Not physically anyway.
Memories threatened to haunt me, but I tried my hardest to push them all back and only think about the good things. To only stay in my bubble and let happiness consume me.
His hand slipped around my waist and he pulled me against him. “Fuck,” he whispered and bent down, so his face was level with mine. “You turn me upside down, Elodie.” I placed my hand on his chest and felt his heart racing. “I’ve never felt like this before.” It was a fact—a confession.
“Neither have I,” I told him because it was the truth. We’d both been skirting around our feelings because it hadn’t been the right time. But now…now it was our time. Our time to be with each other. Our time to show each other how we felt. Which was why I lifted up onto my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his. I knew we couldn’t go too far, not with his family downstairs, but his tongue swiping over my lips demanded more from me, and I was willing to give it to him. I’d give him every piece of me knowing he’d handle me with care.
“Asher,” I groaned, letting my head drop back and relishing in his lips as they fluttered over the soft skin on my neck.
“Yeah, sweetheart?” he murmured in my ear, and I shivered from his warm breath.
“I need…” I wasn’t sure what I needed, but his fingers flipping open the button on my jeans and undoing my zip was enough for me to realize exactly what it was I wanted. I wanted him. All of him. But most importantly, he wanted me too.
His hand slipped down the front of my jeans and my eyes fluttered closed as his finger connected with my clit. The bundle of nerves pulsed with each of his flicks, and I knew I wouldn’t last—couldn’t last—not when he was touching me. Not when he was playing my body like a seasoned musician.
Footsteps echoed up the stairs, and my pulse raced at the sound. Logically I knew it wasn’t anyone who had come to hurt me, but that didn’t mean I could control my body’s reaction. My anxiety was at an all-time high, and I had no idea how to make it go away.
I moved my hand to my chest, trying to calm my beating heart, and winced from the move. My body ached in places I had no idea it could, and the bruising marring my skin was dark and deadly looking. But I couldn’t think about that right then. I couldn’t remember the way it disrupted my pale tone and drew a map of the violence.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he ground out, his voice low and gruff, and it was all I needed to let myself go. To let myself feel every ounce of the pleasure he’d given me. I clutched on to his shoulders as he slipped his hand free and wrapped his arms around me, and then my back was hitting the mattress and my jeans were being shucked off me and thrown across the room.
I chuckled as he struggled to get one of my tennis shoes off. “Fuck it, they can stay on.” I glanced down at him and my bare legs complete with shoes on my feet, and even though the sight was comical, I didn’t laugh because he was yanking down his jeans and moving on top of me. “I can’t get e-fuckin'-nough of you.”
“Good.” I gripped on to his shoulders and sighed as the head of his cock met my entrance. “Show me how much you want me,” I whispered, and his eyes darkened a second before he plunged inside me, pushing all the way to the hilt, and showing me exactly what he felt.
Knocking rang out and I gasped. It had only happened once since I curled up in Asher’s bed, and it had been Lola trying to get me to eat something. But I hadn’t been able to stomach it. I hadn’t been able to face her after what she’d witnessed in the hospital room. She’d seen me at my worst, and now I was afraid what she would think—how she would treat me.
“Elodie?” a soft voice asked from the other side of the door, and my muscles locked. That wasn’t Lola, it was— “It’s Belle.” I stayed perfectly still, too scared if I made only the smallest of noises that she’d know I was awake and come inside.
The door handle creaked, and I snapped my eyes closed. Lola hadn’t walked inside, not without me answering her. But Belle’s footsteps got closer and closer until I could feel her looming over me. I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could and counted in my head. Each number felt louder and faster than the last, and I made it all the way to twenty-two until she said, “I know you’re not asleep.” She paused, waiting for me to answer her, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t face it. Not right then.
“You need to eat, Elodie.” A couple of soft bangs rang out and then the sound of metal cutlery pinged. “I brought you over some soup and fresh bread—okay, so I didn’t actually bake the bread because we all know I can’t bake. But I went to the store and bought it fresh, so I’m calling it a win.” She chuckled and the bed dipped beside me. What the hell was she doing? “I know you feel like you’re alone.” She let out a sigh. “I remember a time I felt like that too.”
I slowly opened my eyes but didn’t turn to face her. I was listening, and I had a feeling she knew it.
“You’ve probably seen my scar. It’s not exactly hard to miss.” Her body moved, and I wondered if she was touching her neck. I’d seen her touching it and wasn’t even sure she was aware she was doing it. “I was twenty-one when I fell in love for the first time.” She chuckled. “Real love. The kind of love that consumes you entirely and refuses to let go.”
I knew that feeling. Knew the way something—someone—consumed every inch of you. I hadn’t known what it was, not at first. But I was sure of it now, surer than anything else in the entire world. It may have felt fast, but I couldn’t deny how deep it was.
“Only I would fall in love with the man sent to protect me. Oh, and of course, my mom and dad’s best friend.” Her hand moved to my shoulder, and I winced from her touch. “Shit. Sorry.” She cleared her throat. “What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been through pain too, and I came out on the other side.” I could never have predicted what she said next. “I killed a man.”
My eyes widened and I couldn’t help but blurt out, “You killed someone?”
“Aha! I knew you were awake.” She laughed but it soon turned to a sad sigh. “I was pregnant with Leo, and let’s just say a whole load of drama was taking place, and in the midst of it was someone who killed the people closest to me.” She paused, and I shivered from the silence.
“Then he came for me. It was kill or be killed, and I chose me and Leo. I chose us. And I didn’t regret it, not even when the man’s dad got ahold of me and slit my throat.” The bed moved again, and her weight drifted, so I knew she’d stood up. “Pain is part of the process of life, Elodie. We all have it, but it’s important to deal with it and not push it aside. Feel everything you’re feeling and don’t be sorry for it, not even for a second.” Her footsteps echoed as she moved back. “I’m here if you need me. I’m only a call away.”
I nodded, hoping she could see me, and as soon as the door closed, I shut my eyes, and drifted off to a dreamland where nothing hurt and all that surrounded me were smiles. It wouldn’t last long before the memories and nightmare would ensue, but even a short while of happiness was better than none.
ASHER
My chains clinked as I shuffled down the hallway behind the row of other inmates from county jail. Each of us had cuffs around our ankles and wrists and were all attached to each other so no one could escape. People walked past us, their gazes anywhere but on us, and it was the first time I felt ashamed to be where I was. But as soon as the feeling took me over, I pushed it aside. In their eyes I may have been a criminal, but in mine I was not. I’d protected someone I cared about, and there was no shame in that. None at all.
“In here,” one of the guards said as he unlocked the gate to an open square cell. We all filed in, and finally our attached chains were undone, but not our cuffs. Our cuffs stayed firmly in place, tight and unyielding. Several of the inmates scattered to find a seat in the cell on the two benches, but it left at least six of us with nowhere to sit.
“Hey! When do we get food!” one of the inmates shouted as the guard locked the gate, and my stomach rumbled in response. I hadn’t eaten since last night. It was Tuesd
ay morning at the crack of dawn, and my body was rebelling against the awful goddamn food and lack of sunlight.
“When it comes,” the guard replied, no help whatsoever. He sneered and sauntered away, and I curled my lip in response.
“Dick,” the inmate spat, then moved to a corner and closed his eyes. There was no way I was letting myself become vulnerable in that way, so I stayed near the gate, waiting for my name to be called. A clock on the wall read 6:02 a.m. and I huffed out a breath. Court didn’t start until nine, so why the hell were we here so damn early? They’d ushered us onto a bus outside the county jail before it had even gotten light, and it had only taken minutes to arrive at the courthouse.
More inmates were brought in and packed into the cell like sardines, mixing our orange jumpsuits with their blue ones, and I felt uneasy about the entire situation. I hadn’t been able to talk to my dad last night because I’d run out of money on my number, and I didn’t want to do a collect call. All I could hope for was that I wasn’t going back to that fuckin’ place today.
“Easton, you’re up,” a guard barked out and opened the gate. Men shifted to the side to let me pass, and then the guard checked my chains were all in order. “You’re good,” he commented, led me out of the cell, and locked it up behind me. I had no idea where I was going, and I hadn’t even seen a lawyer yet. I wasn’t sure how the system worked, but Dad had told me this was just a bail hearing, so I wouldn’t need one. I just hoped he was right, and I wasn’t about to get fucked over.
Several gates were unlocked so we could go through them, then the walls changed. Gone was the dreary beige and in its place crisp white. The air smelled clearer and less…dirty. Finally, I was led through a wooden door and into the courtroom.
A judge sat at the bench, reading out another case, and I glanced around the room, hoping I recognized someone, but I didn’t, not until the very last seat on the farthest back bench. Dad’s gaze met mine and he gave nothing away in his dark eyes. Was he disappointed in me for being in the exact position he’d put people in his entire life? I didn’t regret what I’d done, but it didn’t mean I was proud to be wearing a jumpsuit and chains.
“Asher Easton,” a voice called.
The guard pushed me toward the lone table in front of the judge. People were milling about as officers shuffled inmates in and out of the room. It felt like constant rhythm of judgments being made, and I was just one in a very long line. I was a number to these people, not a person. I just hoped they didn’t judge me on the single act I'd committed, instead of everything I’d done in my life.
But wasn’t that what the man sitting higher than the rest was here for? He was here to make a snap decision on who I was and where I’d be going.
“Mr. Easton,” the judge started. “I have reviewed your case.” I pushed my shoulders back, trying not to let my nerves get the better of me. I had no idea what way this would go and having been held in county jail for three days, I was more than ready to get out of there. “I have a letter of recommendation here.” He held up a piece of paper and raised his brows. “And I am also aware you are a veteran.”
“I am, sir.”
He interlocked his fingers on the bench and leaned forward. “This is your first offense, and as such, I will be ordering your release on recognizance.” He paused, letting it sink in. “You agree to attend all court appearances and not engage in any illegal activity. Failure to adhere to these commands will cause your bail to be revoked and you will have to pay the bail amount of three thousand dollars. Your court date is set for six months from now. Stay out of trouble.”
I turned my head to look at my dad, but his gaze was fixated on the judge, listening intently. This meant I was getting out. I could go home. I could shower without a group of men on the other side of a flimsy curtain. I could see Elodie. My stomach dropped. I had no idea what state she was in, and I was afraid how I would find her. Would she be curled up in a ball, refusing to move? Or would she be pretending none of this happened as she tried to push through it all?
The judge banged his gavel down and I jumped at the sound. But no sooner was another name being called and the guard pulled me away. He led me back the way we came, but I didn’t take my attention off my dad. He turned his head to face me, and the quirk of his lips along with his slight nod told me he had my back. I’d never doubted it for a second, but what I had doubted was if I would get out of here or not. I had six months until I had to go back to court, but in that time, I could see my lawyer, and most importantly, see Elodie. We could deal with this together, if she let us. She was fiercely independent, and I was scared she’d try to be now too. She needed me, but I needed her too. There was no denying that.
The guard led me to a different cell with only a handful of people inside it. I had no idea how much longer I’d be kept here, but now that I knew I was going home, I was antsy, and wanted the time to go by as fast as possible but all it was doing was dragging at a snail’s pace. Then finally—fuckin’ finally—a guard opened up the cell and led us all out. I wasn’t sure where Dad was, and I wasn’t sure how much longer it would be until I was on my way home, but each moment which passed felt longer than the one before it.
I was done with having this orange jumpsuit on. Not only that, but I was goddamn starving. They put us back onto the bus we’d come here on, and once we were back in county jail, we were shoved back into the holding cells.
Several of the other guys spoke and each had a different ruling, but we were all getting out of here today. I bounced my knee up and down, needing it to happen quickly. But it didn’t. Each hour dragged into the next. I’d paced the length of the small cell and not moved my gaze from the area where they were booking people in and letting them out. Every person who was in the cell with me had been called, and now it was nearly 5 p.m. and—
A woman halted in front of the door, pushed the key inside the lock, then turned it to open it. “Asher Easton.” She huffed out a breath as if she was tired of waiting for me, yet it had only been a few seconds. “Come on, let’s go. Chop, chop.”
I wanted to quip something back at her, or even take my time walking out of the cell, but the reality was, I needed out of here as fast as I could. I needed to get to Elodie. I needed to check on her. I needed to be by her side every step of the way.
The woman shuffled over to one of the stations, and I went through the same routine as I’d watched the people before me go through. My name and number were read off, my county jail uniform was handed in, and I was passed the clothes I’d come in with. Spatters of blood were soaked into the fabric, and I wanted nothing more than to wear something different. But I didn’t have a choice, not right then anyway. Finally, I was given a slip to take to a counter on the other side of the main doors to collect the rest of my things. Each step I took was one closer to getting out of here, and when I eventually made it out into the waiting room, darkness funneled in through the floor-to-ceiling windows.
I pulled in a breath, the first free breath in nearly four days, and as soon as it entered my lungs, I wanted to bawl like a goddamn baby. Having your freedom taken away from you was no joke, but I’d have done what I did a thousand times over if it meant protecting Elodie.
“Asher.” I whipped my head around at the sound of the deep voice, and my gaze immediately found the dark eyes of my dad. He was sitting toward the back, his attention solely on me. “Took long enough.”
“Tell me about it.” I moved toward him, not really sure what reception I was going to receive. We’d spoken over the phone, but it was all business and making sure Elodie was okay. I had no idea how he was going to react now that we were face-to-face, and more or less alone. “Dad, I—”
He shook his head, holding his palm in the air to stop me. “You don’t need to explain it, son.” He stood, his lips in a straight line, not giving anything away until he murmured, “I would have—and have done—the same thing.” He ambled toward me, each of his steps slow and measured. “Let’s get you out of here an
d home.”
“Home,” I stuttered. I wasn’t sure what I was going to find once I got there, and I knew I needed to prepare myself.
“Yeah, son.” Dad halted in front of me. “And you need a shower STAT.”
I chuckled, because he was right. There was a certain stench jail left on you, and I needed to get it off of me asap. “Elodie—”
“Is at home with your mom.” Dad tried to smile, his lips attempted to lift, but I could see the pain in his features and behind his dark-brown eyes.
“Right.” I pushed my shoulders back, determined not to let how I was feeling show. “Can we stop at my place first? I need to get some clothes and—”
“Sure.” Dad’s hand grasped my shoulder, and he squeezed it in that same way he always did when he was trying to say something he couldn’t quite verbalize. “Let’s get out of here.”
I nodded and followed him as he walked out. I wasn’t sure the smell of the place would ever quite leave my nose, but I was hoping the reason I was here would eventually wane into the background. But reality was that these last few days would be something that haunted me—haunted us. However, it was through the bad times we found who we really were, what our souls were built to endure, and what our hearts could take before breaking.
Chapter Twenty
ELODIE
I hadn’t slept much. Every time I closed my eyes, I heard the echo of his voice. The scent of his cologne. The harshness of his hands. I couldn’t escape the feel of his skin against mine. The way it rubbed against me, the way it burned when he was inside me.
He consumed all of my senses, so instead of letting him win, I stayed awake. I focused my gaze on the wall, on the gap in the curtains, on the wooden bed. I imagined I was on a fairground and could smell the hot dogs cooking. I imagined I was at school in the hallways and all that filled my ears were the sounds of students as they made their way from class to class. The bang of the lockers, the laughter, the teachers shouting not to run.
Burned Duet: Asher & Elodie: Fast Burn & Deep Burn (Easton Family Duet Boxsets Book 4) Page 26