“I’m on a tight leash, Doc.” He took her hand in his and moved it over to her own leg. “That’s probably safer. For both of us.”
“But—”
“I get it.” He looked straight forward, concentrating on the scenery through the windshield. “You don’t want this to go anywhere. Because of my past. I understand. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“So if I could get over your past—”
“But you can’t. I can’t give you what you want, Doc, and we both know it.” His jaw ticked, his nostrils flared, but still he didn’t look at her. “Don’t make this into a fairytale because it’ll only hurt us both.”
Even as her heart dropped to her toes, she knew he knew her, knew she’d concocted all kinds of happily-ever-scenarios. Fantasies. Dreams. And she’d just awakened to the stone-cold reality.
She’d been fooling herself. And dammit, he knew that, too. Of course he would. She’d been told for as long as she could remember her emotions, her every thought, registered on her expressive face.
His hand reached for her face before he dropped it back into his lap without touching her. “I don’t wanna hurt you, Frankie. And I sure as hell don’t wanna end up with a broken heart.”
She laughed. She couldn’t help herself.
His eyes narrowed and he scrutinized her face, every miniscule pore. He shook his head and went back to watching the road better than the taxi driver. “It doesn’t matter.”
Oh, but it did. It mattered like nothing ever had before. She hadn’t ever felt about any man the way she felt for Xavier. He filled her dreams, her fantasies. He might just have ruined her for any other man.
Christian, damn him, had been right. She’d gotten in too deep with Xavier and had lost her heart to him.
The taxi slowed and stopped. Xavier opened the door, stepped out and handed some bills to the driver. He held his enormous hand out to her. She debated getting out her own door instead of sliding across the seat and accepting his help. She couldn’t resist touching him. She’d give herself the next twenty-four hours. They’d be going home, back to reality in the morning and she needed to kill all her delusions by saturating herself in his attention, drowning in everything Xavier.
She slid across the seat and slipped her hand into his. He tugged as she pushed off the seat and the momentum sent her into his arms. She slammed into his chest and he heaved a breath at the impact. He held her for a moment as the taxi rolled away.
“The decision wasn’t that hard, was it?”
Her brows crinkled. “What?”
“Whether or not you were going to accept my help out of the cab.”
“Oh. I just wondered if—”
“Don’t wonder.” He released his hold on her body, but not of her hand. “Just do what feels right. If it’s too much, I’ll tell you.”
How about if I rip your clothes off and have my very dirty way with you? Too much?
His hold on her hand became a vise and he choked softly. “That might be more than I can handle.”
Heat raced into her cheeks. She buried her face in his shoulder. “I did not just say that.”
He chuckled. “Not out loud, no, but the look on your face said more than any words could. And just going by that, no matter what you were thinking, it would definitely be more than I can handle.”
Thank heaven for small miracles. At least she hadn’t told him what she was thinking.
He shook his hand free of hers and took her by the shoulders, towering over her. His face, an interesting combination of serious and amused, ended up right in hers. He kissed the tip of her nose. “Enough of this. We’re just gonna drive ourselves nuts. How about no more talk about the things we want and can’t make happen? Let’s concentrate on the day. No more. No less. Just today. Just be with me, right here, right now. That’s all I ask. Let’s live in the moment.”
She stopped and looked up into his eyes. “Okay. I can do that.”
He grinned and her heart stuttered. “Great. Come on.” He tugged her hand. She walked along next him, not paying much attention to where they went because she couldn’t look away from the bright gold rounded top of the building in front of her.
“It’s beautiful.” She put a hand up to shield her eyes from the glare of the morning sun. “What building is this?”
“The House.” He shrugged.
“Have you ever been inside?”
He nodded and she could tell the thought didn’t thrill him. He moved behind her and slid his arms around her waist. He stepped into her, their bodies pressing together. No intimacy accompanied the act, almost like he sought comfort.
“My dad had an office in there. So yeah, I’ve been inside. Many times.” His tone seeped sadness, loneliness and she had the desperate need to snuggle into him. “I can take you inside if you’d like.”
“No.” She shook her head. She had no desire to see a building containing so many bad memories for him. “Thanks. Where are we off to next?”
He pointed and Frankie glanced over to see a huge steeple towering above the tree line. He didn’t wait for her to say a word before stepping away from her. Taking her hand, he headed in the direction of what she could only assume would be a church.
It wasn’t long before they stood in front of another old building. She placed her hand against the red brick and smiled. She knew he’d think she’d lost her mind, but she couldn’t help herself. She pressed her ear to the cool brick and listened.
He sidled up next to her and pressed his ear to the building, his face only inches from hers. “Whatcha tryin’ to hear?”
She smiled. “The stories.”
He closed his eyes and let silence drift between them for a few moments. Then he gasped and his eyes flew open. “Did you hear it?”
“No. What?” She ground her ear against the rough surface. “What’d you hear?”
“This church was built in 1809,” he said with a grin, “and some really important anti-slavery speeches were given within these walls.”
As Frankie stared at the serious expression on his face, giggles bubbled up from her toes. He cracked a smile and she lost all composure. Palms to pecs, she pushed him. He stumbled backward and tripped over a bush. A squeak erupted through her laughter and she reached out to steady him. Evidence of her humor leaked out the corners of her eyes. He put a hand on his abdomen and laughed along with her.
These were the times she knew she would mourn when their fairytale ended.
21
The last time Xavier walked these streets, seen these sights he’d been a child on the annual field trip. Back then he hadn’t enjoyed the outing. The other boys always found a way to belittle him, even physically hurt him. The girls ignored him, which didn’t bother him too much. Better that than having them tease him. The characters in seventeenth century garb annoyed him. He’d played sick more than one year.
Today’s venture couldn’t have been more different from those of his memories. Frankie didn’t make him feel nervous or self-conscious or fear for what might attack him as he rounded the corner. And yet, it seemed the lack of fear scared him even more.
Frankie unnerved him. With her tender gaze, her gentle smile, her stubborn streak, and her kick ass body, she made him want things. Want home and hearth. Want her.
“Ohmigosh!” She jerked on his hand. “We have to go in there.”
He looked up at the sign. His heart jumped. “Um, okay.”
Ice floated in his veins. His body went numb as Frankie led him into the jewelry store. He’d purchased a lot of gifts for women over the years, but never jewelry. The sparkly shit was waaay too personal and always sent the wrong message.
But as she entered the store, she didn’t rush to the jewelry cases and drool over the glitter and gleam. She released his hand and reverently strode to the middle of the room where she closed her eyes. He imagined once again she tried to hear the voices of the past.
He walked up behind her and slipped his hands around her waist, rested his
chin on her head. She leaned back into him and sighed.
“Do you hear anything?”
She shook her head, turned in his arms. The serenity on her face calmed him. He never wanted this moment to end. Going back to real life, walking away from his feelings for her might just kill him. He’d never been a man to think about the feelings of the woman in his arms, but Frankie mattered to him.
She laid her head against his chest and sighed again. He simply held her, breathed in her sweet, slightly exotic scent, basked in her warmth. Other passersby made sure to scoff or snort or roll their eyes. One kid even told them to ‘get a room’.
Frankie pulled back, but Xavier held on. If she wanted to stay like this all day, he had nowhere he’d rather be. The rest of the world could go to hell.
Her fingers moved over his chest. “Do you know the history of this building?”
“Yeah.”
“Some of the greatest authors in all of American literature were published in this building.” Her head tipped back, her neck stretched. Her eyes moved over the high ceilings and tall walls. “Just being here humbles me.”
He knew how she felt, but his humility had everything to do with the woman in his arms and nothing to do with the history of the building they stood in.
“Do you read, X?”
He laughed. “Nope, not unless it’s a Sports Illustrated or something like that.”
“Oh, come on, you’ve never read Dickens or Emerson or Hawthorne?” Her raised brow and quirked lip made him laugh harder.
“Of course I’ve read them. I did graduate high school.” He flattened his hand against the small of her back, urging her soft body against his hard one. “I just have other things I prefer to do with my time.”
Instead of melting at his words, she stiffened. She stepped out of his hold, pretending total nonchalance and failing miserably. He should have known his suggestive remark would take her to an unwelcome place, should have known she would think of the other women haunting her from his past. But he’d only been thinking of her, and what he preferred to do with her.
She took three steps toward the door and stopped. Her shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. She turned around, her lips tight. Another deep breath. He would love to be a mind reader, because, right now, her silence flayed him.
With timid footsteps she walked back up to him and took his hand in hers. Her attempt at a smile broke his heart. “It seems there are ghosts here after all.”
He threaded his fingers through hers and had her back out on the street between one breath and the next. If he thought his feelings for her unnerved him, he’d been wrong. This was worse. Her silence flat-out, hands-down scared the hell out of him.
They walked through the streets in an irritating quiet, making him want to scream at the top of his lungs, just to break the ice frozen around them.
As they neared Faneuil Hall, a street performer approached. He plucked his tri-cone hat from his head and bowed low in front of Frankie. “Welcome, my lady.”
She let go of Xavier’s hand to lift pretend skirts so she could drop into a curtsy. “Thank you, kind sir.”
He didn’t look at Xavier and now that the guy had Frankie’s full attention, he took her hand to kiss her knuckles. A blush shot into her cheeks, her lashes lowered demurely.
“And what be thy name, beautiful lady?”
Really? Seriously? She’s buying this crap?
“Fr- Frankie.”
Apparently she bought it hook, line, and sinker.
Mr. Charmer smiled and put his hat back on his head, but he seemed to jump into the twenty-first century. “I’m Jake. Are you here long? Maybe we could—”
“She’s with me.”
Frankie’s eyes shot to him as if she’d forgotten he stood in the vicinity. Hell, she’d probably forgotten he still existed in the frickin’ state.
“Oh sorry.” Jake stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest. “I didn’t realize you were with someone.”
Yeah, ‘cause women walk around holding the hand of totally random guys. Nice try, asshole.
As Jake walked away to approach a family, Frankie faced him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s really not. Although I’m not really with you with you, we are together seeing the sights today. I shouldn’t have acted that way.” She shook her head. “I don’t really have a lot of experience with flirting.”
“Oh, come on, Doc. I don’t buy that.” He initiated a slow stroll and she followed suit. “He was right. You are a beautiful woman. Which means you have to get hit on all the time. Hell, I’ve seen the guys do it in the locker room.”
“That’s different. The guys don’t really mean anything by it. They can’t help themselves. Probably because I blush like a lobster anytime they tease me. But I don’t get hit on. Not by real guys.”
She couldn’t be that naïve. It had to be an act. Except he’d seen the way she fended off the guys on the team with a blush and an eye roll. He’d assumed she really wasn’t interested in mixing business and pleasure.
“Let me ask you this: has a guy ever asked you about your melons in the grocery store?”
“Sure. All the time.”
Xavier laughed. “He was hitting on you.”
“Oh.”
“Has a guy ever asked to buy you a drink?”
“Of cour— Oh! I thought they were just being nice.”
Xavier shook his head. As much as it pained him to even think it, maybe it was a good thing she had Christian to keep the letches away from her.
He’d protected her from the cretins last night and it thrilled him to do it the rest of their trip.
He grabbed her hand. “Come on. Let’s go shopping.”
“Okay.” She skipped to catch up with him. “I like to shop, but don’t get much time to do it.”
“Well, today is your lucky day because we have hours to kill and shops galore.”
They walked into the marketplace and the buzz of people thrummed in Xavier’s blood. Frankie approached a booth full of nothing but hats. She took a tri-cone from the rack and put it on his head.
“You look very handsome, sir.”
He laughed and took a plain white nightcap looking thing, plopping it on her head. The elastic snapped over one ear, sitting totally lopsided. She reached up to straighten it and burst out in giggles. She looked ridiculous, like she had a cotton ball on top of her head.
“Would you like a picture?” A random tourist stopped and smiled.
Frankie grinned and handed the woman her phone. “We’d love one.”
Xavier wasn’t so sure about having evidence of the absurdity, but if that’s what Frankie wanted, he’d happily oblige. He wrapped an arm around her and she leaned into him. They both smiled and, after a flash, the woman handed over Frankie’s phone.
“I am so putting that online.”
“Oh no, you don’t.”
Frankie frowned. “What? You don’t wanna be seen with me?”
“No, I don’t want anything that makes me look like an idiot floating around the World Wide Web.”
She rolled her eyes. “You take life too seriously, X. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you are missing out on a lot of funny stuff.”
He whipped the hat off his head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means—” She took her bonnet thingy off and placed it back on the rack. “—I laugh more at myself than at anybody else. I’m constantly doing dumb things that if I didn’t laugh, I’d probably have to cry. Or hit something,” she added pointedly.
“Got it.” Yeah, he understood alright. He did tend to take life too seriously. He’d spent so much time having people laugh at him, he’d never learned to laugh with them.
***
Frankie yawned and leaned against the wall of the elevator. She and Xavier had done the entire Freedom Trail and, although she’d had the time of her life, exhaustion covered her like a cloak.
The plan for the rest of the night consisted of a nice hot shower then sliding into the soft bed and passing out cold. She couldn’t let her thoughts drift to who would be sleeping next to her in the big, soft bed.
Her stomach bubbled with butterflies and her heart thumped a little harder.
The more time she spent with Xavier, the more intense her feelings became. Even in the moments where he’d been frustrated or ornery or … jealous—her heart stuttered again—she’d savored their time together. For however long they had.
She yawned.
“Tired?”
“Yeah.”
Xavier put a hand over his own mouth to cover his jaw-cracking yawn. “Me, too. Are you hungry?”
“No.” She shook her head. “We totally pigged out today. I may not eat for a week.”
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Xavier held out his hand, she slipped her fingers through his as they headed down the hall.
“I had a really great time today, Doc.”
“Yeah. Me, too.” She leaned into him. “Thanks for showing me the sights.”
He kissed the top of her head. “Thanks for showing me it’s okay to laugh at myself. Turns out I’m kind of a funny guy.”
Xavier wasn’t sure how he’d done it, but he survived another night sleeping next to Frankie. She hadn’t protested when he’d pulled her against his body. She’d only sighed and snuggled into him. She’d fallen asleep on his chest, a leg over his thigh and neither of them moved. He hadn’t slept. Not a wink. He felt her heart beat in harmony with his. Her breath whispered over his chest, stirring the hair dusting his pecs and he’d wanted to savor every moment.
A little part of him grieved their time together had come to an end. He didn’t want to leave the hotel room this morning. He’d drug his feet getting through the airport. Now they were on the plane, ready to go up-up-and-away and he wanted to drop onto the floor and throw a tantrum.
Out of Left Field Page 16