by Sadie Carter
Maybe she needed to get laid. Perhaps it was just that her vibrator wasn’t doing it for her anymore. Not that she’d had much interest in using it lately; she’d been too exhausted. So yeah, maybe what she needed was a good session between the sheets.
Where she was going to find someone who would give her that she had no idea. How long had it even been since she’d had sex?
“Female? Are you listening to me? What were you just thinking about?”
“Sex.”
He stared down at her. She should probably be embarrassed that she’d just blurted that out. But she was too tired. Not just physically but emotionally.
“You were thinking of sex?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
More blinking. More confused looks. “Why?”
She raised her eyebrows. “Why? Why does anyone think of sex? Don’t you think of sex?”
“I…ah…”
“Are you embarrassed to talk about sex?” Surprisingly, she wasn’t. She might have her hang-ups about lots of things, but sex wasn’t one of them. Not that she’d ever had much of an opportunity to get her some. It wasn’t like she’d ever had time to meet a man. And she couldn’t sleep with just anyone. Besides the fact that it was dangerous, most of the time when they’d been on-planet, she’d had an escort. And she could hardly pick up a guy with Jack or Tane around and just take him back to the ship.
So yeah, she hadn’t had much sex. And she kind of thought she was owed some.
“I am not embarrassed,” he said stiffly.
“You look a little embarrassed.”
“Why are we speaking of sex!” he said in a too-loud voice.
More silence from around them. She glanced over to find the line of people to her stall had grown.
“You asked me what I was thinking and I told you. I don’t like to lie.” Mind you, perhaps it hadn’t been her best idea to tell him the truth. He was looking rather strained.
He ran his hand over his face, looking tired. Concern filled her. He was the one who needed sleep, not her. His dark hair was getting quite long, and she knew he hadn’t the time to get it cut. He probably hadn’t even noticed how untidy it had become. His clothes were wrinkled. His pants had a stain on the thigh. Was he managing to do his laundry? Was he eating properly? Who would fill his autocooker if she wasn’t around…no, she couldn’t think about this. He wasn’t her problem.
He could look after himself.
“We have gotten off topic,” he stated.
They sure had. “Racar, I need to get back to work.”
He frowned. “Yes. As do I.”
“Then what do you want?” She tried for calm, but her voice came out more tired than anything else.
“I came here to get some food for myself and my assistants,” he said, sounding slightly confused.
“All right. What do you want?”
“Want?”
“Yes, what do you want?” She seemed to be repeating herself a lot.
“I…ah…”
“I can box you up a mix of things,” she offered, feeling sorry for him now. He looked very much out of his depth.
“Yes. But…I…that is not what I…”
“Yes?”
He shook his head, looked up at the sky then down to the ground. Odd. Muttered something to himself. It was too quiet for her to make out what he said.
“Female, you need to serve me now,” the Zerconian woman called out.
Racar scowled over at her.
“Do not even think about it,” she told him.
“Think about what?”
“Talking to her mate. She’s been waiting for a while. She has reason to be irritated.”
“That does not excuse rudeness.”
She moved closer to her stall and started to fill a box with a mix of goodies. She knew what his assistants liked; they were here every day. Was he seriously going to lecture someone else on being rude? “Really? What does excuse rudeness? Being so caught up in your work that you do not notice other people doing things for you?”
He stared down at her. “Female—”
“Here is your food.” She handed him the box of food.
He scowled down at it. “Female—”
“Hope your assistants enjoy it. They’re some of my best customers. Have a nice day.” She congratulated herself on the lack of emotion in her voice. She’d embarrassed herself enough around him for a lifetime.
She turned to the Zerconian woman, who just frowned at her and spat out her order. She was aware Racar had not moved, was just staring at her. But she decided ignoring him was the best idea.
“Female, you do not tell me what I can or cannot do. You do also not ignore me when I speak to you.”
She didn’t reply. But she could feel his displeasure coming off him in waves, battering at her. She didn’t have the energy for this. She braced herself for the storm that was coming. To her surprise, she felt him move away. She let out a small sigh of relief.
At least she told herself it was relief. And not disappointment.
“Hello, I’ll be with you in a minute.” Ellie forced herself to smile at the Zerconian woman standing in front of her stall. It was the same woman from a few days ago when Racar had paid a visit to her stall. Gerlica. Customers had been coming earlier and earlier, so she now opened a good half an hour before the rest of the market stalls did.
“Ellie. It is Ellie, is it not?” the woman said.
“Yes.”
“I am Gerlica.”
“Um, hello.” This was new. None of the Zerconian women ever introduced themselves or seemed to care who she was.
“I have come to apologize.”
“Apologize?”
“Yes, I have been made aware that my manner has not been to a satisfactory standard when speaking to you.”
Okay, this was the weirdest apology ever.
“It’s fine, don’t worry.” Obviously, Racar had made good on his promise and spoken to this woman’s mate. That ass. And now Gerlica had been made to come apologize.
Awesome.
“But I do worry. So I have bought a peace offering.” She held up a small bottle. In it was a purple-tinged liquid. “This is a drink that I personally make with the berries of a laguin bush.”
“Oh wow. That’s nice of you. Thank you.” She reached up to take the bottle.
“I would like you to drink it now,” the woman said.
“Umm.”
“Please.” She smiled stiffly. “It would mean I know you forgive me for my earlier behavior.”
“Sure. Okay.” If it meant getting rid of her, then she guessed it was worth it. She opened the top of the bottle and took a long drink. It was actually delicious, not too sweet and rather refreshing on such a hot day. She ended up drinking the whole thing.
“Thanks. That was really good.”
“Oh, it was my pleasure.” The smile seemed more genuine now. Not that they were suddenly going to become best friends, but Ellie felt herself warm to the other woman slightly.
Perhaps Zerconian women weren’t that bad after all.
5
She carefully carried the tray of lasagna. It wasn’t true lasagna, of course. She’d had to adapt the recipe, but it tasted pretty damn good. She wished she’d brought some extra towels to carry it. Already she could feel the hot dish burning her hands. She was meeting up with everyone for dinner at Blue and Safan’s place. Tane had offered to come by and help her, but she’d told him she would be fine.
But she was running late and couldn’t let the lasagna cool down, so now she was hurrying along the path with a hot dish in her hands. A wave of dizziness caught her unaware. She stopped for a moment, resting the plate on the ground. She leaned over, placing her hands on her thighs as she took some long, slow breaths, trying to get her head to stop spinning. What was going on? She hadn’t felt great for the last few days, but she’d just put it down to fatigue.
A noise had her turning. What was that? Suddenly, she saw somethi
ng furry bouncing its way towards her. She took a step back then realized it was just Giz, the Empress’s pet. She wasn’t certain what sort of creature he was, but he resembled a giant teddy bear.
Giz stopped in front of her, chattering away. She had no idea how much he understood, but as she went to speak to him, a wave of nausea rushed over her. She went hot then cold. Oh crap, she was going to vomit.
She turned, stumbling away and falling to her hands and knees as she started to vomit. Spasm after spasm wracked her body. The meager amount of food she’d eaten today didn’t take long to come back up and then she was just dry heaving.
Finally, the spasms died down. She weakly moved so she was sitting on her bottom. Maybe she should just head home. She obviously had the flu and she didn’t want to infect anyone else.
She climbed slowly to her feet and turned to grab the lasagna. She froze as she saw a giant teddy bear with its face buried in her dish.
“Giz!” she yelled.
He looked up, chattered at her, then picked up the dish and bounced away
“Hey! Hey, where do you think you are going? Come back here!” she yelled out.
This was not happening. This could not be her life. It really couldn’t be.
“Come back here! Giz!” She tried to run after him. But she was exhausted, and despite his much shorter legs, he easily sped away from her. Her heart raced, her breath coming in sharp pants. Another wave of dizziness assaulted her. Shit. She’d taken a pain inhibitor before leaving the house in order to help fight off the headache that had been pounding at her all day, but it didn’t seem to be working. Sharp jabs of pain stabbed her head.
Finally, she came to a stop, collapsing to her hands and knees. She just knelt there, trying to calm her breathing, her racing heart. Her head felt like it was going to roll right off her head. What was wrong with her? She collapsed onto her side.
Help…
She needed help…
Please…
That last thought came just as blackness overtook her.
Racar paced back and forth in his office.
What was wrong with him?
He couldn’t concentrate on work. He couldn’t concentrate on anything. He had this overriding sense of urgency demanding that he do something…but what? What was wrong? What was going on?
Ellie.
Go to Ellie.
What the stars? Why would he go see the red-haired female? She was infuriating. Argumentative. Emotional.
Gorgeous. Sweet.
No. He would not think of her. He had far more important things to do than deal with her.
Ellie.
Go to Ellie.
Danger.
He froze. He did not know how he knew. Did not even question it. But he knew she was in trouble. He was out the door of his office without another thought. He used his communicator to contact Safan. Why did he not know her frequency?
Because you do not like her.
Like her? No, he did not like her. She was a very strange female with her mood swings. She got angry over the strangest things.
And yet, he could not get her out of his mind.
“Racar?” Safan answered. “What is it? I am about to have dinner with my family.”
He guessed by family, he meant Blue, although he could hear people talking in the background. A female laughed. “I need to contact Ellie. Give me her frequency.”
He did not have time to waste.
“No.”
He paused and realized he was nearly at Ellie’s house. “What do you mean, no?”
He didn’t hear no often. And when he was told no, he usually did not take it well. “I need her frequency.”
“Why?”
He ground his teeth together. “Because I do.”
“If you need to tell her something, you can tell me. I will decide whether to pass it on.”
“You will decide whether to pass it on?” What the stars was happening? “I do not wish you to speak to her of anything. I wish to speak to her myself. Give me her frequency.”
“No.”
Temper flared hot and nasty. He tried to breathe through it. To bring it back under control. This was not him. He knew that months of little sleep was not helping his control. Still, he should be able to do better than this. He breathed out then in. Big, noisy breaths.
“Racar? Are you well?”
“I must speak with her.”
“Why? So, you can berate her? Or to use her again?” Safan growled.
“Use her? I have never used her!”
“For weeks, she did everything for you and you did not once even acknowledge her.”
“I did not know!” he thundered. He did not need this right now.
“That is no excuse. Ellie is my family. I protect those who belong to me. I was going to come and speak to you of this in the morning. Stay away from her. I will not condone you upsetting her anymore. And if you wish to speak to her of anything, you come through me.”
There was silence in the background now, as though all of his guests were listening in on this conversation.
“Is that Racar?” he heard Blue ask.
“Yes.”
“Good. Tell him to stay away from Ellie. She’s got enough on her plate. She doesn’t need him upsetting her.”
Upsetting her?
Of course, you have upset her. He knew that. But it did not mean he liked it. He did not like seeing tears in her eyes. He also did not like how fatigued she had appeared the other day. Or the fine sheen of sweat that had coated her too-pale skin. Something was eating at his stomach, telling him that she needed help.
That she needed him.
But she didn’t want his help. She had obviously told Safan this. And he was stepping in, as his right as her closest Zerconian male.
“I need to protect her, Racar,” Safan said in a surprisingly soft voice. “You understand this. Ellie is sometimes too sweet and kind for her own good. She needs someone to protect her when she cannot do it for herself.”
Yes, he was coming to see that. He hadn’t before.
But what he was also coming to understand was that he felt jealous. Jealous that Safan got to be the one to take care of her.
That is my job.
No. No, it was not. He did not have time for this. He had other, more important things to do.
“You do not have to worry. I will have nothing to do with her from now on.”
“Good. Glad we understand each other.”
Racar ended the communication and turned to walk back to the medical center. Up ahead he saw Giz headed towards him. In his hands, he carried a tray of something. Was that some sort of food? He guessed it was as he saw the remains of whatever it was clung to the fur around the beast’s mouth.
“Giz, what do you do out here? Where is the Empress?” he demanded, even though he knew the beast could not answer him.
Giz let out a high-pitched noise that made Racar wince. Then he dropped the dish with a clang. Racar frowned. Why did that dish look familiar to him?
A memory stirred. He seemed to recall eating something from a dish that looked similar to that several weeks ago. Something Ellie had made for him? Safan was right. He had used her. Shame filled him. Not only that, but he had not treated her well.
Giz bounded up to him then away.
“Giz, come, I shall return you to the Empress.” If something happened to her beloved pet, the Empress would be most upset. He walked towards the palace where the Emperor and Empress lived, expecting Giz to follow. Instead, he bounced down a different path.
“Giz! Giz, I do not have time to chase after you.” He let out an irritated breath as Giz disappeared. He followed him a few steps, turned the corner, and saw the furry beast standing there, peering back as though waiting for him.
“Giz, I am not going any further. I am going home.” Well, back to his lab, which was like home nowadays. Maybe he should actually go home for once. Get some clean clothes. He was turning to walk away, when Giz appeared
beside him. The creature reached out, grabbing his arm in a surprisingly hard grip and then bit him.
He let out an outraged yell. The creature bounced back, chattering at him angrily. “What did you do that for?” he demanded. He glanced down at his arm. The skin looked red and angry, but hadn’t been broken.
Before he could growl at the creature again, it bounced back down the path. As he stood there, it moved back towards him. He could swear the beast was trying to tell him something. But what exactly?
“Do not even think about biting me again,” he commanded with his fiercest scowl. “It would not take much to turn you into a furry rug for my floor.”
An empty threat, of course. He had no wish to face the Empress’s wrath for harming her beloved pet. And it was not as though the creature actually understood what he said.
Nevertheless, it made him feel better.
The creature moved down the path again. What was it doing? Giz turned back to face him, and the noises he made sounded angry. With a sigh, he headed towards the furry beast.
“What do you wish? Whatever it is, it best be good. If you are making me wander around for no reason, I am going to be most…” His words trailed off as he spotted someone slumped on the ground ahead of him.
Not moving.
Lying there. Not moving. Red hair spilled around her. Pale limbs sprawled out. His heart leapt into his throat. His stomach tightened sickeningly.
No. No. Please. She could not be dead.
He raced down the slope towards her. He was moving so fast, he nearly raced past her. As he stopped, he came close to falling, so frantic was his need to get to her.
“Ellie! Ellie!” Please, let her be alive!
He knew he should contact Safan. Should call through to the medical center to alert them. Instead, he reached out with a shaking hand to feel for her pulse.
Please, let her be alive. He would do anything, give anything for her to be alive.
Right at that moment, nothing was more important to him.
As he touched her too-hot skin, a spark of awareness ran up his hand. Dizziness assaulted him. Passion. Fire. Need. Such need that it stole his breath.