I refused to comment on that, so Alexander changed the subject.
Alexander/converse, “We have restored access to the critical three days, but without their emotional content. Luciana wishes to explore the period carefully, but I would like to know whether you feel stable and coherent right now.”
Oddly, I did. I deliberately set myself to be the Ghost and waited to see if I changed back to the Cripple when someone said something shocking.
Me/converse, “For the moment, yes. Why?”
Alexander/converse, “I have made a change to the routine in your old med monitor in the part that allowed you to switch personae spontaneously. That should now require conscious control. You still have the option of choosing several at once, but they should be stable selections. It was a pretty problem trying to edit the old monitor when the new one intercepted all my commands. There are still large parts I cannot access. Luciana, ask him to think of something provocative.”
Toyami/converse, “Do you remember the significance of Clan Qinghai Mining?”
I did. They were the clan who owned the allegiance of the pirate ships that had attacked us between the Moon and L2. I was still the Ghost.
Me/converse, “No change. Try something more provocative.”
I could not see her face inside the mask, but she cringed a bit in her armour.
Toyami/converse, “Do you remember talking about Vancouver with Leilani?”
I did. That episode had ended in tears on both sides. Too much emotion always got in the way of necessary work.
Me/converse, “No change. I remember that you injected both of us with sex stims and we started broadcasting everything to each other. That will create a whole new market for real-life experiences once people realize it can be done. Can you imagine the black-market possibilities for spacer orgies on the Earth?”
Alexander blinked several times.
Alexander/converse “A man after my own heart, or some organ not too far away. I assume you are being hyper-rational right now?”
Me/converse, “I am. Let me see how easy it is to combine two of them...”
For the sake of the conversation, I combined the Ghost with the Cripple. Yow, the memories of Vancouver and of the orgy were different experiences with full emotions. The memories themselves seemed somewhat unreal, but the emotional content was being recreated by the Cripple, who knew what they meant. I was glad I had left the Ghost in half control because I would have burst into tears again. I switched back to being just the Ghost.
Me/converse, “Those memories trigger very strong emotions, even without remembering the original emotions. I will wait to explore them when I have recovered some more.”
Alexander/converse, “Fascinating and profoundly strange. I take it you made those persona changes deliberately? Good.”
Toyami/converse, “Please be very careful when you have your emotions engaged. You got out before you drained a significant quantity of meds, but the change in the requested flow rate was very large. I have only one more question, and then I would like you to stop thinking these thoughts for a while. You had some bad dreams after the orgy. Do you remember them at all?”
I thought about that but reached the same conclusion most people do about dreams. Me/converse, “No, they have faded completely. I remember feeling like a very small child and commenting that everyone had died and then Leilani and I were heading for the Belt, but I do not remember the dream at all.”
Toyami/converse, “The Buddha is merciful. The rest of us sampled those dreams while awake and cannot escape from their grip. I am still so scared I can barely sleep. I have been working with the surgeons on the paper when I should have been resting. I am surprised you managed to live through that night, between the dreams and the failure of the medical monitor.
“Alexander, do not even think about viewing the Nightmares. We knew what he has been working on and were still traumatized. They would shatter your rationality and leave you a gibbering wreck.
“Now we need to think different thoughts. Alexander, would this be a good time to tell him how you got out of Valhalla?”
Me/converse, “No, Doctor. There are some issues I must discuss with Alexander and one or two things I must discuss with you before I can allow myself to be distracted.
“Alexander, we must discuss my old comm unit. When I was being broken and they were installing the modified software, I was awake and aware. I noticed one block of code that they used as an editor, and while changes were enabled I made my own copy. I used it to make the personal changes that you have noticed, conspicuous by their poor coding. If you have trouble reaching some of those places, I may be able to edit them myself, provided that the modifications are small. I can, in principle, make big changes as well, but editing my own code is dangerous. I was working under extreme time pressure at the time, but we can afford to be more careful today.”
Alexander/converse, “That could work. What did you have in mind?”
Me/converse, “Three things principally. First, I want the Censor to continue its operation. It provides a useful warning when I inadvertently stray into topics that may endanger myself or other people. However, all I want it to do is raise an alarm, which I can ignore if I choose.
“Secondly, there is a block of their code that protects me from an emotional response to pain. It makes torture ineffective against me. I thought at first that the change was physical, that they had done surgery on my brain to cut the connection, but I subsequently realized that they would have reduced their own control over my actions. The change had to be in software, something they could turn on and off as required. I have no idea where that code is located, but I would like that feature to be made permanent and unchangeable. I expect to be tortured again at some time in the future and do not wish to relinquish that capability.
“Thirdly, I am concerned that the people who broke me still exist and would have activated me as a weapon already if they knew where I was. I suspect that we escaped from the earth stations at the last possible moment. There are ten large blocks of code I have never been able to read. I suspect they are encrypted. I have found one small block of code that calls a single routine, passing it a key of some kind and the address of one of the encrypted blocks. I suspect that one of their agents will pass me the key and run that code, activating me against my will to destroy an unknown target. I want to change that routine to warn me that something is happening. Ideally, it would decipher the code so we can read it but give me a gentle warning instead of executing anything dangerous.
“I am thinking of that cartoon where the Ghost pulls a huge gun, but when he tries to shoot, it pops out a little sign that waves up and down saying ‘YOU DEAD’. I want something like that, only without the Ghostly temper tantrum that always followed.”
For the first time since I had met him, Alexander had a twinkle in his eye.
Alexander/converse, “My boy, I like the way you think! I must tackle the censor myself. It would be far too dangerous for you to modify that code by yourself, given the way it immobilizes you.
“I will look for the torture immunity to see what can be done. I know what to look for. It may surprise you that you were not unique. The bastards created at least seven super-agents with that capability, and I believe you are the only one left alive. I suspect that being broken is the main thing that has saved you so far. The rest walked into ambushes and were tortured to death without revealing their secrets, but of course their missions failed. You need to be very careful how you use that capability.
“As for the gun, the image you mentioned is surely copyrighted but the concept has been around forever, with different bad-tempered villains before the Ghost came along. In fact, I loved it as a child and may add it to the list of standard emojis for everybody. I am sure I can find an example old enough that it is no longer copyrighted, modify it enough to be uniquely ours, and get it to you this afternoon. The rest sounds easy.
“You should have been a coder. We could do beautiful thin
gs together!”
He rushed out the door without even asking if I had any other requests.
Sergei/converse, “Well somebody is having fun today. After asking to endure torture without becoming grumpy, I am worried about what else you had in mind.”
Me/converse, “Please understand that I am being as hyper-rational as I can. Alexander’s patch to control the instability seems to be working, so my next question is more likely to disturb you than me.
“I need to know what is troubling Leilani. It cannot be just anger; she knows how to manage that. You are keeping both of us under continuous watch. Why?”
There was a long silence, before Toyami answered. Even through the comm her voice was tremulous.
Toyami/converse, “She has lost all hope. She wants to die, now, before everyone else. Maybe to set you free to do what you must do. We can distract her with work, but she has already tried to kill herself twice. Brian, we are trying to protect her, to keep her alive, but we do not know what to do!”
Me/converse, “But Doctor, I am filled with hope, for her and you and everyone else! It is what I live for, why I did not find a way to kill myself long ago when it might have been less traumatic. Do I sound despondent? I know I am going to die and I know it will be unpleasant, but everyone dies sometime. I choose to die in a way that gives me hope for everyone else!
“I still cannot talk about the details, but my Plan should make it possible for all of you to live long, happy, productive lives. Between now and then, things will be bad…”
“Ah, but wait. There was a period when I was despondent. After the broadcast orgy, I went to sleep and had the dreams you speak of. I remember being completely hopeless when I woke up, so bad I retreated into my earliest childhood when I could crawl into bed with my owl pillow until Mommy and Daddy had made everything better. Did everybody die in the dreams?”
Sergei/converse, “Everybody, everywhere, in a continuous series of wars that always sterilized the Earth, the Moon, Mars and the Belt. The nightmares always started hopefully as you and Leilani tried to escape together, then got more and more horrible. We all watched the later ones on the monitor, and that was bad enough. To experience the actual recorded dreams is insanely worse. Doctor Toyami, I know this is hard to remember, but Raul told me you were awake when they started and may have watched more than the rest of us. How far did you get?”
She made a choking sound like barely suppressed nausea behind her mask.
Toyami/converse, “The executions. I watched Evgenia, Raul, you Sergei... I was to terrified to even turn it off until they started to cut into me. I vomited and that broke the connection. I had shit myself and was soaked with urine. Hold me, please, I cannot live with this anymore. Somebody, help me.”
Sergei/converse, “Come to me, dear Luciana, I do not think either Brian or I can move yet. They were dreams, not real, and we all had that reaction. Those dreams were warnings, nothing more. You will not be executed and neither will Leilani. He was trying out ideas and none of them worked at any level. He will do something else. Brian does have a plan and he is sure it will work. I just wish he could tell us more of what it requires. Even with his dreams, all he seems to do is talk around it, slowly chipping away the things he will not do.”
It looked really awkward, trying to hug in armour with Sergei clipped to the wall. I picked up the thread.
Me/converse, “He is right, Doctor. I remember feeling despondent because I was trying to save Leilani by myself, and that is impossible because the Martians are quite justly searching for me. They will not stop until they find me and kill me. If I am with her, they will kill her as well. But if I can give myself to them in the right way, they will lose interest in you. I knew that before the orgy and have remembered it again. I cannot save myself, but I can give you a route to freedom.
“I will not lie to you. We have entered the fight very late. Minister Singh thinks it would have been better if we had started two years ago. I think we should have started right after the Counterstrike, or better still we should have removed Governor Ngomo from office at the start of the Incursion. Instead of Governors for the last century, we should have sent armies of lawyers armed with the Terrestrial Constitution and the Three Laws.
“Now, it is almost too little and almost too late, but not quite. There will be suffering, betrayal and death, but also opportunities for reconciliation, for mutual understanding, and for restitution.
“I cannot save Leilani by myself, but we as a team can. I knew that I needed the team from the moment we realized that this was bigger than just a couple of Belter ships behaving strangely. If I can keep their attention away from you, then you can keep her safe, and together we can save all the rest.
“I know most of what I need to do. The rest is just contingencies, the unpredictable things that always crop up. There are still too many unknowns for me to give you a detailed list of what needs to be done, but we will deal with that as we go along. Till then, I must speak in generalities and aspirations.
“There is hope flowing like air through the vents. We can make the Earth pay attention and give good government to Mars. In that way, we can be reconciled with the Martian people. We can bring peace to the Belt. We can forgive the pirates and bring them the prosperity they need to stop their attacks. The Earth is strong and good. We can do this.”
She struggled back to her feet.
Toyami/converse, “The pirates? This ward is filled with pirates. Do you know what they were doing? They stole all the food and meds, but the real purpose was to capture slaves and any who die are going to be eaten. They are CANNIBALS! It is too late. They have already become cannibals. We saw it in the nightmares. They are coming to kill us all. How can I forgive the pirates?”
Sergei/converse, “It is true. We saw that in every dream. At the end, the Belter aristocracy become cannibals.”
I digested that for a moment. I was going to have to review the content of those dreams, but I had neither the time nor the inclination to relive them. I needed something closer.
Me/converse, “Sergei, we know so little about the Belt, hardly more than their recruitment posters. The Earth always delegated governance of the Belt to Mars. When I was there, the Governor had a small office for Belter Affairs, but it was always understaffed and often filled with the incompetent relatives of powerful officeholders. How did it work when you were there?”
Sergei/converse, “You are talking around the issue again, but let us see if we can find the centre. Mostly, that office did nothing at all. The Governor had contracted the work to a couple of the largest Martian corporations, and they ran things as they pleased. Their reports were often copied without changes from one quarter to the next.”
Me/converse, “Corporate, for-profit government by the wealthiest families with no oversight. Sergei, are all regions on the Earth equally prosperous, equally just, equally well managed?”
He snorted, so I continued.
Me/converse, “The Earth has plenty of oversight and still cannot guarantee justice everywhere. It is why we still have regional militias, the TDF, and the Agency in Law Enforcement.
“Do you know why the pirates are here in the infirmary? Did they surrender, or were they captured at gun point?”
Toyami stuttered and choked.
Sergei/converse, “The pirates had come to capture people. They had prisons where the weapons bays would normally have been. They had no warheads to detonate, or we would never have taken the ship. They were helpless, once we disabled the drive, boarded the ship, and turned off their guns. Most of them begged us to take them prisoner. They feared the farmers would take bloody revenge against them, that the Imperium would torture them to death as criminals, and that their Mandarins would eat them as useless failures. They had heard that the TDF was merciful and hoped we would kill them gently. This was the safest place to store them until space was available to be used as a brig.”
Ah, it was like that. I looked back at Toyami.
Whis
pering, Toyami/converse, “How can you feel compassion for such unforgiving, soulless murderers?”
Me/converse, “Doctor, imagine living in the freezing darkness of the Belt in a small clan that is dying of starvation. You are governed by a mandarin class that has turned cannibal and eats anyone they deem to have failed, in part to spare food desperately needed by other clan members. You have no meds, none at all, because the major clans are squeezing you out, so everyone dies young of cancer or wasting diseases.
“Your clan ventures their entire survival on one desperate raid to kidnap people who know how to build and run a pharmaceutical farm, hoping that the chaos of the Imperial invasion will cover your crime. But instead, you are captured. You cannot return home because your only ship has been confiscated. Even if you do, your mandarins will kill you and eat you as failures. The Imperium considers you to be criminals to be executed as only Mars knows how. Your whole clan will be exterminated.
“Doctor, pity these people. They are not pirates because they want to steal other people’s wealth. They are desperate and have exhausted their only hope.
“But the crime was committed against citizens of the Earth and they were captured by the TDF, which is based on the Moon. The TDF executes the most serious traitors within its own ranks, but not captured enemies. They are turned over to the civilian justice system with jurisdiction where the crime occurred. If they are put on trial on either the Earth or the Moon, what will happen to them? Execution? Not in over two hundred years. Do they realize that? But you know how our justice systems work. Doctor, can you bring them hope?
“And Doctor, do you remember all the enigmatic messages we received from the Belter ships as they fled? I do not think those messages came from the big, wealthy factions. Those were from the small clans, who are in trouble right now. From people who are desperate enough to become pirates but are asking instead for our help. They need food, they need medicine, they need decent laws, and an honest economy. The Earth can send them the help they need, if we choose to, if we pay attention to their plight. The Imperium might even support the effort, if only to quell the chaos that piracy creates.
Lord Banshee- Fugitive Page 35