by Emme Rollins
I vaguely heard Melissa saying, "Just pretend I'm not here. No problem."
Normally, I wouldn't make out like a teenager in front of a friend, but Alex's kiss made me lose all control.
Alex broke our kiss, still staring at me, clearly as affected by it as I was. He shot a funny sheepish look to Melissa. "Sorry. I couldn't resist."
Melissa just shook her head, muttering, "You two."
Alex took us back behind stage to where the bands hung out before the shows. We met up with Nick who was changing his shirt. Melissa and I exchanged a discreet glance at each other when we got a peek at his toned body.
Nick nodded to us. "Tyler and Tommy went to catch up with Warning Shot. They're partying heavy already. I'll catch up with you later."
Nick left and Alex turned to us. "You want something to eat or drink? Or do you want to go find out what's going on with Warning Shot?"
Melissa turned to me. "Evie, let's go party with Warning Shot. But don't ditch me before the show, okay?"
I nodded my agreement. "Yeah. I've got the keys this time, so you better behave tonight."
Alex grabbed my hand and started leading us behind the maze of the backstage world. He led us to a lounge room of sorts where about twenty people were hanging out with Warning Shot. I must have hesitated slightly at the door because Alex squeezed my hand, almost to reassure me.
The loud music blasted my ears as my eyes swept around the room, noticing the girls, the alcohol and the drugs. I wasn't exactly shocked, but I had willfully ignored that this was Alex's world now. Tyler had a girl on his lap. Tommy was smoking pot. Someone was snorting lines. I think it was Warning Shot's lead guitarist.
Tommy spotted us and called us over. A few heads turned, but nobody seemed to pay us much attention. We headed over to Tommy, weaving through all the people crowded in the tight space. We passed by a girl sitting on a couch with two guys I didn't recognize. But the girl was Cassie from the other night. And she definitely remembered me.
Melissa made it to Tommy's side before us. She was already partying by the time we got there.
Tommy turned to me, "Hey, Evie-Lena. Glad you guys could make it out here."
I smiled. "Yeah, me too."
Alex leaned in to me. "Do you want something to drink? A drink, beer, or water?"
Not wanting to look lame, I opted for the beer even though I'd actually rather drink water. Alex went to the bar area to get our drinks.
I watched Tommy take a hit. "Is this what you do everyday?"
He nodded. "Pretty much. Unless we're stuck on the bus all day."
The thought depressed me. Alex's life was so different than my own. I had known it, but now that I was face to face with the reality of it, I couldn't deny it to myself. The fact that our worlds had overlapped even for a moment was a fluke. We really didn't belong together. And the thought had me feeling queasy.
When Alex came back, he must have seen my face. "Lena, are you okay? Do you want to leave? We can go someplace else."
I wanted to be alone with Alex more than anything. But for some stubborn reason I wanted to prove that I could fit in with his crowd, with his life. I'm not sure who I was trying to prove it to, him or myself, but it suddenly felt terribly important.
I took my beer from his hand and took a big gulp. "No way. Let's hang out."
Despite my uncertainty and insecurities, I began enjoying myself once I relaxed a bit. I ignored the excesses around me and just concentrated on having fun with Alex. Melissa and Tommy were hitting it off again and the four of us, plus Tyler, two other girls and Warning Shot's drummer were all in the far corner of the room having fun.
At least an hour later, Alex left to get one of another round of beers and ended up talking to someone across the room. I was pleasantly tipsy by now and marveling at the great time I was having. It reminded me of our college days.
Tommy had just pulled Melissa away from me and I was momentarily standing by myself when I heard her directly behind me. "I wouldn't get too comfortable around here."
I turned around, facing Cassie. "Were you talking to me?"
She smiled nicely, but I could see the fire shooting out of her eyes. "He'll forget about you just like he forgets about all the other girls once he leaves. When he's lonely, he'll turn to me."
Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut? Just because she had delivered a direct hit, didn't mean I had to fall for her nonsense. Unfortunately, backing down was something I rarely did.
"Funny, Alex said you were just some chick that stalked the bands."
Her eyes narrowed. I was expecting a vicious clawing at any moment. "Funny, Alex never complained before. He must have fucked me more than twenty times and never said a word."
I was getting that queasy feeling again. A feeling of panic and fear. That I was fooling myself into believing in something impossible.
Cassie face beamed triumphantly at my lack of response. She had won. More so than she knew.
Just in time to save me from mortal embarrassment, Mason Nash, the lead singer of Warning Shot, walked over and draped his arm casually around Cassie's neck. "Who's your friend, Cassie?"
She looked me over and shrugged, "No one." She shook of Mason's arm and walked away.
I stood awkwardly making small talk with a huge rock star for a few moments because I couldn't get Cassie's mocking words out of my head. I was pretty devastated. Alex finally made his way back to me with our beers, and pulled me onto his lap in empty spot on the couch.
His eyes were shining; he looked so happy. "Are you having a good time?"
I spotted Cassie across the room watching us. "Yes. This is really exciting. I was just talking to Mason Nash. It's like a different world."
Alex took a sip of beer. "I do this every damn night. I think sitting on the beach with you was more exciting. And what we did afterward."
The heated stare he was giving me had me tingling with awareness. My pussy was throbbing with desire and a tiny little piece of me knew that Cassie was still watching. I twisted in his lap and kissed him passionately. Intimately. A kiss that made promises of things to come. Wicked promises.
And while I was trying to turn Alex on with a scorching kiss, I ended up falling under my own spell. I lost touch with reality and grew dizzy with need, drowning in the sparks of energy that flared between us.
It was Tyler that broke up our blazing kiss. "Alex, man. We've gotta get going now."
The tour manager came and dragged Cold Fusion away to do their fan greetings and pre-show preparations. Alex handed Melissa and me off to a woman, Rosie, with instructions for her to take care of us. We would be sitting in a VIP area for the show and then Rosie would take us backstage as soon as Cold Fusion's set was over.
I grabbed a bottle of water and sat down with Melissa to wait for the show as we watched the general seating filling up. "So, how are things going with Tommy?"
Melissa put her feet up on the rail in front of us. "Great. That boy is really fun."
"Are you guys going to remain in touch?" I took a sip of my water.
Melissa laughed. "I doubt it. I mean- did you see all those girls hanging around? And that was just the pre-party. He'll forget me by tomorrow."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Yeah. You're probably right."
"Oh, Evie!" Melissa spun in the seat towards me. "I didn't mean it like that. Tommy and I were just fooling around, having fun. We both knew that. But you and Alex are different. You have a history together and I can tell he really likes you."
I shook my head sadly. "I'm in trouble, Melissa. I've fallen for him. And it's going to hurt like hell."
Melissa just groaned in response.
Chapter Seven
Cold Fusion's set flew by. We sat at a strange angle from the stage, but luckily on the same side that Alex played on. Alex looked completely at home on stage, whether he was jamming next to Nick or singing back up for Tyler. Twice, Alex sang lead. I loved watching him play his guitar in the spotlight while he wa
s singing. During my favorite Cold Fusion song, Alex let his guitar hang around his neck by the straps while he grabbed the microphone stand with two hands. He rocked the crowd and ended the song to thunderous applause.
As the set ended, my emotions were all over the place. My adrenaline was pumping, I was excited for him, proud of his talent, but intimidated at the same time. Rosie came back to get us and we headed back to Cold Fusion's backstage dressing area. The guys were still hyped up about their performance.
Tommy grabbed Melissa and spun her around. "How'd we do girls?"
"You guys absolutely killed it!" Melissa said exactly the right thing based on their responses.
Nick grabbed some beers from the refrigerator and passed them out. Alex took two and pulled me over to the couch. "We've got to help break down. I'll be busy for about an hour. The guys are all going out after to party with Warning Shot. I thought maybe we could just hang out here unless you want to go party with them."
It would be our last few hours together and I wanted to spend every last minute with him. Alone. "No. Here is good. Melissa will probably want to go out with them though."
Alex gave me a quick kiss. "Good answer. I'll see you soon."
He stood up and addressed the band. "Come on. Let's get our shit done."
The guys all grumbled but eventually headed out leaving Melissa and I sitting alone.
"I'm going to hang back with Alex while you go out and party with the guys. Is that okay with you?" I knew she would do it even if she didn't want to, but I was pretty sure it wasn't a tough assignment for her.
Melissa laughed. "No problem. I'll take one for the team. Just make sure you make good use of your time!"
My heart sunk a little. This was it. The last bit of time I had left with Alex. Melissa left me sitting with my dark thoughts as she used the bathroom to primp.
The band members all came back about 45 minutes later. Tommy threw his arm around Melissa. "You ready to have some fun?"
"Yeah. Let's go!" Melissa grabbed her purse, gave me a wink and then left with the band. No one made mention of the fact that Alex and I stayed behind.
Alex wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "I thought I'd give you a tour of my home away from home."
"What's your home away from home?" I wasn't sure what he meant.
"The tour bus."
I was curious to see where he spent all his time. "Yeah. I'd like to see it. Where is your real home anyway?"
He grabbed my hand and started leading me out of the room. "I share an apartment with Tyler in Texas."
Alex led me past the busy road crew, who were packing up and hauling boxes. Texas was so far away. It may as well have been on another planet. My mind was already rebelling against our inevitable parting later.
It sounded like Warning Shot's show was winding down. Alex took me behind the theatre to the large open lot filled with huge rigs and buses. His tour bus was pretty non-descript on the outside. I could have passed it hundreds of times on the highway and never glanced twice at it.
We climbed inside and Alex gave me a quick rundown. It was quick because there was not much to explain. There was seating at the front of the bus, a small kitchen area, and some entertainment equipment. Bunks lined both sides of the bus toward the middle section. Down past the bunks was a closed door.
Alex passed through the door into a casual lounge area. A decent sized flat-screen TV connected to a video game system was mounted on the wall. There was plenty of vinyl seating and two small tables.
Making a face, Alex said, "I know it's not much…"
"No, it's great. Except for the bunks. They're tiny." I couldn't believe that four guys lived in such tight quarters together for months on end.
Alex ran his hand through his hair. "Well, we all take turns and rotate back here. Tommy's been in here for the last couple weeks. These tables fold down and the chairs turn into a full-sized bed."
Now he was talking. "Really? Wow. Can I see?"
Alex laughed. "You don't fool me, Lena. I know what you want. I suppose I'll have to humor you."
I looked around for something to throw at him, but came up empty.
Alex started folding up the tables and arranging the cushions. I saw sheets stuck in the cracks of the couch. "Eew. I don't want to use those."
Rolling his eyes, Alex complained, "High maintenance."
He left the back room for a minute and came back with his guitar and a blanket from his bunk. I helped him spread the blanket on the bed and then sat in the middle. He sat on the edge of the bed and took out his guitar.
I laid back and closed my eyes as he started strumming. I didn't recognize the song he was playing, but it was beautiful. There was a melancholy sweetness to the melody that pulled at my already fragile emotions. I listened to the words as he sang.
Alex sang about the loneliness of being on the road - the sense of being surrounded by adoring people, but always being alone. Of endless miles rolling past with no finish lines. Of missed opportunities despite achieving everything, having it all but having nothing. He sang about broken hearts and lost love.
A hard lump clogged my throat and tears burned my eyes by the time he was finished. "That was beautiful, Alex. I've never heard it before."
"I've been working on it the past couple months. The band thinks it's too depressing to play on tour." Alex looked dejected as he put his guitar away.
I was amazed at his talent, that he could compose such a poignantly beautiful song. He showed me more about himself with his song than he ever could have with words alone. "I'm glad you shared it with me."
Alex came to sit next to me. "Lena, I'm leaving tonight and who knows when I'll be able to see you again. I know we've only seen each other again for such a short time, but I feel like I can't live without you now."
My fingers traced his face. My heart was breaking; he looked so lonely already and I wasn't even gone yet. "I don't want to be without you either. I'll come visit you when I can…"
He was staring into my eyes. "I'll wait for you, Lena. I never knew before that there was a possibility for an "us". Everything is different now. I don't know what I can offer you - I just know that I want to be with you. Only you."
My heart was racing. Alex was saying the words I hadn't even dared to believe possible. "Alex, are you sure? A long distance relationship while you have all the pressures of touring is not going to be easy."
Alex closed his eyes. "I love you. I've known it for a long time. And I just want a chance to show you how much."
My world was spinning. I was barely able to whisper around the lump in my throat. "I love you, too."
His eyes opened and the naked longing burning in them made my stomach flutter. Our lips touched together tenderly. Alex's tongue slid against my parted lips and then slipped inside my mouth. I pulled him against me, so desperate for every inch of his body against mine.
Our kiss deepened and my need suddenly grew from a slow burning desire into a fiery conflagration of pure lust. My hands slid under his shirt, trying to memorize every line of his hard body as my mouth devoured his. The aching throb in my pussy intensified and became more demanding; I needed to feel Alex inside me. I grabbed at his pants, frantically trying to unbutton, unzip or just make them disappear altogether.
Alex broke our kiss and stopped my hands. "Whoa, Lena. Slow down. I don't want to rush through this, babe. I want to enjoy every second with you."
I gulped a huge breath of air trying to control my passions. Almost shaking with need, I gazed at Alex expectantly.
He sat back on the bed. "Take your shirt off for me."
I fought the urge to tear my shirt off as quickly as I could. Instead, I pulled it slowly over my head and tossed it aside. Alex stared at my lacy black bra and the luscious cleavage it helped create.
"Mmm. Now take off your bra."
Alex's eyes never left me as I unhooked my bra and slipped it off. The ache in my pussy grew deeper as I sat beneath his smold
ering gaze.
"Gorgeous. I want to slide my mouth all over your skin. And circle those pink nipples with my tongue until your squirming underneath me."
I inhaled a sharp breath. I fought the urge to start squirming right that very second as my nipples tightened under his intense scrutiny.
Alex suddenly jumped up and grabbed his phone. "Can I take a picture of you?" He sounded excited about the idea.
I covered my breasts with my hands. "I don't know, Alex. That can lead to all kinds of trouble-"
"I won't if you don't want to, but I wouldn't show anyone. And my phone is always locked. No one will see it, but me. I'm going to be missing you so damn much…"
Surprising myself, the thought of being photographed naked was turning me on. I trusted Alex completely. "Okay. I want to try, but if I don't like the picture you have to delete it. And I don’t want my face to be in the shot, okay?"
Alex smiled, "Okay. I would never hurt you, Lena. Promise. Now uncover yourself."
I slid my hands away from my breasts waiting for Alex to snap the picture.
"Hold on a second. I want those nipples to be nice and perky." His thumb ran slowly over my nipple. I felt it grow even tauter under his touch. He leaned forward and took my other breast in his mouth, running his tongue over my nipple, flicking it relentlessly until it was painfully hard. I moaned softly as the sweet agony of desire built in my pussy.
I was panting slightly as Alex stepped back.
"Oh, God. That looks perfect." He snapped a picture and then looked at it. "Beautiful."
"Can I see it?"
Alex shook his head. "When I'm done. Now, take off your shorts."
My hands shook as I unbuttoned my shorts. I could feel the wetness of my desire soaking through to my black panties.
Alex flashed me a gorgeous bad-boy smile. "Lean back on your elbows and arch your back up a little bit."
I leaned back, letting my head fall backwards and my hair spill on the bed as I arched my back, thrusting my chest out. I heard the click of another picture.
His voice sounded rough and sexy. "Now the panties, Lena. Take them off."