“I’m happy you find me funny,” she hisses, clearly not buying into any part of the humor.
When I don’t stop laughing immediately, she starts to storm off. I grab her wrist as she passes me and spin her around, pulling her to me. I can almost feel the thumps of her heart when I reach down and rest my hand on the back of her neck and tilt her head upwards before claiming her mouth. I bite and suck her bottom lip, giving her very little chance to catch her breath.
“Is that why you were upset with me? Because I called you my friend?”
She blushes as she nods and I hug her tightly.
I shake my head. “Don’t do that again, do you understand me? I’m not patient enough to keep this up. If you have a problem, if I say or do something that bothers you, you’re an adult. Use your words, okay?”
I glance down at her to see a tear tracking down her cheek. Ah shit.
“What did I do now?” I ask softly, but she tightens her arms around me.
“I thought you changed your mind about us,” she whispers.
When she peeks up at me I see just how vulnerable she really is. I didn’t sign up for this much responsibility, but I’m the first guy she’s ever let into her heart or her body and I have to appreciate that this is a big deal for her.
Brushing the tear away with the back of my hand, I move closer until I’ve trapped Janey’s lips between my teeth, nibbling softly before kissing it all better. Her tongue dances across mine, her heartbeat picks up pace as I press her back into the wall, wanting to taste much more than her lips.
“Does this feel like I’ve changed my mind?” I whisper and I feel a smile spread across her lips.
29
Janey
I feel like a whole new woman as I walk into the auditorium. All the sour has been removed from my day, replaced with the taste of Kace on my lips. It makes approaching this fundraiser feel a thousand times better. Wipes all the nerves away. Replaces them with something that feels like hope and chance and…the fact that Kace will be showing up when we honor Bubba makes it all the better, too.
I spot Sam, but he wisely stays at the opposite end of the room from me. We haven’t spoken since the whole slut incident, but I’m pretty sure I want nothing to do with him. And I’d be a fool if I didn’t think the feeling was mutual.
“Thank you all for coming,” I speak into the microphone and the feedback causes me to back up a step. I quickly scan the room, my eyes searching the crowd to see just who showed up. The first person I spot is Erika. She’s sitting by the door, collecting tickets as the room fills up.
My lone ranger is here, too. He’s leaning against the wall at the back and I smile. I’m happy he came, though I’m bummed that I can’t publicly let him know just how much.
“Good evening,” I try again and we’re good to go. “Thank you all for coming. Don’t worry, I’m not the main event. I’ll be off this stage in just a second and you can get down to the music and the mingling.” There’s a hoot from the crowd, and I smile. “Before we start, there is something very important that we need to address.” I glance towards the staff section and see Mrs. Jordan looking up at me approvingly. The lights dim and the overhead wall projector comes on with yearbook photos of Bubba from freshman year all the way up until his last photo, courtesy of Kace.
“As I’m sure most of you are now aware, we recently suffered a great loss as a student body. Many of you here were friends with Bubba and I know there are no words that can come close to making his death less painful. However, I want you to know that you aren’t alone. And Bubba, if he’s looking down on us, I want you to know that you’re still in our hearts and in our minds. So if we could all just take a moment of silence to pay our respects, that would be great.”
A hush falls over the auditorium and I try to find Kace, but the spot he was in before is now empty. My eyes scan the crowds, hardly able to make out much in the dim lighting. After a few minutes, the lights come on again and the painting is unveiled.
“This painting, titled The Prayer was donated to the school as a tribute to Bubba and it will stay on the wall for the rest of our senior year. We have already started a memorial shrine beneath it. Feel free to add cards, flowers, or whatever you want to express condolences to his friends and family.”
Again, my eyes scan the crowd. This time, they aren’t searching Kace out, but they fall on him nonetheless. He’s standing beside Lucas and, even from here, it’s easy to spot the dark and ominous expression on his face.
“Thank you all for coming out and for paying your respects. Now, I’ll hand things over to the MC who will kick off tonight’s event.”
There’s a round of applause as I exit the stage and head to the door to sit beside Erika. That’s not where I want to be, but I know better than to rush to Kace’s side. He’s warned me about Lucas and what it could mean if he were to catch us together. We’re a secret as far as everyone is concerned, but deep in my gut, I can’t shake the feeling that right now is not a good time follow Kace’s rules.
“What’s wrong?” Erika asks, stealing me away from my thoughts. I’m not about to tell Erika anything Kace related. I don’t want to make a hypocrite out of her, and even more than that, I don’t want to have to defend him to her.
Brushing Erika’s comment to the side, I put on a happier face, smiling and promising her that I’m just fine. Thankfully, she doesn’t pry. In no time, her attention is back to the stage.
I glance over at Kace to see that he’s now standing by himself again. His face is still stone cold and I’m pissed at Lucas for ruining what was supposed to be a beautiful moment; the celebration of life, the mourning of a death that could have gone forgotten. That’s where my mind is at when Kace catches my eye for a millisecond before he turns away and steps through the door.
Everything in me knows I shouldn’t go after him. That when Kace wants his space, I should allow him to have it. Despite all that, my feet don’t hesitate to carry me away from Erika and through the bold front doors where Kace is nowhere to be seen.
My feet push faster, my mind spinning as I exit the building and step into the open air. There’s a small group of guys in the parking lot and I’m about to turn away when one of their faces screams recognition at me. Lucas. It takes me a little longer to identify the other guys and even then, I’m not sure.
Didn’t Kace say that the families don’t get along? Then what exactly am I looking at here?
I slip back inside and storm through the corridor, clumsily running back to the hall. Looking and searching and not trying to quell the thoughts pounding through my mind right now. Where the hell is Kace?
Seriously, where the hell is Kace?
I’m out of the hallway again and rushing toward the bathroom. I’m two point five seconds from bursting inside, consequences be damned, when I hit firm muscle and my body comes to a halt. Kace’s hands grip my shoulders as concern and confusion swirl in his eyes.
“Janey-” he starts to say, but he’s barely able to get another word out before my lips part.
“I know what you said about the rules and about me being careful and whatever, but there’s something going on outside that’s probably nothing, but -”
His grip on my shoulders tighten. “Slow down,” he responds, and I shake my head.
“No, you need to hurry up,” I insist, gripping his hand in an attempt to drag him behind me. But Kace is either made of steel or made of steel.
I turn toward him on a sigh. “You said your families don’t mix right? Yours and Lucas’? You guys aren’t friends or whatever?”
“What?”
“Jesus,” I groan, “Come on. Roof. You need to see this.”
This time, I don’t wait for him to comply. I’m barreling down the hallway and taking my steps two at a time as I climb toward the rooftop. When we’ve burst through the doors and stepped into the light, the scene before us is nowhere near as dramatic as it was when I’d first stumbled upon it. The group of guys in the parking lot is
smaller and there’s a car driving off.
“Darn it,” I groan, but when I turn to face Kace, I can tell that he’s seen more than enough.
“Who else was out here?” he asks.
“Well I’m not 100% sure. That’s why I wanted you to see for yourself.”
“Something tells me you know exactly what and who you saw.”
“It’s the same guy I saw that night I came to Kensington. The one who loaned you the bike.”
His face is unreadable and I stand anxiously waiting for him to say something. Anything.
“Gabriel?” he looks dazed, maybe even confused. Certainly more confused than he looked when I’d bumped into him outside of the bathroom.
“Who is he? I figured if you’d go to him for help, then he shouldn’t be talking to Lucas. Who is he, Kace?” I ask, nervously biting my lip. “Who is Gabriel?”
“He’s my brother. Second in command. And you’re right, Janey. He shouldn’t be here. And he sure as shit shouldn’t be talking to Lucas.”
30
Kace
Nothing about this should make any sense, except, the more I think about it, the more everything about it does.
Gabriel is the fucking nark.
The reason I no longer have a home.
The reason I lost a brother.
The reason my family is too far down the shitter to bring back to life.
I shake my head, as though that’ll shake away the reality of what I saw. But no matter how often I bang my brain against the inside of my skull, there’s no erasing the image of Gabe’s car speeding out of the school’s parking lot.
That changes everything and it makes me feel no less than a fish out of water. I have no idea what to do with this information or even how to process it.
Why was he here? Besides the obvious fact that he came to meet with Lucas away from Cain’s overseeing eyes.
Did Lucas tell him that I’m back?
What does that mean now?
Is that what Lucas meant by, I’m next?
Fuck… I’m so confused.
There’s no one to tell. Bubba is gone.
Did Gabe do that?
Shit. Josh?
What is happening? How long has this been happening?
“Kace?”
I glance over at Janey. I can’t shake the feeling that she’s in a heck of a lot more danger than I thought. A heck of a lot more danger than either one of us can begin to image.
My mind bounces against the barrel of my mind, the worries echoing so loud it’s almost defeating. How many times has Lucas seen us together? Has he been watching when no one thinks he’s looking? We’ve been careful. Stayed away from each other. I’ve been mean to her, cruel to her. Deep down, I want to believe that Janey’s not on his fucking radar. But I’m paranoid. Maybe for a reason and maybe for no reason at all.
I turn to Janey, trying but failing to keep the fear out of my eyes. “Do you need to be here for the rest of this thing?” I ask and she shakes her head.
“Not if you need to leave.” She’s bent over backwards to put this thing on for Bubba. A part of me can’t help but feel guilty for even suggesting dragging her away from the memorial before it’s even halfway through. The point of the matter is, however, I’ve put her in the line of fire and I need to fucking get her out of it. No matter the inconvenience. No matter the consequence.
Without questioning my intentions, Janey is moving her feet again. She tells me that she needs to let Erika know she’s headed out of here. I wait back by the door, watching her like a hawk watches his prey. Every step, every move, every breath. I feel like I’m suffocating on caution. There are too many people here. Too many secrets. Too many enemies. To add my own fucking brother to that…
In less than two minutes, Janey’s back by my side. She doesn’t reach for my hand, though I know that she wants to. Not that that would have us looking any more or less guilty than we already do, rushing down the hallway together.
I put a hand in front of her once we’re by the front doors and step out into the open first, making sure the coast is clear. Confident that no one of importance is out here, I motion for her to follow behind me. So paranoid am I, that once I get to her car, I check the damn thing twice and then pop the trunk open before allowing her to get in.
The look in her eyes tells me she’s freaked out. The unsaid words on her lips bite back all the questions she needs to bombard me with. I know just how much damage biting back your thoughts can fuck you up and so, once we’re locked into our seatbelts, the doors closed at either side of us, I make sure she knows it’s okay to set her words free.
“I’m really fucking sorry,” I tell her. “I can already feel a shitstorm brewing and I have no idea what is happening or what’s going to happen. I don’t know what Lucas knows or if Lucas knows anything about us. But he’s approached you one too many times for my liking.”
Janey reaches across the middle console and takes my hand into hers, squeezing ever so gently. “I’m not afraid.”
“I don’t want you to have a reason to be afraid,” I tell her, “But you really have no clue how serious this could get.”
“Are you afraid?” she asks and I’m stomped. I don’t think that’s a question I’ve ever been asked. I also don’t think it’s a question she needs to ask, considering the fact that it’s written all over my fucking face.
“I’m afraid something will happen to you.”
“Is that all you’re afraid of?”
I nod and pull her hand to my lips, breathing in the scent of her before pressing my lips against hers.
“Good. Then I’m not afraid. I know you’ll figure something out and I’ll help you as much as you let me. I’m not leaving you to fight this on your own. So you figure out a way to keep me safe because I’m not going anywhere.”
I stew over those words for the entire ride back to her house. She’s either stupid, too brave, or both. Somehow, that works to terrify me even more.
She pulls into the garage and throws the car into park.
“You’re looking at me like I’m already hurt,” she says.
I shake my head. “I’m looking at you like I’m not fucking sure how we got to this point.”
“Some paths cross whether we expect them to or not. Maybe it’s fate.”
Fate. If only I believed in such things.
Repositioning myself in the seat, I drop my head back against the headrest and take in a deep, long breath. Fate would be fucked up for wanting her to end up with me. Fate would be fucked up for wanting her to get hurt because of me. And whatever happened to people making their own damn fates?
“The Art of War?” I ask her, “you have it?
She nods and unbuckles her seatbelt. The little crease in her brow tells me she’s not quite sure where I’m going with this. The genius in her, however, can’t fight the urge to ruffle through her extensive book collection.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” she says, and I watch as she disappears into the elevator and moves up and away from me. We’re like oil and milk, us two. But somehow, I think the mixture we create could be the makings of something beautiful. Barring Lucas. Barring Cain.
My mind spirals again.
It’s going to be a very long night.
I need to come up with a solid plan. Going to Cain directly isn’t an option. I know he’d never believe me. If I hadn’t seen the car for myself, I wouldn’t believe me either. Plus, Janey saw it too, so it’s not like I can convince myself that I’m imagining shit. The problem is, Cain does not trust me. Not even a little bit.
From the corner of my eye, I spot movement. My insides turn and then turn even more as the steady, smooth creak of the garage door whisks into my consciousness. The roof light in the car is on, removing any chance of me going unnoticed as another car pulls into the spot beside me.
When I look ahead, I see that Janey is just as fucking frozen as I am. She’s standing by the elevator door, book in hand and terror in her brow as
she watches the man I assume to be her father exit his vehicle and take one step after the other in her direction.
“Dad. You’re here,” she says nervously.
Mr. Bradshaw is a big enough man. Broad shoulder, over six foot in height and obviously pissed the fuck off if the look on his face as he turns around is anything to go by.
“Open your car, Janey,” he grunts, and she gapes at him.
“What? Why?” she squeaks. The part of Janey’s brain talking is the one without logic or common sense. The man beside her is staring daggers right through me. I’m guessing he’s not as okay with Janey having guys over as she thought he would be. Fair enough, I think, I’ll just be on my way. But there’s a part of me that can’t fucking stomach the thought of ditching Janey right now. Not that I’m convinced my presence will do anything to quell her dad’s anger.
“Open the damn car, Janey.”
Shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, Janey walks over and opens the door. It’s not the passenger seat that her father makes a move for, however. Instead, he pops open the back door. I step out of the car just in time to see him reach for my bag. As he drops it on the ground, there’s a thud of realization that something much, much bigger is going on here.
“Explain!” her father yells and she flinches.
“Dad I-”
“Sir-” I say, because this is my fucking battle to fight. And Janey, she’s not much for lying. Leave it up to her and she’ll walk us right into the lion’s den with blood dripping truth.
“Stay out of this!” Mr. Bradshaw growls at me and Janey whimpers.
“Daddy no. Don’t.”
His eyes shift to my bag. “Has he been living in your car?”
That’s very specific. Something is definitely off here. The O her lips form tells me Janey picks up on it too.
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