by Maya Banks
Already she loved her son with a fierceness that surprised her. She hadn’t imagined being so connected to another life in quite this way. She talked to him every day. Sang to him at night. Read him stories while she lounged on the sofa after a long day of dealing with business stuff.
Her child had given her a purpose. She was even more determined to succeed. To be a mom her son would be proud of. She never wanted her kid to feel about her the way she felt about her own mother.
Where Miranda was more concerned for her own happiness than that of her child, Pippa was never going to go that route. Her son would be the single most important person in her life.
For the next half hour, Tabitha and Carly kept up a lively stream of chatter as they applied makeup and touched up her hair. Pippa’s heart was full of love for her friends. They were working hard to keep her mind off the impending grand opening and to allay her nervousness.
Just as they finished the last brush of the mascara wand, the door burst open and Ashley and Sylvia tried to shove inside.
“Pippa, you have to come see!” Ashley exclaimed.
She grabbed Pippa’s hand and hauled her toward the front. As they stumbled into the eating area, Pippa’s eyes rounded in shock.
People. Lots and lots of people!
All crowded outside the entrance to her shop. Waiting for her to open. And her employees, bless their hearts, were outside circulating with cups of hot coffee and samples of her baked goods.
Tears gathered and Carly whispered fiercely in her ear. “Don’t you dare mess up that mascara!”
Pippa laughed and then excitedly hugged all her friends.
Half an hour later, the doors opened and the customers surged in. There was much laughter as all of Pippa’s friends helped serve the crush of people.
For two hours there was no end to the line of people. As fast as they could ring customers up, others came in droves.
It was past noon when Pippa looked up and saw Cam stride through the front door, shoving his way past a line of customers. He sought her out and then fixed his stare on her as he moved toward the counter.
“Go on,” Ashley whispered. “I’ll take the register for a while.”
“You sure?” Pippa looked doubtfully at her friend. “You’ve been on your feet for a long time, Ash. Maybe you should take a break. Devon’s going to kill me for wearing you out.”
Ashley smiled. “I’m having fun and I get to eat all the cupcakes I want. Total win!”
Pippa grinned back and then stepped away from the counter to meet Cam around the side.
“Looks like you’ve drawn a huge crowd,” Cam said when she got close enough for her to hear him.
“It’s fantastic! I can’t believe it. We’ve been hopping all morning.”
Cam smiled. “Can I get a cup of coffee and a few minutes of your time?”
She glanced over at her friends, who were waving her on and giving her the okay signal that they were fine handling the customers. She waved back and said to Cam, “Okay, you’ve got me for a few minutes.”
She poured him a cup of coffee, grabbed a pastry, a croissant and a cupcake and then motioned him into the kitchen.
They walked through to the office at the very rear of the shop. She closed the door behind them and then took a seat at the small desk. Or rather she sagged into it.
“Oh, my God, I may never get back up.” She groaned.
His eyes narrowed in concern. “When was the last time you slept? Have you been here all night?”
“It’s been a while,” she said ruefully. “And yeah, I was here all night getting ready.”
“You should rest. That can’t be good for you or the baby.”
“I won’t argue that point. I plan to go straight home and sleep about twelve hours before I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.”
He was silent a long moment. He looked for the world like he wanted to argue. His lips were set in a line and his jaw ticked. He ran a hand through his hair. To her surprise, he seemed unsure of himself.
“I wanted to come by to see how it was going. But mostly I wanted to say once more that I’m sorry for what happened at the clinic. I’m trying, Pippa. I know you probably don’t believe that, but I am trying to deal with this.”
She pushed the coffee and the plate of yummies at him, her heart melting just a little at the vulnerability she saw in those troubled eyes of his.
“Tell me how awesome I am,” she teased as she held up the cupcake.
He looked suspiciously at the cupcake piled high with fluffy pink icing. Unable to resist the opening, she swiped a finger full and then smeared it over his lips.
He reared back in surprise but his tongue automatically came out to lick away the sticky frosting. Then he took the cupcake from her and carefully peeled away the wrapper. He took a cautious bite and then stared down at it as if trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe.
“Okay, you’re awesome.”
“I know,” she said smugly. “Damn good, isn’t it?”
He took another bite and then smiled. “Yeah. Does this mean I’m forgiven?”
She cocked her head to the side and decided to let down her guard. “That depends on where you take me to dinner tonight. I’m starving and I want a steak. I’m sugared out from eating my own goodies. Me and baby want red meat.”
She waited for the flinch. The inevitable reaction when he was reminded of the son she carried. But he didn’t react. He actually seemed hugely relieved that she’d taken the matter in hand and barged forward. Well, that was typical Pippa. Bull in a china closet and all that.
“I’d like that,” he said in a somber voice. “I’ll make early reservations for us so you can get home and rest. I have a meeting in a little while but I’ll swing back by at closing time, run you by your apartment if you want to change and then we’ll go eat.”
“That sounds awesome,” she said with a sigh.
He rose from his seat and then held a hand out to help her up. “You’ve done a great job making this place your own, Pippa. By the looks of that crowd, I’d say they agree with me. You have a solid success on your hands.”
She squeezed his hand as she came around the desk. “I owe a lot of it to you. If you hadn’t gotten me this great place, I’d probably still be looking for space to lease.”
“I was glad to do it. You’ve worked hard for this.”
Part of her was saddened by the slight awkwardness between them and the almost formal way they danced around each other. She longed for the easy friendship that she’d come to rely on over the past few months. If she couldn’t have a more intimate relationship with him, she’d at least take friendship. Anything but this unease between them.
She gave him a quick hug to convey that she was seemingly unaffected by all that had transpired and then herded him back through the kitchen and out the front, where there was still a steady stream of customers spilling into the shop.
He hesitated a moment as they stood at the counter and then he leaned in to brush his lips across her cheek. “I’ll see you in a few hours. Try to take it easy, okay?”
As he walked away, she raised trembling fingers to the place he’d kissed her.
Hot and cold. She could never figure out where she stood with him and it pissed her off. One thing she knew for certain—she wasn’t going to wait around forever while he got his act together.
Fifteen
Cam drove past Pippa’s café to see the open sign go out and lights start to flicker off inside. He gave the voice command to dial Pippa’s cell and then turned to circle the block.
After a few rings, she answered, her breathless voice doing odd things to his insides.
“I’ll just be a minute,” she said by way of greet
ing.
“No hurry. I’m circling the block. I’ll pull up so you can just come out.”
He maneuvered the SUV through traffic and waited for the light to turn so he could turn back onto her street. He tapped his thumbs impatiently on the steering wheel and he realized that he was anxious to see her again.
It didn’t compute. He had this sick love-hate relationship going on. He wanted to be as far from her as possible. She made him nervous. She looked at him like she could see right past the front he put on.
At the same time, when he was away even a short period of time, he got anxious. He needed to know she was okay, that she had everything she needed. That she was safe. And hell, if he was honest, he just wanted to see her again.
He had to let go of his pain. He had to move on. But how did one ever just decide that sort of thing? At what point did the hurting stop? At what point did one stop being gripped by paralyzing fear over the thought of losing someone you cared about?
He didn’t have the answers, and until he did, this thing between him and Pippa would never work. He didn’t want it to work.
Which didn’t explain why he was circling the block, anxious to see her again. It made no sense. He should be at home. He should have never apologized, though he certainly owed her the apology and more. But he should have let it go, allowed her to remain angry with him. In the end it was kinder to both of them. A clean break. No remorse. No recriminations. No dragging it out only to rehash it all again later.
But he wanted to see her. He wanted… He wanted her. On his own terms. He recognized the selfishness of it and yet he couldn’t stop himself from craving her. In or out of bed. It mattered little to him. He just wanted to be near her because, God help him, he felt more alive whenever she walked into a room.
He slowed as he approached her shop and leaned forward to see if she was waiting. She was at her door, locking up, the wind blowing through her dark hair. Then she turned and he was struck by the picture she presented. Young, vibrant, beautiful.
She saw him and waved, her face lighting up with a gorgeous smile. She hurried forward, one hand cupped to her belly and the other hanging on to her purse. He stopped and leaned over to push open the door for her. She climbed in, melted into the seat with a sweet sigh and then turned that dazzling smile on him.
It was like being kicked in the stomach.
“It is sooo nice to be off my feet,” she said.
Blinking, he realized he was sitting still while angry horns beeped behind him. He eased off the brake and drove away, listening as she talked in animated fashion about her day and how amazing the turnout had been.
His blood hummed with desire. With need. He wanted her. He didn’t want to want her.
He couldn’t process a single rational thought.
Suddenly the thought of spending so much time in a restaurant didn’t appeal. She looked tired. He was impatient. He needed to have her to himself.
“Change in plans,” he said gruffly as he turned left so he could circle back to her apartment.
She roused from her semistupor and shot him an inquisitive glance. “What’s up? You standing me up?”
He smiled at the growl in her voice. “Oh, no, far from it. What I’m doing is taking you back to your place so you can put your feet up on the couch while I order us the best damn steak money can buy. Then I’m going to take you to bed, give you an all-over body massage and make love to you until you pass out.”
Her eyes widened and then she blinked, momentarily speechless. “Well, okay,” she finally said.
He smiled in satisfaction at her acceptance. It was more than okay.
* * *
When Pippa let them into her apartment, the air was electric and heavy with anticipation. She wouldn’t even meet his gaze because she was sure she was an open book, and hey, a woman had to have some mystery, right?
Only it wasn’t a mystery that she wanted him. Or that from the moment he’d laid out his plans for the evening she’d become a quivering ball of anticipation.
She walked ahead of him into the living room, her step lighter than it had been all day. Her fatigue had fled and she felt energized. Ready.
Her skin prickled with tiny goose bumps every time he so much as looked her way. It felt like her very first date. Her very first kiss. The first time she’d ever gotten naked in front of a man. She wasn’t sure whether she liked it or not.
“Why don’t you sit and relax,” he said. “I can find my way around your apartment. I’ll phone in our order and get things started. Would you like something to drink?”
This suddenly very solicitous side of Cam was confusing the hell out of her. She liked this new Cam very, very much and she could get used to it.
It wasn’t as if he was never generous with her. Quite the opposite. He went to great lengths to take care of her needs but he did so as impersonally as possible.
But now his caring seemed very personal. She didn’t know if this was a further attempt to make up for walking out of the sonogram or if he was genuinely softening toward her. Who the hell knew with him?
“I’ll take a bottled water. There’s one in the fridge,” she said as she settled on the couch.
She propped her feet on the ottoman and groaned in sheer pleasure. She leaned her head against the back of the couch and closed her eyes while she listened to him putter around the kitchen. Then she heard the rumble of his voice as he placed their dinner order. A moment later, he returned to the living room and handed her the drink.
“Thank you.”
“Your grand opening was quite the success,” he said.
He took a seat in her armchair and propped his feet just inches from hers.
“I owe a lot of my opening day success to you. Maybe all of it.”
He shook his head. “I gave you a place but it was your talent and hard work that made it happen.”
“Thank you for saying that. It means a lot. I’ve been working toward this for a very long time.”
He put his hands behind his head and cupped his nape. “Have you thought about what you’ll do after the baby is born?”
She cocked her head to the side and glanced questioningly at him. “What do you mean?”
“Will you keep your current schedule or will you employ others to run the shop so that you have more time with our son?”
For a moment she couldn’t respond. She was too struck by the reference to their son. And she was reminded that she and Cam weren’t a couple. Of course he would wonder what arrangements she’d made because he wasn’t going to be there on a 24/7 basis.
It shocked her how much that hurt. How much she wanted it to be different.
“I haven’t decided yet,” she said slowly. “A lot will depend on how the café is doing and if I can afford to hire more help. I have to train my assistant so that she can duplicate my recipes while I’m out on maternity leave. But I can’t close down. That’s not even an option.”
“Of course not. If you’ll allow me to help, I can certainly put some feelers out. We have a number of pastry chefs that work in our various hotels. I’m sure we could loan one to you for a few weeks.”
She stared back at him, mouth open. “Cam, you guys own five-star resorts. There is no way I could afford to pay even three weeks’ wages to a world-class pastry chef like the ones you guys employ.”
“He or she would of course remain on our payroll.”
She sighed. “I can’t keep relying on you, Cam. I’m only setting myself up to fail miserably. What you’ve done is so wonderful and so helpful but it also skews the results. When all your support goes away, I’ll be left in a lurch.”
He frowned. “No one says it’s going away.”
“I say it’s going away,” she said gently. “I have to make a g
o of this myself, Cam.”
He didn’t argue, although she had the distinct feeling that he hadn’t dropped the subject for good. Then a completely unrelated thought struck her.
“I didn’t frame my first dollar.”
He blinked in surprise and then seemed puzzled by her dismay.
Her lips turned down into a frown. “You’re supposed to frame the first dollar you make. You know, when you start a business. You didn’t do that with yours?”
“Hell, Pippa, your first sale was probably a debit card purchase. Nobody carries cash anymore. You could always frame the credit card receipt.”
She pulled a face. “You’re such a party pooper. You don’t have your first dollar?”
He shrugged. “I still have my first million.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me. Does money mean anything at all to you or has it lost its value?”
“Of course it means something.” He scowled, making her almost want to giggle. “It means I can support our child and you. It means I can live comfortably and not worry about where my next meal is coming from. It means you don’t have to worry about your lack of health insurance.”
She held up her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I was being a snot. It was an unfair jab. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not out blowing my cash if that’s what you were wondering.”
Her cheeks warmed and she glanced away. “No, I was just stereotyping you and being flip. I really didn’t mean anything by it. People who don’t have a lot of money tend to not really understand people who do have money. Or their attitude toward money.”
He lifted one eyebrow. “I hope you’re not implying I’m a snob.”
“No,” she said truthfully. “I truly don’t think you’re a snob. You can be a first-class jerk, but not a snob.”
He shot her a glare and she snickered.
The doorbell interrupted and Cam quickly rose to go answer. A moment later, he came back, followed by a delivery person who set up the food on the coffee table. The young man smiled at Pippa and then he and Cam disappeared from the living room once more.