by Emme Rollins
He chuckled. “Send one of the crew boys out to lend a hand. You’re too little, and I’d hate to ruin your pretty dress.”
I blushed and smiled. The clipped tones of his words did nothing to hide the kindness in him, and I wished he could stay with us the whole tour instead of just the UK bus leg.
Climbing back up onto the bus, I saw no one had moved, and shook my head. Obviously no one but me was worried about the schedule. I went over to Red, the tour’s bodyguard, and asked him to go help Tony with the bus. He agreed and shambled off, like a moving mountain.
Then I stepped over to where Ryan sat. He was still on the phone, but made a gesture indicating I could speak. “Ryan, I spoke to the driver about the bus breaking down.”
“Good. How long are we stuck here?”
“He doesn’t know yet. I’ll get an update as soon as possible. But we left ahead of schedule, so a little time won’t be a huge problem.”
“True. Make sure everyone is happy, okay? I don’t want the guys getting cranky.”
I nodded. “Sure.” But by the time I finished the word, he’d turned in his seat, facing the window, and was muttering into his headset again.
With a sigh I went back to where the rest of our group was sitting. “Guys, as you probably noticed, the bus is having some issues. We should be back on the road soon. In the meantime, does anyone need or want anything?”
Joe, the magnetic lead singer, ignored me. He was wrapped in a tight embrace with his girlfriend, Liss. Not for the first time, I watched their closeness with a pang of jealousy.
Dex and Matthew were still playing video games, but both took a second to shake their heads.
Rick, of course, glowered at me like it was my fault the bus broke down. “What are you, a stewardess now?”
“No, just trying to help out.”
“Yeah, well, the only help we need is getting this hunk of junk moving again. Unless you’re gonna get behind it and push, give it a rest already.”
I took a deep breath. He was such a jerk to everyone for no reason. But this was not the time to get into an argument with him, so I ignored the comment and turned to check on the rest of the passengers.
But before I could open my mouth, he came at me again.
“Seriously. Why don’t you fuck off? Go make a phone call, or read a spreadsheet. I’m sick of being surrounded by a bunch of up-tight suits.”
My eyes widened. I had no idea what had crawled up his ass and died, and didn’t much care. It was ridiculous that he got away with acting like that. “Rick, everyone. Just relax. We’ll be off soon.”
“More blah, blah, blah bullshit. Why…”
He was interrupted by Dex, who’d abandoned his game to stand between us. I could barely see Rick around his broad shoulders. “What’s your bloody problem with Becca?” he asked, voice hard and low.
“Mind your business, man,” Rick spat back.
Dex stepped forward, crowding the other man against the plush seat. “Your shitty attitude is my business.”
I rushed over and put my hand on his arm, though his instinctive defense of me was surprising and sent a warm thrill through my body. “Dex, stop. It’s fine. I’m fine.” His skin was hot under my fingers, and his muscles tense.
He barely glanced at me before returning his attention to the surly drummer. “You want to be a right bastard to us? Fine. We can deal. But Becca’s just doing her job. Leave her out of it.”
Now Rick stood, and for the first time, I realized just how huge he was. Dex was well over six feet tall, but Rick towered over him. “What the fuck? Who do you think you are? Some boy scout too, now? I’ll say whatever the fuck I want, to whoever I want. And you’re not going to do shit about it.”
The two men were close enough to be slow-dancing, but the scene was anything but romantic. A wave of panic started to rise in me. I had to find a way to diffuse the situation, somehow.
“Guys, come on. Can we just all settle down?”
They ignored me, jaws locked with anger. It became clear to me that this confrontation had been a long time coming, and had nothing to do with Dex taking offense to the way Rick spoke to me.
Every muscle in Dex’s back clenched visibly under his tight t-shirt. Normally it would have been an alluring view, but all I could think about was how much trouble we’d all be in if there was a fight.
From growing up around musicians, I knew bands were notoriously mercurial. Between artistic temperaments, egos, lack of sleep, hard partying, and spending too much time together, most bands were constantly teetering on disaster. Now, with Dream Defiled reaching a new level of fame and success, everyone was on edge, working on getting used to all the changes. And one argument could mean the end of everything.
But more than my concern about the band was my worry about Dex. Rick had a reputation for being a brawler. Brutal and quick, his boxing background and massive size made him a dangerous adversary. And I couldn’t even begin to handle the idea of Dex getting hurt.
With all of that swirling in my brain, even though I was still mad at him, I gripped both of his arms and turned him around to face me. At first it was like trying to move a solid marble statue. But as his face turned towards me, he softened. Whether it was the look of panic on my face or just a lowering of the testosterone level, he came around willingly.
“Dex. Don’t do this. Don’t let him bait you.”
He nodded, and took a deep breath. His hands circled my elbows so we were holding each other, literally, at arm’s length. It was intensely intimate in a way I couldn’t quite understand.
“Sorry, love. Bad day is all. I’m fine.”
Rick made some kind of derisive noise, but I didn’t pay him any attention. My eyes and my thoughts were only on Dex. But our moment was interrupted by Matthew. He came over and put his hand on Dex’s shoulder.
“Why don’t we go outside and stretch our legs?” he asked quietly, calmly. Even after spending almost every waking moment with the guys, it still startled me to hear his voice. Shy to the point of being reclusive, I still hadn’t figured out why Matthew was in a rock band. Every moment in public seemed like torture for him. In fact, the only time he seemed comfortable was on stage. Tucked away by equipment in a corner, he played with his eyes shut, like the crowd didn’t exist.
Whatever his motivations, he was able to get Dex to hear him, too. The tension in his strong arms slowly eased until his hands left my skin. I nodded slightly and let go of him, turning to head back to my seat, still a little shaky.
As the two men passed me, I saw Dex pull a flask out of his pocket. I sighed, but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t my place or my business. And, to be honest, I couldn’t blame him for wanting a drink. I could’ve used one myself.
In the midst of all the drama, I’d almost forgotten why we were sitting there. Ryan, who’d left the bus at some point, climbed back up the stairs and motioned me over. I went, smoothing back my hair.
“Yes?”
“Bad news,” he said. “There’s a cracked…something on the bus. The driver says it needs to go to a garage for fixing.”
I frowned. “Okay. So, we need another bus as soon as possible, or maybe cars to take the guys on to Glasgow. The equipment can wait until the bus is fixed, right?”
He nodded. “Hiring enough cars for everyone is going to be pricey, and I don’t want any of them driving.”
I pulled out my phone and started typing, thinking and talking as I went. “Well, we’ve got a few options here. The easiest is just stay here for tonight. Get a van or something from in town, and find a hotel. Then we can just get back on the road in the morning when the bus is fixed and everyone is fresh. It’ll be a little extra work for the crew to get ready for the show tomorrow night, but it’s probably the cheapest way to go.”
“I agree.” He nodded, and looked at me strangely. “That’s some good, fast thinking, Rebecca. I’ll call and inform the label and the rest of management, you make the travel arrangements, all right?”<
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“Yes, of course.” I’d already found the number of a good hotel, and dialed it while slipping past him off the bus.
Chapter Ten
It was nice to breathe in the open air for a few moments. While I got transferred from phone to phone trying to get the hotel manager, I watched Dex and Matthew out of the corner of my eye. They were striding down the muddy shoulder together. Not speaking, just moving slowly and deliberately. It was pleasantly odd to see the usually boisterous and frenetic Dex quiet and seemingly peaceful.
“-Double rooms?”
“I…I’m sorry, w-what?” I stuttered into the phone, completely distracted.
“I asked if double rooms were suitable. We’re nearly booked for the night, but of course want to accommodate you.”
“Ah, yes. Double rooms are fine.” I made a quick roommate list in my head, putting Joe and Liss together, and assigning Mia, Ryan’s niece and the tour’s supposed blogger, to a room with me. “We’ll need six, please.”
“Excellent. Is there anything else?”
I slapped my thigh. “Yes, can you recommend a cab company? Our bus is on the side of the road.”
The woman on the other line stifled a laugh. “Er, which road?”
I looked up at a sign. “The M6? Our driver says we’re very close to Manchester.”
“We have airport shuttle vans. I can send two over to collect you all.”
“That would be perfect. Thank you.”
“My pleasure. We look forward to your arrival.”
“Great.” I paused for a moment. “Oh, and we’ll make sure to tell all the fans online what wonderful hotel got us out of this jam.”
I could practically hear her smile widening. “Excellent. I’ll ring you back with an exact time the shuttles will reach at your location. If you give me the credit card information, I can have you all checked in by the time you arrive at the hotel.”
“Oh, of course.” I rattled off the now familiar numbers and then thanked her again before ending the conversation. Man, traveling with a famous rock band had its perks. If I’d tried to make those arrangements for myself, I would’ve been on hold for days, probably.
I was getting ready to climb back onto the bus to update Ryan on the situation, but first I snuck another look over at Dex. All of the calm from before had left him. He was kneeling down, facing away from the road, sucking steadily on the contents of his flask. A closer look revealed he was pale, and Matthew, standing next to him, looked helpless and baffled.
I hurried over to them. “What’s wrong?”
Dex didn’t even look up at me.
Matthew shrugged, and shoved his hands in his pockets. “He got a call. Won’t tell me anything.”
“Okay. Matthew, can you go back inside and tell Ryan there’s a shuttle bus coming to get us soon, and I’ll be in to talk to him in a minute?”
He nodded, glanced briefly at Dex, and then walked away. I watched his lean form depart, and then turned to look at the man in front of me. At his height, even on his knees Dex was almost as tall as me, it seemed. But something was wrong. He looked small and scared in a way I wouldn’t have thought possible.
“Dex, can you get up and talk to me?”
He took one last swig from the flask, and threw it over the guardrail into a ravine.
“You’re scaring me. What happened?”
He didn’t answer. His wide, strong face was hidden behind his inky black hair, and I knelt down and pushed it out of the way.
“Say something.”
He finally looked at me, his dark eyes dull.
“Who called you on the phone?”
“A cousin, I think she said.”
I was able to put the pieces together from that. “Your dad?”
He nodded.
“Is he…”
“Dead? Not yet. But there’s been a decline in his condition. That’s what she said. A ‘decline’. So fucking clinical.”
“Do they want you to come?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you going to go?”
“To Bristol? Yeah. No. I…I don’t know.”
I put my hand on the side of his face, and made him meet my gaze again. “Dex, you should go. See him.”
“I know,” he said, voice low and soft, so young. “But how can I? What do I say? Goodbye? I love you? Some other bullshit from a movie? That’s not me.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. You’ll say what you say. But you need to see him.”
“I…I don’t know if I can. I mean, we’re four hours in the opposite direction.”
“Hey,” I whispered, placing a finger over his lips. “Let me worry about that. I’ll find a way to get you there.”
“I’m still not sure I should go. Not sure I want to.”
The pain in his face and voice made me ache. All the anger I’d felt melted away. “Do you trust me, Dex?”
“Of course. You’re the amazing Becca Hall.”
I smiled and stood up, holding out my hand for him to join me. He did, slowly.
“Then take my advice. Go see your dad.”
Dex held my hand a little longer than necessary as I pulled him back towards the bus. With his fingers entwined with mine, I couldn’t help but remember the night before. How close I’d felt to him. But that didn’t matter now. He needed my help, and I was going to give it. Send him off and take some time to myself to think.
I wasn’t happy his father was doing poorly, but the timing was pretty good for me, emotionally. I needed some air. Space to breathe where I wasn’t staring at his ridiculously gorgeous face all the time. Last night I’d been rash and let my feelings rule my behavior. No matter what happened with us, that was a mistake I never planned to repeat. Something about Dex made me reckless. It was exciting and terrifying at the same time, but with him gone for a day or two, I could get myself back together.
It was kind of shitty to use the situation to my own advantage, but he’d never know. And what I advised was true. He needed to see his father. In the time since my dad’s stroke, I’d wished a lot that we could’ve talked some things out. And I remembered the day I heard what happened. I was so scared he would die. That he would be alone in the end. As imperfect a man as he’d always been, I loved him deeply. And that day I didn’t think he knew that.
I blinked back tears, and shook my head to clear it. Now was not the time to go down that road again.
When we got to the front of the bus Ryan was there, chatting with the driver and texting at the same time. I stepped away from Dex, afraid that the closeness of our bodies would give away the complicated relationship we’d stumbled into.
“What’s going on, Dex?” Ryan asked, distracted.
I noted for the first time that he called Dex by his nickname. Which was strange. To Ryan, I was always Rebecca. And even Joe was Joseph. I needed to find out how Dex had managed to avoid that irritating little habit.
Dex shrugged, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “I need to cut out for a bit, man.”
Ryan frowned and looked up, finally offering his full attention. “You’re kidding, right?”
He shook his head. “No. Got a situation I need to deal with.”
The other man laughed. “Yeah, right. You think I’m stupid? We’ve been through this before. I don’t give a shit about your little benders and lost weekends, but now is not the time. This tour is too important.”
Dex’s jaw clenched, and it was hard for me to keep from reaching out to him.
“I’m not talking about going off to party. I have a family emergency.”
The look of incredulity on Ryan’s face made me want to slap him. “Uh-huh. Try again.”
I stepped in. “It’s true, Ryan. Dex’s father is very ill. He’s only in Bristol. I can get him on a flight today and back in plenty of time for the show tomorrow night.”
Ryan looked back and forth between us, and in a moment of panic I wondered if he suspected something. But, after a long time, he just sighed and nodded
. “Okay, fine. I’m still a little skeptical, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. You’ve got twenty-four hours to deal with your business.”
“All right,” Dex replied tightly. I could feel the tension coming off of him in waves, and appreciated his self-control.
“Don’t get too excited. You’ve got a way of wandering off, and I won’t have that this time. So I’m sending Rebecca with you. She’ll make sure you get back on time. Or both of you will be looking for new jobs.”
“No!” I said a little too loudly. I barely registered the threat, concentrating on the idea of being alone with Dex for a whole day, away from the rest of the gang. “I can’t do that.”
Dex looked hurt.
“I just mean there’s so much to do here,” I continued, pathetically. “Calls to make and such.”
Ryan shrugged. “If you don’t go, he doesn’t go.”
Well, great. That pretty much took away that choice. As much as being alone with him was dangerous for me, I would never deny him this chance to see his father. If things went wrong and he didn’t get to say goodbye, I’d never be able to forgive myself. I silently called Ryan every foul name I could think of, but plastered a smile on my face, and said, “Okay, then. I guess I can work something out with my responsibilities.”
“Fine. But no one is going anywhere right now. Can you call about that shuttle? Drivers are starting to stare, and I don’t want a press crush out here.”
I seriously doubted that any press were going to come and rush us on the side of a highway, but there was no point arguing, so I nodded and climbed back on the bus, pulling out my phone to check back in with my contact at the hotel.
*
Two hours later, I was sitting on a mostly empty train car next to Dex, and feeling incredibly awkward.
“I, uh, I’m sorry we couldn’t fly. But there aren’t any direct flights and this is actually faster than making the connections that are available.”
He shrugged. “I don’t mind. Now that I’m on the way I can’t say I’m in a big hurry. I was hoping to have enough time to decide what to say to him. But thinking about it is doing my head in. So I’m going to drink instead.” He smiled humorlessly.