by J. McSpadden
"We were required to kill our chosen targets, no questions asked. We were told they were infected, and infected people were to be removed from society. We sincerely thought we were doing God’s work at the time," Vesyon said as his shoulders sloped downward with the heavy weight of his past.
Camille felt the urge to comfort him but wasn't sure how to achieve it. The words slipping between his lips felt like a downpour of history he'd been unwilling to share, but there was no stopping him now that the flow had begun. Every syllable appeared to crush him and yet he continued in a hurry to be done with the pain.
He laughed then, a sharp, bitter sound that pulled at his features, forming dark shadows over his eyes. "Fools is what we were."
"You didn't know any better," Camille offered, but he shook his head.
"We did know better. We were created to protect, not destroy. To be a Praetorian was to be the High King's property, but after years of killing, after countless unquestioned assassinations of people we didn't even know the names of, we began to question the morality of our duty to Aspera."
He stood then, the energy of his words strumming through his body like a sudden bolt of lightning surging from the center of his chest and outward to every extremity. Camille's eyes swiveled to follow his movement back and forth across the platform, his boots clapping across the planks with every step.
"I'm not sure telling you everything is such a great idea." Stopping in the middle of the cramped space, Vesyon stared down at Camille as though assessing her.
"Well I won't argue with you, but I have to admit it's getting bloody exhausting not knowing the details of my own life."
His mouth parted momentarily before pressing back together, his eyes narrowing into sharp grey slits followed by an almost imperceptible nod.
"I was at Sierra Village with Langhorn," he spoke up before retaking a seat next to her. Instead of looking Camille in the eyes, he glanced out over the stillness of the night, watching the shifting, slow swim of fog slipping between the treetops.
"Who's that?"
"White Wall's physician."
Nodding in understanding, Camille felt her brows scrunched together, wanting to place the name in her memory but came back with nothing so much as a fluttering feeling of familiarity. "Do I know him?"
"You've met," Vesyon said, his gaze slipping over to her for a mere moment before retreating.
"I received an urgent message from Phillip," Vesyon continued. "At the time he was the Count of Charlie Town. I headed there straight away. The message said the entire village was under attack and to send additional help. It made no sense; there hadn't been a word of a mass Chimera outbreak, so there was no reason why a Praetorian would already be there. When I finally arrived at Charlie Town I understood Phillip’s meaning."
His words were heavy like molasses in her ears, pushing their way through her memories to bring everything back to the surface. Her vision swayed with blurry images of her sword slashing through the air, laying waste to screaming people, and blood—so much blood it made her sick.
"I can't explain all the details." His hand reached toward her, his fingers a bare whisper of heat along the back of her hand. It jarred her out of the sluggish pool of her past, and she blinked away the images fighting to take control.
"Yes, you can," she said without thinking. "I need to hear it."
With a small twitch of his lips, he pulled back slightly. A heavyweight of indecision slipping over his features, weighing down his already torn expression.
"I'm not sure knowing everything is best."
She nodded then, knowing that the secrets he held weren't all secrets of his own making. "Please, Vesyon," she pleaded, her voice surprisingly strong even to her own ears. "I only need to know what I did. Right now, that is enough."
She couldn't look at him anymore. Instead, her eyes slipped toward the distant mountains lining the southern border between Aspera and Dwaa. It was bitter cold on their perch, the icy chill seeping into the thin layers of her sleeping wear, and she wished she'd thought to bring a coat. Appearing to notice her chill, Vesyon slipped an arm over her shoulders pulling her in close against his side as he wrapped her in his heavy fur cloak. The gesture, though simple, made her smile despite the horror of what she knew she was about to hear.
"Charlie Town was a military base, a holding unit of weapons and our only barricade along the northern border between Aspera and the Dai'Cian Kingdom. Some of the leaders of the village, including Phillip, started to see the fissures in LeMarc's rule. Charlie Town had become a home base for the rebels, a strong fort against a tyrannical king. Once our plans to fight back were laid out, he caught wind of our treachery, and he sent in a weapon to destroy the beginnings of our rebellion."
"A weapon?" Camille echoed.
"The slaughter wasn't your fault," Vesyon said leaning into her, squeezing her shoulders. She felt the wariness in his movement, his slight hesitancy but he didn't pull away. She suddenly felt desperate to hear the truth and didn't move or pull away in fear of knocking him off his path. "LeMarc wanted to wipe out Charlie Town to send a message to the Rogues, and he needed a Praetorian to be the one to do it."
Camille lost control of her limbs as Vesyon spoke, slouching against him on the smooth surface of the wooden platform. It felt like all the air in the world had disappeared, and she was left to gasp in a gaping void. The Praecollection that assaulted her as he spoke wasn't gentle; image after image of screaming, bleeding Asperians flipped through her memory like a running marathon of gore as the words slipped into the air.
"Something happened after LeMarc set you loose on Charlie Town. Something I still don't understand and can't explain. I doubt LeMarc knew what would happen. The entirety of Charlie Town was destroyed, and when I finally found you, you were..."
Camille gasped on a sharp intake of breath, barely able to keep down her dinner as the images took over and she was lost to them. "I was what?" She pressed her eyes closed as tightly as they would go and still the past assaulted her. Vesyon wrapped both arms around her, rocking her back and forth as he spoke.
"You were kneeling in the town square covered in blood. You were holding the hand of a little boy; he must've died only minutes prior."
Camille clutched at her chest as an aching cry escaped her throat. She could see it as though she was transported back in time. The little boy, his face ashen against the red splotches dotting his cheeks and neck. Eyes wide in fear and horror, the last moments of his short life having slipped through the wide gash in his throat. Hot tears streamed down her face as she stared at the lifeless body trying to understand what she'd done.
"How? Why?" Camille said struggling to find her way back to the present. "I don't understand how I could have done this?"
Vesyon cupped her face in his warm, calloused hands, a river of tears running down her cheeks. She blinked several times as Vesyon's face came into clear focus. "It's not your fault Camille," he said with stern determination. The pad of his thumb ran over her cheekbone moving back and forth in a line of heat. "It's not your fault," he repeated, his voice soft and tender.
His fingers found their way into her hair, brushing the flyaway back familiarly and soothingly. Her tears began to slow, and the flashes of Charlie Town lessened as she focused on the warmth of his touch against her skin, the gentle way he kneaded at the tightening knots in her neck and shoulders, and the soothing notes of his voice.
"Despite the tragedy of Charlie Town, you uncovered a truth that changed everything," Vesyon continued, kissing the crown of her head multiple times.
Her heart fluttered madly to change directions, to comprehend Vesyon's explanation, but it was slow, trudging work.
"LeMarc never wanted to destroy the Chimera virus. He was the distributor. He used Praetorians to remove those that would challenge his right to retain power. It was never his intention to protect the people and give them a future of growth and rebuilding. His desire has always been to rule not just Aspera but all five sh
ores, all Kingdoms. He was going to use us Praetorians to make his desire a reality. The Chimera virus was a means to an end. Instill fear in your subjects, and they will follow you blindly without question."
"This tyranny can't continue," she stated simply.
Vesyon smiled slightly, a ghostlike action that dwindled away as quickly as it surfaced. Everything about the conversation ripped at Camille's conscience, and her hands gripped tight to Vesyon's as the past threatened to take over again. She focused on the image of their fingers intertwined and the strange reassurance she felt in running her thumb in a small circle over his knuckles. She wasn't alone in her struggle to push the past away; she could hear the depth of pain in his voice as he spoke. She wasn't the only one to experience something horrible that long-ago night. Vesyon was battling his own swarm of demons.
"The Chimera and Charlie Town, how do they fit in with this rebellion?" Camille questioned.
Vesyon took another deep breath and leaned his head against hers. It felt comfortable and secure, unlike the storm of nerves and emotion that bloomed in her stomach when Theo got too close. She didn't back away but instead embraced it.
"In following LeMarc's orders, you discovered the truth of his plan, the lies and deceit he'd spread. The rebellion began because you allowed us to see the ugly truth of his intentions. LeMarc has never been, nor will he ever be for the people. His actions are to further his agenda, nothing more."
Camille rolled this new information around, filling in the gaps of her memory with facts instead of shifting flashes. It helped her regain some control over the raw red welts of pain inflicted on her overly sensitive emotions.
"Camille—you have to understand what it is we're dealing with. LeMarc demands power, control, and he's convinced he has the divine right to rule the five shores and the five Kingdoms within them. He singlehandedly destroyed more than half of Aspera's population to gain balance over those against his rule and those willing to fight for his cause. The problem has never been his determination to grow his power, it was that he murdered hundreds of innocents to achieve it, and no one was willing to step forward and accuse him of his crimes. Fear has run this kingdom for far too long and it's time we fight to take it back."
Vesyon readjusted his shoulders, causing Camille to lift her head. Their faces were a breath apart as his stare glided from her eyes to her hair, and finally her lips. He leaned in close, so close that she could smell the rich musk of his skin, the salty cedar, smoky tobacco, and sweet pine. His forehead connected with hers in a light tap of needed contact before he pulled away, grabbing his pipe and putting significant distance between them.
He prepped the pipe end again, appearing desperate for a reason not to look at her as he spoke. "Fear is what kept Asperians blind to the truth," he went on. "They didn't want to see what was truly there, and they didn't want to fight an enemy who'd cause more pain and destruction."
He seemed flustered and agitated, but she wasn't sure if it stemmed from what he was telling her or because of the intimacy they'd just shared. For some reason, she didn't feel troubled or uncomfortable, only intrigued by the difference in how his closeness affected her compared to the riot of emotion Theo caused.
"When LeMarc realized our intentions after the fall of Charlie Town, he spread the rumor that Praetorians were dangerous. The slaughter was blamed on uncontrollable anger, a symptom of being a Praetorian: blood rage. Of course, it's ridiculous," Vesyon snorted in annoyance. "We knew LeMarc forced you to kill those innocent people. But unfortunately, Praetorians aren't immune to human emotion, and when something like grief, anger, or love is strong, it can be crippling to the point of insanity."
"Praetorians feel emotion differently?"
Again, Vesyon smirked, his glance slicing back up to her face to assess her features as though trying to figure her out. "It's not my expertise, but from what I understand it's a chemical imbalance within our Praetorian system. We don't feel it differently, just more intensely. The Praetorian virus we were given when chosen by the High King stripped our brains of specific regulating hormones, so we have no controlled base level of emotion. When we're sad, we're crippled with depression, when we're happy, we're ecstatic, and when we're angry, we're filled with rage. We're taught to accept and handle these emotions in our preliminary training when becoming a Praetorian, but there's always a breaking point. Somehow, LeMarc was able to find yours."
"Which was what?" Camille asked, uncertain of whether Vesyon would tell her.
His grey eyes found hers, the depths brimming with wariness before he spoke. "Your mother," he said, glancing away toward the misty treetops. "He told you your mother had been murdered by a riot in Charlie Town."
Camille's insides coiled sharply at his mention of a woman she couldn't remember, a face she couldn't place. "Everything that happened in Charlie Town was a reaction to extreme emotion?"
"Not necessarily," Vesyon said with a sharp shake of his head. "You would've been able to control basic emotional turmoil, but you were compromised. You should've never been allowed to go to Charlie Town alone in search of your mother, and LeMarc knew this. He used the absence of her against you, using the immense pain to manipulate you into wanting to obliterate that village and every Asperian living there," Vesyon said vehemently.
Camille knew he was trying to make her see that the destruction she'd caused wasn't solely her fault, but it was hard to believe. "After LeMarc spread the word of this blood rage, what happened to the Praetorians?"
"We were exiled, deemed unworthy of protection and dangerous to all Asperians. It was a load of shiat; we'd been trained from day one to control our emotions. Most Praetorians fled to the western lands, the Kingdom of Olin, but some stayed to fight back. Chimera ran rampant in the villages, and LeMarc wasn't about to abandon his desire for continued growth throughout the kingdoms."
Camille glanced up, searching through the impenetrable façade plastered on Vesyon's face. It was evident he hadn't stayed solely to fight against the High King; he had ulterior motives. His eyes remained clouded, the truth hidden behind his many walls of protection. It was impossible not to feel intrigued by him despite the tremor of hesitancy regarding what she'd find if she dug deep enough.
His eyes cut back to her, aware that she was staring at him. "That's what started the rebellion," he said, his eyes seemingly unable to leave her face. "It's time we fight back. We've slowly been building a Rogue army to take back what's ours."
Her brows lifted quizzically. "And what is that?"
Vesyon smiled genuinely for the first time all night, his lips pulling apart with pure happiness. "Freedom for Aspera and those who want to live as we once did. Returning to the peaceful existence we had before LeMarc destroyed it. We're fighting for our right to live."
She couldn't help but return the smile; it was an infectious thought. "Sounds nice. Are we just going to walk out there and kill the High King?"
Vesyon laughed at this, a happy, bubbling sound. He was quite attractive when the light of humor touched the grey of his eyes Camille thought with absolute wonder. "No, no we can't do that. That's why we're building an army. We need numbers more than anything. We need strong fighters, and this compound has helped us build our strength over the years."
Camille eyed him with interest; something in his tone suggested he was about to tell her something she didn't want to hear. "I have a feeling I'm not going to like where you are going with this."
Vesyon kept going as though she hadn't said a word. "It's been made clear to us that LeMarc is sending his King Regent and an army of Equestrians our way. They will be here in twelve days. I need to make sure you understand the situation."
For a fraction of a second, Camille's body betrayed her with panic. She felt a swarming buzz fill her body, the terror of the Equestrian soldiers grabbing at her body so real in her mind that she could almost feel their rough hands against her skin.
"Camille?" Vesyon said, his eye filling with concern and dropping to his knees
in front of her. "Are you ok?"
He didn't touch her, didn't move to hold her, and she at once felt the desire to be held and yet didn't want to be touched. Shaking her head to push the memories out, Camille grasped Vesyon's outstretched hand and pulled his palm flush against her cheek.
"What exactly is the situation?" Camille asked, finding her strength again in his touch.
Vesyon's other hand found purchase against her bare cheek, and he pulled her face closer to his. "LeMarc can't win this time, Camille. I won't let him take you from me. The King Regent will rip you away from me if he gets the chance."
Camille moved her chin imperceptibly, unable to pull her gaze away from the fire in Vesyon's stare. "I don't want to hide; I want to be by your side. If the King Regent is coming to collect me, he'll leave empty handed—if he can even walk after I'm done with him."
His eyes slipped away from hers toward the foggy mountain horizon as his hands fell back to his sides and he stood, putting distance between them again. "He won't hesitate to take you as a prisoner if the opportunity allows it, and I can't let him do that. You're far too valuable and important. You understand?"
Camille held her tongue for a moment, picking invisible lint off her white shirt. "You don't want me to stand and fight?"
"I want you to be safe," he replied without pause. "You aren't ready for a full-blown attack against the Equestrians. If they get a hold of you, the game's over."
Camille's eyebrows scrunched as she struggled to maintain control. She had almost failed herself in the forest when the Equestrians had attacked them. Vesyon had a right to worry. His doubt pulled at her emotions and adrenaline, but she was able to stem the flow, pushing it back down to a manageable level. He was testing her.
"I feel like I have something to offer. I can fight; you've seen me do it," Camille urged as her fists bunched at her sides.
Vesyon smirked, seemingly unaffected by the raw passion in her tone. "I know you can. But I'm not sure how you'll react once you see Metus."
"I'm not weak!"