“I texted Troy, Gambler, and Demon. We’ll see if any of them come.” I grabbed the deck of cards from Turtle and shuffled them.
I dealt and sat back in my chair while I waited for Hammer and Turtle to finish pouring their drinks.
This was not how I had expected to spend my night, but the one person I wanted to be with, I couldn’t.
Life sucked, and I had no fucking clue how to fix it.
********
Chapter 3
Fayth
“Did she say anything today?”
“No. Same as the past weeks. She wakes up, gets dressed, then sits in the chair by the window all day.”
They were talking about me like I wasn’t even in the room. I stared blankly out the window and wondered what the hell was going on.
I wanted to talk. I wanted to tell everyone to shut the hell up and leave me alone, but I couldn’t. The words I yearned to speak wouldn’t leave my throat.
“Are there any more tests we can run? Are you sure there isn’t something going on that we can’t see?” Leo’s voice drifted over to me, and I shook my head. It was like he was hoping there was a problem because without a problem to fix, there was nothing for him to do.
“There isn’t much more that we can do. Considering what she has been through, she’s doing miraculously well.”
“But she’s not fucking talking!” Leo thundered.
“She acknowledges people when they talk to her, and there are no signs that there was any brain damage. Her muteness is more than likely the way she is dealing with the trauma.” I heard the doctor’s footsteps lightly tread out of the room.
Leo sighed heavily. “Just one word, Fay, that’s all that I want.” He sounded exhausted.
One word? Hell, I had a hundred fucking words to say, but I just couldn’t get them out.
“I don’t know what it’s going to take for you to talk.” Leo fell into the chair across from me and crossed his legs. He glanced at the table next to me and sighed. “I don’t know why you refuse to use the pen and paper to communicate.”
I rolled my eyes and looked back out the window. I didn’t need the pen and paper. I woke up in the morning, the nurse helped me shower, and then I moved to the chair by the window. I didn’t have anything to tell anyone, and I wouldn’t have anything to say until I was able to talk.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Leo shift in his chair and lean his head back. “They set the court date for next Monday. Did you want to go?”
Did I want to go to court and see the guy who had tried to kill me? No, thank you. I had seen that asshole one too many times.
“I’ll take your silence as no. Apollo and I will be there. I’m going to make sure that bastard never sees the light of day again.”
I didn’t want to think of Big A ever again, let alone know what happened to him.
“Greer come by to see you today?” Leo asked. I didn’t answer, because he already knew the answer. There was rarely ever an answer Leo didn’t know. He made it his prerogative to know the answer before he asked the question. “She just wants to see you, Fay. You and Greer used to be good friends.”
Yeah, we were great friends before I got shot in the head and went mute.
“I went out to lunch with her and Apollo today. It’s still hard to believe that those two are together. It’s a miracle Kane didn’t blow a gasket when he found out about those two in Vegas.”
That was an understatement. Greer was Kane’s younger sister who had gone to Vegas over new years, and when she had come back, she was with Apollo, Leo’s right hand man and Kane’s best friend. I had known Greer for years and knew she had a thing for Apollo, but never imagined she would actually do anything about it. But if you hear Apollo talk about Greer, you would figure out Greer hadn’t been the one to do the pursuing. Apollo had wanted Greer, and he didn’t give her room to say no.
“I think Greer is going to be good for him. She gives him a different perspective that he never had before.” Leo sighed heavily, and I looked over at him. He looked tired and worn down, like he hadn’t slept in weeks. I quirked my eyebrow at him, and he knew I was waiting to hear whatever he had to say.
“I don’t know what to do anymore, Fayth. I’ve exhausted every avenue I can go down to help you. I’m at a loss and I fucking hate it.” He scowled.
Leo Banachi at a loss. Now, that was something I never thought I would see. Leo was in the position that he was because he never took no for an answer, and if there was anything standing in his way, he bulldozed through it. I never would have thought I would be the person to break him.
“I need you to tell me what to do, Fay. You’ve always been there telling me what you think I should do even when I’m not asking you.”
I cocked my head to the side. Did he really think this was what I wanted? I felt like I was suffocating in my own body with no chance of catching my breath anywhere.
“Marco fucking needs you, Fayth. If this is how you are going to be from now on, we need to get back to living, and we’ll figure out how to deal with this.”
Marco. I was being a shit mom, but I couldn’t help but think he was better off without me. We had temporarily moved to Rockton because Marco had decided he was going to take after Leo and was doing shit no fifteen-year-old should know how to do, let alone be doing them. But in the end, all moving to Rockton had done was get me shot, mute, and Marco hating me even more.
Leo’s phone rang, and he shook his head. “Mother fuckers, can’t leave me alone for more than ten minutes.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scowled. “I need to take care of this. We’ll finish this conversation later. Just try harder, Fay.”
He pressed a kiss to the side of my head and then disappeared from the room.
I looked back out the window and sighed. Try harder? Was that even possible?
I opened my mouth, praying the simple word, “hi,” would fall from my lips, but nothing came out. The room was silent, and I was going crazy in the prison my body had become.
********
Slider
“I’m coming to see her,” I barked into the phone.
“No. you can’t.”
“She’s fucking thirty-one years old. I’m pretty damn sure I don’t need your fucking permission to see her.”
“You’re right, but she’s going through enough right now without you pulling into town and fucking up her life even more than you already have.”
I wanted to reach through the phone and punch the fucking shit out of Leo. I knew I was the reason Fayth had gotten shot and now couldn't speak. I was supposed to be the one to protect her, and I had let her wander off without taking notice of what she was doing. Every damn day I woke up blaming myself. “Once. I just need to see her one time to let her know that I fucked up.”
“We all know you fucked up, Slider. I’m reminded of your fuck up every time I talk to her, expecting a response, and all I get is silence.”
I gritted my teeth and growled. “Let me see her.”
“No. I’ve told you every day that I will be the one to let you know when you can see her, but still you insist on calling every day.”
“You can’t keep me from her. Not forever, Leo.”
“You’d be surprised at the things I’m capable of, Slider. Lose my number.” The line went dead in my ear, and I gripped the phone in my hand, trying to crush it.
This wasn’t fucking fair. I hadn’t known back then that Big A was going to go after Fayth. The guy was a complete psychopath and had stopped making sense months ago when he had gone off the deep end.
“And that is why you should have kept Fayth close,” I said to my empty bedroom. Leo was right, this was all of my fault.
I had pushed Fayth away, trying to convince myself she was some stuck-up woman who was a pain in my ass who I didn’t care about. Deep down, I knew she was unlike any woman I had ever met, and that terrified the hell out of me.
I tossed my phone on the bed and ran my fingers through my hai
r. The only noise in the room was the quiet tick of the alarm clock I had next to the bed, and I saw it was only six o’clock. Every day dragged by, an hour feeling like four, and a day feeling like ten. I was going crazy waiting for the chance to see Fayth again.
Calling Leo was the only glimmer of hope I had each day, praying today would be the day he would let me know Fayth had spoken or that I could come visit. But today was like all the other days. No change and there was no way in hell I could come down there.
“Yo, Slider,” King called and banged on my door.
“What?” I growled.
“We’re heading out to eat. You wanna come with?”
Hang out with King and Meg, along with probably all of the other brothers and their ol’ ladies? No fucking thanks. “I’m good. I'm just grab something from the kitchen.”
“There ain’t a lot to fucking eat. That’s why we’re headed out.”
“I’m good.” Not only did I not want to go out, I knew I wasn’t good company. Hell, I hadn’t been good company for the past two months.
I heard King tread back down the hallway, and I grabbed my phone off the bed. I had one more phone call to make. It was the same phone call I always made right after I talked to Leo, and I knew I would get the same result I always did.
My thumb swiped over Fayth’s name, and I put the phone to my ear.
Hi, you’ve reached Fayth. I can’t get to the phone right now because I probably screened your phone call and don’t want to talk to you. Leave a message that I’ll never check, or just hang up. Have a good day!
I tossed my phone back on the bed and ran my fingers through my hair. Same as every day. Her phone was off, but I still listened to her message to the end because that might be the last time I hear her voice.
Listening to her message was better than replaying her screaming my name and that awful, blood-curdling scream that came right after it. I didn’t think I could ever forget that day. The way her body jarred back and then crumpled to the ground in the next second was burned into my brain.
I fell back onto the bed and closed my eyes. I replayed it over in my head, knowing this would be my punishment for the rest of my life. I was supposed to keep Fayth safe, and I had failed her.
Now, I get to relive that hellish day forever.
Three months ago…
I didn’t get to her fast enough.
In the time King had called, telling us to make sure everyone was accounted for, Big A had already grabbed her.
She was lying on the ground, blood oozing from her head and her body limp.
“Slider!” I heard Demon call.
I knew he had heard the gunshot, and I prayed like hell for him to hurry up and get here so I could go to Fayth.
Big A struggled underneath me, gasping for air as my knee dug into his throat, pinning him in place.
The barrel of my gun pressed to the side of his head and my finger was poised on the trigger as I watched the realization of what was going on wash over his eyes. “You’re fucking dead, asshole,” I growled.
Footsteps sounded behind me, and I cocked the hammer back.
“Is she dead?”
I looked over my shoulder and saw Demon and Remy standing there. “No,” I growled low.
“Remy, call nine-one-one and head back to the house. Stay with your mom and Paige,” Demon ordered.
“Are you going to kill him?” Remy asked, his eyes glued to the man beneath me who was still trying to wrestle his way out from under me.
“Go back to the house now, Remy,” Demon barked.
Demon knew what I was about to do. A man like me didn’t let a piece of shit like this live after he had terrorized the people I called my family. “He doesn’t deserve to live.”
“Demon?”
“Son of a bitch.” Demon spun around, and I saw Meg and Paige traipsing through the woods.
“Mother fucker,” I cussed. There was no way in hell I could do what I needed to do now with Meg and Paige here. “Demon, hold this piece of shit.” I hauled Big A off of the ground, twisted his arms behind his back, and marched him over to Demon.
“We called the police when we heard the gunshots,” Meg said, her voice quaking.
Demon grabbed Big A and I flew over to Fayth, falling on my knees beside her. I brushed aside her hair and pressed my hand to the wound on the side of her head. As far as I could tell, it looked like the bullet had just grazed her, but it was still bleeding like a son of a bitch.
I had tried to get a shot off at Big A when he had fired at Fayth, but I wasn’t as lucky as he had been. “I need something to tie around her head,” I barked.
“Here,” Remy called. He thrust a sweatshirt into my hand and kneeled next to me. “Just tell me what you need me to do.”
“Hold her head still while I try to tie this to help stop the bleeding.” Remy cradled her head and I gently slid the shirt under her head and tied it tightly around it. “How long did they say it would take the ambulance to get here, Meg?”
“Ten minutes, but that was more than five minutes ago. They should be here anytime,” she chattered.
“Should we move her?” Remy asked.
“I don’t fucking know.” I had no idea what the hell to do. I wanted to scoop her up, take her to my truck, and drive to the hospital myself, but I had no idea if that would hurt her even more.
“I hear sirens,” Paige called.
“I’ll run to the road and flag them down,” Meg said.
“Paige, go with her. I’ll be right behind with this asshole,” Demon ordered. “You okay with her? Is she still breathing?” Demon asked me.
Fayth’s chest was gently rising up and down, and she moved slightly on my arms. “Yeah, for now. I have no idea how bad he got her.”
“We need to move her. I don’t think they’ll be able to get back here to grab her.”
I had already fucked up royally, I didn’t need to hurt her even more. “Demon, I don’t—”
“Slider, pick her up and bring her to the cabin now.” Demon marched toward the cabin, leaving me no choice on what my next move would be.
Remy stood up. “I’ll help you.”
I gathered Fayth into my arms; a small groan fell from her lips. Her eyes were still shut as I gently lifted her up and rested her head on my shoulder. “Run ahead, Remy. Make sure they are ready for her.”
Remy sprinted off, jumping brush and fallen branches. I followed behind slowly, careful not to jar her head. Each step I took, I felt the weight of what had just happened settle on me.
We had finally stopped Big A, but now Fayth was hurt, and it was all my fault.
********
Chapter 4
Fayth
“Mom.”
I looked away from the window and saw Marco standing in the doorway. I attempted a small smile at the sight of him. He was becoming a man with each passing day, and it felt like I was missing it. He looked so much like his uncle Leo that he had been mistaken many times for being Leo’s son rather than mine.
“Did you want to watch a movie with me downstairs?” he asked. “We can even watch one of those girly movies you like.” He shoved his hands in his pocket and shifted his weight from foot to foot.
I opened my mouth to say yes, but nothing came out. Disappointment washed over me, and I again wished like hell I could say one simple word. Every day, Marco came to my room, asking me to do something with him, and each day, I said no because I had been wallowing in my own self-pity. He ate breakfast with me each morning, filling the silence between us with mindless chatter about his day.
“I can pop some popcorn for us,” he said, hope filling his voice.
I nodded once, knowing I couldn’t keep going the way that I was. I was still a mother even though I couldn’t talk.
“I’ll get the movie ready and pop the popcorn.” Marco sprinted down the hallway, and I couldn’t help but notice how happy I had made him just by agreeing to watch a movie with him. Baby steps.
I r
ose from my chair and glanced in the mirror over my dresser. I looked the same, but I didn’t feel like it. Everything had changed, but yet, it hadn’t. It was like I had stepped into a time machine and come out six months earlier—before Marco had started acting up, and we had moved to Rockton. One move had changed our lives, and, at the time, I thought that change would be for the better, but now, I couldn’t help but regret picking up and moving.
“Marco said you were going to watch a movie with him?” Leo asked. I saw his reflection in the mirror as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorjamb.
I nodded and grabbed my brush. I gingerly pulled it through my hair, careful of the six-inch scar on the right side of my head. They had shaved around the wound in the hospital so they had been able to stitch it up, and the hair had finally started to grow back. Thankfully, if I wore my hair down, you were barely able to tell I had a massive bald spot.
“You think I could watch with you guys, too?”
I shrugged. It was up to Leo if he wanted to hang out with us. It wasn’t like I could tell him no.
“It’s going to get better, Fayth,” he said quietly.
Was it? It didn’t feel like it was. I sat in my chair, day in and day out, and only got out for Marco. If I had it my way, I wouldn’t get out of bed most days.
“I’ll meet you downstairs.” Leo disappeared down the hall, and I focused on my image in the mirror.
Everything looks the same—my slightly curly black hair, my striking and a bit exotic face, my body, although it was a bit thinner given my lack of appetite these days. How could everything be unchanged on the outside, but be so completely different on the inside? It was driving me crazy.
Getting my nails done and hitting the latest Coach sale at the mall no longer mattered to me. Hell, if I was honest, nothing mattered to me anymore.
Today had been the first day I had actually taken Marco’s feelings into account.
“Mom, the popcorn is ready!” he called up the stairs.
Unraveling Fayth (Devil's Knights Book 8) Page 2