by Vivian Wood
I raise my eyebrows. “Whoa, whoa. I didn’t mean to say anything negative. To be honest, I’ve never really thought that much about them. Their services are centered around women.”
She points at me again. “You say that your family barely subsisted for most of your childhood. I would ask your mother her opinion. I bet she has plenty to say about Planned Parenthood and most of it would be good.”
“Hey now.” I raise my hands. “My mom is very liberal and very pro-women. I think you guys would get along, actually.”
She looks me dead in the eye. “Parents love me. I’m a very well spoken, thoughtful, well mannered young woman.”
I smirk. “You make yourself sound so high and mighty. It’s funny, because I seem to remember you on your knees last night, begging to suck my dick— “
“Gabe!” she protests, slapping my arm. She looks around, her cheeks flushing. “Keep your voice down! There are so many people here that do not need to know the details, okay?”
Grinning, I shrug. “I’m just saying. It’s worth remembering…”
“Shut it,” she mumbles, shaking her head. “Or remembering that scenario will be all you’re doing from now on. You get me?”
I throw back my head and laugh. “You wouldn’t even go two days without jumping me, Luna. This thing between us? It definitely goes both ways…”
She just rolls her eyes again, but she doesn’t disagree. Instead she looks over her shoulder. “Come on. Let’s blow this joint.”
I get up, watching her slender body as she rises. Snagging her hand, I pull her close for a kiss. Then I turn her around and smack her on the butt. “Let’s go.”
She flashes me a red-faced smile and starts to walk to the front of the restaurant.
23
Luna
Bright and early a few days later, I squint at Gabe. With Anchorage and more majestic mountains as the backdrop, I look around the deserted little cove.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
Gabe looks up from where he’s standing by his kayak and gives me a funny look. “Of course. We take these kayaks out practically every time we come up to Alaska. Trust me, you’ll be fine when we get in the water.”
I puff out my cheeks, looking at the slim shape of my bright red kayak. “I’m not sure…”
He picks up his dark blue kayak, jerking his head toward the water. “Just come on. We are in Anchorage for one day, Luna. You can’t come all the way up here and just stand on the shore.”
Wrinkling my nose, I lift my kayak and follow him down to the shoreline. It’s easy enough to maneuver, being that the whole kayak is basically one big piece of fiberglass. I hulk it down until the water is lapping at my toes. Gabe is holding a paddle for me, with each side narrowed so that it can be dipped in the water.
I’m not sure why the idea of being so close to the water with such a small barrier unnerves me, but it does. I bite my lip.
“Get in,” he urges me. “I’ll give you a push.”
Taking a deep breath, I slip into the kayak’s narrow seat. Gabe hands me the paddle and then pushes the little boat out to sea. I clench at the paddle, expecting turbulence… but I stay surprisingly stable.
With a small splash, Gabe hops into his kayak. He paddles toward me, dipping each side into the water with smooth strokes. He looks at my chokehold on the paddle and grins.
“Relax,” he says. “Just get used to the sensation of being practically one with the water. See?”
He paddles in a neat circle to show me how it’s done. Glaring at him, I try to mimic his paddle strokes. To my surprise, it’s actually a lot easier than it looks.
“There you go,” he says, nodding. “You got it.”
I look around us, beyond this little inlet of water. “Are you sure you want to go further out?”
He chuckles. “Yes. If it makes it seem easier, we can start by sticking close to the shoreline.”
I scrunch up my face. “That doesn’t make me feel safer, really.”
He rolls his eyes, ignoring me.
“Great.” He starts paddling away from the shore, heading directly out on the ocean. “Come on…”
I paddle after him, trying not to think about what kind of creatures could be right underneath me, even now. If I just don’t look too hard, I can ignore it.
At least I hope so.
Gabe glances back to make sure I’m keeping up with him. The wind blows his dark hair all around; I’m sure that when we are done kayaking that we’ll both have crazy hair.
We make it out of the cove, paddling out so far that the shoreline shrinks behind us.
“Could you imagine being someone exploring these waters for the very first time?” he asks after a while. “There are a lot of native tribes in this area that have been here since the dawn of time.”
“Mm. It is beautiful out here,” I admit. “Especially when you pull away from the marina and all the people on land. Remote, wild, untamed…”
He nods. “It has a pretty deep history, too.” He glances at me, his gaze lingering.
“What?” I ask, making a face at him.
Gabe squints, looking at the horizon. “You’ve never talked about your own history.”
“What?” I shake my head. “I so have. Remember? I told you about my family…”
He slows down his strokes. “I mean like… who you’ve dated. I have been pretty up front that I come from a screwed up place, dating wise. But you…” He eyes me. “I don’t know that much about you in that specific regard.”
I start to feel a blush creeping up from my neck. “Ah. There really hasn’t been anyone in a few years.”
He’s quiet for a second. “What about the guy that you were so keen to avoid at the gala?”
Inside, I start to squirm. “What about him?”
He gives me an exasperated look. “You tell me. I’m asking you what the story was there.”
I sigh. “You’re talking about Asher.”
Asher, the love of my young life. Asher, the one who smashed by heart into a million tiny pieces and scattered them to the wind.
“Yeah. Dark hair, kinda tall. Had a pretty brunette model hanging off his shoulder…”
Gabe starts to paddle again, forcing me to keep pace. The movement required is kind of soothing to me.
“I was one hundred percent sure that Asher and I were going to be married once.” I sigh. “We were high school sweethearts. Our parents ran with the same set of rich snobs. And I was completely, crazily, foolishly head over heels in love with Asher.”
He cocks a brow. “That guy? Really? He’s not even that handsome.”
I dip my paddle in the water, cocking a brow right. back at him. “He was everything to me back then.”
Gabe nods, looking out at the horizon again. “So what happened?”
My lips twist. I feel acid stirring in my belly, leftover angst. “When I was a college sophomore, he got me pregnant.” I shake my head at the stunned look on Gabe’s face. “We only found out because I ended up having a miscarriage. It was pretty early…”
I have to stop. My eyes are misting over, my voice is so tight when I continue that I’m sure it will break. “Sorry. It was early in the pregnancy. It happens all the time. But when the OBGYN checked me out in the emergency room, she saw signs of endometriosis…”
Gabe stills, his brow furrowing. My heart flip flops. “What is that?”
“It’s a problem that some women get. Basically your uterine lining grows outside your uterus. So like… on your ovaries or fallopian tubes, for instance. It’s not the biggest deal…” I take a breath. “Unless you are trying to get pregnant. Which, at the time, I wasn’t.”
“Is it… severe?” he asks. It’s clear that he’s out of his depth and uncomfortable.
I give him a tight little smile. “It can be. At any rate, I was clearly pretty upset. I called Asher there to comfort me. Instead, he dumped me right then and there.” My lips twist as I struggle to contain m
yself.
Gabe’s blue green eyes study me. “Really? You called him and he came to see you… to break up with you?”
My heart squeezes, thinking of being so cold and alone in the ER room. “And that is why I dragged you out of the room when I saw Asher and his perfect fiancée. I would just rather not relive the past if at all possible.”
He’s quiet for several long moments. “That’s… that’s a really shitty way to treat somebody. I’m sorry that happened.”
Nodding, I try to casually wipe at my eyes. “Yeah, thanks. Anyway, he’s the last guy I was serious with. Ever since then it’s just been easier to focus on my career.”
I take a couple of deep breaths, trying to quell the agita within. It works, at least partially.
“Yeah, no shit,” Gabe says. “If it helps at all, after you left Asher got plastered and made a huge scene. He was politely asked to leave the gala.”
My eyes widen. “Really?”
“Yep.” He balances his paddle across his kayak, stretching. “Thanks for answering my question. I don’t know if I would’ve, if I had been in your shoes.”
I shrug. “It’s not exactly a secret. Besides, now that I’ve told you something, you owe me.”
He gives me a funny look. “What do I owe you, exactly?”
I shrug, one corner of my mouth rising. “I don’t know. What do you have to give me?”
He huffs out a laugh. “You really are something else, Luna.”
“I will choose to take that as a compliment.” I flash him a smile.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a silver flash deep in the water. My breath leaves me is a rush. My heart starts pounding. My hands grip the paddle.
“What?” Gabe asks, looking down to where my eyes are riveted.
“I saw… I saw something,” I whisper, the hairs on my arms standing straight up.
He looks down with a frown, dipping his paddle into the water and maneuvering around for a second. “I think you saw a fish, Luna.”
My eyes dart back and forth, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever I saw. “Mm… oh! There!”
It’s a little further off this time, but I see a sleek form briefly in the dark water below. It’s no fish; it’s body is much larger.
“It’s too big to be a fish!” I yell. “Gabe, it’s too big!”
“Just breathe, Luna,” Gabe advises, shifting his gaze around where his kayak sits in the water.
We are sitting ducks, both of us. How stupid was I, agreeing to follow Gabe out this far in such a flimsy little boat?
Then the mysterious animal surfaces briefly on my other side, scaring the daylights out of me. I scream and it reacts, instantly ducking and plunging below the water.
“It’s a dolphin,” Gabe announces.
I look up at him. “What?”
“It’s a dolphin. That or a porpoise, I can’t really make out which from here.”
Sliding my gaze back downward, I look for the shape again. “Are you sure? How do you know?”
“Hey.” He snaps his fingers a few times to get my attention. “Look at me. I’ve spent as much time out here among the waves as I have on land, okay? I’ve paddled way, way farther out in a kayak. Besides, dolphins are harmless. He probably just saw you floating on the surface and felt curious.”
“You swear? You’re not just telling me that to keep me from panicking?”
He rolls his eyes a little. “I wouldn’t do that.” After a moment’s thought, he shrugs. “Probably, anyway.”
I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. “Did I scare it away?”
“I have no idea. Although I won’t lie, if I were that dolphin, I wouldn’t come back to check on you. There is a whole sea to explore, fish to catch and eat. He’s not worried about you.”
I nod, tears pricking my eyes. “Okay. Sorry. Can we go back to shore?”
Gabe starts paddling. “Of course. I didn’t realize you were so squeamish about the ocean.”
I blow out a breath, following him. “I wouldn’t say squeamish. I’m just… alert.”
He tosses a skeptical look over his shoulder, smirking a bit. “Uh huh.”
Chagrined, I shake my head.
“Just keep paddling, Captain Gabe.”
By the time we make it back to the shoreline, I’m out of breath. Gabe hops out of his kayak so nimbly, as if he was born hopping in and out of kayaks. He tosses his kayak onto the beach and then pulls mine onto the beach.
He helps me out of the craft with strong, steady hands. I turn as soon as I can and hug him, my arms going around his neck, my head burrowing against his warm collarbone.
He makes a soft sound of surprise, his hands wrapping around me. One across my upper back, one at my waist, tugging me closer.
I feel so foolish, clinging to him like this. But it feels right.
It feels necessary.
“You’re all right, Luna,” he rumbles. “You’re safe.”
And I do feel safe, wrapped up in Gabe’s arms. Hugging him tightly for another second, I finally let go with reluctance.
“Sorry,” I apologize, feeling stupid.
Gabe’s lips tip up. “For what?”
I shrug, feeling my cheeks color. “Maybe for overreacting.”
He reaches out and takes my hand, twining it with his own. “It happens to everybody. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re only human.”
I manage a small smile. “It’s true.”
“Come on, let’s take these kayaks back in. I could use a drink, I think. I bet the bar in our hotel serves a great Sazerac. What do you think?”
Cocking my head to the side, I size him up. “Do you think that we could skip the bar and just have something from room service? Because I’m in the mood for something a little more private, if you get my drift…”
His eyes light up. “Oh yeah?”
“Definitely.”
“Well, fuck. We’d better get moving, then…”
Smiling, I pick up my kayak and trail him as he heads up the beach.
24
Gabe
After the relative freedom of being able to spend time with Luna in Anchorage, getting back on the yacht seems like a punishment. I’m still not really talking to Mal, so every moment spent outside of my bedroom is basically fought with tension. And even the moments I do manage to have a little downtime are often frustrated.
Too little time. Too little space.
Be quiet, be careful.
I want to be anything but careful when I’m with Luna. A part of me, way in the back of my head, is sounding the alarms.
Luna is my employee. Not just that, but I’m supposed to be in a solid year of mourning.
I’m playing with fire. I know that.
And yet… the more time I spend with Luna, the quieter we have to be, sneaking around at night…
The more entangled and enmeshed I find myself. It’s like I know what I’m doing is wrong on so many levels but I just… I can’t bring myself to care.
I sail the yacht in a wide arc, leaving Anchorage behind and cutting across the wild blue waves of the Northern Pacific. Malkia and I trade off shifts for a couple of days as we sail back toward the very southern tip of Alaska. Silence reigns in the pilothouse, angry and brooding.
When we finally come into a harbor late at night, I find my way down to my room. When I slide open my door, I find Luna sleeping on my bed, barefoot and still in her heavy jacket. I pause for a second, noticing how her blonde hair shines in the moonlight that pours into the room from above.
If I had to summarize my feelings about Luna right this very second, I would probably say that having her feels very much like holding a small, fragile bird.
She’s not exactly struggling with my hold, but I know that it’s only a matter of time before she wants to be free again. She’s from a different world than I am and before long, she’ll want to return.
That’s just the way of things.
When I close the slidin
g door behind me, she stirs sleepily. I shed my coat and shoes, slipping into bed behind her.
“Mm,” she mumbles. Luna shivers. “It’s cold.”
Putting my arm around her, I pull her against my body. Moving her hair out of my way, I nuzzle the back of her neck until she releases a husky laugh.
“Better?” I murmur.
She turns in my arms, her lips finding mine. “I’m not warmer. But I am distracted…”
My lips are on her neck, my tongue and lips playing against her flesh.
She brushes back her hair and looks up at me, her blue eyes glowing. “What are you doing to me, Gabe?”
One corner of my mouth hitches up. “Getting you out of my system, Luna. The only way that I can think of to do it.”
I can’t miss the way that she draws her breath in, making her chest rise, and looks down to my mouth. I cup her cheek, angling her mouth up. Pressing my lips to hers, I feel a current that flows from her lips to mine. Needing more, I immediately bow her head backward and deepen the kiss.
She feeds into it, making these little mmm sounds as soon as I trail my mouth along her jawline and drive my teeth into her neck. She goes wild for that; apparently my lovely princess likes a little pain mixed with her pleasure.
That fact only makes me harder for her. When I slide onto my lap, straddling me, she thrusts her breasts forward. I fall on them like a starving man on a scrap of bread, licking and sucking everywhere that isn’t covered with clothing.
She rides my lap like a heathen, grinding against my cock like there’s no tomorrow. I groan, wanting desperately to just lay her down right here and fuck her brains out. My need has ballooned since the last time that she let me touch her. It’s driving me insane right now.
“Gabe?” she whispers. Her cheeks heat. “Would you — umm — I like it when you talk to me while we’re… doing stuff.”
“God yes,” I say.
There is nothing gentle about the way that I grab her, hauling her up against me. I’m already hard for her, imagining the sweet satisfaction that I’m about to find at the apex of her thighs. My tongue seeks hers and she opens her mouth to me, urging me on.