by D V Wolfe
“What?” Luke said. He looked at the tank. “Why don’t you do it?”
“Because I can’t,” I snapped. “ I’d normally ask Noah but he’s off being a teenager at the moment. If I try to do it, it’ll take the skin off my hand.”
“Fuck,” Luke said, backing away. “Well, I’m sure as hell not going to do it.”
“It won’t hurt you,” I said. “I promise.”
“Like I’m going to believe that,” Luke said. I grabbed the sprayer’s hose, aimed it at Luke, and hit the trigger. A few drops sprayed him in the face before it turned to a drizzle. He jumped back, but of course, nothing happened.
“See?” I said. I could feel the bruises on my face, chest, and black blooming, making the muscles beneath them ache, and all I could taste was copper. I needed to close the books on the ultimate street fighter gang so I could lay down and convince my internal organs to stop bleeding. Luke didn’t look to be in any better condition.
I held the flask out to him again. “I’ll explain later.”
He took the flask but didn’t move. I held the hose over my hand and gritted my teeth as a drop fell onto the skin and immediately raised a welt. “See?”
Luke stared at my hand and I shook the sprayer at him, jostling the water inside. “Now fill the damn thing.”
I did a quick salt refill and we took off. I checked my cell phone. No missed calls so I assumed June and Noah were off somewhere maybe sharing a milkshake with two straws. At least I hoped they were. I debated calling June just to make sure they hadn’t gotten caught up in anything like the high-noon brawl we’d stumbled onto. But, at the same time, if they were having fun, I didn’t want to worry Noah. By the time we pulled into a spot across from the cop shop, I’d decided to try calling after we gave our statements, provided that we weren’t arrested and put in the cell with the other brawlers.
“Let me do the talking,” Luke said. Fine by me. I just wanted this over with. My shirt was torn and missing most of the buttons and there was blood spatter from my mouth, staining it. My face was swelling and my ribs ached. I figured Luke was probably in a similar shape. He was moving like I was as if every muscle were on strike and he was trying to appease the union.
Parker was behind the front desk. She looked happier than I’d seen her a few hours ago. She had a styrofoam to-go container on the desk next to her. It was afternoon, so I assumed it was the remains of her lunch with Agent Stephens. “Geez, what happened to you two?” She was on her feet. “Did you get caught in that fight?”
“I called it in,” Luke said.
Parker nodded. “Gretsky and Milton were patrolling and responded. I was at lunch. Do you need a trip to the E.R.?”
Luke shook his head. “Could I, we, see the arrestees?”
Parker looked doubtful. “It’s not really policy to let victims closer than a line-up.”
“Are they already heading to the courthouse for arraignment?” Luke asked.
Parker shook her head. “No, they’re still in holding. Patrol went back out with Marlowe and Thompson to take statements from witnesses.”
“What about the Chief and the rest of my team?” Luke asked.
“Chief is at lunch and the other Feds cleared out a couple of hours ago, well, except for Agent Stephens, but he was with me and he just left,” Parker said.
Luke nodded. “Well, the statements are going to come in that my gun was fired at the scene. Ba..Dr. Wesson drew it and shot one of the perpetrators in the foot while he was assaulting me.”
Parker looked disappointed. “We’re going to have to process your weapon.”
“Understandable,” Luke said. “That’s why we came down. We wanted to make our statements anyway.” Luke looked over at me. “Dr. Wesson, did you say something about the ladies’ room?”
Well played, Luke. “Yes,” I said. I looked at Parker. “I’m going to go see what I can do about…” I motioned at myself in general, “this.”
Parker nodded and opened an expandable file. She pulled out a set of forms and pulled up a chair next to hers. Luke sat down and I drifted down the hall. I paused at the door to the ladies’ room and glanced back towards the squad room and waiting area. Parker was going over one of the forms with Luke and not paying attention to me. I moved further down the hall and followed the signs to “Central Holding”. The door looked like a fire door and I expected it to be locked. Not the case. I pushed it open and I could hear the guys yelling at each other from inside the one huge cell set along one wall. To keep the peace, it looked like they’d handcuffed them all to bars about four feet apart. A few of them were still trying to kick at each other. I hadn’t let go of the door yet and I found a rubber doorstop to wedge in it in case it locked from the inside. I moved over to where the other guys could see me and they all started yelling. I held up a hand, terrified that Parker would hear and come to investigate.
“Hey,” I said. “You’ve all been exposed to a very deadly disease.”
“Yeah,” Khakis yelled, “from Carl.”
“Hey!” I barked. “I need to do one more test to make sure you’re in the clear.”
“Fuck you, bitch,” Big guy growled. “You shot me in the foot.”
“You were strangling a Federal agent,” I said. “I thought that would be better than the electric chair.” Big guy still looked pissed, but he shifted his bandaged foot and didn’t say anything else. The cell wasn’t deep so I decided to just try to do it through the bars. I started at one end and flung a handful of rock salt into the faces of each man. They sputtered and growled. I reassured them it was scientific and they took it. No screams, black smoke, or any other reaction. Big guy gave a howl of pain when it hit him but some of it got into the wound under his eye so that was understandable. I started at the end and worked my way back, shaking the flask of holy water in their direction. They protested this but besides lunging at the bars and making threats, they couldn’t do much else. No demonic reactions. They were clean.
“None of you seem to have it,” I said.
“What kind of a quack doctor are you?” Carl asked.
I shrugged. “A very specific kind. What caused the fight?”
They all started talking at once and I held up a handful of salt. “One at a time or I go two for two with this. Carl, you first.” His was the only name I knew so to establish rapport, I decided to start with him.
“Honestly,” Carl said, “I just remember coming out of Lyle’s gun store and I was pissed. I saw Bert and Ernie,” he nodded at Khakis and Younger guy, and I was proud of myself that I didn’t laugh. “And I just wanted to beat the shit out of them.”
“And you got that and interest in return,” Younger guy, Ernie, said, tugging at his handcuffs.
I flung more salt at Ernie and he shut up.
“Ok,” I said. “But you just wanted to do it, suddenly?”
Carl shrugged. “Well yeah, I’ve known Bert since high school and Ernie mows my lawn. I didn’t have a pre-existing reason to fight them beforehand.”
“Why did you then?” Bert asked.
“I don’t know,” Carl said.
I looked at Big guy. “What about you?”
Big guy looked over at Ernie. “Well, Ernie is my brother-in-law. He’s not my favorite person, but I know it would piss my wife off something terrible if I beat on him. But, I was coming out of the diner across the street and I saw Ernie beating on Carl and something just snapped.”
I looked at Braid guy. “What about you?” Braid guy looked at the other four. “I’m not from here. I was stopping through town and I decided to go to the diner for lunch and then this behemoth,” he nodded at Big guy who growled low in his throat in response, “came charging out of the diner and socked me one.” Braid guy shrugged. “Then I just saw red.” He shook his head. “I haven’t been in a fight since the seventh grade.”
“Fourth,” Carl said.
“The Marines,” Big guy added.
“I’ve never been in a fight,” Bert said.�
�Until now.”
Ernie hadn’t said anything. We all turned to look at him. “I was in a fight last week,” he said.
“Well, thank you, gentlemen,” I said. I looked at Big guy. “Sorry for the bullet wound.”
He shrugged. “I’ve been shot before. This one wasn’t too bad.”
I nodded. I didn’t doubt him. “This has been really helpful.”
I started to leave and Carl spoke up. “Hey, what’s the diagnosis?”
“You don’t have the disease,” I said. “But to keep from getting it, I recommend daily yoga, flowers for your significant others, a hammock, and the five of you getting a beer together once a week.”
“Thanks, doc,” Ernie called as I opened the door to leave. Before it closed behind me, I heard Ernie ask. “Any of you know how to do yoga?”
I paused outside the door and craned my head down the hall to see if Parker was still preoccupied. She was still bent over the stack of forms and I managed to slip into the ladies’ room. I did what I could to make it look like I’d actually spent my time of absence in there. The bruises on my face were becoming more prominent. I rinsed my mouth a couple of times to get the blood out and then I ran out of things I could do to try for improvement.
“Perfect timing,” Parker said when I approached. “That’s the last form, Agent Connell.”
Luke thanked her and moved so I could sit down. It felt like an eternity later, but the clock only said four when Luke and I finally waved goodbye to Parker and hobbled back to the Crown Vic.
“No wonder people don’t leap at the chance to be a cop,” I muttered. “The paperwork alone...”
Luke nodded. “Yeah, that’s one of the things in the ‘con’ column.” He waited until we were back on the road heading for the Rosewood Inn before he asked, “So, any revelations from the group of Mel Brooks’ extras in central holding?”
“Still no demons,” I said. “I’m pretty sure now.”
“Just pretty sure?” Luke asked.
I shrugged. “It’s not an exact science.”
“I hurt too much to want more detail. I need to get horizontal,” Luke groaned as he turned his head to look down the road at a four-way stop. He put a hand to his neck.
“Yeah, being strangled is the worst.” I’d seen some light bruises on my neck from Carl’s hold on me.
Luke chuckled, but then winced in pain. “You say it like this crap happens to you every day.”
I was silent. I didn’t know how he’d react if I told him that was pretty much the case.
We fell, more than walked through the door. I stumbled over to Noah’s bed. Luke closed the door behind him and fell onto the bed he’d slept in the night before. We let out a collective sigh and were quiet for a minute.
“So it’s not the cops,” Luke muttered, groaning as he turned onto his back.
“And either Burke was the only Fed who was possessed or the others passed the salt and holy water test and took their demon asses back to D.C. But in my experience, if they were possessed by a demon that was involved with the big baddie I’m looking for, they wouldn’t leave town.”
“Why?” Luke asked.
“Two reasons. First, that would mean that they would miss out on the carnage, which ‘boo’, no demon wants to miss out on that. But second, the big baddie would kill them.”
“That’s one hell of a retirement plan,” Luke said. “So probably not the other agents on my team then.”
“I don’t think so,” I said.
“What about the brawlers?”
I shook my head and closed my eyes. “They passed every test. I asked them why they’d fought and none of them had a normal ‘beef with this guy so I decided to beat his ass’ kind of answer. It was like they all just snapped.”
“Can the demon make them do that? I mean, force people to fight each other?”
“Maybe,” I said. “I’ve never seen one do it before, but it doesn’t mean they can’t.”
“Wow,” Luke said quietly. “Man, I thought this was going to be a boring trip.” He turned his head and groaned. “So where does that leave us for suspects?”
“I don’t know.” I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. Still no calls. I flipped it open and called June’s phone.
“Hi Bane,” June said. “Any news?”
“Some,” I said. “How are you and Noah doing?”
“Here,” she said, “I’ll let him tell you himself.”
Noah came on the line. “Hey, any updates?”
“We’ll catch you two up at dinner. You and June want to come back to the room? I’ll order some pizza.”
“Sure,” Noah said. “Hang on, let me ask June.” The phone was muffled for a moment and then Noah was back. “Yeah, that sounds good. We have one more place we want to check out and then we’ll head back.” Despite his town forgetting him and his mom being missing, there was a note of happiness in Noah’s voice that made me smile.
“Sounds good,” I said and I hung up. I closed my eyes. “What kind of pizza do you want?” I asked Luke.
“Surprise me,” he groaned, rolling to a sitting position. “I’m going to take a shower. I have blood in my ear. Don’t know if it’s mine, don’t want to know.”
“I call next,” I said as he passed by the foot of my bed and into the bathroom. I waited until I heard the door close and the shower turn on. I flipped the phone back open and dialed Walter.
“Hello?” Walter said.
“Walter, it’s Bane,” I said. I didn’t wait for a reply, “I’m in Bellum and I’m looking for this badass demon but I’m coming up empty. I killed a peon demon last night, but I didn’t get much out of him.”
“Well did you try to question him after you killed him?” Walter asked. “Because I might have an inkling as to why he clammed up.”
“Well, he was choking someone so I couldn’t do a full interview. I just wanted to know, has anything changed? Do you think the demon has left Bellum? Any new visions?”
“Sorry Bane,” Walter said. “I still feel that overwhelming force in Bellum. I haven’t had any new visions. Did you find the new building?”
“Sort of. We think. There’s a new plant that just opened. The guy who owns it...and runs it I think, is named Bill Griffith. Ring any bells or shake anything lose?”
“Nope,” Walter said.
“Company is called Copia Industries. Does that blow your skirt up?”
“Sorry Bane, not even a flutter.”
“Oh well, it was worth a try.”
“You know one of the reasons that these big forces set off alarm bells for me that I then pass on as warnings to intelligent hunters, telling them to avoid situations like this, is that these forces can be very subtle, slipping into a crowd of innocents like a cat amongst the pigeons.”
“Good to know,” I groaned. I hung up with Walter and thumbed through my contacts.
I didn’t really want to call Stacks and talk about demons and Feds, but maybe he’d have something. I waited while the phone rang.
“Bane, I’m kind of busy,” Stacks said, answering. He didn’t sound pissy like I expected. He almost sounded, elated.
“Oh yeah?” I asked. “The research going that good?”
“The research is on hold for the moment,” Stacks said. “I’m back in Messina. Rosetta dropped me off a couple of hours ago.”
“Oh,” I said. “Crashing on Tessa and Marge’s couch?”
“Nope,” Stacks said. “My landlord called me. His insurance paid out quickly for the fire damage done to my trailer and he got a great deal on a new trailer for me. Just got it all hooked up yesterday and told me I move back in today.”
“How does your landlord still even talk to you after you’ve blown up not one but two trailers this summer?” I asked.
“He owes me favors,” Stacks said, simply. “I helped him get some dirt on his ex for his divorce, smoothed some property dispute things out via the web, that kind of thing.”
“All hail the hacke
r king,” I muttered.
“Yeah, so I’m busy. I’m moving stuff back in and I still have a demon corpse to deal with. I need to go ask my neighbor if I can borrow a shovel.”
“Well, if a shovel and a corpse are involved, don’t let me hold you up,” I said. “I’ll call you later.” I hung up, relieved for Stacks that he wasn’t homeless anymore, and that he could exercise his paranoia about what was happening in Messina in a closer proximity to its source.
I looked back down at my list of contacts. I could call Rosetta or Tags, but they both had enough crap going on in their lives at the moment. I really wanted to call Gabe, but after last night’s conversation, there was no reason for me to call again. And I needed to put some distance there. I was flirting with the line of disaster and I needed to back away. Besides, I had bigger shit to shovel at the moment. I had no more logical suspects. The ridiculous brawl was apparently a dead end at the moment. I thought about what Luke had said regarding the remains that had been found over the weekend. I was so thankful it was a man’s body. Noah had been through so much. I thought about that note of happiness in his voice. June was alright. She was a little too eager to join the “mystery machine gang”, but she was probably just adventure starved. And she really seemed to like Noah. Maybe they’d had a more productive day than Luke and me and they’d figured out something helpful that might be the start of a plan.
I glanced at the clock. I rolled to my side and opened the nightstand to pull out the yellow pages. Pizza first. Plan second.
***
“So, no new breakthroughs?” I asked, choking down a mouthful of pizza.
Noah shook his head. “No, no one remembered my mom. Or me for that matter. It was bizarre. Talking to these people I’ve known my whole life. It was like it wasn’t really them anymore.”
“Like they’d been replaced by doppelgangers or something?” Luke asked. He was sitting, leaned back against the headboard on his bed. Noah, June, and I sat on the other bed.
Noah shrugged. “Maybe. But the whole town? I mean we talked to my old school teachers who were polite but said they had a hard time remembering every kid. We talked to my old little league coach who pretty much said the same thing. Then, we talked to more of the neighbors at my old house. They were suspicious but at least they didn’t call the cops on us.”