His jaw locked at my words, but he didn’t look away. His gaze probed at me, trying to see if I believed what I was saying. And I did. For the first time, I really believed what Knox had done over the years wasn’t my fault. I didn’t make him do anything. I didn’t provoke him. I didn’t deserve the punishment he was dealing out.
“If I’d have gotten there earlier,” Asher whispered, and I felt his arms wrap around my waist. He hadn’t held me like this since before that night, and I hadn’t wanted him to. But right then, at that moment, I knew it was the first step. Not just for me, but for him too.
“You wouldn’t have been able to save them,” I repeated.
“Not them.” He placed his forehead to mine, and my palms drifted down his neck to his shoulders. “You.” He paused, and my stomach dipped. “I shouldn’t have left you that night, sweetheart. I should have stayed. I should have known he was going to—”
“No.” I shook my head. “You’re not going to shoulder any blame.” I closed my eyes, feeling like I was as light as a feather. “And neither am I.” I believed what I said. I meant every word. And it freed me. Freed me from the constraints I’d felt bound to for years. Freed me from the fear threatening to take over.
“Fuck, Elodie,” Asher whispered. “You’re so brave.”
I opened my eyes and didn’t move my gaze off him. His dark-brown eyes were intense, but I knew mine matched his. We’d both bared ourselves in ways we never had before. “I’m only brave because of you. You made me believe anything is possible.”
“I love you,” he croaked out. “I love you so damn much.”
I should have been scared by his words. Should have felt like it was wrong to hear them at that moment, but I didn’t. He was being honest, just like I had been, and I had every intention of continuing my honesty. “I love you too.”
I didn’t hesitate as I lifted up onto my tiptoes and placed my lips against his. For several seconds, we stood there, our mouths molded together, our feelings out in the open with the truth surrounding us. I felt safe, but more importantly, loved. I was determined to have something good come out of all the bad that had happened. And Asher…
Asher was my something good.
ASHER
I leaned back in my seat as I watched Elodie walking along the edge of the lake. The mask she usually wore on her face was lifted as were her lips. She was smiling, but it wasn’t the fake kind she’d done since we got here almost a week ago. It was the real kind. The kind that had my stomach rolling and my hands itching to touch her. But I couldn’t, not yet.
We’d kissed on the boat this morning. I’d revealed part of myself I never thought I would, and even though the memories were at the forefront of my mind, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was her: the woman who had changed everything. She’d come from nowhere, appeared in my life like a bat out of hell, and I was grateful. She understood me in ways no one else ever would, and as I stared at her, I knew I couldn’t live without her. She was it for me. She was the one person who called to my soul like nothing else ever had.
My feelings were deep, and I’d told her part of them. I hadn’t meant to say those three words to her, but at that moment on the boat, I hadn’t been able to help myself. And more than that, she’d said them back. The way her eyes had swirled told me she meant them, and some invisible force had locked us together, proving that we were made for each other. Two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together.
I was basking in what had happened on the boat, the way she confronted everything, and blurted out what she felt. She hadn’t been frightened of how I would react. She’d pushed through, showing her strength once again. I idolized her. I was obsessed with her. Captivated by each of her movements. I wanted nothing more than to join her on her walk and show her how to bounce stones off the surface of the lake instead of just throwing them in like she was doing right then, but I couldn’t because I was waiting for a call—a call which could change everything.
I flicked my gaze back down to the screen of my cell, waiting for the name to flash up, but it was already six minutes after the scheduled call, and I had a pit in the bottom of my stomach. Did this mean it was going to be bad news? Or maybe my lawyer was running late.
Each of my breaths became harsher the longer I waited, and I was on edge in a way I’d never been before. Elodie and I were here to try and get some distance from the shit happening back home, and this had been the first time since we’d gotten to the lake house that I really understood things would never be the same.
Elodie wouldn’t be able to move back into the apartment. I wouldn’t be able to waltz back into my shop and pretend the awful things that happened upstairs hadn’t transpired. Elodie wouldn’t be able to walk the school hallways without the weight of everything on her shoulders. Her work would never be the same. And her dancing…she hadn’t danced for nearly two weeks, and I wondered if she missed it.
As if she heard me thinking about her, she turned around, her gaze meeting mine from that far away. She’d made it to the edge of the lake near the tree I always practiced my MMA at when I was a teen, and I was up on the deck, ready to go into the house as soon as my cell rang.
She lifted her hand in a wave, and I stood, wanting to go down to her. Since our talk on the boat, something had changed between us. Things weren’t as harsh. They were softer, easier. All I wanted was to spend as much time as possible with her, but now the dark cloud of my call was hanging over my head and—
My cell vibrated, and I stared down at it, seeing my lawyer’s name and the area code along with his number. I held it in the air to show Elodie and pointed at the house, then walked into the kitchen. I hit the answer call button, greeting, “Hello.”
“Asher Easton?” a woman’s voice asked.
“That’s me.”
“I have Mr. Bennet on the line for you, please hold.”
I drifted over to the sink so I could look out of the window and spotted Elodie, making her way back onto the dock. She’d found her favorite place since we’d been here, and I knew that was where she would sit for hours, staring at the water, captured inside her own head. Sometimes I sat next to her, and other times I watched from the deck, knowing she needed time to process everything.
“Asher?” Mr. Bennet asked over the line.
“Hi.” I cleared my throat. “That’s me.”
“Ah, good. Sorry it’s a little later than we planned. I got held up in court today.”
“No worries.” My voice was stiff, as were my muscles.
“Let me see…yes. So, the victim woke up yesterday morning and gave his statement. The DA wants to press charges.” He cleared his throat. “They have witness statements from the officers who were called to the scene.” His tone was one that told me he thought I didn’t have a chance in hell of going anywhere but jail. “I’m in contact with the DA because the first charges they presented was attempted murder—”
“What?” I frowned, my blood boiling. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?”
“Afraid not, Asher. The list of injuries they’re presenting—”
“He was raping my girlfriend. He was fuckin’ raping her, and they want to charge me with attempted murder?”
“I know it’s a big charge—wait, what did you say?”
“What?”
“He was raping your girlfriend?”
I stared at Elodie on the dock, her head leaning back, and the wind whipping through her hair. “Yeah. That’s why I beat the fucker. I should have done it the first time he laid hands on her, but I let it go—”
“Wait. Go slower, I’m trying to write all of this down.” I frowned as I heard him mumbling. “I wasn’t aware of the circumstances.” He paused, and I heard papers shuffling. “Did your girlfriend report the assault?”
“Yes.” I gritted my teeth together, hating that I was having to tell him something that happened to Elodie. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have taken whatever the DA wanted to charge me with and be done with it. I
f this went to trial, she’d have to go through the entire thing again, remember every tiny detail, and then there was her own case. I wouldn’t do that to her. I wouldn’t be the reason she was put through so much pain. “I don’t want you to use that,” I ground out, and my feet carried me back to the door. “You’re not to bring her into anything, understood?”
“Asher, this changes everything. If she would make a statement as to what happened and—”
“No.” I stepped out onto the deck. “Find another way that doesn’t bring her into it.”
“But—” I didn’t wait for him to finish as I ended the call. I wasn’t going to put Elodie through anything else. She’d been through enough heartache, and I was determined to protect her from anything coming her way, even if that meant I was charged with attempted murder. Fuck. I could spend the rest of my life in prison if that happened, and the prospect of not being a free man gutted me, but it was nothing compared to the thought of not being able to be with Elodie. I wouldn’t be able to hold her, touch her, sleep next to her. It could all be taken away in the blink of any eye, but for her, I’d do it. I’d do anything if it meant she was okay.
My feet carried me down the wooden walkway my dad had built as a kid, over the rocky area where the lake came partly on, and onto the pier. Elodie didn’t look up as I got closer, but I didn’t miss the smile working its way on her face. I didn’t say a word as I lowered down next to her and put my feet into the cool lake water. We sat there for several minutes in silence, neither of us needing to fill the void with useless chatter.
The lake house had always been my favorite place to be. We’d spent most of our family vacations here, and sometimes a random weekend too. It was my family’s second home, and the first place any of us wanted to come to when we needed a break. I’d spent months here when I’d left the Marines. My days would be out on the water, and my nights would be spent sitting on the deck watching the sunset, amazed by the colors in the sky it would leave behind before darkness took over.
“How was the call?” Elodie’s soft voice asked.
I shrugged in response, not wanting to talk about it. “Good.”
“Right.” She cleared her throat, and I felt her shuffle an inch away. I desperately wanted to reach out to her and pull her closer, to put my arm around her and just…be. But I was in my own head, thinking about what would happen from here. I needed to talk to my dad, but I didn’t know when I’d be able to without alerting Elodie to it. I didn’t want her to worry about me, all I wanted her to concentrate on was her. On getting better. Becoming stronger. Healing, both on the inside and outside.
“You know,” I started, trying to change the subject. “We’ve never been on a proper date.”
“Huh?”
I glanced over at her, laughing at the confusion on her face. “I’ve never taken you out on a proper date.”
“Oh.” Elodie chuckled, but I could sense it was uneasy. “I’ve never really been the dating type.” She bit down on her bottom lip, her navy-blue eyes looking lighter in the afternoon sun. “I’d much rather stay in and watch a movie or something.”
“We have popcorn,” I told her, swishing my feet in the lake water. “What kind of movie do you want to watch?”
She stared at me, her attention not wavering even for a second. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want to watch a movie?” Her eyes narrowed on me. “It’s as if you’re trying to distract me.” She tilted her head to the side, not letting up for even a second. “You know I can see something is bothering you, right?” I didn’t answer her. I refused to acknowledge it. I may have bared part of myself to her on the boat earlier, but this was different. This was about protecting her. About making sure she was safe, whether that meant I was a free man or not.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Her chest moved as she took a deep breath. “You don’t want to talk about it at all?” She raised her brow. “Or you don’t want to talk about it with me?” I stared at her, not sure what the right thing to say was. If I told her I didn’t want to talk about it with her, it could hurt her feelings, and that was the last thing I wanted. So instead of saying anything, I kept silent. Sometimes saying nothing was the best path to take.
Her shoulders drooped, and she glanced away. “Okay.” She blew out a breath. “I get it.”
“Elodie—”
“Your mom will be calling me in a few minutes.” She looked down at her cell next to her. My mom had been calling her every day since we’d gotten here. She’d even gotten in touch with her high school and had them email all her work over so she wouldn’t fall behind. “Maybe we can watch a movie after that?”
She was offering me an out, agreeing to the distraction I’d given to her, and I didn’t hesitate for a second to accept it. “Sounds like a plan.” I pulled my feet out of the water and stood. “What kind of movie, then?”
She grinned up at me. “Action. Always action.”
I winked. “You’re my kinda girl.”
She snorted, followed up by a laugh, but it wasn’t the fake kind. It was the throw-your-head-back uncontrollable kind. The kind which pulled me to her even more. Each day I learned something new about Elodie, and each day I fell deeper and deeper. Her burn was soul-deep, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Chapter Twenty-Four
ELODIE
The day started out exactly the same as the eight previous to it.
I woke up with Asher next to me on the chair asleep. He refused to sleep in another room, and if I were honest, I preferred to have him in here with me. I felt safer with him around, within arm’s reach. The birds sang outside the window as the sun rose, and I watched from the deck as the cool morning air whipped around me. I’d made it back to the bedroom and into the bathroom without waking Asher up, and for the first time in over a week, I looked at myself in the mirror.
I didn’t skim my gaze over my reflection. Instead, I stared, bone-deep, cataloging each of my features. The bruises had more or less faded now, leaving behind a darkish glow and a few spots where the swelling hadn’t fully gone down. But that was only my face. My ribs still ached, although not half as bad, but it was the soreness between my legs that reminded me the most. Every time I used the bathroom, it stung, and I knew it was from where the assault had grazed me inside, which meant I was never far away from it. It was always there, a subtle reminder to not let go completely.
It didn’t matter how much I wanted to move on. Reality was, I’d never be the same again, so I had to adjust to the new me—the me who had scars on the outside and inside. The me who was determined to wage the war I’d been thrown into. I’d slowly collected the right weapons, and now that I knew how to semi-use them, I could fight back.
That was what I told myself anyway. But as I stared into my eyes and witnessed the sadness shadowing them, I worried I’d never win. That I’d always be a few steps behind everyone else. Would people see me differently now? Would they treat me a certain kind of way? Would they hate me? Think I was fragile? I didn’t know what would happen from here. All I could be sure of was having Asher at my side.
I smiled at the thought of him. Over the last few days, since we’d been out on the boat, we’d been closer than ever. He’d told me more about his time as a Marine. He reeled off stories about him and Jax, both good and bad, and I felt like I was part of it. I felt like I was on the inside and not on the outskirts, something which had never happened before. I knew he was leaving me in the dark with some things, but it was inevitable. It wasn’t like I was over here telling him about every single time Knox had laid his hands on me, so why would he do the same?
We were bridging the gap, getting to know each other on a level neither of us had before. But nothing made me feel as close as when we’d watch a movie on the sofa, popcorn between us, our fingers intertwined. It was a small thing, something which most teenagers did, but it was big for us. He was touching me with my permission, and I slowly
felt my control over my body coming back to me.
“Elodie?” I jumped at Asher’s sleepy voice. “You in there?”
“Yeah, I…” I spun around and stared at the door, expecting it to open any minute. “I’m just getting in the shower.”
“Okay.” His voice was close, so close it was as if he was talking to me through the small gap where the door closed. “I’m gonna go shower too, then we can head into town and get some food for tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” I asked, frowning. He couldn’t see me, but I knew he’d be able to hear the confusion in my voice.
“Yeah.” His voice was farther away this time. “Thanksgiving.”
Thanksgiving? I blinked. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d celebrated Thanksgiving. “I…okay.” I didn’t move from my spot as I heard his footsteps move away. We were already at the end of November. Since the school year had started, I’d broken it off with Knox, been beat up by him, and—
I shook my head. I wasn’t going to think of the negatives. I had to focus on the positives. That was what Asher kept telling me anyway. Let the negatives happen, but then let them go. It was like a prayer he said over and over again, and the more he said it, the more I believed it. It wasn’t about pretending the negatives weren’t there. Instead, you had to let them be, acknowledge them, then let them go. It was working so far. So, I let them fly over my head and smiled as I thought about all the good that had happened to me since the start of the school year.
I’d met Leo and become friends with him.
I’d fallen for Asher—my heart beat faster at that thought.
Lola and Belle had come into my life, two women who were strong and vibrant, but more importantly, taught me there was kindness in this world.
I’d had so much happiness within arm’s reach, and it was only now I understood I could move on. I didn’t have to stay in this place in my mind where I felt like everything was going to get me. I could let Asher wrap his arms around me—I could initiate contact with him. I could show him that I was moving on.
Burned Duet: Asher & Elodie: Fast Burn & Deep Burn (Easton Family Duet Boxsets Book 4) Page 31