I suppose nobody wants love advice from the girl with no experience. It’s logical reasoning, I suppose. But even in my inexperience I can tell a dreadful pairing when I see one and that’s exactly what this is turning out to be. Erika refuses to hear me out and insists that Charley understands her in a way that no one else does. Which is utter rubbish, but when she has her mind fixed on an idea, I know better than to try and convince her otherwise. To her, Charley is an angel and all I can do is pray for her daily.
To be honest, it isn’t that Charley is a bad guy, he’s just so unbelievably boring. Far too boring for Erika who is about as exciting as a bag of lit firecrackers.
She could do much better.
So could Kace.
I can’t seem to get him out of my head today. It’s starting to bug me.
Should I try to talk to him again?
I get the feeling that a second attempt at a civilized conversation in less than 24 hours wouldn’t go so well. He basically told me that my very existence pisses him off. There are no lines to read between there, he spelt it out to me, but I keep hearing an undertone of something else in his words.
Maybe Erika is right. Maybe I just have the need to see good even where it doesn’t exist.
But it exists in Kace...I know it does because I know he wasn’t always this person.
As I approach the last step leading to the main door of the school, I see Kace crossing the schoolyard in quite a hurry.
I look at my Hyundai sitting in the parking lot and for a quick second I consider offering him a ride home as an apology. A peace offering, perhaps. Problem is, I have no idea where he lives and he’s moving way too quickly anyhow.
Before I fully realize what I’m doing, I’m moving just as quickly as he is, trailing him to God knows where.
I’ve never stalked anyone before, and I have no idea why, of all the people in the world, I’m deciding to stalk the school’s biggest degenerate.
What are you doing, Janey? I groan to myself as I try to keep up with his long strides while staying out of sight.
If my sister, Cori, could see me now, I think she’d be proud, if not slightly traumatized by the extent of my impulsiveness. This is the most out of character nonsense I’ve ever done in all the eighteen years of my life.
Kace stops walking abruptly and I start frantically looking around for a bush to duck behind. A nearby dumpster provides the cover I need, and I try not to throw up in my mouth at the thought that I’m actually this close to someone else’s trash.
Yeah, Cori would definitely get a kick out of this.
The cat and mouse stalking comes to a stop at the 15th Street Stanton MFL bus terminal and I cringe at the idea of getting aboard this SEPTA death trap.
Why is he here? And, more importantly, why am I here?
Yes Janey, why exactly are you here?
Kace boards the bus and I hop on before I can talk myself out of what I can already tell is a really bad idea. Pulling on my hoodie, I hide my face and slip into what must be the only available seat on this packed bus. When the door closes, I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
You’ve come this far Janey, see it through. I coach myself and try to keep my eyes fixed on the back of Kace’s head which becomes increasingly difficult to do, the further we get on this bus ride.
I’ve lost count of the number of stops that we’ve made, and I’m appalled at the fact that this bus is still boarding. It was already packed to the brim three stops ago and everybody stinks. I can taste the man beside me in the back of my throat and I try not to draw too much attention to myself coughing. The holes in the road start becoming craters the further we go, and I silently will Kace to get the heck off this bus!
When the streetlights start coming on, I can feel my palms getting sweaty. I should probably just get off the bus now and catch another one home, except I have no idea where I am.
I’ve never been this far south...or is it north? I have no clue.
A woman with a screaming baby boards the bus, and I start to die a little on the inside. Babies are cute when they’re quiet, but not on a bus going deeper into the anus of Philly.
Where the heck am I?!
From the corner of my eye, I can see the mom trying to quiet the baby and hang onto the railing at the same time. I consider giving up my seat, but Kace beats me to it, and I’m floored.
I watch as he taps on her hip and motions to the space he left empty. She smiles kindly and nods as he trades places with her and makes funny faces at the baby who starts to quiet down for the first time since it got on the bus.
Something inside me warms and I can’t get rid of the smile forming on my lips. Kace Da’Costa has a heart, ladies and gentlemen. I have proof, though I seriously doubt he’d ever confess to something like that. It would ruin that brand new, stone-cold reputation that he’s been working so hard to perfect.
The bus stops for the one-hundredth time and finally, I see Kace shuffle to the front. This is it. This is our stop.
I start squeezing my way from the back to the front.
“Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me. Coming through.”
I catch a glimpse of the faces as I pass and there’s an unidentifiable blank stare that stirs up something inside me. It’s like I’m looking into the faces of people who can see through me. As though they can tell that I do not belong here and when I hit the last step, I’m grateful to be off the bus.
My gratitude lasts for only a second, as I start to scan the area. Holy Moses. I don’t think we’re in America anymore. I don’t know where this is, but I know it should be condemned.
I’m hit by everything all at once and its sensory overload from the pits of hell. There is garbage everywhere, and I catch a whiff of something dead rotting close by.
I can feel my gag reflex coming into play and I start frantically trying to catch even a slight breath of fresh air. The stab of stale urine is overshadowed only by the stench of what I imagine to be human feces. Who poops in the street? Who does that?
My mind races, trying desperately to catch up with the nonsense swarming around me. I don’t have to look far to see my answer. Mixed into the trash on the road is a healthy smattering of zombies sporting dead stares and patchy sore skin all over their bodies. There’s a woman close by who looks like she’s rotting away, and I can feel bile rising up in my mouth.
Not in the far distance, another man is struggling to stand up straight and there’s a woman bent over at the waist, sleeping.
“Oh my God. I’m actually in hell,” I whisper.
Janey Bradshaw you are going to die tonight. You are going to die and nobody is going to find your body. I mentally kick myself for being this stupid.
Why on earth did Kace stop the bus here of all places?
From the three seconds I’ve been here, I can already tell there’s nothing to experience here other than death, drugs and despair. I look around with what I’m sure is a wild, frantic look on my face, trying to find at least one person that looks sober enough to ask for directions, since Kace has seemingly vanished.
My legs wobble like Jello beneath me as I struggle to take a small step towards the group of people closest to me. My bladder feels like it’s barely holding on by a thread and my throat is immensely dry.
‘This is where rich entitled, inquisitive brunettes come to die,’ I think to myself, trying and failing to calm down.
Jesus! I can’t seem to stop shaking!
My hoodie falls off my head as I walk over to someone who looks sober enough to string sentences together and I feel a crisp cold breeze bite against my neck.
“E...Excuse m..me.” The words are fighting to get past my flailing heart and scramble out of my dry mouth. I try again and it’s the same broken plea.
The redhead standing in front of me licks his lips seductively, then smiles, baring negative five teeth at me. I think I’m going to puke right here. Right now.
Next person. Move on to the next person, Janey. Get out before someo
ne gets to you. There will be nothing left of you.
Just get out.
I drag my feet over to the next person, suddenly feeling guilty for having a car, a trust fund and great parents...well a great dad, anyway.
I cross a building full of vagrants before I see a lady who looks like she could give me directions out of this mess. My legs feel no stronger as I timidly make my way over to her.
Before I can get to her, I feel a cold hand slip around my mouth and another around my torso, pulling me into the dark, cold alleyway between the two buildings. My lungs are on fire as I scream into the fingers wrapped tightly around my mouth. My heart is in my mouth and I think I’m going to blackout.
I was right...I’m going to die tonight.
I don’t want to die!
3
Kace
I wasn’t sure I’d make it, but somehow, despite detention, the traffic and all that other Janey bullshit, I managed to get back to Kensington a few minutes before curfew. And not a minute too soon either because I’ve been paranoid ever since leaving that prison they call school. I was sure there was someone following me. Lucas perhaps.
I kept waiting for him or one of his cronies to try and jump me, but they never did. Now that we’re back on D’C territory, I’m sure he won’t, but I still need to move my ass and get home and I need to do it quick.
Abby should be home already. As much as it pains me, I’ve been explaining to her what a curfew is ever since she learned to talk, so I know she gets it. Amy should be there but she’s unreliable as fuck, so who knows.
As I step off the bus and onto the concrete sidewalk, the feeling returns. Lucas wouldn’t be so bold, would he?
Cain may be an asshole to me but I’m still his little brother. Lucas should know better than to trail me all the way here, onto our territory.
Still, I slide behind a building to scope out the territory before I head home. Everything looks the way it always does, like sadness wrapped up in a ball of lost dreams. Everything except for one thing.
There’s someone in well-fitted jeans overalls, white designer sneakers and a powder blue hoodie. Someone who seems more than just a little out of place. The outline says it’s a female and I can tell she’s lost.
Too bad for her. This is not a great place to get lost, sweetie, and not a great time either.
I look away and keep scanning. No Lucas.
Still, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’m being trailed, and my eyes go back to little miss lost in the powder blue.
She looks like she’s going to be sick and I chuckle at her misfortune. Poor girl. I wonder how long it’ll take before she too blends into the backdrop of the street, with her hair messed up and her light snuffed out. I give her a week, three weeks tops. Maybe I should volunteer to show her around. She’s a fragile-looking little thing from where I’m standing, but there’s something captivating about her even though she’s not doing much more than being visibly terrified by the scene around her.
I can tell she comes from money, even from here. And if I can tell, I know that every other shark swimming in these waters can smell it too and they’re gonna enjoy ripping her sweet ass apart.
I start scanning around again and I catch a sudden movement across the road, but it’s not Lucas and it’s not heading my way. My instincts are usually right about these things, but I guess I’m too wound up to think clearly.
Once again, my eyes find their way back to the girl standing on the side of the road. There’s something familiar about her and every time I look away, I find my way back to her.
My breath stops when her hoodie falls, revealing shiny brown hair.
“Oh, fuck,” I groan.
I don’t need to see her face to know it’s Janey Bradshaw. What the fuck is she doing here? Did she follow me? Obviously she followed me, but why?
Shit Janey, what the fuck?
Today?
It had to be today?
She’s really starting to be a pain in my ass and I’m heading her way, quickly weaving in between buildings before I can stop myself.
Why do I need to save her from herself? I didn’t invite her here. She trailed me.
I chuckle at the thought of Janey riding the bus all the way here. I would have loved to see her face as she left the comfort of upper Philly and came down to where the rest of us live.
She looks like she’s about to start talking to people. She’s clearly trying to get herself killed. That would be the easiest way to do it.
My strides get longer and faster and I grab her before she can utter another word.
I can feel the fear oozing out of her as I tighten my fingers over her lips and hold her body firmly against mine. It has a strange stench to it, and I can’t understand the comfort I feel from knowing that once I’ve gotten to her, no one else can.
“Janey, it’s Kace. I’m going to let go of your mouth, but you have to stop screaming. Do you understand?”
She’s shaking in my arms and I know she heard me, but I need to know that she understands. I can’t have her drawing any unnecessary attention to us.
“Nod if you heard me.”
Her response is slow, but she nods.
“Are you going to stop screaming?” I ask her in the same tone I take with Abby and she shakes her head the same way Abby would. Her lips feel soft against my fingers and I wonder what kind of lip gloss she uses to get them like that. Because now is obviously the perfect time to be thinking about shit like that.
I slowly release my fingers and she spins around and throws her arms around me, pushing me against the wall. Her hug is unexpected and I stand there in the piss-stained alley of Kensington street with the posh Janey Bradshaw wrapping her hands around my neck.
Who the fuck would have thought?
“Let go of me,” I grunt.
The moment is over, and she needs to get out of here.
She steps back and looks at me and only then do I realize that her face is stained with tears. She’s lucky it was me who grabbed her, or she’d really have a reason to cry.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask her sternly.
Her words come out as a jumble and all I catch are “sorry”, “you” and “help”.
“Janey.” She’s still crying too hard to answer. “Janey. Stop crying.” I can tell she wants to, but she can’t seem to find the ‘off’ switch.
“Hey,” I flick her forehead, and she hiccups but the waterworks start toning down. “I don’t care why you followed me here. I just need you to leave. You need to leave now, do you understand?”
Her bottom lip starts to tremble again, and I sense that she’s about to start crying again.
Ah, geez.
“Do you know how to get home from here?”
Her pale skin blooms bright red and I know the answer is no. I really don’t have time for this shit.
“Put your hair into a ponytail now.”
Her fingers tremble but she doesn’t protest. I zip open her sweater and start adjusting her bra, pulling her boobs up so they’re all shining and plump and shit. She swats my hands away from her very inviting bosom and I look at her sternly. Reluctantly, her hands fall slowly to her side and I keep adjusting her clothes, trying to make a hoe out of a woman with not one drop of hoe blood in her.
“This will do,” I grumble, looking her over.
Her breasts sit higher up on her chest and her makeup looks smudged from all the crying.
“Follow me. Shut up. Don’t speak. To anyone. Ever. Understood?”
She nods at me and it’s a relief. I don’t have the time to debate with her.
I grab her wrist and she obediently walks behind me as I quickly weave through the junkies on the road and head home.
“Sit here,” I put her into the hallway once we arrive and brusquely remind her not to speak to anyone.
I run up to Abby’s room and check to make sure she’s already tucked in. Good. I suppose Amy came by after all. That’s one less toddle
r I have to worry about tonight.
I jog down the steps two at a time and glance over to make sure that Janey is still where I left her before I disappear into Gabriel’s den.
“You took your time getting here,” he grunts, barely glancing up at me, as he carefully weighs his latest batch of Fentanyl.
“Where’s Cain?” I ask.
“He had somethin’ to take care of, so he left.”
“Good. It’s you I want anyway.”
Gabe’s eyebrow goes up and he looks at me with both eyes for the first time since I entered the room. “What do you want?”
“I need a huge favor.”
“No,” he grunts before going back to weighing his stash.
“I got a bitch in the hallway that I need to handle,” I say.
The words taste like nails coming out of my mouth, but they do the trick, and I know I have his full attention. He leans back into his chair and lets out a loud laugh.
“I don’t believe you.”
“She’s in the hallway. If you don’t believe me, go check.”
He stops laughing immediately. “You fuckin crazy bro? You brought her here?”
“Nah. She tailed me here, begging me to fuck her.”
Gabriel laughs again. But then he stands and dusts his hands off on his shirt. “I gotta see this crazy chick.”
I turn and lead him out the door to Janey sitting quietly in the hall. Probably the most lady-like tramp I’ve ever seen.
She smiles up awkwardly at me and I can see Gabriel taking a nice long look at her. Knowing Janey, she’s seconds away from standing and offering him a handshake. That wouldn’t go over well. In fact, I’m already not liking the way Gabe’s looking at her. A primal possessiveness that I’d never experienced in my life overtakes me and I walk over to her and pull her up out of the old sofa and claim her mouth. It’s the only thing I can think of to get Gabriel to believe me. Her lips are soft and whatever resentment I might have toward her, I don’t quite feel it right now when she’s this close to me.
When I can hear Gabe chuckling behind me, I know he’s bought my lie. Which means that I have no reason to continue kissing Janey. But for some reason, her mouth seems a lot easier to tackle than reality. Slowly, I part her lips and dip my tongue into the warmth of her mouth.
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