I leaned back in shock. “Kai, how can you say that? I’ve risked a lot for you. Gladly and without hesitation. I will always be there for you. Anywhere you and I are together has always been my favorite place to be.”
“If that’s true, then why have you been keeping your distance from me?”
I paused. “It’s complicated, Kai. I know I’ve been distracted with the Knight stuff, but that’s a temporary situation. You’re still the most important person in my life.”
“You say that, but you don’t show it.” Kai sighed. “Look, you have a lot on your mind; I get that. But you used to lean on me when you had problems. You used to talk to me, consult me.” She looked down at our joined hands. “You didn’t do either before you made your decision about Midnight Law.”
Guilt rang through me, but I still believed in my reasoning for not talking to her. It wasn’t from lack of caring or lack of respect for our relationship. I’d wanted to make this critically important decision on my own without other people—people I loved and usually listened to—influencing me.
“It was my choice, Kai. The responsibility and the risk are mine.”
“No, Daniel. They’re ours,” she said, looking up at me. “If you fail and get turned to stone, you don’t think I won’t die too? You’re my responsibility, Dani. When you risk your life, you risk our future together. You should have talked to me about what I think of all this.”
I swallowed. If I was honest with myself, I also hadn’t consulted Kai because I knew what her reaction would be. And I just . . . I couldn’t face it then like I wasn’t ready to face it now, even with the decision already made. Kind of messed up considering how long we’d been in a relationship, but it was how I felt.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Are you though?”
“Kai, I’d never want to hurt you.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
We sat in silence again, but it was no longer calming or familiar. I wasn’t used to feeling tension with Kai. It was my own fault, and I hated that, but I was so full of different emotions lately that part of me didn’t want to go digging up more. It was easier to be distant. I was good at that. I’d never directed that tendency toward Kai, but there was a first time for everything . . .
I broke our bond, withdrawing my hand from her as I stood. “If it’s okay with you, I really do need to be alone right now, Kai. I have to sort some things out and mentally prepare for what’s about to happen.”
Kai nodded, hurt. “Fine, Daniel.” Then she stood with resolve. “But we’re finishing this conversation later. And as you’re doing your whole mental prep thing, keep in mind that while you’re so worried about saving one girl who matters from the other side of the universe, the girl who supposedly matters the most is right here.”
She started back through the woods.
“Kai,” I called after her.
She didn’t turn around. I was both disappointed and relieved by that, which made me feel worse. And yet, I didn’t act on that guilt. I just let her go.
I avoided interaction with anyone else for the rest of the afternoon, doing miscellaneous training drills in various areas of campus.
Around dinnertime, I found myself in the aviary with the falcons, checking on the birds. But like so many other places, Knight’s ghost followed me here. Though it was months ago, it felt like I had brought her to the aviary only yesterday.
“Falcons can sense fear and weakness. Look them in the eye at all times or they may wonder about your motives,” I’d told her.
“Sounds like good advice regarding teenage girls too,” she’d replied.
She almost always had some sort of sassy comment, sarcastic remark, or cheesy joke in her holster.
The aviary door creaked open. I turned around. It was Javier. “There you are,” he said, stepping inside. “You weren’t answering your Mark Two, so I thought I’d check a few of your usual hang outs. The others got back from the peace talks a half hour ago. The girls went back to Lady Agnue’s, but the guys and I are going to have dinner soon—Gordon, Chance, Jason, and I. You should join us.”
“No, thanks,” I said, not looking up.
“Let me rephrase that,” Javier said. “Come join us. Space can be good, but spending too much time alone with your thoughts when bad stuff is happening isn’t healthy, Daniel. Believe me, I have the experience.”
I turned away from the falcons to look at him curiously. “What experience?”
Javier stepped farther into the aviary and leaned against one of the wooden support beams. “You know what I know about you, Daniel? You’re a good friend, but you’re not good at making friends. It’s not because you’re not loyal or decent; it’s because you don’t take the time to talk to people on your own. They have to come to you, and not everyone is the type to do that, so your circle stays limited.” He sighed. “I lost my dad when I was eight to an ogre attack in my village. Gordon has struggled with dyslexia since he was a first year at school. Chance has been bullied by his siblings most of his life. You may have experienced a lot of struggles in your past, but you’re not a special case. We all have problems. It’s easier to deal with them together. I know you’re close with Crisa and Kai and Jason, but just because you have a few people in your life who’ve found a way over your walls doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying to expand that club. Maybe you could meet us halfway and lower them a bit from time to time.”
Javier headed back for the door.
“Come to dinner, Daniel. We’re all worried about Crisa and Midnight Law. It’s not just you. Your walls aren’t as high as when we first met, but you may find strength in bringing them down further so that more of us can get in.”
He closed the door and left me alone.
“When have you ever asked me how I’m feeling?”
That’s what Jason had asked me in Clevaunt. I’d apologized to him at the time, and I had felt embarrassed that I hadn’t noticed that flaw in our friendship sooner. But maybe it was my flaw in general. I had been trying to change for the sake of the people closest to me, like Jason and Knight, but Javier had surprised me.
Maybe I needed to try harder with all people, not just the ones who’d already forced their way into my life. I couldn’t count on everyone else to do that emotional legwork. The distance I was trying to keep was doing more harm than good and I needed to get over it, myself, and this fear that clawed at my subconscious at the very thought of letting people in . . .
I shook my head and swallowed my misgivings for the moment. Then I left the aviary and headed after Javier.
Apparently, before the spell was banned, it was tradition to enact Midnight Law in the Hall of Fallen Heroes.
At ten minutes to twelve, most of our gang waited at the roundabout of statues. Lenore and Debbie were set to arrive five minutes before midnight, and I felt sure they’d be punctual.
I paced out some final jitters in one of the connecting hallways. I’d seen Chance go off to do something similar a short while ago. We were in the same boat; it probably would have been good to deal with the nerves together. Too bad I couldn’t stand him.
I took out my golden pocket watch—the timepiece I’d chosen to use for the enchantment. Last semester I looked at it often, longing for my life before being chosen as a protagonist. Though I still carried it with me, I barely looked at it anymore. I opened it and studied the small picture of Kai I kept opposite the clock inside.
“Dani . . .”
I turned around at Kai’s voice. Her eyes darted to the pocket watch and a small, sad smile crossed her lips. “Do you remember when I gave you that?”
“Of course—the day before I came to Lord Channing’s. So I’d remember that it was only a matter of time before we found our way back to each other again.” I closed the few feet between us, wishing away the tension I felt there.
“I wasn’t sure you still had it.”
I looked at her strangely. “How could you think that? Of course I do. I jus
t don’t need to look at a picture as often when the real thing is so close by.”
She released a deep breath and rubbed the side of her thigh uneasily. “Dani, I said we’d finish our conversation later. We’re almost out of time for you to ask me.”
“Ask you what?”
She raised her eyebrows. “I told you it bothered me that you didn’t consult me about your decision to enact Midnight Law. You said you were sorry, but I’m still waiting for you to want to know what I think. Doesn’t my opinion matter to you?” She searched my face. “It should matter to you.”
A tense pause hung between us. I tucked the watch back in my pocket and my heart softened. I had been assuming this whole time that I knew what she’d say, but maybe it was unfair to do that. I owed it to her to genuinely ask.
I took a deep breath and a leap of faith. “Okay. What do you think of all this, Kai?”
“I think you shouldn’t do it,” she said bluntly.
My heart sunk a bit. My initial instincts had been correct about what Kai’s answer would be. I wasn’t surprised by it, especially given our conversation earlier. And yet . . . I was surprised from a character standpoint. Kai was brave, and fierce, and strong. She may not have considered my friends her friends, but she was a good person. A good person shouldn’t want to let an innocent person get tortured in another dimension. Not if there was a way to save them.
“How can you think that?” I asked, trying to see things from her perspective but falling short. “You know what the antagonists are doing to Knight. You expect me to straight up leave her there? Sleep soundly at night knowing she’ll get tortured until she dies or gives in to the darkness and turns evil?”
“I’m saying maybe you can have it both ways. Chance is eligible. He can save Crisa. I’m asking you to let him have her.” Kai grasped my hands with strength but spoke gently. “Daniel, please. I’m begging you. Chance can go on this quest alone. Let him risk his life for Crisa.”
“She would do it for me.”
“I don’t care if she would do it for you,” Kai snapped suddenly. “Don’t do it—for me. For my sake.” She cupped my face with her hands. “I love you. I don’t want you to die.”
I looked into her brown eyes. I’d gladly gotten lost in them a thousand times. I considered getting lost in them now. They were safe, they were familiar, and they’d been my escpae for most of my life. But I couldn’t do that; my focus had to be elsewhere.
“Please try to understand, Kai. I couldn’t live with myself if I ran from this.” I took her hands, lowering them from my face. “I don’t want to be the kind of hero that takes the easy way out or lets someone else fight his battles. And I don’t want to be the kind of friend that bolts when things get hard. I gave my word to Crisa that I would be there for her when she needed me, and I’m going to follow through on my promise. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be the man I want to be—for your sake . . . and mine too.”
Kai angrily shook free from my hold. Then she stomped angrily back up the hall.
“Kai—”
She stopped and whirled around. “And by the way, using the watch I gave you to enact this spell is a slap in the face. You’re blind if you don’t see that. That watch is special to us. It has nothing to do with Crisa.”
She stormed off before I could explain.
I pulled the watch out again. I wasn’t trying to disrespect Kai by using it. What she didn’t know was that I chose this watch because it had everything to do with Knight and me. Last semester when we’d been trapped in a genie lamp together, and I’d finally decided to trust her and open up, I’d shared this watch with her. I’d shared my secret about Kai and my prophecy and my vulnerabilities. As a result, this watch was as much a reminder of my past with Kai as it was my past with Knight.
Was that so wrong?
I walked farther down the hall, conflicted.
How could Kai be so sensitive about a watch? More importantly, how could she ask me to abandon Knight? What kind of person would do that to someone they cared about? Did she not get it—that friends didn’t leave each other behind, that they had a responsibility to each other? Like me, Kai had always been a loner; she didn’t have any close friends growing up besides me. The two of us had stayed behind our walls together. But couldn’t she try and understand what I was feeling now that I’d lowered mine some?
My head hung a bit dejectedly. Maybe not. Maybe she wasn’t capable of learning to let other people in. All my friends at this school were great people; they’d won me over. She’d been around them for months. If they hadn’t gotten into her good graces by now, wasn’t there something wrong with that? What if Kai didn’t understand what it meant to have friends, or care for someone outside of our little bubble?
I guess I couldn’t hold that against her . . . Before Lord Channing’s I didn’t know how to do that either. I was trying, but it was still hard and I had trouble with it. Based on recent feedback, I still had a long way to go.
“You need to be very sure, Chance.”
I stopped in my tracks as I rounded the corner and saw SJ talking to Chance. I backtracked a step quickly and paused, listening.
“I know Crisa exceptionally well,” SJ continued. “So I have no doubt she has feelings for you. Just like I know she would risk Midnight Law for you, or any of us. It is the kind of person, and friend, that she is. But do not mistake that for romantic love. If you are doing this because you care about her as a friend, then I fully support it. However, if you are doing it because you love her, like I suspect, then I would not advise you to risk your life.”
“But you just said you have no doubt she has feelings for me,” Chance protested.
“Feelings are fleeting, Chance,” SJ said. “Getting turned to stone is not. If you are going to risk everything for someone, you need to be realistic about your expectations. And my expectation—my genuine belief as one of Crisa’s best friends—is that she is not going to be able to love you the way you want. So please, before you go in there and enact that enchantment, make peace with the idea that you are not doing this for Crisanta the love interest, but Crisanta the person. Only step into the Hall of Fallen Heroes if that is who you want to save.”
“Why are you having this talk with me and not Daniel?”
“You know why,” SJ replied. “I can see it in your eyes.”
Chance didn’t respond for a beat.
“I know exactly what I am doing, SJ,” he said eventually. “And I am prepared to accept all the risks. I’ll see you in there.” Booted footsteps echoed up the corridor—straight toward me. I glanced at the way I’d come from; I’d never make it back up the hall before Chance turned a corner. And there was no broom closet or anything to—
“Daniel?”
Too late.
The prince had turned the corner and looked at me sternly. “Did you overhear my conversation with SJ?”
I could lie. I could feign ignorance. I could run in the other direction.
No. None of that was me. I wasn’t intimidated or embarrassed by Chance’s judgmental face. My style was owning up to things, with attitude.
I crossed my arms. “Yeah, I heard you guys talking. And SJ’s right. Knight isn’t going to ride off into the sunset with you even if you do save her. If you’re going all in on this, you shouldn’t kid yourself and hope for something that’s not going to happen.”
“I shouldn’t kid myself?” Chance repeated. “Daniel, I know you don’t like me, but don’t look down on me. At least I know where I stand with Crisa. And I accept it. Meanwhile, you stand with one foot on the dock while the other’s on the boat.”
My eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about putting myself on the line to save someone who is first and foremost my friend,” Chance replied. “Whatever we become after that is neither here nor there. If she rejects me in the end, I’ll be heartbroken, but I’ll deal with it. At least I’ll know I was brave enough to admit what I wanted and go after
it. But you—”
“Boys?” Marie came around the corner with SJ. They paused, sensing our hostility.
Marie cleared her throat. “I am sorry, but the Godmothers have arrived. It is time.”
Chance and I exchanged a glare but followed the girls back to the Hall of Fallen Heroes. Lord Channing was there, alongside Lady Agnue, Lenore, Debbie, Pietro, and all our friends.
We had extended an invitation to our headmasters as they needed to know what we were planning. One of their students was currently a prisoner to evil villains, two of them were about to risk turning to stone to save her, and a handful more would be joining their inter-dimensional quest. It was only fair to give them a heads-up that when school started next week there was a chance a few of us would not be present for roll call. Because, you know, we might be dead.
Kai stood on the outskirts of the group. I stalled next to her on my walk in and touched her arm. “I know you’re tired of hearing it, but I am sorry if I hurt you. And I understand if you don’t want to come on this quest with me.”
She held my gaze, but then sighed and put her hand over mine. “I meant what I said this afternoon, Dani. I would follow you anywhere. And I would do anything to protect you.” She smiled lightly. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
A bit of stress lifted from my shoulders. I knew things between Kai and I weren’t fixed, but it meant a lot that she wasn’t so mad that she would stay behind.
I moved to the roundabout where my headmaster waited with Chance and the other adults present. “Good luck, gentleman,” Lord Channing said. He put a hand on each of our shoulders. “May the forces of good be with you, and the courage of our greatest heroes guide your path.” He moved aside and Lady Agnue stepped forward.
“Bring Crisanta back safe. She had faith in both of you, as do I.”
Next in the lineup was Debbie. She didn’t say anything; surprisingly she gave us each a quick, tight hug. Lastly came Pietro. He stopped in front of us, hands in his pockets. For the first time in a long time there wasn’t much resentment in his eyes—just steeliness. “Like the headmistress said, since Crisa had faith in you, I guess I also have to. Bring her back. Don’t let me down again.”
Midnight Law Page 26