by Emme Rollins
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m going after you for no reason. I guess, somewhere inside me, I was hoping it would be like that.”
“That’s understandable, too.”
“Is it?”
“I think so. As much as I try to tell myself to accept my dad for who he is, and that I’ve made peace with who he isn’t, there’s always a small part of me wishing for a miracle. That something could erase the past.”
Dex nodded knowingly, put down the bottle, and leaned against me, the long length of his body molded to my side. “I should thank you.”
“For what?”
“For reminding me I needed to come here. And for making it happen.”
“Of course.” I tugged on a lock of his hair, and smiled. I said, “I’d do anything for you,” before I could stop myself. Shit.
Dex’s smile was suspiciously close to a smirk.
“Shut up. That’s not what I meant.”
“I didn’t say a word.”
“Yeah, but I can read your mind.”
“Is that right?” He turned his torso to face me, and cupped my chin in one hand. “Then what am I thinking?”
“Dirty, terrible things.”
“That’s true. Downright filthy. But are they really so terrible?”
“Nope.” I pushed forward and planted a kiss on his lips. “Not terrible at all.”
Chapter Twelve
Dex turned my sweet little kiss into something dark and deep. His tongue thrust into my mouth, dancing over every inch. He placed a hand at the nape of my neck and squeezed, forcing me closer. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, and bit down lightly. The short, sharp flash of pain was exciting, and I made a sound low in my throat.
The noise spurred him on and he held me tighter, and then tugged at my tightly wound hair until it hung in a golden sheet around me. He shoved both hands in, and pulled back to stare.
“Fuck, I love your hair. Why don’t you ever wear it like this?”
“It’s too long,” I replied, not really in the mood to chat about my grooming habits. “Gets in the way, and I’d always be messing with it.”
“That’s a crime.” He buried his face in my neck and inhaled. “It’s so thick and smells so good. The whole world should get to see it.”
I shook my head. “I doubt the world is that interested in my hair.”
“Mmm. They would be if they saw it like this. Wavy and tousled and sexy.” He paused, and nibbled on my ear. “Now that I’ve thought about that, I change my mind. Better to hide it away. Let me be the only one who sees this side of you.”
“What side?”
He turned my chin with a finger and sucked at my neck. “This sex kitten side. You’re like one of those sexy librarians. All business until they let their hair down. Then look out. She’ll seduce you in a second.”
I giggled at that. “How much wine did you have? I think you’re hallucinating.”
Dex smiled and planted a light kiss on my lips. “Nope. I see it. I remember it. You’ve got a placid surface, but beneath there’s a volcano of desire waiting to erupt.”
Blushing, I looked away from him. “That’s what you see when you look at me?”
“Mmm-hmm. And I remember how you felt and sounded when you came for me. When you let go of everything and just gave in to pleasure. I was hooked right then. I want to be the one who makes you feel that way. I want to be the man who brings that out in you.”
I knew he was talking about sex stuff, but in truth, he’d done that for me in other ways, too. With my hands on his arms to keep him from touching me, I licked my lips before speaking. “You are that man, Dex. You make me different. Reckless and wild. My god, I made out with you on a public train. That’s insane. And wonderful. You scare me. This scares me. But at the same time, I’ve never been so excited to see what comes next.”
“You don’t need to be scared, Becca. You’re still you. Amazing, and smart, and resourceful, and beautiful, and sexy. So fucking sexy I can barely keep myself from taking you right now. You don’t even know. When you look at me, all I think about is touching you. Tasting you.”
I gasped at his words, and my core clenched. “Dex…”
“Wait. Don’t mistake me. I’m not trying to push you into anything. I’m just telling you how I feel. I can wait until you’re ready for…new things. As long as you let me kiss you, be close to you, I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
I buried my face in my hands. It was all too much. His low, melodic voice saying such beautiful things overwhelmed me.
Dex grabbed my hands and moved them away. I looked up into his eyes.
“Don’t hide from me. Not ever. You’re the one who started this. Who ripped away all the bull shit. Turned me into some romantic idiot just waiting for one look, one kiss from you to make everything okay. Even in the middle of this…this shit storm, I’ve never been so happy. And I’m not even drunk. Well, not drunk on liquor. I’m gone over you. Drowning in you, and I never want it to stop.”
Tears stung my eyes, and I needed to shut him up. It was too intense for words. I kissed him again, this time aggressively. Stealing his breath and fisting my hands in his hair, I climbed on top of him, pressing my body tightly against his. I could practically feel his heart pounding against my breasts where they grazed his chest. My softness against his hard strength was intoxicating.
He shifted under me and grabbed my ass, grinding us together over and over with slow, sinuous motions. My whole body was tingling, coming alive from his touch. I held on tight and deepened the kiss even more, sucking, nibbling, devouring hard enough to bruise.
I wanted him desperately. Even locked together like this wasn’t close enough. Dex had invaded every cell of me, and each one was crying out for more. Hunger like I’d never experienced before. Deep, soul-wrenching need. And as much as the passion consumed me, it was his words that echoed in my head. The raw honesty. The trust and vulnerability.
And then I knew. Calling it a decision would be wrong. It was a realization. Accepting something I wouldn’t before. Couldn’t. I’d been so scared he’d be a typical guy that I’d created the thing I wanted to avoid. Dex was giving me everything. All of him, without hesitation. And I wanted to do the same. Not for him – not just for him. I wanted it. Needed it for myself. To let go and be the Becca he saw. The girl – no, the woman I could be with him.
I broke off the kiss and held his face in my hands, panting. “Dex.”
“What?” he asked, voice husky. “What’s wrong?
“Nothing. Everything is amazing. Almost perfect.”
“Almost?”
I nodded. “I want you.”
“I’m right here, baby. You got me.”
“No, I mean I want you for real. All of you. I want you to have all of me.”
His heated gaze bored into my soul. “What are you saying?”
“I think you know.”
He ran his fingers through my hair and down my back. “Becca, you don’t have to do that. If this is to make me feel better or…”
“It isn’t pity, or solace, or anything like that. I just realized I was being stupid. I spent so many years thinking avoiding that one thing would save me. Protect me from getting hurt. But just a few hours of not talking to you nearly destroyed me this morning. I’m all in here, and didn’t even notice.”
“That doesn’t mean we have to. I…your first time should be perfect, not in this dingy apartment in the middle of this madness.”
I laughed. “This isn’t a movie, Dex. I don’t want flowers and candles and fucking smooth Jazz. All I want, all I need, is you. And you’re right here. So it is perfect.”
“Christ,” he replied, sliding his hands up the back of my shirt. “I know I should keep trying to talk you out of this, but I don’t think I can. My brain is going to explode.”
I arched an eyebrow and grinned, pressing my lower body against his. “That isn’t your brain, buddy.”
He let out a guffaw. “See? I
told you. Sex kitten. Now come over here and purr for me.”
I didn’t purr, but I did moan when his fingers came around to the front of me, playing lightly over the undersides of my breasts, sneaking beneath my bra.
Dex’s mouth took mine, sucking at my lips and tongue hard and wild. It was like no kiss I’d ever experienced. A full assault of sexual delight that left me aching and panting as he started tugging at my clothes frantically.
Within a moment we were both topless, bare chests pushed tightly together. Dex’s hands were on my hips, moving me in tiny circles that made his manhood pulse and my breath catch. It was pure carnality, frenzied but controlled, as if he struggled to keep from doing more. But this was not the time for holding back.
“Take me to bed,” I whispered against his mouth.
He surged to his feet, holding me steady until mine were under me. Dex’s hair was in his eyes but I could see them flashing still, hot enough to burn. We raced to the bedroom, shedding more clothes as we went.
By the time we landed on the perfectly made bed I was only in panties and he was completely naked. And glorious. Not that I was an expert on the nude male form, but I was sure his was by far the best. A stunning combination of lean length and wide, strong muscles, every bit of him was firm and gleaming.
And between his thighs, the hard, thick length of him was intimidating and arousing.
He saw me gawking and smiled, wrapping the fingers of one hand around the base. “You’re staring, Becca.”
“You’re beautiful, Dex.”
He chuckled and smirked. “That’s my line, love.”
“I don’t know how someone like you could ever want someone like me, but I don’t care.”
Dex’s jaw tightened. “Don’t say that.” He ran a finger over my breast and down my belly, skirting over one hip and down my rounded thigh. “You’re perfect. Every inch of you. Soft and sweet. Smooth and sexy.”
I shook my head, and leaned closer to touch him. I pressed my hand over the flat muscles of his chest, feeling his heart beating under my fingers.
“If you won’t listen to what I say, pay attention to what I do.”
“Huh?” I asked, distracted by his hot skin.
Dex shifted me onto my back, and slid his hips between my thighs. His mouth came down on my chest, kissing between my breasts and then sliding over to each one in turn, sucking lightly as he went, leaving warm heat behind.
As my nipples pebbled, he paused to roll each one between his fingers while his tongue laved the pale flesh underneath. My hips lifted unconsciously, reaching for him, but he’d only just begun to torture me with pleasure.
Dex left one hand to tease my breasts but moved his lips further down, stopping first at my belly button. He flicked his tongue inside the indentation and then sucked at it. Hearing about such a maneuver would seem silly, but feeling it was incredible.
I sighed with delight and grabbed a handful of his hair, trying to anchor myself in the moment.
He moved on, kissing softly out to the wide swell of my hip, and then across the band of my panties to the other side, before going back again and again, the feather-light pressure of his lips ramping up my desire.
After a few minutes of this, he started moving again, but instead of honing in on my sex, he lifted one of my legs and kissed down the inside of my thigh, running his fingers over the back of my knee and over my calf.
I looked down and saw him sucking and nibbling at a freckle on the inside of my leg, and smiled. He glanced up at my face and returned the expression.
“I never noticed this before.”
“Most people don’t, it’s very pale. You can’t see it unless you’re really close to my leg.”
“Mmm. All mine, then. If I ever let you get dressed again, I’ll think of this freckle. Our secret.”
I laughed. “Some secret.”
“We will have plenty,” he said softly before turning his attention to my other leg. He lavished it with the same care and attention, and I wondered how my entire body had turned into an erogenous zone.
Every nerve in me was buzzing with pleasure and crying out for more. But just as I was about to beg him to stop, I realized what he was doing. Showing me how much he liked my body. Proving it in the way his eyes blazed and his breath came in deep draws.
“Dex,” was all I could say, trying to infuse that single syllable with all the emotions churning within me.
He reared up and kissed me on the mouth, sucking my tongue in, twining it with his. With a groan, his hand slid between my thighs, diving under my panties to the heated flesh within.
I gasped as he grazed the damp crease and spread my legs.
Dex broke off the kiss and grinned down at me, deliciously evil intent in his eyes. “I want to watch you come.”
I swallowed hard, but couldn’t speak. His finger pressed into me, sliding past my entrance easily. With light pressure he teased me there. Then his thumb danced over the bundle of nerves above my sex and I arched into him, driving his finger deeper inside.
Cocky pleasure was all over his face. “More?”
I nodded.
He added a second thick digit and filled me, stretched me. My slick channel clenched down on him and my hands groped blindly, finding his back and holding there desperately. He started lightly pumping his fingers, and I yelped. When he circled my clit with his thumb, I cried out as a climax ripped through me, sending jagged shards of searing pleasure throughout my body.
“Dex!” I shouted, eyes searching his. With our gazes locked he pushed harder, not giving me a second to recover. It was so intense I thought I might die, but didn’t dare.
“That’s it, love. Yes. You’re incredible. See how your body reacts to me. Opens for me.”
I could barely hear him over the rushing in my head.
“God, Becca. I want you so bad. Do you want this? Want to keep going?”
I nodded, tangling my fingers in his hair.
“No, I need you to tell me. I need to know you’re sure. Before I can’t stop.”
Looking up into his eyes, I saw the strain. The willingness to stop, but the deep, consuming desire for more.
“Do you have a…”
“Yeah. Does that mean you’re sure?”
“Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
“Jesus,” he groaned, lifting off of me. “Don’t you move a muscle.”
I grinned and watched his high, round butt as he climbed off the bed and disappeared in the hallway. But instead of doing as he asked, I did move. Just enough to slip my panties off.
Naked in a strange bed, alone for a moment, I barely recognized myself, in the best way possible. Instead of being afraid of how rash and impulsive this all was, I enjoyed it. Luxuriated in the heady combination of excitement and nerves.
But before I could muse anymore, Dex returned. He was still hard, maybe harder than before, and holding a few foil packets in his hand.
“How many of those do you have?” I asked.
He groaned upon noticing I was completely naked. “Not nearly enough.”
I laughed and then sighed as he pounced, coming to rest between my legs again.
“I will try to be gentle, but it will hurt a bit, I think.”
“I don’t care.”
“I do.” He was rolling the condom down over his length, mesmerizing me. “I never want to cause you pain.”
“Dex.”
He looked down into my eyes, and I saw doubt in his. Concern. It was sweet, but stupid. My lack of experience showed, I had no idea how to soothe him. But I did, I realized, know how to excite him, and maybe that would be enough.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and lifted my lower body close to his throbbing shaft. “Fuck me.”
He swore under his breath and kissed me hard. Spreading me open with one hand, he slid inside slowly, the way eased by my arousal.
“Oh my god,” I whispered as he entered, pushing gently, but relentlessly. He filled
me, thrilled me, overwhelmed me. The pain was slight, barely noticeable when I looked into his eyes and saw the hunger, the affection, the care, and something else. Something like wonder.
“Becca,” he breathed, shutting his eyes and burying his face next to my head, pushing his lips into the fall of my hair.
Our coupling was sweet and intimate in a way I never thought possible. In all the times I’d thought about doing it, letting someone inside me fully, I couldn’t have imagined the connection between us. Dex knew exactly how to coax the most pleasure from my body, using his cock, his fingers, his lips to make it so good I could barely take it.
When he finally gripped my hips and began to thrust deep and hard, I came again, shuddering and whimpering. But he didn’t slow, or stop. Like before, he used the signs of my orgasm to force me to a new level. Where I was only vaguely aware of anything but the sensations consuming me. The twisting, churning ecstasy. The press of his weight over me. The feeling of his sweat-slicked skin under my fingers. The sound of his panting breaths.
And then I went off again, this time coming apart in a million pieces, exploding in a supernova of sexual bliss. I was dimly aware of him letting go, surging inside me once more and finding his own climax, before we collapsed together in a quivering mass of exhaustion.
We lay there, still locked together, for a long time. Then Dex kissed my neck and rolled off of me, gripping my hand in his as if he needed to stay physically connected.
It was beautiful. Perfect. Nothing else in the world meant anything to me in that moment. I felt like I could fly. No, it felt like I was flying. Far above everything I’d ever known before. But with his hand in mine, it was wonderful.
“What happens next?” I asked, still breathless.
“Cuddling, I think it’s called.”
I smiled. “I meant after the cuddling.”
“Well,” he drawled. “If it goes well, we have another go. Maybe one after that, too.”
I smacked his arm lightly. “You know what I mean, Dex.”
“I do.” He drew a finger down the side of my face and over my chin. “I don’t know what comes next. But I know I need you. And I want you. Not just in bed. In my life, however it works. You saved me today, Becca. Kept me going. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”