by Frank Norris
“Oh, dear,” she whispered, “there’s a thread started, and now it will simply run the whole length....”
Page’s scratching paused again.
“Laura,” she asked dreamily, “Laura, how do you spell ‘abysmal’?”
“With a y, honey,” answered Laura, careful not to smile.
“Oh, Laura,” asked Page, “do you ever get very, very sad without knowing why?”
“No, indeed,” answered her sister, as she peeled the stocking from her arm. “When I’m sad I know just the reason, you may be sure.”
Page sighed again.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she murmured indefinitely. “I lie awake at night sometimes and wish I were dead.”
“You mustn’t get morbid, honey,” answered her older sister calmly. “It isn’t natural for a young healthy little body like you to have such gloomy notions.”
“Last night,” continued Page, “I got up out of bed and sat by the window a long time. And everything was so still and beautiful, and the moonlight and all — and I said right out loud to myself,
“My breath to Heaven in vapour goes —
You know those lines from Tennyson:
“My breath to Heaven in vapour goes,
May my soul follow soon.”
I said it right out loud just like that, and it was just as though something in me had spoken. I got my journal and wrote down, ‘Yet in a few days, and thee, the all-beholding sun shall see no more.’ It’s from Thanatopsis, you know, and I thought how beautiful it would be to leave all this world, and soar and soar, right up to higher planes and be at peace. Laura, dearest, do you think I ever ought to marry?”
“Why not, girlie? Why shouldn’t you marry. Of course you’ll marry some day, if you find—”
“I should like to be a nun,” Page interrupted, shaking her head, mournfully.
“ — if you find the man who loves you,” continued Laura, “and whom you — you admire and respect — whom you love. What would you say, honey, if — if your sister, if I should be married some of these days?”
Page wheeled about in her chair.
“Oh, Laura, tell me,” she cried, “are you joking? Are you going to be married? Who to? I hadn’t an idea, but I thought — I suspected.”
“Well,” observed Laura, slowly, “I might as well tell you — some one will if I don’t — Mr. Jadwin wants me to marry him.”
“And what did you say? What did you say? Oh, I’ll never tell. Oh, Laura, tell me all about it.”
“Well, why shouldn’t I marry him? Yes — I promised. I said yes. Why shouldn’t I? He loves me, and he is rich. Isn’t that enough?”
“Oh, no. It isn’t. You must love — you do love him?”
“I? Love? Pooh!” cried Laura. “Indeed not. I love nobody.”
“Oh, Laura,” protested Page earnestly. “Don’t, don’t talk that way. You mustn’t. It’s wicked.”
Laura put her head in the air.
“I wouldn’t give any man that much satisfaction. I think that is the way it ought to be. A man ought to love a woman more than she loves him. It ought to be enough for him if she lets him give her everything she wants in the world. He ought to serve her like the old knights — give up his whole life to satisfy some whim of hers; and it’s her part, if she likes, to be cold and distant. That’s my idea of love.”
“Yes, but they weren’t cold and proud to their knights after they’d promised to marry them,” urged Page. “They loved them in the end, and married them for love.”
“Oh, ‘love’!” mocked Laura. “I don’t believe in love. You only get your ideas of it from trashy novels and matinees. Girlie,” cried Laura, “I am going to have the most beautiful gowns. They’re the last things that Miss Dearborn shall buy for herself, and” — she fetched a long breath— “I tell you they are going to be creations.”
When at length the lunch bell rang Laura jumped to her feet, adjusting her coiffure with thrusts of her long, white hands, the fingers extended, and ran from the room exclaiming that the whole morning had gone and that half her bureau drawers were still in disarray.
Page, left alone, sat for a long time lost in thought, sighing deeply at intervals, then at last she wrote in her journal:
“A world without Love — oh, what an awful thing that would be. Oh, love is so beautiful — so beautiful, that it makes me sad. When I think of love in all its beauty I am sad, sad like Romola in George Eliot’s well-known novel of the same name.”
She locked up her journal in the desk drawer, and wiped her pen point until it shone, upon a little square of chamois skin. Her writing-desk was a miracle of neatness, everything in its precise place, the writing-paper in geometrical parallelograms, the pen tray neatly polished.
On the hearth rug, where Laura had sat, Page’s searching eye discovered traces of her occupancy — a glove button, a white thread, a hairpin. Page was at great pains to gather them up carefully and drop them into the waste basket.
“Laura is so fly-away,” she observed, soberly.
When Laura told the news to Aunt Wess’ the little old lady showed no surprise.
“I’ve been expecting it of late,” she remarked. “Well, Laura, Mr. Jadwin is a man of parts. Though, to tell the truth, I thought at first it was to be that Mr. Corthell. He always seemed so distinguished-looking and elegant. I suppose now that that young Mr. Court will have a regular conniption fit.”
“Oh, Landry,” murmured Laura.
“Where are you going to live, Laura? Here? My word, child, don’t be afraid to tell me I must pack. Why, bless you.”
“No, no,” exclaimed Laura, energetically, “you are to stay right here. We’ll talk it all over just as soon as I know more decidedly what our plans are to be. No, we won’t live here. Mr. Jadwin is going to buy a new house — on the corner of North Avenue and State Street. It faces Lincoln Park — you know it, the Farnsworth place.”
“Why, my word, Laura,” cried Aunt Wess’ amazed, “why, it’s a palace! Of course I know it. Why, it takes in the whole block, child, and there’s a conservatory pretty near as big as this house. Well!”
“Yes, I know,” answered Laura, shaking her head. “It takes my breath away sometimes. Mr. Jadwin tells me there’s an art gallery, too, with an organ in it — a full-sized church organ. Think of it. Isn’t it beautiful, beautiful? Isn’t it a happiness? And I’ll have my own carriage and coupe, and oh, Aunt Wess’, a saddle horse if I want to, and a box at the opera, and a country place — that is to be bought day after to-morrow. It’s at Geneva Lake. We’re to go there after we are married, and Mr. Jadwin has bought the dearest, loveliest, daintiest little steam yacht. He showed the photograph of her yesterday. Oh, honey, honey! It all comes over me sometimes. Think, only a year ago, less than that, I was vegetating there at Barrington, among those wretched old blue-noses, helping Martha with the preserves and all and all; and now” — she threw her arms wide— “I’m just going to live. Think of it, that beautiful house, and servants, and carriages, and paintings, and, oh, honey, how I will dress the part!”
“But I wouldn’t think of those things so much, Laura,” answered Aunt Wess’, rather seriously. “Child, you are not marrying him for carriages and organs and saddle horses and such. You’re marrying this Mr. Jadwin because you love him. Aren’t you?”
“Oh,” cried Laura, “I would marry a ragamuffin if he gave me all these things — gave them to me because he loved me.”
Aunt Wess’ stared. “I wouldn’t talk that way, Laura,” she remarked. “Even in fun. At least not before Page.”
That same evening Jadwin came to dinner with the two sisters and their aunt. The usual evening drive with Laura was foregone for this occasion. Jadwin had stayed very late at his office, and from there was to come direct to the Dearborns. Besides that, Nip — the trotters were named Nip and Tuck — was lame.
As early as four o’clock in the afternoon Laura, suddenly moved by an unreasoning caprice, began to prepare an elaborate toil
et. Not since the opera night had she given so much attention to her appearance. She sent out for an extraordinary quantity of flowers; flowers for the table, flowers for Page and Aunt Wess’, great “American beauties” for her corsage, and a huge bunch of violets for the bowl in the library. She insisted that Page should wear her smartest frock, and Mrs. Wessels her grenadine of great occasions. As for herself, she decided upon a dinner gown of black, decollete, with sleeves of lace. Her hair she dressed higher than ever. She resolved upon wearing all her jewelry, and to that end put on all her rings, secured the roses in place with an amethyst brooch, caught up the little locks at the back of her head with a heart-shaped pin of tiny diamonds, and even fastened the ribbon of satin that girdled her waist, with a clasp of flawed turquoises.
Until five in the afternoon she was in the gayest spirits, and went down to the dining-room to supervise the setting of the table, singing to herself.
Then, almost at the very last, when Jadwin might be expected at any moment, her humour changed again, and again, for no discoverable reason.
Page, who came into her sister’s room after dressing, to ask how she looked, found her harassed and out of sorts. She was moody, spoke in monosyllables, and suddenly declared that the wearing anxiety of house-keeping was driving her to distraction. Of all days in the week, why had Jadwin chosen this particular one to come to dinner. Men had no sense, could not appreciate a woman’s difficulties. Oh, she would be glad when the evening was over.
Then, as an ultimate disaster, she declared that she herself looked “Dutchy.” There was no style, no smartness to her dress; her hair was arranged unbecomingly; she was growing thin, peaked. In a word, she looked “Dutchy.”
All at once she flung off her roses and dropped into a chair.
“I will not go down to-night,” she cried. “You and Aunt Wess’ must make out to receive Mr. Jadwin. I simply will not see any one to-night, Mr. Jadwin least of all. Tell him I’m gone to bed sick — which is the truth, I am going to bed, my head is splitting.”
All persuasion, entreaty, or cajolery availed nothing. Neither Page nor Aunt Wess’ could shake her decision. At last Page hazarded a remonstrance to the effect that if she had known that Laura was not going to be at dinner she would not have taken such pains with her own toilet.
Promptly thereat Laura lost her temper.
“I do declare, Page,” she exclaimed, “it seems to me that I get very little thanks for ever taking any interest in your personal appearance. There is not a girl in Chicago — no millionaire’s daughter — has any prettier gowns than you. I plan and plan, and go to the most expensive dressmakers so that you will be well dressed, and just as soon as I dare to express the desire to see you appear like a gentlewoman, I get it thrown in my face. And why do I do it? I’m sure I don’t know. It’s because I’m a poor weak, foolish, indulgent sister. I’ve given up the idea of ever being loved by you; but I do insist on being respected.” Laura rose, stately, severe. It was the “grand manner” now, unequivocally, unmistakably. “I do insist upon being respected,” she repeated. “It would be wrong and wicked of me to allow you to ignore and neglect my every wish. I’ll not have it, I’ll not tolerate it.”
Page, aroused, indignant, disdained an answer, but drew in her breath and held it hard, her lips tight pressed.
“It’s all very well for you to pose, miss,” Laura went on; “to pose as injured innocence. But you understand very well what I mean. If you don’t love me, at least I shall not allow you to flout me — deliberately, defiantly. And it does seem strange,” she added, her voice beginning to break, “that when we two are all alone in the world, when there’s no father or mother — and you are all I have, and when I love you as I do, that there might be on your part — a little consideration — when I only want to be loved for my own sake, and not — and not — when I want to be, oh, loved — loved — loved—”
The two sisters were in each other’s arms by now, and Page was crying no less than Laura.
“Oh, little sister,” exclaimed Laura, “I know you love me. I know you do. I didn’t mean to say that. You must forgive me and be very kind to me these days. I know I’m cross, but sometimes these days I’m so excited and nervous I can’t help it, and you must try to bear with me. Hark, there’s the bell.”
Listening, they heard the servant open the door, and then the sound of Jadwin’s voice and the clank of his cane in the porcelain cane rack. But still Laura could not be persuaded to go down. No, she was going to bed; she had neuralgia; she was too nervous to so much as think. Her gown was “Dutchy.” And in the end, so unshakable was her resolve, that Page and her aunt had to sit through the dinner with Jadwin and entertain him as best they could.
But as the coffee was being served the three received a genuine surprise. Laura appeared. All her finery was laid off. She wore the simplest, the most veritably monastic, of her dresses, plain to the point of severity. Her hands were bare of rings. Not a single jewel, not even the most modest ornament relieved her sober appearance. She was very quiet, spoke in a low voice and declared she had come down only to drink a glass of mineral water and then to return at once to her room.
As a matter of fact, she did nothing of the kind. The others prevailed upon her to take a cup of coffee. Then the dessert was recalled, and, forgetting herself in an animated discussion with Jadwin as to the name of their steam yacht, she ate two plates of wine jelly before she was aware. She expressed a doubt as to whether a little salad would do her good, and after a vehement exhortation from Jadwin, allowed herself to be persuaded into accepting a sufficiently generous amount.
“I think a classical name would be best for the boat,” she declared. “Something like ‘Arethusa’ or ‘The Nereid.’”
They rose from the table and passed into the library. The evening was sultry, threatening a rain-storm, and they preferred not to sit on the “stoop.” Jadwin lit a cigar; he still wore his business clothes — the inevitable “cutaway,” white waistcoat, and grey trousers of the middle-aged man of affairs.
“Oh, call her the ‘Artemis,’” suggested Page.
“Well now, to tell the truth,” observed Jadwin, “those names look pretty in print; but somehow I don’t fancy them. They’re hard to read, and they sound somehow frilled up and fancy. But if you’re satisfied, Laura—”
“I knew a young man once,” began Aunt Wess’, “who had a boat — that was when we lived at Kenwood and Mr. Wessels belonged to the ‘Farragut’ — and this young man had a boat he called ‘Fanchon.’ He got tipped over in her one day, he and the three daughters of a lady I knew well, and two days afterward they found them at the bottom of the lake, all holding on to each other; and they fetched them up just like that in one piece. The mother of those girls never smiled once since that day, and her hair turned snow white. That was in ‘seventy-nine. I remember it perfectly. The boat’s name was ‘Fanchon.’”
“But that was a sail boat, Aunt Wess’,” objected Laura. “Ours is a steam yacht. There’s all the difference in the world.”
“I guess they’re all pretty risky, those pleasure boats,” answered Aunt Wess’. “My word, you couldn’t get me to set foot on one.”
Jadwin nodded his head at Laura, his eyes twinkling.
“Well, we’ll leave ’em all at home, Laura, when we go,” he said.
A little later one of Page’s “young men” called to see her, and Page took him off into the drawing-room across the hall. Mrs. Wessels seized upon the occasion to slip away unobserved, and Laura and Jadwin were left alone.
“Well, my girl,” began Jadwin, “how’s the day gone with you?”
She had been seated at the centre table, by the drop light — the only light in the room — turning over the leaves of “The Age of Fable,” looking for graceful and appropriate names for the yacht. Jadwin leaned over her and put his hand upon her shoulder.
“Oh, about the same as usual,” she answered. “I told Page and Aunt Wess’ this morning.”
&nbs
p; “What did they have to say?” Jadwin laid a soft but clumsy hand upon Laura’s head, adding, “Laura, you have the most wonderful hair I ever saw.”
“Oh, they were not surprised. Curtis, don’t, you are mussing me.” She moved her head impatiently; but then smiling, as if to mitigate her abruptness, said, “It always makes me nervous to have my hair touched. No, they were not surprised; unless it was that we were to be married so soon. They were surprised at that. You know I always said it was too soon. Why not put it off, Curtis — until the winter?”
But he scouted this, and then, as she returned to the subject again, interrupted her, drawing some papers from his pocket.
“Oh, by the way,” he said, “here are the sketch plans for the alterations of the house at Geneva. The contractor brought them to the office to-day. He’s made that change about the dining-room.”
“Oh,” exclaimed Laura, interested at once, “you mean about building on the conservatory?”
“Hum — no,” answered Jadwin a little slowly. “You see, Laura, the difficulty is in getting the thing done this summer. When we go up there we want everything finished, don’t we? We don’t want a lot of workmen clattering around. I thought maybe we could wait about that conservatory till next year, if you didn’t mind.”
Laura acquiesced readily enough, but Jadwin could see that she was a little disappointed. Thoughtful, he tugged his mustache in silence for a moment. Perhaps, after all, it could be arranged. Then an idea presented itself to him. Smiling a little awkwardly, he said:
“Laura, I tell you what. I’ll make a bargain with you.”
She looked up as he hesitated. Jadwin sat down at the table opposite her and leaned forward upon his folded arms.
“Do you know,” he began, “I happened to think — Well, here’s what I mean,” he suddenly declared decisively. “Do you know, Laura, that ever since we’ve been engaged you’ve never — Well, you’ve never — never kissed me of your own accord. It’s foolish to talk that way now, isn’t it? But, by George! That would be — would be such a wonderful thing for me. I know,” he hastened to add, “I know, Laura, you aren’t demonstrative. I ought not to expect, maybe, that you — Well, maybe it isn’t much. But I was thinking a while ago that there wouldn’t be a sweeter thing imaginable for me than if my own girl would come up to me some time — when I wasn’t thinking — and of her own accord put her two arms around me and kiss me. And — well, I was thinking about it, and—” He hesitated again, then finished abruptly with, “And it occurred to me that you never had.”