“Another one?” Tanner asked.
Jason looked down at Addie. She looked up at him and shrugged with a small smile. He could see it in her eyes. Something had changed.
“I actually better get going. It’s a long drive back to town and it’s already late.” She gave Jason’s hand a quick squeeze and moved to get up. And inside, Jason’s wolf was panicking.
Chapter 7
Addie was deep in thought as she walked back to her car. She could hear Jason following her, but she didn’t look back and didn’t say anything. She knew it how it looked for her to leave so suddenly, but she couldn’t stay any longer. Something had clicked for her back there, while she was having one of the best nights of her life with Jason and his friends.
And now she was just sad.
Her mind was a muddled mess, thinking about her feelings for Jason and the strange things his friends had said over the course of the night. But the further she got from the warmth and happiness of the fire, the more her mind cleared.
By the time they reached her car, she was pissed.
She was an idiot. Sure, the night had been great overall, but she had let that overshadow the fact that she had let Jason off the hook earlier. He said he would share whatever it was he was hiding, but obviously he wasn’t going to. He’d changed his mind.
She wanted to go back to her cabin and get this summer over with. Get back to the city. Go back to her old life and hope she could forget the moments she’d shared with Jason. She needed to cut ties with him, and it would be easier if she just cut him loose now before her feelings got even stronger.
Addie moved to open her car door as Jason put his palm on the window to keep it shut. She jerked on the handle, hard, but couldn’t get it to budge. Dang, he was strong.
“Please don’t go.” He said, barely a whisper, as she angrily jerked on the door handle, still refusing to look up at him. She could hear the pain in his voice, but instead of compassion, it spurred something else in her.
Red hot anger pulsed through her veins as she turned on her heel and jabbed him in the chest with her forefinger.
“I know I said I was okay with just being friends. But I was wrong. I’m not okay with that. I like you, a lot, and I want more. And I think you know that. So it isn’t fair that you keep stringing me along, acting all nice and sweet and shit, and then you turn around and keep me at arm’s length. You’re hiding something, and it makes me feel like I’m not good enough for you to tell me. Like you don’t trust me or something. I’m not some… toy that you can play with when you’re bored. I’m a person with feelings.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He grabbed her by the shoulders to keep her from turning back around. “I know. I want to tell you everything.” His voice broke as he stared at her with pleading eyes.
“You already said that! You told me you’d tell me everything. And you didn’t. I’ve learned my lesson. Twice now. I’m not good enough for Todd and I’m not good enough for you. Now just let me leave!” her voice trailed off at the end, losing fire and passion as she struggled against his grip on her shoulders. The anger was subsiding and making way for the weight and pain of what she’d just admitted.
Jason’s mouth fell open at her words and he let her go. She yanked open the door and jumped inside. He stood frozen in place, looking like he’d just been slapped, as she cranked the engine.
He jumped at the click of her seatbelt. “Wait! Please! I’ll tell you everything! Right now. Please just let me explain.” His eyes were wild with something Addie couldn’t quite place. Fear? That didn’t make sense.
A shiver ran down Addie’s spine. She’d never seen his eyes look like that — brighter and greener than she’d ever seen. He looked almost… feral. Strangely, she wasn’t scared at all, though she probably should have been. He was the one with fear in his eyes.
“I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t tell you.” He said low.
Well, that wasn’t what she was expecting. She expected denial, or possibly an excuse for being secretive. Addie frowned and stared at her knuckles gripping the steering wheel.
“I can’t. I just can’t anymore.” She finally replied. She closed her eyes tight, trying to keep the tears at bay. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. Her mind was telling her to leave, but for some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to put the car in reverse.
And then Jason’s lips crashed into hers.
Her eyes flew open, and despite her mind yelling for her to push him away, her lips took over and she kissed him back.
Soft and sweet. Long and slow. No tongue, no pushing for more. His hand caressed her cheek, his thumb wiping just under her eye to catch the moisture that had formed there. He smelled like pine and bonfire and masculine soap and… fur?
Sure, it was a little awkward, with her sitting in the car and him scrunching half his tall frame over in order to reach her through the car window. But it was an actual kiss. Not a kiss on the forehead, like at the bar, or on the cheek, like when she first met his pack.
There was no mistaking this kiss as a friendly kiss. It finally confirmed that he wanted what she did. Friends didn’t kiss each other like this.
He pulled away slowly, his eyes desperately searching her face.
She sighed and leaned back against the headrest. Her resolve to leave was wavering. “Okay. Just tell me so I can go home.”
He nodded but didn’t take his eyes off her as she cut the engine. As he backed away from the car to give her space, she saw the hope in his eyes.
“But you have to answer all my questions.” She quickly added, and then gave him the sternest look she could muster. “All of them.”
He enthusiastically nodded and the relief in the air was palpable.
He held out his hand to help her out of the car, but she ignored it and got out herself. She defiantly walked up to his front door without looking back at him. She wanted him to know that she was still here as a favor to him, not because she needed to stay.
He opened the front door then motioned for her to sit on the couch. She did, and he switched on the lamp on the side table and wordlessly stepped into his bedroom.
He came back after a few moments and sat down on the other end of the couch, giving her plenty of space. He avoided eye contact as he handed her a photo. As she reached for it, her heart rate picked up and she wondered if she really wanted to know his secret. What if it was really bad? What if she couldn’t look at him the same?
She looked down at the photo in her lap. It was an old Polaroid photo of a wolf and a wolf puppy. Recognition flashed across her face. “This is your tattoo.” She said, half a statement and half a question.
He nodded. “It’s me and my mom.” She knew that because he’d said as much under the waterfall. She waited for him to explain the symbolism, because clearly there had to be something else.
He still wouldn’t look up at her. He let out a sigh, then added “I’m part wolf.”
A few moments passed as she just stared at him, and then she realized that was the end of his sentence. He meant it literally.
“I know how it sounds to a human. You think I’m crazy. But I’m telling you the truth. I’m a wolf shifter. I can turn into a wolf.”
Well, he was right. She did think he was crazy. But she could tell he wasn’t lying. He really did believe he was a wolf shifter, whatever that meant. She frowned, then looked back down at the photo.
The little wolf did share a resemblance to Jason. They both had the same eyes, and the color of the wolf’s fur matched Jason’s hair. How odd that the wolf resembled Jason so much.
And if he was crazy, then all his friends—um, pack mates—were too. Maybe living up here alone in a remote part of the mountains had slowly driven them insane. But they all seemed so normal and friendly.
And then all the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place. The weird phrasing him and his friends used. Pack. Pups. Howling like wolves.
Their bright, glo
wing eyes.
His scent.
The hair on her arms stood up and her heart was practically beating out of her chest. It was as if her body was suddenly aware it was in the presence of something dark and supernatural. Years of human evolution triggered survival instincts screaming at her to run.
But her mind was surprisingly quiet. The werewolf in front of her — or wolf shifter, as he’d put it — was Jason. If it had been a stranger, she would have run away screaming, but he wasn’t a stranger. If he wanted to hurt her or eat her, then he probably would have already done so.
She looked up to see Jason with his head in his hands.
“I don’t think you’re crazy. I believe you.” She whispered.
He leaned back against the couch and crossed his arms, then looked at the ceiling. Anywhere but at her.
He cleared his throat. “I understand if you want to leave. I’m a monster and you deserve someone better.” His voice cracked. “I just want you to know that what you said out there is wrong. You’re more than enough for me. You’re perfect. Todd is an asshole who doesn’t know what he’s lost. I never hid my wolf from you because I wasn’t interested in you or I thought you’re not worthy. I was scared you’d run away.”
They sat there for a moment in silence, Addie’s heart breaking for Jason. She tried to process what she just learned. Despite what he said, he wasn’t a monster, but she didn’t know anything about wolf shifters. She’d heard fairy tales about werewolves, but like everyone else, she assumed they weren’t real. She had so many questions.
“Are you going to hurt me?”
“No. Never. I would never hurt you.” He answered immediately and with such affirmation that any doubt she had vanished.
Addie scooted closer to him and gently put her hand on his shoulder. He cringed at the touch, then leaned it to it slightly.
“Then I’m not scared. I won’t run away.”
All anger she’d had was gone. Now she understood why he was keeping this secret from her. She couldn’t imagine how much pressure he was under, living life and keeping a secret like… this. It must be an extremely lonely existence. Now she understood why his pack was so close. They only had each other.
She looked back down at the photo in her hand.
“Your mother was beautiful.”
“She was beautiful in her human form too. She would have loved you.”
“What happened to her?”
“My father killed her.”
“Oh…” Addie’s mouth dropped. She couldn’t hide her surprise, and she was curious how something like that could happen, but she didn’t want to push him any further. He continued on anyway, not needing her encouragement to continue.
“If you’re still interested in me, then I want to tell you everything now. So you can decide if you want to stay on this roller coaster or hop off now.”
To Addie, it wasn’t even a question she needed to consider. “Of course I’m still interested.”
He kissed her hand and gave her a weak smile. It didn’t reach his eyes, and Addie wanted nothing more than to kiss away his pain. But she knew that wouldn’t really fix anything. The best thing she could do was listen.
“My father was alpha of our pack. He was a decent alpha, but he was a bad husband and father. He had a temper, and he hit me and Ma all the time. I grew up scared. The rest of the pack knew, but they didn’t say anything. He was alpha, and they didn’t want to start any trouble.
“Him and Ma would fight all the time. I’m lucky I had Ma around because she took the brunt of his anger so I didn’t have to. And she’d always stick up to him when he’d hit me, even though she knew the consequences. Ma would send me over to my uncle’s house to get me out of the way, to protect me. Tanner was always there. We’d sit in his room and he would try to distract me. Ma was strong and her wolf was strong, but she couldn’t match my father’s alpha wolf.
“Well one day, I was probably about ten, the arguing died down and I went back home the next morning. And Ma wasn’t there. It was just my father at the kitchen table, drinking coffee like nothing had happened. I asked where Ma was, and he told me not to ask again. And I didn’t, because I can guess, and because I’m not sure I want to know the details.”
Addie was stunned. Never in a million years would she have ever imagined that Jason had grown up like that. How had he managed to become the man he was today? He was kind, compassionate, thoughtful, patient… everything his father wasn’t. Her heart broke for his past. She wanted desperately to fix it. To make him feel better.
She touched his arm. “I’m so so sorry.”
“It’s okay. He got what he deserved in the end. As soon as we were old enough, me and Tanner challenged him for alpha and we put him down. It’s in my blood to be alpha, but I didn’t want to take that title. I was scared I would turn into my father. I’m still scared. So Tanner became alpha in my place.”
“I could tell Tanner was important in your group.” She said, quietly.
Jason shrugged. “He’s a good alpha. But the pack law that I told you about under the waterfall? The one that says wolf shifters and humans can’t mate? Only the alpha can change pack laws.”
Addie frowned. “What does that mean for us?”
“We can still be together, but I won’t be able to claim you officially. And you won’t be part of the pack.” He let out a deep breath.
Addie paused, because he seemed to think that was a bad thing, but it didn’t sound all that terrible to her. Sure, if their relationship grew, it would be nice to be “claimed” by him, whatever that meant. And of course she’d like to officially be part of the pack if her and Jason were ever that serious. But it beat remaining as strictly friends.
“Does mate mean something different for wolf shifters?”
“It’s kind of like a husband or wife, in human words. But more… serious. It’s different for shifters. We love unconditionally if we find a mate, and we mate for life. I don’t want to put any pressure on you though.”
They sat in silence for a moment. She didn’t know what to think. A half hour ago, she wasn’t sure that Jason liked her in that way. And now she’d just learned that he not only returned her feelings but also felt stronger than she did. She didn’t think it was possible.
She was also flattered that he was thinking so far ahead. Marriage and… being mates? She had only been wanting to date him. That kind of commitment hadn’t even crossed her mind.
And apparently wolf shifters didn’t date… they just jumped right in whole-heartedly. She smiled to herself because it was kind of romantic.
And she couldn’t deny that she already felt a stronger connection to him than she had with any of her previous partners. Maybe there was something magical about wolf shifters.
Jason rested his hand on her knee and smiled at her. Heat flooded her middle at his touch, and she wished his hand had landed a little higher up her thigh. Now that she knew his secret and the extent of his feelings, something had changed between them. She had always thought he was attractive, it was hard not to. Any red-blooded woman would feel the same. But now she knew the man inside him better, and that made him even more attractive.
“I know Tanner better than anyone else. I think he’ll eventually change the law. It just might not be soon.”
He rubbed his thumb around her knee thoughtfully, and the skin on skin contact felt electric. Addie bit her lip and squeezed her thighs closer together.
“I’m glad you told me. And I understand why you didn’t tell me before. You’re really strong and brave, having to carry this secret throughout life.”
“I wasn’t brave enough to tell anyone before I met you. I just couldn’t let you go.”
Addie’s heart melted. She bumped his shoulder with hers. “Well just so you know, I think it’s cool that you change into a wolf.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “When do you do it?”
He laughed and shrugged. “Whenever I feel like it. Every couple d
ays usually.”
They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, and Addie was okay with it. She needed the opportunity to process everything.
“You said you’d never hurt me.” She said.
“I meant it too.”
“Then can I see your wolf?”
He let out a surprised chuckle and shifted, a little uncomfortable. “You sure do have a lot of questions.”
“You said you’d answer all of them.” She reminded him, cocking her eyebrow.
“And I will. But you say you’re not scared now, but you might be if you saw him.” He said it ominously and Addie shivered.
“Okay, but I want to see him someday.”
“Someday.” He looked at her, thumb still drawing lazy circles around her knee. His touch was driving her crazy.
She leaned closer into him and he let his hand trail up from her knee to her mid-thigh. He looked her in the eye as she looked down at his lips. And then he kissed her again.
Not like in the car. That had been a desperate kiss, one that he was trying to make count, in case it was their last. That kiss was him begging her to stay and listen to him.
This one was different. It was passionate. Three soft, slow smacks, then a longer, deeper kiss as his tongue brushed against her lips, demanding to explore her mouth. She parted her lips as he cupped her neck.
She was lost in his kiss. In his touch.
He pulled away slowly, leaving Addie’s mind spinning. “I’ve been thinking about this since that night at Harvey’s. Since we kissed at the end of the night.” His voice was breathless.
“Me too.” She ran her hands over his chest over his tee shirt and he groaned. In one swift motion, he pulled her on his lap, reminding her that he was bigger and stronger than her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and went in for more kisses.
He pulled away, shaking his head. “Let me lead.”
She nodded in agreement, not really caring how they proceeded as long as they just kept going. She straddled his lap as he placed soft kisses down her neck, over her collarbone, and then dangerously close to the tops of her breasts.
Greystone Alpha Page 6