by Emme Rollins
But the song...
Johnnie closed his eyes and put his head back. Now the song played in his head. He wrote the damn thing in the mountains, in the same cabin he was heading to right now, with Jess. He remembered recording it, listening to it ten times. Recording more tracks on top of tracks, deleting tracks. Eventually, it became a stripped down version of itself, three guitar tracks and Johnnie’s voice in its purest form. Peter called right after he finished the final track and had it playing in the background. That’s when it all began. Peter had an ear that Johnnie could only be in awe of. The man couldn’t play a note on an instrument and couldn’t sing if someone held a gun to his head. But he could pick out a song that could make someone famous.
And that’s what he told Johnnie, right on the spot.
He could release the song as a side solo project. A way to supplement income, guarantee self security, along with a dozen other excuses that sounded nice but came with potentially heavy consequences.
Johnnie didn’t need the money, even though Peter pushed it over and over. He got the label to agree to a large advance and even more of an advance if Johnnie would write an album.
Big deal.
Johnnie could do nothing for the rest of his life and have enough money to spend over five or six lifetimes.
The smooth ride of the car felt amazing, not to mention the beautiful woman against his body. He opened his eyes and looked down at Jess again. Something about her just worked. She made everything feel calm and collected.
Johnnie shut his eyes, this time smiling.
He was going to the top of the world, to face the mountains and find peace. He already felt on top of the world with Jess and as she moaned in her sleep, he found peace.
(14)
Jess opened her eyes and took a deep breath. She blinked, her eyes adjusting to being awake. She turned her head to the right and rolled her neck. As she sat up, she realized she was already sitting. She saw Johnnie with his head back, sleeping, and everything came back to her. Part of her expected to wake up in bed, coming out of the best dream of her life.
That wasn’t the case, at all.
She looked forward and caught sight of the new backdrop for their time away.
When he said mountains, he literally meant it.
Without a single building or house in sight, the car pointed towards the bright blue sky, Jess could feel it as they climbed higher. Ascending away from the city, everything shaking off her shoulders and body.
Everything but Johnnie.
“Five minutes.”
Jess looked and saw Johnnie was awake too.
“What?” she asked.
“Five minutes. Right up this road. Looks scarier than it is.”
“It’s not scary at all. It’s... beautiful.”
“Not when it rains or snows.”
“You get snow up here?”
“Sure,” Johnnie said. “If the weather is right. It doesn’t happen too often, but when the ground gets too wet and muddy, you can’t really move.”
Jess scanned the perfect scenery. She smiled.
“What are you thinking about?” Johnnie asked.
“Rain,” Jess replied.
“Rain? Why rain?”
Jess looked at Johnnie. “I hope it pours for days.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. So much rain, they close the roads. Nobody can get to us.”
“Oh, Jess, nobody will bother us here. I promise you. I haven’t even told anyone that I’m up here.”
Jess sat up straighter. “What about your band? Your manager? Won’t they worry?”
“For a minute or two,” Johnnie said. “They’ll figure it out. They know what happens when I have to leave.”
“When you have to? Do you come up here a lot?”
“I’ll be honest,” Johnnie said, “I usually come up here when my heart is heavy. When things aren’t feeling so good.”
“How does your heart feel right now?”
Johnnie took Jess’s hand and put it to his chest. “I feel good. I feel like I’m doing exactly what I should be doing.”
“Are you sure your band won’t care?”
“They understand,” Johnnie said. “They’re probably just getting up anyway...”
Johnnie looked away and swallowed. She closed her hand as much as she could, feeling the definition of his chest. More than ever she wanted this ride to be over. She wanted to see where Johnnie came to unwind. This was where he came to create music and spill his heart.
Jess wanted to be the one he spills his heart to.
The cabin came into view and Jess let out a sigh of both relief and happiness. It wasn’t some sprawling wooden mansion. It was indeed a cabin. A beautiful wood cabin with wooden pillars on the porch, wooden rails, and two wooden rocking chairs on the porch. The driveway area was made up of tan color rock with a knoll in the center of the driveway with a large black rock. It was misshapen and looked like it had no purpose being there.
“What is that?” Jess asked.
“That’s the rock that was supposed to kill me,” Johnnie said. He had a half smile on his face, as though he knew Jess would look confused after a statement like that.
The car stopped, the driver looking in the mirror.
“We’re fine,” Johnnie said. “You don’t have to wait.”
Johnnie opened his door and walked around to open Jess’s. He took her hand and led her from the car before taking her bag. Johnnie made it three steps before placing it to the ground.
Jess hugged herself because it was cooler than the city. With a soft breeze and shades of what felt like a perfect spring day, it was the kind of weather that in the sun was the right kind of warmth but night it was perfect for a blanket... or a fire... or a man.
The car pulled away and Johnnie waved.
“He just leaves?” Jess asked.
“That’s his job. Don’t worry, I have a vehicle. But I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
Jess smiled. “Tell me about the rock.”
Grass had been planted around it and small purple flowers bloomed. It looked like a shrine.
“Well, when I bought the cabin, I was told that some rocks are big enough to fall.” Johnnie pointed to a large hill that was a couple hundred feet away. The tip of the hill appeared to touch to sky.
Jess imagined its peak disappearing into a morning fog when the weather proved right.
“I didn’t think anything of it,” Johnnie said. “But one night after a thunderstorm, I went to use the bathroom. That rock rolled off that hill. It crashed through the cabin and crushed my bed. But I wasn’t in it.”
“It rolled that far?” Jess asked.
“The first cabin was built against the hill. After that rock hit it, I had it rebuilt here. I’m told it’s far enough away. So far, so good.”
Jess eyed the scene, trying to imagine something like that happening.
Johnnie took her bag, her hand, and lead her to the cabin. He opened the door and allowed Jess to walk in first. She looked around the cozy place, inhaling its fresh smell. The walls were lined with guitars, hanging in cascading position. There were so many colors and shapes, Jess had no idea that many guitars existed. In the living room a large stone fireplace was part of the back wall while in the corner was a small recording set up.
Guitars.
Amplifiers.
Drums.
Computers and equipment.
“That’s where I write,” Johnnie said stepping up behind Jess. “If you go look out that window all you can see is mountains. Mountains running into mountains until they become a blur. It’s the most intense thing to stare at.”
“I bet it is,” Jess said as she looked over her shoulder.
As far as she was concerned, she was already looking at the most intense thing.
Johnnie.
“What do you think of the place?” Johnnie asked.
“It’s perfect,” Jess said. “It’s comfortable. It’s... you.”
“Anything else?” Jess asked.
“Like what?”
Jess wanted to say love, but just the word coming to her mind made her freeze.
“I don’t know,” she managed to say.
Johnnie touched her hips, pulling her back so his body touched hers. He slid his lips and down her neck, not kissing her, but still savoring her. Jess turned her neck, giving Johnnie more to enjoy. With her hands at her sides, it just didn’t feel right, but she knew that if she dared to reached back for Johnnie, her hands wouldn’t be stopped. Her body raged for Johnnie in ways she hadn’t felt for a man… ever. The time that had passed since she’d been touched, pleasured, felt like a lifetime and when the tip of Johnnie’s tongue touched Jess’s neck, she shivered in a way that made her feel pure again. As though any other man that had touched her, held her, had her, meant nothing, which created an even bigger desire for Johnnie.
When Johnnie came to the bottom of her ear, she felt his nose nuzzle her earlobe first, a sweet gesture, followed by his lips, a not so sweet gesture.
Jess groaned as she felt Johnnie’s warm breath against and in her ear.
“Want to see the rest?” Johnnie whispered.
“The rest of what?” Jess asked, slightly in a trance.
The rest of the cabin? The rest of Johnnie?
“Follow me,” Johnnie said.
He slithered his way off Jess, leaving her lingering but not disappointed. She never saw a man move like him. Everything was casual, and when her body wanted to feel frustrated, Johnnie just looked at her with his eyes, showing her the dark depth, the comfort, and the temptation that waited.
Johnnie slipped his fingers into Jess’s hand and led her through the living room. They paused at the window near all the instruments. Jess couldn’t help herself as she reached out and flicked one of the guitars. The notes were mixed and dry and sounded terrible. It amazed her to think that Johnnie could take that guitar and create something beautiful from it.
“What do you think of the view?” Johnnie asked.
Jess stared up at Johnnie. Her eyes danced along his jaw line, making their way slowly, memorizing his subtle and sexy features, until their eyes were locked.
“Looks good to me,” Jess whispered.
Johnnie laughed. He reached up with one finger and placed it against Jess’s cheek. He turned her head to look out the window.
The view was breathtaking. Just like Johnnie had said, mountains on top of mountains, going so far that it almost hurt to try and understand it. Jess wondered how many miles she could see right then. With the clear sky, the only limitation was that of perception. She understood why Johnnie could find solace up here, a chance to explore life and humans and relationships, enough to write life changing songs. Then again, she could also understand how coming up here in pain could be a bad idea. The loneliness, the reminder of how big the world was, and the intense quietness and opportunity to explore your own thoughts.
“Come,” Johnnie said and started walking.
He led Jess through an open kitchen with lots of windows and lots of light. Skylights were throughout the middle and on each side hung plenty of lights for nighttime. The largest window was above the sink.
“Faces east,” Johnnie said. “When you wake up, you can stand here with a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise. Or... go out that door...” Johnnie pointed to a door next to the kitchen counter. “...and stand on the deck.”
Johnnie opened the door and Jess peeked out to see a deck that ran half the length of the cabin. It had a small bistro set and as Jess stood on her toes to look more, she realized the deck was very close to a drop off. Her fear of heights kicked in and she stepped back.
From the kitchen, Johnnie showed her the bathroom, and then took her upstairs to a small loft that had a small bedroom, half bath, and an open floor where Johnnie had a desk with more guitars and more recording equipment. The more Jess lost herself in the vibe of the cabin the more she realized she needed something like this too. Her own private space to hide in. The cabin wasn’t set up for entertainment. It wasn’t set up for living. It was set up just as Johnnie wanted it, for himself. She began to think about her advance, her next advance, her royalty statements. It still didn’t feel completely real to be paid for her writing. She couldn’t imagine spending money on anything, not after struggling for so long, waiting for her break.
“And then, there’s one more room,” Johnnie said.
They were back on the main floor. One door was left to open and Johnnie did it with a smile on his face. As the door opened, Jess knew what room it was going to be.
The master bedroom.
The first thing she could sense was Johnnie. His smell, all over the room. A large bed. A tall four drawer dresser. A leather couch. A calm aura throughout the room. A small fireplace on the opposite wall of the bed. No television. No computers. No recording equipment. But yet a single acoustic guitar. An old guitar, looking beat up and worn out. It was on the floor, like a corpse, but Jess figured that’s how Johnnie wanted it.
“I save the best for last,” Johnnie whispered as he positioned himself behind Jess again.
This time when he touched her hips, Jess knew everything was going to happen. She hurried and turned around, not wanting to just be on the receiving end of Johnnie’s desire. She wanted to explore her own.
Her hands touched his face, both hands shaking as she did so. She tried to calm her breathing but it was no use. Her body was engaged, her nerve endings tingling everywhere. The most sensitive of areas ached for Johnnie. As one of his cool hands moved under her shirt, and touched her warm skin, she took heavy breaths.
Jess felt Johnnie’s fingertips climb up her body. He moved over her breast, his large hand cupping her. His other hand slid around to Jess’s lower back and he pulled, forcing her to him. He looked down with honest eyes and a devilish smile.
“Jess...”
“I don’t want to talk anymore,” Jess whispered.
“What do you want then?” Johnnie asked.
“You.”
Jess moved to her toes and Johnnie met her. Their lips touched and their mouths opened. The kiss was instantly hotter than backstage at the concert. The intention this time oozed with sexual need. The kiss last night was simply fantasy, a chance to explore. Right now, this was embedded cravings finally coming to life.
Johnnie moved both hands back to Jess’s hips. He squeezed and lifted her, carrying her straight to his bed.
Jess sat down and leaned back, her legs already open, watching Johnnie tower over her. His hands caressed her face and moved beyond. When he touched her breasts, over her shirt, Jess moaned and thrust her chest at him. He continued down, curling his fingers around the bottom of her shirt. Jess sat up and lifted her arms in unison as Johnnie took her shirt off. When the shirt covered her face, in that split second of time, she realized just what was happening.
This was going to happen.
With Johnnie from Chasing Cross.
Johnnie threw the shirt to the floor and Jess put her hands back on the bed. He quickly moved again, his hands touching her pants. She watched Johnnie’s fingers work with ease and she lifted her lower half off the bed, allowing Johnnie to slide her pants down.
That’s where Jess drew the line, for the moment. She sat up and went for Johnnie’s shirt. Her hands took their turn, moving up his rippling stomach and hard chest. On the way back down, she let her nails touch him and dig at him, enough that she felt Johnnie’s skin shudder. He groaned and stared down at her, still smiling.
“Wild one,” he whispered.
“You have no idea,” Jess said.
She lifted Johnnie’s shirt and placed her lips to his stomach. She kissed up and then down, going right to where his jeans began. That’s when her tongue came forward, tasting him, teasing him as she played, trying
to reach into his pants.
Johnnie took his own shirt off and while Jess felt she had some kind of power in the situation, she lost it all when Johnnie undid his own belt and opened the button on his jeans. He slipped his thumbs not just into his pants but also into his boxers. He pushed, allowing his boxers and jeans to go low enough that Jess had to stop. She gasped for air, watching the very beginning of Johnnie appear.
His hands moved and touched Jess’s shoulders, leaving her moaning, feeling tortured. She looked up at Johnnie and the look in his eye told her he knew exactly what he was doing.
Jess slid back on the bed, all the way to the pillows. She lay with her knees bent, gently arching her back. She reached behind herself and unsnapped her bra. Her fingers then touched her neck and she slowly drew lines down to her breasts. At her bra, she paused and bit on her lip.
Johnnie stood at the foot of the bed, his hands balled into fists.
“You drive me mad,” he said.
“Good,” Jess said.
“No, you don’t understand. I’ve never had a woman do this to me...”
“Do what?” Jess asked.
Johnnie opened his mouth to speak and Jess moved her fingers down, sliding her bra off her chest. She took it off and threw it towards Johnnie. It landed on the end of the bed. Johnnie’s eyes didn’t move from her.
Jess’s chest felt heavy, aching for Johnnie. She touched herself, gliding her fingers along her nipples, feeling them throb with each touch. She moaned and sighed then started to set her sights on her panties. But when she regained her focus, Johnnie was already on the bed, moving towards her.
He hovered over her chest, breathing on her. His warm breath made her shiver. He came down, touching his nose to her left nipple. He moved slowly but with force.
“Oh, Johnnie,” Jess whispered.
Johnnie moved to the other side of her chest. His lips grazed her, the tip of his tongue tasting her.
His left hand touched her side and then came across her stomach in a hurry. She felt his fingers turn and slip into her panties. He rubbed along her smooth skin, following the curve of her body. His fingers danced along her folds, touching her core, carefully moving.