my arm.
A chill runs through my body, goose bumps instantly pop up.
“You cold?” His voice softens.
“I guess so.” I answer the best I can. How can I possibly admit to him that his touch is the one that caused me to shiver? When I don’t even want to admit it to myself?
“I got something.” He runs around to the back and opens the trunk. Coming back around with a red and black plaid flannel blanket in tow. “I almost forgot I had this back there.” He throws the cover across my legs. “Mama Ang made me carry it. Just in case I broke down during the winter. Said this”—he pats the blanket—“and a single candle would save my life.”
“Sounds like her.” I tug at the edge of the blanket bringing it up and tucking it under my chin.
“Here.” Shapiro flips on the seat warmer. “This should help.”
“Thanks.” I close my eyes trying to find a little relief from the pounding in my head.
“I’ll just be a few.” I hear the locks click before he carefully shuts the door.
A few.
That’s all I need. Snuggling into the comfort of the flannel. I let the soft sounds of the breeze and muffled voices outside take me under.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Tyler strides toward me like a man on a mission. The look on his face, concerned. Almost desperate.
“Mama Ang passed away and today’s her funeral.” I tie the belt of my black cotton wrap dress around my waist.