I took a step toward the back door, knowing my car had been moved there. I’d left it parked on an angle in front of the shop that night, but my dad had come and moved it around back while I was in jail. In jail. I couldn’t believe I was having that thought. My entire life I’d tried to always do the right thing. I’d trained in MMA. I’d fought each of my fights fairly. I’d been to war for my country. I’d never questioned an order. I’d watched the people I cared about die. Yet, it was that singular thought that had me stumbling out the back door and toward my car.
This was never in my plan. I was meant to make a name for myself as a tattoo artist. I was meant to find a nice girl and live happily ever after. That was what the fairy tales spoke of, right? But I somehow always knew my life wouldn’t be plain sailing. I was pushing everything down and dealing with what was in front of me right at that moment. It didn’t matter that the slamming of the car door had me jumping. It didn’t matter that the roar of my engine caused my hands to shake.
Getting into a vehicle was something everyone did without a second thought. But I had to prepare myself each and every time. I had to put on a front and act like I was okay—that I hadn’t been inside a Humvee that drove over an IED. That I hadn’t been flung out of the metal box which was meant to keep us safe.
All I was focused on was making sure Elodie was okay, but in the process, I was realizing I still wasn’t okay. Most nights I was haunted by memories. Every day I was on alert and hyperaware of my surroundings. Which was why I blamed myself for what happened to Elodie. I should have known someone was lurking around. I should have known Knox wouldn’t let it lie. I should have known he was going to make a move. But instead, I’d been concentrating on helping Jax out with Al. I was trying to support other people, and in the process, the one person who I cared about most was hurt.
I gripped the steering wheel tighter and reversed out of the space, then drove around the front and on to the road. The drive back to my house whizzed by, and I worked on automatic as I went inside to pack up some things. I was in a haze, stuck inside my own memories, but now they were mixing in with memories of Elodie.
Inhaling a deep breath, I tried to center myself as I pulled in to the road Mom and Dad’s house was on. I’d only been gone just over an hour, but it already felt like a lifetime. I was on edge to get back to Elodie and felt like I had a clock ticking away, trying to hurry me to get us away from here.
I parked in the driveway and left our bags in the car as I exited. All I needed was to get Elodie in the car and then we could leave. We could be on the road and at the lake house by mid-afternoon.
The house was silent as I entered it, and a quick look in the living room and kitchen told me both Mom and Elodie were upstairs. I took the stairs two at a time and called, “Mom? Where are you?” I heard murmurings coming from the bathroom, so moved toward it. “Elodie? You in there?” I lifted my hand and knocked on the door, frowning at the silence. “Mom?”
“We’re in here, Asher,” Mom replied.
I grasped the door handle and started to turn it. “I’m coming in.”
“No!” I halted at Elodie’s voice, my stomach churning even more than it already had been.
“He’s not going to hurt you,” I heard Mom say, and I felt the blood drain from my face. Was she scared of me? Had I done something to—
“I’m going to open the door, Elodie,” Mom continued.
Silence rang through the air, and then the door opened, and I stumbled forward. I wasn’t sure what to look at or what to say, so I kept my mouth shut and my attention on my mom’s face. I hadn’t seen her look so sad since Belle had gotten hurt all those years ago.
“Mom,” I whispered, scared to talk too loudly. “I…what…”
“She needs you.” Mom placed her hand on my chest and over my racing heart. “She doesn’t know it yet, but she needs you more than she knows.” She pulled in a breath and handed me a towel, her gaze lighting with fire. “Go to her.”
I hesitated as Mom stepped back, but as soon as my gaze landed on Elodie’s face, I knew what I had to do. “Elodie?”
She shook her head and pulled her knees up to her chest. Her wet hair flattened against the side of her head and her chattering teeth caused her words to be muffled. “No, please don’t.”
“It’s me, sweetheart.” I took a couple of steps forward. “Look at me, Elodie.” She shook her head, refusing, but I wasn’t going to let her. It was too easy to hide away. Too simple to pretend nothing bad was happening. “Look at me,” I repeated, and that time, she lifted her head. “That’s it.” I leaned over and turned the water off. “It’s only me.”
Her gaze drifted over my face and down my body, then landed on the towel in my hand. “I can’t,” she sobbed out. “I can’t do it, Asher.”
“You can.” I leaned into the shower and held my hand out to her for a second time that day. “You’re one of the strongest people I know.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.” I glanced at my hand, then back to her. “You know what to do, sweetheart.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, and I could see the hesitation on her face. She was at war in her own mind, but only she chose who won. She needed time and space to work through it all, but she needed to understand that I was going to be right there with her every step of the way.
“I…” She blinked several times, almost as if she was trying to clear things from her mind. “I don’t want you to see.”
I frowned. “See what?”
“What he did.” She hiccupped a sob and a lone tear trailed down her face. “I hate it. I hate him. I…I hate me.”
I stepped into the shower and crouched down in front of her, making sure she heard each word as I said, “All I see is Elodie.” I lifted the corner of my lips into a small smile. “I see the girl who fights every day of her life. The girl who lived in a trailer. The girl who got out onto the stage most nights so she could get to where she wanted to be.” I inhaled a breath. “I see the girl who I fell for from the moment I set eyes on her.”
“Asher—”
“I see you, sweetheart. I see the other half of me.” Her hand connected with mine, and I wrapped my fingers around it. “I see the person who changes how I see the world.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
ELODIE
His eyes swirled with intensity as he helped me up. So much was said in the silence, things that couldn’t be verbalized out loud, not yet anyway. Logically, I knew things couldn’t be fixed overnight, but that didn’t mean I didn’t wish it. I’d broken down again. I’d let the memory of the trauma take over. I’d let it have control, and I hated every second of it.
Asher didn’t look away as he wrapped the towel around my body, covering the marks on my skin. I flinched, which caused him to wince. He could see the pain in my eyes—he could sense it in me, just like I could in him. We hadn’t talked properly, not since everything happened, but the realization that I was going to be alone with him for a length of time calmed me somewhat. Maybe this was meant to happen? Maybe the bad had to occur for me to feel the good? Or maybe I was just unlucky. But as I felt Asher’s hand gripping mine to help me out of the shower, I knew it wasn’t the case. With him in my life, I wasn’t sure I could call it anything but luck.
“I got your things in the car,” he murmured as he led me past Lola, who was waiting near the bathroom door, and back into his bedroom. I wanted to open my mouth and say something—anything—but it was too much. He’d been back to my apartment. He’d faced the place that was now the epicenter of all of my nightmares. Did he relive it? Were there signs still left of what happened? All the thoughts ran through my head as fast as a cheetah running through the African plains. My breaths started to come quicker, the panic returning. I had to get control over myself. I couldn’t let it pull me under any more than it already had.
Asher halted in the middle of the room, looked at something over my shoulder, then back to my face. “I’ll go get you some
clothes—”
“No.” I gripped on to his hand tighter, hating that I didn’t want to let go. “Don’t leave me,” I whispered, feeling my bottom lip start to wobble. I couldn’t cry, not again, because once it started, it never seemed to stop.
“Okay.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “I’ll erm…I—”
“Get one of your old T-shirts,” Lola said from behind me, but I didn’t turn to face her. I had to keep my attention focused solely on Asher. He was my rock—the one person I knew I could rely on. “I’ll grab a pair of leggings from my closet.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Her footsteps moved away from Asher’s bedroom, and my heart sped up. My emotions were all over the place, but more than that, I was tired. So tired I felt like I could sleep for a week. I wasn’t sure how to act—how to be—but I knew I couldn’t let go of Asher’s hand, not yet. I felt like if he let go, I’d drift away and not be able to find my way back.
“Here,” Lola announced, and Asher held his arm out, coming back with a pair of leggings. “I’ll wait downstairs for you.”
I closed my eyes as she moved away from us and closed the door behind her. She’d shut us in here, and now I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay in this safe space forever, but I couldn’t. I had to leave at some point, I just wished it didn’t have to happen yet. I opened my mouth, wanting to ask Asher if we could just stay here a little longer, but then closed it again. Weakness threatened to take over, but I couldn’t let it, not if I wanted to survive.
“I, erm…” Asher cleared his throat. “Want me to help you get dressed?” I nodded, too afraid to admit it aloud. “Sit down, and I’ll grab one of my T-shirts.” I opened my eyes as his hand drifted away from mine, but I didn’t take my gaze off him or move a single inch as he moved toward a closet in his room and pulled out a dark-blue T-shirt. It looked like an old high school jersey. “Lift your arms,” he commanded as he moved back toward me, and I did as he said, keeping the towel around my chest and covering the majority of my body.
He slipped the T-shirt over my head, and I pushed my arms through the openings. He pulled it down as far as it would go, and it came to just above my knees. He knelt down in front of me, holding the leggings out, ready for me to step into, so I adhered to his silent command and pushed my feet into them. He pulled them up, halting when he got to my thighs, then I took over. Finally, I removed the towel from under my clothing and stood there, wondering what we would do next.
“Ready?” he asked, and I wasn’t sure. Was I ready? I hadn’t been outside in days, and just the thought of going out there had my stomach churning and my—
“You’ll be okay, I promise.” His thumb and finger gripped my chin as he tilted my head back to face him. “I’m right beside you. Nothing will happen.”
I pulled in a deep breath, feeling the burn at the back of my throat. Asher was here, by my side, and he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. But what about when he wasn’t by my side? What happened when we were at the lake house? Where was the lake house? I had all of these questions, but I couldn’t voice them. I couldn’t bring myself to ask. Deep down, I knew I didn’t have to worry about what was going to transpire from here. Asher was taking me away—taking us away—to heal. To work through everything. To become stronger again. And I just had to trust what he was doing.
I blinked.
I did trust him. I trusted him more than I’d ever trusted anyone.
“I’m ready,” I croaked out, not waiting for him as I placed my hand back into his. I pushed my shoulders back, trying to shove my worries to the side. I had to do this. I had to overcome the fear consuming me.
We made it to the bottom of the stairs, the front door was right there, only a couple of feet away. But my body was frozen—I was frozen.
The door flung open, and I squealed, jumping behind Asher, knowing he would shield me from whoever it—
“Oh, sorry.” Lola laughed and placed her hand over her chest. “I was just putting some food essentials in your car.”
I peeked around Asher, seeing the outdoors behind her. The wind whipped into the house, causing some of my hair to drift over my face. It was still damp, but I didn’t care how it would dry.
“I made you a packed lunch for the ride there.” Lola’s gaze veered to mine, and she smiled. “Think Band-Aid. Rip it off.” She pushed her own shoulders back and stepped to the side. “Don’t think about it. Don’t think about anything but the next step you take. One after the other until you’re in Asher’s car.” She nodded, encouraging me. “That’s all you need to do. Walk to the car, and that’s it.”
Asher looked down at me, his brow raised in silent question. And I knew then Lola was right. If I stood there thinking about it, I’d never do it. I just needed to take a step, and then another one. I squeezed Asher’s hand as we moved to the driveway, and my gaze flicked over the houses on the street and each car that drove past. I was so worried about what was around me that I didn’t even realize I’d made it to the car until Asher opened the door.
I let out a breath I’d been holding and dove into the car. He closed the door after me, rushed around to the driver’s seat, and within seconds we were reversing down the driveway. Lola held her hand in the air, waving at us, and I tried to wave back, but I knew it looked half-assed. My body was shutting down, my eyes heavy, but I needed to stay alert. At least until we were out of the area and far enough away.
“It’ll only take a couple of hours to get there,” Asher said, leaning back in his seat as he halted at a red light. He turned his head to face me and laid his hand on the center console. “And once we’re there, we don’t have to worry about anything or anyone.” His lips curved into a smile, and no matter how much I wanted to mirror him, I couldn’t get my lips to move.
“Okay,” I breathed out. “I…” I bit down on my bottom lip, stopping myself from asking anything. Maybe I was doing the wrong thing? Maybe I should have stayed in town where the police could get ahold of me. They’d said they’d keep in touch after I’d given them my statement, but I hadn’t heard from them since, and—
“My cell! I left my cell at—”
“I picked it up.” Asher plucked my cell out of one of the cup holders, then handed it to me. “It’s dead, but I have a charger here.” He pointed to a cord and then turned back to face the road as the light turned green.
I moved my arm forward, hating how much my hands were shaking. I was trying to ignore the windows surrounding us and the fact we were about to drive past my high school. It was Wednesday morning, so everyone would be in class, but it didn’t matter to my nerves. If I saw Knox hanging around—
I frowned, trying to remember what the police had last told me. Knox had been taken to the hospital and wasn’t conscious. Was he still in the hospital? Was he—
“I can hear your mind spinning over there.”
“What?” I blinked several times and plugged the cord into the bottom of my cell.
“You’re thinkin’ about something.” Asher glanced at me, then back at the road as we whizzed right by my school. “You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”
“I…” The breath caught in my throat, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t care if Knox ever woke up again, but I knew that wouldn’t be good for Asher. I wasn’t even sure what was happening with his case. Had they charged him? Would what happened to me help his case? Or would it not matter? “What happens now?” I clasped my hands on my lap, staring down at them. “With my case? With…your case?”
There was a beat of silence, and then he said, “I’m not sure, sweetheart.”
I heard him shuffling in his seat, and I glanced up. The city-type roads had turned into country roads, trees surrounding us on both sides, and just being on a road I’d never been on before relaxed me a little. I was finding my strength again. At least, that was how it felt.
“Dad said they’d arrest Knox once he was awake and interview him. He reckons they’ll charge him because of the
amount of evidence, and then it’ll go from there.”
“Will he go to jail?” I asked, my voice small. Maybe if he was in jail, it would be easier to come to terms with what happened. Maybe I wouldn’t have to stay away as long. Maybe I could go home and—
“I doubt it,” Asher ground out, his entire tone changing. “You know his dad is a judge, right?”
My stomach bottomed out. I did know that. I also knew there was no way he’d let his son spend a night in jail, which meant he’d be free, at least for a while. How could that happen in this day and age? How could a person who had been so violent be allowed back out on to the streets as if he’d never done anything? But when you had connections, you didn’t have to pay like everyone else did.
“So, he’ll be out, then? Back at school?”
“Not for a while.” I moved my attention to Asher’s face, seeing the smirk pull at his lips. “I made sure of that.”
Violence wasn’t the answer. It was never the answer. But I couldn’t help feeling grateful for what Asher had done. “So, what about you?” I swallowed at the lump forming in my throat. The thought of Asher not being here was unthinkable. “What happens to you?”
“I’ve got court in six months.” He moved his arm across the center console and gripped both of my hands in his. “You don’t need to worry about that, though. I have a secure call with my lawyer next week. Until then”—he turned to face me, his brown eyes glowing—“let’s forget about the future. Let’s just enjoy the lake house and each other.”
“Okay,” I whispered. “I can pretend—”
“No.” He gripped my hands harder, drumming his point home. “Not pretend. We’re not going to act like nothing happened to you. I know what it’s like to push things so far back. It pops up when you least expect it. It haunts you.” He shook his head as he slowed down to take a long corner on the country road. “We’re going to deal with it one day at a time. We’re going to get stronger.”
Burned Duet: Asher & Elodie: Fast Burn & Deep Burn (Easton Family Duet Boxsets Book 4) Page 29