by Bailey B
As if Josh can read my thoughts, he leans in to yell over the music, “You are the most beautiful girl here.” He kisses my cheek with a whisper of a touch before pulling away. “Go with the guys, I’ll catch up in a minute.”
Hattie takes Josh’s place beside me as soon as he steps out of reach and takes my hand. “Come dance with me!”
“Oh, no.” I shake my head. “I’m liable to sprain my ankle in these shoes. You go. Have fun.”
Hattie juts her bottom lip out, faking disappointment, then turns on her heels. She skips to the dance floor and jumps into a line dance routine. I watch her for a second, trying to pick up the steps, but there’s too many kicks and turns. I was a gymnast for most of my childhood. I know how to count rhythm and can fall into a routine fairly easily, but watching Hattie out there makes my head spin.
I climb the three steps to where the pool tables are and find Sam and Landon engaged in a heated game of rock, paper, scissors by the dartboard. Landon wins, crushing Sam's scissors with his rock, so he throws first. He misses by a mile, sticking the dart into the drywall beside the board.
Josh appears a few minutes later, a large red drink with a miniature umbrella in one hand and what looks to be a Coke in his other. He hands me the red one. “You’ll like this.”
I look up at him, straw between my lips, and take a sip. He’s right, it's delicious, but my mind is miles away from my drink. It’s tumbling down the rabbit hole, wondering how he knows about whatever this drink is called, who he bought it for, and why he’s here with me?
Deep down, I know this could never work, not long term, but I can’t bring myself to walk away.
Our gazes hold a little too long for two people attracted to each other not to be doing something. My pulse drums in my ears and I wonder, Is he gonna kiss me again? Better yet, do I want him to kiss me again?
That’s a stupid question. Josh is the best kisser I’ve ever had. Granted I’ve only kissed three people, but he’s at the top of the list. I can only imagine what he’d be like in bed. My cheeks heat at that thought. I bet he’s great.
The slurping of my straw startles me. I look down at my empty cup wondering, Where’d it all go, and, Why am I thinking about sleeping with Josh?
“Josh!” Landon hollers across the pool table. He grabs two cues and holds one out for him to take.“Get in on this game.”
“Nah, man. I’m good.” Josh shakes his head and looks at my glass. He smirks then takes it from my hand. “I’m gonna grab her another drink.”
“Don’t be such a little bitch,” Landon counters. “She won’t mind. You don’t mind. Right, Layla?”
Do I want my date to leave me to play a game that takes his attention off of me? No, but these are his friends. I don’t want any resentment from them; or, worse, to have Josh feel like he has to hang out with me. “Of course not.”
“Be right back,” Josh yells over his shoulder as he walks down the steps to the bar.
I glance across the room and find Hattie, still doing her thing on the dance floor. I could watch her move for hours, laughing like she doesn’t have a care in the world, even when she messes up. I wish I could be that carefree.
I jump in my seat when someone touches my leg. Josh is back, quicker than I expected, with another red drink. I place the straw between my lips as soon as he hands it over and he smirks.
“Dude.” Landon throws his hands up in the air then points to the pool table.
I wrinkle my brows when I hear the slurping of my straw again. There’s got to be a hole at the bottom of this cup because there’s no way I sucked that down so fast. “Go on. I need to go to the bathroom anyway.”
“You’re the best.” Josh dips his head and kisses my lips. I don’t get time to relish them because he pulls away a fraction of a second later and turns towards Landon. “You’re going down, fucker.”
I wait in line, bouncing on my toes so not to think about the urgent need to pee, for about ten minutes before a stall opens. You’d think that a place as busy as this would have more than three toilets in the girl’s bathroom, but no.
As luck would have it, it’s the handicap one that’s free. I look behind me to see if there’s anyone who needs the oversized stall more than me, but everyone looks able bodied. Fuck it.
I take a quick tinkle and look down at the X as I wash my hands. The soap has already faded the black marker. If I scrub a little harder, the ink would barely be visible. I pump some more soap onto the back of my hand and work my fingernails in a circle over the foam. It takes a minute, but the X disappears. I smile into the mirror and fix my hair, proud that I’m no longer putting Josh in danger for contributing to a minor.
When I leave the restroom, Josh isn’t at the pool table with Landon. I glance around the game area, but can’t find him. Nervous needles creep down my spine, but I push them away. The last time my date disappeared, I caught him with his pants down. Literally. I wasn’t heartbroken. I didn’t love Ashley, but seeing the man who promised himself to me balls deep in another woman hurt. “Did you see where Josh went?”
Hattie, sweaty and out of breath from the dance floor, rubs an ice cube over the back of her neck and shakes her head. “I thought he was with you.”
“I was in the bathroom.” I bite my lip and look around again but don’t see him. Everything is fine. Josh isn’t Ashley. Give him the benefit of the doubt.
“Relax.” Hattie rests her hand on my arm. “That man is crazy about you. I doubt he went far.”
“I’m gonna go find him.”
Hattie gives me a wave, then goes back to cooling herself off. I circle the game area, making sure I didn’t miss him. Convinced he’s not up here, I step down to the main level. I walk around the dance floor and head towards the bar. Just when I think all hope is lost, I catch a glimpse of Josh, heading into a room marked employees only, with a gorgeous blonde.
“If you don’t come in there with me, I’ll tell my manager you’re buying drinks for a minor,” Amanda Harbrough demands.
I grit my teeth and follow her through a side door marked Employees Only because getting arrested would look worse on a first date than disappearing for a few minutes. Although, if either of the guys saw me duck into a breakroom with Amanda, any and all chances I have with Layla would be shot. Hattie’s taken a liking to her, which means they’ll bust my balls if Layla gets hurt.
I cross my arms as the door closes and glare. Amanda needs to realize that this is the last place on earth I want to be. Had I known she’d gotten a job at Cowboy’s, Layla and I never would have come here. “What do you want?”
Amanda smiles, gloating because, for the first time in weeks, I've done what she wants. She’s pretty with her bleached hair and dark eyeliner, but she knows that. Her confidence is what caught my attention a few months ago when she came onto me. Too bad she’s crazier than a sprayed roach. “You haven’t been returning my calls.”
“And?” I’d block her number if I could figure out how. I’m not technologically illiterate, like Mom, but every time Apple releases a new phone, Bret takes my phone, and upgrades both his and mine, not caring if I want something new. I’m handed something I don’t know how to use, but it makes him happy so I don’t complain. I’m not a lost cause; I can text, read emails, and work the four apps I use daily, but that’s about as far as my smartphone knowledge goes.
“And…” Amanda sets her hands over her flat stomach. “We have things we need to discuss.”
“We.” I point my finger between us, “don’t need to talk about anything. You…” I point at her, “need to leave me alone.”
I turn and grab the handle of the break room. I’ve entertained her bullshit long enough. That thing growing in her stomach isn’t mine. We slept together, twice, with condoms, and she is supposed to be on the pill. I’m more likely to win the lotto than to spawn a child with those odds. Besides, Amanda is about as well known around town as Kelly is, and it ain’t for her good looks.
“This baby is com
ing whether you like it or not, Josh!” she yells. “You can live in denial for seven more months, but I know what the paternity test is going to say, so get ready.”
I shake my head, more irritated than pissed. This is the reason I never bring girls home. Amanda may not know what the ranch looks like, but she knows it exists and she knows that it’s mine. I’d bet that baby belongs to some crackhead and she’s on her knees every night, praying it’s mine, because I’ve got a stable income.
“Until I see my name on a legal paternity test, not one of those drug store ones, leave me the fuck alone. We’re done.” I step into the bar and slam the door behind me, not that anyone can hear my tantrum over the music.
I stop at the bar before going back up to the pool tables. I need a drink and possibly a restraining order. The bartender hands me a Jack and Coke and I turn, leaning my elbows on the counter. I take a sip and almost spit it all over the guy walking past me. What the fuck?
I wasn’t gone long, ten minutes, tops. Nowhere near enough time for Layla to slip into someone else's arms on the dance floor. It’s not just the guy’s hand on her back that’s got me seeing red, nor is it the fingers he’s threaded through her hair. It’s his lips, pressed against hers, that makes me forget we’re at a bar and not a mudhole back home.
I push my way through the room, shoving people out of my way. I’m not nice about it, earning a few scowls and snide remarks. Someone even reaches for my shoulder, but I brush them off because all I can see is the back of Layla’s head, no longer kissing the person in front of her, and the top of the dude’s blonde locks.
I reach them and take Layla by the arm, pulling her out of the way because this guy is about to die. I ball my fist, but hesitate when I recognize the crooked nose and shit-eating-grin. “You son-of-a-bitch.”
Sam stumbles back a step, chuckling, when I shove him. “Took you long enough.”
“What the fuck?” I yell at neither of them and both of them at the same time. I thought Layla was different. She ignored me, shot me down, gave me hope that not every girl out there was spreading her legs as soon as a good looking dick came around. I run my hands through my hair, trying to figure out why I’m so pissed and what to do next. “Why the hell are you kissing him?”
Layla gasps and my tunnel vision widens enough for me to see her tear stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. They’re too red and puffy for her to have just started crying. Something happened. Shit.
Layla runs past me, her shoulder brushing against my arm as she disappears to God-knows-where. Sam steps closer, blocking me from chasing after her and points behind him. “That chick drove almost two hours to be with you tonight. She likes you, even if she won’t come out and say it yet. And what do you do?” He pauses, likely waiting for me to respond. When I don’t reply, he adds, “You decide to ignore her the moment Amanda shows up.”
“I don’t give two shits about Amanda.”
“Yeah?” Sam chortles. “Well you could have fooled me. Layla saw you sneak into a back room with her. I did too.”
I feel my frustrations boiling inside me. Tonight has gone to shit. Between the drama with Amanda and now this, I’m ready to throw in the towel and go home. If Sam wants to be with Layla so badly, she can stay at his house. I may like the girl, but I don’t play with cheaters. “Amanda was starting shit, as usual, but Layla came here with me and then kissed you. She was the unfaithful one, not me.”
I turn to leave, but Sam grabs my arm. “I convinced Layla to dance with me because she downed two shots of tequila faster than Landon finishes, and we both know his longest lay is three minutes. She was spiraling and that bartender was more than happy to enable her. I kissed her and she pulled back, more upset than before because she was worried someone would tell you. Even though she was hurting, she didn’t want to upset you. Then your shitty ass comes down here and starts acting like a jealous prick.” Sam pokes me in the chest with his finger. “Tighten up before I steal your girl for real.”
My stomach drops, the rage I felt only a moment ago replaced with shame. “Hell.” I run my hand through my hair and tug at the roots. I need to feel something, to make sure this isn’t some jacked nightmare. It’s not and the feeling of knowing anything I could have had with Layla is tumbling down the drain guts me. “I’m fucking this up, aren’t I?”
“Majorly.” Sam rests his hand on my shoulder and looks me in the eye. “But I think you’ve still got a chance, if you let Hattie run damage control.”
“That’s probably a good idea.” I sigh and pull Sam in and clap him on the shoulder. I have to tell Layla something if I want to save whatever this is we’ve got going, and Hattie will want answers too. “Thanks, man. Even though you’re a dick for kissing my girl, I appreciate you looking out.”
“Anytime.” Sam slaps me on the butt and turns toward the bar. “Now, go get her!”
Sitting on the sticky floor of the handicapped stall in the girl’s bathroom isn’t where I thought I’d end up tonight. Yet, here I am, crying my eyes out, ruining the makeup that I worked so hard to make perfect.
“Layla? Are you in here?” a voice echoes. “It’s Hattie.”
I suck in a breath, desperate to choke back my tears and be as quiet as possible. I don’t want to talk. I want to curl into a ball and disappear.
My first real date is a disaster. I didn’t think anything could be worse than going into anaphylactic shock in the middle of my parents country club the day they announced Ashley and I were in love, but this takes the cake.
With Ashely, I was worried about embarrassing my family and ruining the partnership they’d worked years to forge through us. Tonight, I feel naive and betrayed by both Josh and Sam.
“I know you’re in here. I can hear your sniffling.” Hattie pushes on the stall doors until she reaches the one I’m in. The lock clangs and rears against itself. She bends down, sticking her head under the door, and frowns. “Open up or I’m crawling under.”
I shift to stare at the cheap tile on the wall. I’m not moving until this bar closes and everyone leaves. I have exactly eighty-seven dollars in my bank account. That should be enough to get an Uber to Josh’s place, where I can grab my car and drive home. There’s nothing in that house I can’t live without. I’d rather replace everything in my backpack than see him again.
With a huff, Hattie crawls under the door and finds herself a place on the ground beside me. “Oh, God, I need a shower. This floor is nasty.” She wrinkles her nose and wipes her hands on her pants, as if that would magically make the germs disappear.
A laugh escapes me, but it’s choked by a sob. Hattie puts an arm around me and I let my head fall against her shoulder. She doesn’t try to talk. Instead, she sits there, letting me cry until I run out of tears.
“He likes you, a lot, you know.” She runs her fingers through the curls I struggled to make only a few hours ago. They tangle in the hairspray, pulling every now and then, but the pain reminds me that there’s more to me than an aching heart. So, I don’t mind.
“Who?”
“Josh.”
I shake my head, convinced anything that could have been between Josh and I is ruined. I bite my lip to ease the pain in my chest. I don’t know why this hurts so much. We’ve shared a handful of kisses, that’s all. “He probably thinks I’m a slut for kissing Sam.”
Hattie grips my shoulders and pushes me upright, forcing me to look at her. “First off, Sam is a dog. Everyone knows he can’t keep his hands to himself. And Josh wasn’t mad at you, just shocked. Although, I’ll admit, he should have handled himself better.”
“I don’t know.” I bury my face in my arms and ugly cry again. If knowing the mess I'm in was Sam’s fault was supposed to make me feel better, it doesn’t. I’m now just one of the many girls he’s kissed and passed on to his friends. Oh, god. I’m sloppy seconds!
“I’ve been around a while now,” Hattie says, rubbing my back. “I’ve never seen Josh try this hard. He made me watch him try on eight different
outfits today. Eight! All because he wanted to impress you.”
I sniffle and look up at her, the vice-grip on my chest loosening. I want him to like me, but I need him to tell me why he ran off with that chick. I refuse to be with someone who cheats. I deserve better.
“Josh has a lot on his plate.” Hattie wipes the tears from my cheeks with the back of her finger. “And believe me when I say I know he can be hot-headed and has a temper like no other, but Josh is the most amazing guy I’ve ever met. If I wasn’t with Landon, he’s one of the few men in this county I’d consider being with. Give him another chance.”
“What about that girl he disappeared with?”
Hattie pulls a handful of toilet paper from the dispenser beside her. She hands it to me so I can blow my nose. “She’s nothing but a snake. Trust me when I say you have nothing to worry about.”
“Layla?” Josh’s voice echoes in the bathroom. I freeze and stare at Hattie wide eyed. This is the girl’s bathroom, a sacred place, and he’s invaded it. I’m not ready.
“We're in here,” Hattie calls out. She pulls me to my feet and rubs her thumbs under my eyes. I probably look like I’ve gotten into a fight with a raccoon, but there’s not much that can be done. “I’ll stand guard,” she says, opening the stall door for him.
Josh hovers in the entryway of the stall with his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
I lean against the sink and cross my arms. I want to be mad or even feel the hurt I was drowning in only moments ago, but Josh looks like he’s been run over by a truck. I fight the urge to pull him into a hug, because all I want to do is make him feel better. It’s the mother hen complex in me. Stray dogs, lost cats, lizards without tails; I have a soft spot for them all. “Tell me about the girl.”