“In the meantime, we need to honor not only what Crisa would want, but what we all want,” Kai said. “We need to protect our realm. That means helping you guys with the peace talks, guarding Mauvrey while she recovers Paige’s memories, and being ready to fight back if the antagonists attempt any serious moves.”
“Can’t we take a shortcut where Mauvrey is concerned?” Divya suggested. “SJ and Merlin created a potion that let us see Mauvrey’s memories before. I know that potion was hard to make, but couldn’t you brew a new dose and use it on Mauvrey to retrieve Paige’s memories?”
“A novel idea, young protagonist,” Merlin said. “But I would advise against that for several reasons. For starters, that potion requires a hair from your target, and real Paige burned to death months ago. Any other memory potions would only pull out a handful of miscellaneous recollections at a time, and all of Paige’s memories reside in Mauvrey’s head. We wouldn’t be able to target and extricate the exact one we need like a surgeon removing a tumor. We’d have to keep pumping Mauvrey full of potion hoping to find the right one, which brings up the second reason this is a bad idea. Between the potion we already used on Mauvrey and the sleeping curse she was under for seven years, this princess has been subjected to a lot of magic. There is only so much the human mind and body can take, and there is a very real chance that Mauvrey’s mind would explode if we kept exposing her to additional powerful concoctions.”
“So, what then?” Girtha said. “We give her time and wait for the memories to come back on their own?”
“I didn’t say that,” Merlin responded. “With some focus in my sleep, my Pure Magic foresight may reveal better ideas for how to move her along. In the meantime, you kids need to continue protecting her.”
“At least our main villains are stuck in Dreamland for the time being,” Gordon said.
“I can’t talk about this anymore.” Blue stood abruptly. “It’s late. Some of us have lived thirty days in a few hours. I’m tired.”
SJ looked at Blue sympathetically. “Of course. It has been a long day for all of us. I think it would be best if we reconvened in the morning.”
“We usually depart for the peace talks at eight o’clock,” Marie said. “These new developments aside, our talks are ongoing. I hope you Dreamland explorers understand we have to leave you here and go on as normal tomorrow.”
“Of course we do,” I said. “Go. Negotiate for a better society. We get it.”
SJ nodded. “I regret that Mark was not able to join us via compact tonight. But hopefully we can all connect in the morning before we depart.”
“I am not surprised he fell asleep early . . .” Mauvrey said. My attention darted toward her. It was so strange to hear that voice without its usual malice. “I have been in a daze since I woke from my curse. Even walking to the ladies’ room takes a lot of energy.”
“In any case, SJ, you actually filled us in about Mark plenty for now,” Kai said. “I think we understand what’s going on. We don’t really need to talk to him right away to get more info.”
“I think some of us want to talk to Mark because he’s our friend, Kai, not because we want something from him,” I said, straightening up.
Kai didn’t reply but she narrowed her eyes at me a bit. I didn’t blink. I hadn’t meant to offend her, but I didn’t like talking about Mark as if he were a pawn in a game we were playing.
When Crisa made her decision to absorb Mark’s Shadow, she had been partly thinking of the greater good implications relating to her vision of Mark helping us find Natalie Poole. However, I knew her caring for Mark colored the choice too. Blue was right when she noted Crisa’s tendency to put herself in harm’s way to help others. When it came to friends that tendency doubled. In fact, it often consumed her. I wished things had turned out differently, but I didn’t hold her actions against her. I would have done the same thing for Mark, or any number of people here. He mattered to me. Blue was probably the friend I was closest to, but before Daniel came along, Mark had been my best friend and roommate at Lord Channing’s.
Hence why I couldn’t simply take SJ’s word that he was okay; I wanted to check on the guy myself. A year was a long time to be trapped in a curse. And if the antagonists had put him in one to eliminate the threat posed by his knowledge of other dimensions, now that he was awake I didn’t put it past them to try and take him out of action again, perhaps in a more permanent way. He was free of his curse, but he wasn’t out of trouble. None of us were.
“I’m sorry, Jason, I didn’t mean to be insensitive,” Kai said plainly. “I know Mark has been through a lot. We should all send him a card or a plant or something.”
“I will take either of those if you are offering,” Mauvrey said. “My room is a little drab.”
“Noted,” Gordon said. He patted his hands against his legs then stood. “Well, what’s say we all meet for breakfast in the grand hall at half past seven?”
The rest of us arose from our assorted seats. Cereus nodded. “Daphne and I will explain the new developments to our parents beforehand. They rise every morning at six. Chance, you can sit that out.” He patted his younger brother on the back. “I know it might be hard for you to relive what happened a second time.”
“No,” Chance said firmly. “I’m not weak, Cereus. I’ll tell them what happened and I’ll do it alone. I don’t need you or Daphne to hold my hand.”
I raised my eyebrows. His response was kind of aggressive. But then who was I to judge Chance? I’d met his family; putting down the guy seemed to be part of their dynamic. Daphne and Cereus were two of his nicer siblings, but even they unintentionally played into it at times. Chance was clearly not taking it today.
“Fine then,” Daphne said gently.
“Fine indeed,” Merlin huffed, almost amused. “Regrettably I won’t be joining you all tomorrow. Arthur has summoned Peter and me back to Camelot.” He glanced up at the kid, who lay asleep on top of a bookshelf. “We’ll be returning by wormhole early in the morning.”
“Check in when you reach your destination,” SJ said.
“It’s cute how you worry,” Merlin smirked. “Now come on, children. Peter has the right idea. Off to bed with you.”
We said our goodbyes and goodnights. I wanted to speak to Blue, but she slipped out of the library before I could reach her. I sighed, frustrated. She hadn’t looked at me all night.
“Hey, Peter?” I rapped on the bookshelf.
“What? Where?” The kid startled awake and looked around. Seeing that the meeting was over and the room was emptying out, he flew down to my eye level. “Did I miss much?”
“No. Merlin told us you’re leaving early tomorrow.”
“Against my will. The only wormhole out of here is at dawn. You’re lucky you get to sleep in.”
“Actually the rest of us are having breakfast at 7:30.”
Peter rolled his eyes. “Is this what happens when you become a teenager? You willingly choose to get as little sleep as possible?”
“I think you get used to it with school,” I said. “We get up pretty early for classes at Lord Channing’s, and the school day lasts about seven hours, not including clubs and activities.”
“Makes me appreciate the casual tutoring my dad and Merlin have been giving me,” Peter said as we headed out of the library, him levitating beside me.
“Your dad? Since when did you relabel Arthur?”
Peter huffed. “I’m testing it out. Why does everyone have to make such a big deal about it?”
“Sorry,” I said. “I just think it’s cool.”
“Yeah, yeah. Good night. Or goodbye until next time, I guess.” Peter flew down the stairs ahead of me. Everyone else had already scattered. I was alone now. It felt like a long time since that had happened.
Instead of heading to the guest room I’d used before going to Dreamland, I made my way down to the main floor of the castle and sought out the kitchen. Daphne and Cereus had provided an array of snacks in the library,
but I hadn’t felt like eating then—too much to concentrate on. Most of my friends hadn’t felt the same loss of appetite and had wiped out that food. Now the pangs in my stomach reminded me that it’d been a while since I’d had something filling and I had to forage on my own.
The kitchen was quiet as a farm after midnight. I turned on a few lights as I scavenged for what I needed—plain bread, peanut butter, and a knife.
I made two sandwiches. Then I paused and decided to make two more. Finished, I cut a pair of sandwiches in half down the middle like rectangles then cut the second set into two triangles by slicing diagonally. Everything assembled on a plate, I turned off the lights and headed upstairs. When I reached my destination, I knocked on the door. Daniel opened it.
“I saw you didn’t eat much either,” I said, holding up the plate in my hands.
Daniel stepped aside and let me in. The fireplace in his room roared with orange snapping flames. Like my room, Daniel’s had light wood floors, a dark navy bedspread, and a balcony that overlooked the mountains in the daytime. At the moment, the pulled back curtains only revealed the black night that surrounded us.
I sat on the couch by the fireplace, placed the plate on the table, and grabbed a sandwich triangle. I leaned back and put my feet up on the table. Daniel joined me on the couch and picked up one of the rectangle sandwiches. This was the guy’s go-to snack when he came back to our room after combat practice at school, and it had become mine too. We’d shared a space long enough that I noticed the little things about him, and therefore knew he always cut his sandwiches into rectangles compared to my preference for triangles. It was a stupid, small thing, but there it was.
“You didn’t bring any milk,” Daniel commented.
“I’m not room service.”
We ate in silence for a minute before I spoke again. “How are you doing with all of this?”
Daniel stared at the fire. “Fine.”
“That’s a lie, but it’s been a long day, so I’ll pretend you’re telling me the truth.”
He frowned in irritation. I was used to it. Daniel was guarded most of the time, even with us, his friends. At least after nearly a year of knowing him, I could sometimes get him to be straight with me about how he was feeling. This was one of those times.
He sighed. “Jason, what do you want me to say? Obviously I’m upset, and worried. It kills me to think of her out there alone. Just because she doesn’t need protecting doesn’t mean I—we don’t want to protect her. Knight is a good friend to all of us.”
“Yeah, but you and Crisa are . . .”
Daniel raised an eyebrow. “Are what?”
Man, I don’t know.
“You have a stronger bond than most people,” I said.
A moment passed. Eventually Daniel gave a single nod. I swallowed down a few more bites. “How do you think your girl is handling all this?” I asked when I finished the sandwich.
“Knight is strong. She’ll always keep fighting, even if she’s afraid.”
“Um . . . I meant Kai.”
Daniel paused. “What?”
“Kai. Your girlfriend. That’s who I was talking about. I have to imagine she must have mixed feelings about all this.”
Daniel took a long time to answer. “We all have to deal with what happened in our own way,” he responded vaguely.
He released a deep breath and rubbed his hands against his pant legs. “Anyway, I’m not in the mood to share, Jason. And I have no right to whine about my feelings regarding what happened in Dreamland. You’ve known Knight way longer. Shouldn’t I be the one asking how you’re feeling?”
“When have you ever asked me how I’m feeling?”
I honestly hadn’t meant that to be a jab at him; it was just a statement. And it was a fair one. Daniel and I had become good friends over the past year, but as mentioned, talking about feelings was not his thing. Whenever we’d connected, I had instigated it. I was okay with that; it was nothing new. However, based on Daniel’s reaction now, it seemed he hadn’t fully realized this.
“I’m sorry,” he said seriously. “You’re right. And that’s not fair. Frankly, it’s messed up. So let’s flip the script for a sec. I know you came in here to check on me, but how are you doing?”
I smiled slightly. It felt good to have a friend ask that sincerely after everything that had gone down. The smile didn’t last long though, as solemnity sunk in when I spoke the truth. “I am worried. Really worried. But I agree with Chance about trusting that Crisa will come home during the next full moon. She’s strong. She can do it.”
“I’m not talking about Knight,” Daniel said. “I mean, how are you doing with the girl you have a stronger bond with than most people? Blue.”
I froze as I reached for another sandwich. His question felt like a punch in the stomach. Forget milk, now I wished I had ginger ale.
“I took your advice,” I said grimly. “I told her how I feel. It didn’t go well.”
Daniel seemed uncomfortable.
“What?” I said.
“Do you want me to be totally honest with you?”
“No, I prefer when my friends are deceitful.”
Daniel hesitated a moment, as if second-guessing his course of action, then he looked me in the eye. “When we were in Dreamland, Knight and I caught up with you and Blue a bit sooner than you think. We found you right when you were telling her how you feel. We saw what happened.”
The peanut butter sitting in my stomach felt like it turned to stone. Blue rejecting me had been one of the most humiliating and surprising things I’d ever experienced. I’d been so sure she felt the same way about me. I’d laid my heart out on the line and she’d cut it in half with the merciless brutality of gardening shears.
“For what it’s worth,” Daniel said carefully, “I still think she likes you. She’s just afraid.”
I shook my head and slouched back against the couch. “Blue’s not afraid of anything.”
“Everyone is afraid of something. And fear is linked to what people care about most.”
“Blue told me that if she and I were together, she’d fall into some archetypal trap where the female protagonist’s romantic relationship inevitably matters as much as her personal journey. She doesn’t want to be defined that way.”
“That’s a valid concern,” Daniel replied. “You and I respect girls and treat them as equals whenever we can, but the world still tries to pigeonhole people into groups. I’ve read stories; I’ve got a library card. Blue’s on to something.”
“Seriously? You agree with her?”
“I agree there is a pattern. Typically, if guy heroes find someone to love then that’s great—a bonus. If girl heroes get a love interest, it ends up being a big part of what society cares about in their lives and story. The sad status quo is that for guys, feelings are a luxury; for girls, feelings are an expectation.”
“Dang. That’s deep for you, Daniel.”
“Shut up.”
I thought about my friend’s analysis. Blue had made similar points, but somehow they had more of an impact coming from Daniel. Maybe it was because when Blue had made them, I was focused on her rejecting me. Or maybe it was because Daniel genuinely didn’t go that deep most of the time. I had seen a lot more of the guy’s true self than other people, but even I sometimes forgot that he was thoughtful and introspective behind his brooding loner image. The fact that he understood Blue’s point of view so easily made me question why I couldn’t. I was usually the empathetic one in our group. Should I be cutting Blue a bit more slack?
I sighed. “So how do she and I get past this?”
“I don’t know, man. But I do think you can. I’d say give her time. And prove to her that being with someone doesn’t mean becoming a sidekick in their story.”
“What could I possibly say to convince her of that?”
“I’m not telling you to say anything. In fact, if I were you, I wouldn’t even bring up what happened between the two of you in Dreamlan
d. She knows how you feel now, so the ball is in her court. Give her a chance to simmer on how she feels, and keep doing what you’ve always done in the meantime—treat her like an equal. Guys can’t win girls like trophies anymore. We need to earn their respect and return it just as sincerely. If you want her to come around it’s not about telling her she won’t have to compromise her heroism for you; it’s about showing her.”
It was good advice, but it would be hard to follow. Every time I looked at Blue I felt the embarrassing sting of her rejection mixed with the feelings I still held for her. Nonetheless, I would do as Daniel suggested and give her time while trying to prove how much I respected her. With someone as strong-willed and proud as Blue, it might be my only chance to break through to her.
“Thanks,” I said to Daniel.
Daniel shrugged. “Any time.” He paused. “And I mean that, you know. I get that we don’t talk that much about the deep stuff, but I am here if you need me. You’re aware of that, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “But it’s good to hear you say it.” Sandwich and conversation done, tiredness got the better of me. I stood to leave.
Daniel raised an eyebrow. “Nothing else you want to talk about?”
“Geez, Daniel. Man up,” I said sarcastically. “We can’t gab about our feelings all night.”
Daniel smirked. “Night, Jason.”
“Good night.”
hile we ate breakfast, I was reminded of school.
Darling Castle had several dining rooms. The one my friends and I sat in now was like a perfect replica of the main dining area where the family had their meals—mahogany floors, unlit fireplace, rectangular pure gold table, ebony chairs. Only this place could host twenty people comfortably instead of forty. The way we all sat there—so many kids eating at a long table and exchanging stories—it was like our dining hall at Lord Channing’s. Maybe with better manners because of the princesses present.
Since several of our friends had to hustle to get to the peace talks, we decided not to contact Mark as a group. Those who wanted to speak with him would do so on their own.
Midnight Law Page 9