by Sadie Carter
“I cannot have your mouth on me tonight. I am too close to the edge of my control. And I wish to be inside you when I find my release. I wish to make you mine.”
“Yes. Yes.” This was what she had been waiting for all this time. To be completely his.
He rolled off the bed and she let out a noise of protest, trying to follow him.
He held out a hand. “Stay right there. I am going to take off my clothes. I want you to spread your legs and touch your clit lightly with your finger.”
“What? Really?”
Holy hell. Who knew he’d be so kinky? She’d only ever slept with men who wanted to get inside her as quickly as possible so they could come. Often, she hadn’t even orgasmed. But Racar seemed interested in driving her nuts before he even got inside her.
“Yes. Now.”
She obeyed the command in his voice, reaching down to lightly touch her clit. It was still sensitive from that amazing orgasm. “I won’t be able to come again.” She felt like she should warn him in case he was thinking otherwise.
By now, he had his shirt off and she froze, staring at him with hunger and need. His chest was a work of art. Chiseled. Defined.
And he was all hers.
“Keep touching yourself,” he commanded. “And why can you not find release again?”
He reached for his pants, stripping them down, revealing his thick, long cock. Holy shit. She’d known it would be large, she’d felt it pressed against her often enough. But seeing it was something else.
He was magnificent. All muscle and tanned skin. Her mouth went dry, all other thoughts leaving her mind except for the need to touch him, lick him all over.
“Mate? Did you hear me?”
“What? Huh? Oh, right, yeah, I can never come more than once a night.”
“Is that so?” he drawled.
“Yeah. It’s okay, though. That was the most amazing orgasm I’ve ever had.”
He came and lay on his side next to her. He placed his hand over her hand. The one that was on her pussy. He brushed her finger aside so he could toy with her clit himself. Bending slightly, he placed a light kiss on her lips. “First of all, you will have more than one orgasm, I shall expect nothing less. Secondly, I told you not to stop. That was rather naughty to disregard my orders.” He scrapped his teeth across her nipple and she arched up.
“Racar!”
“Wasn’t it?”
“Please!”
“Wasn’t it naughty, my mate?” he asked.
“Yes. Yes,” she sobbed.
He rolled to his back, taking her with him. She lay sprawled on top of him. “I wish you to straddle my head. I have not had enough of tasting you.”
“W-what?” He couldn’t be serious.
His gaze narrowed as he stared up at her. Oh, he was completely serious. Shit, she was so out of her depth.
She slid her way up his body, placing her legs on either side of his head, kneeling over him. He reached up and grasped hold of her hips. She fell forward, so she was on her hands and knees. Then his tongue lightly touched her clit. She gasped.
“Oh hell.”
He flicked at the tight bundle of nerves until arousal flooded her body. The need to come shook her body. Just as she was close to reaching that peak once more, he slid his tongue lower, thrusting it into her passage.
“Racar!”
She wiggled her hips, wanting more, needing it. Suddenly, he rolled them again. This time, he had positioned himself over her, his weight resting on his hands and knees.
“Place your legs around me, my mate,” he ordered.
She wrapped her legs around him as the head of his cock nudged at her entrance.
“Relax,” he told her. “I know I am big, but you were made for me.” He moved slowly, not thrusting forward, taking care with her as he always did.
“Kiss me,” she whispered. She had waited so long for this. Their first kiss. She knew it was going to sizzle.
He leaned in and took her mouth with his. His tongue brushed her lips and she opened for him as he pushed his way inside her. And world went on fire. Everything else faded. There was only him. Penetrating her. Kissing her. Making her his.
A sense of rightness fell over her as he kissed her, drunk from her. She felt stretched, full, but it wasn’t painful. He was right. She was made for him. His tongue played with hers as he seated himself fully. He rested there for a minute, letting them both adjust. Then he drew back. Drove forward.
“Oh fuck, yes!” she cried out. Nerves endings danced, sweat coated her body as he rode her. She held on tight, meeting thrust with thrust. Her orgasm rushed at her. This couldn’t be happening again. The pleasure was undeniable, though. The need. He reached between them and flicked at her clit.
“My mate, I cannot last much longer. Not this first time. You feel too good. Hot. Wet.”
“Come, Racar. Come with me.” Her release rushed over her. She clenched down around him as he let out a cry. He threw his head back, the muscles in his neck tense as he roared his release.
He collapsed on top of her then quickly rolled away, pulling her with him so she lay on top of him. He was still inside her. She loved that. Never wanted him to leave her. She laid her head against his chest, panting heavily.
“That was amazing.”
“It was.”
Then she felt him tense beneath her. She leaned up on her elbows. “What is it?”
“Do you feel all right?” he asked.
“Racar, honestly, I feel so much better. Stop fussing.”
“No, I mean…you do not feel dizzy?”
It was her turn to tense as it hit her. She knew from Blue and Safan’s mating, that human women usually fainted after the first time they had sex with their mate. Something to do with the mating bond falling into place.
“There’s no mating bond?” she whispered. It was her nightmare come true. He was wrong. He wasn’t really hers.
“No.” He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, they were no longer amber in color but a blue-green once more.
“Why didn’t the mating bond happen? Am I not your mate?” She whispered the question she most dreaded the answer to.
He’d been wrong. Panic filled her. How could he be wrong?
“Ellie. Ellie, stop. It is all right.” He rolled so they were on their sides, facing one another. He wrapped her up in his embrace. His touch chased away the panic that had threatened to pull her under.
“How can it be all right? I’m not your mate. You were wrong.” She started to struggle. She needed to leave.
“Ellie, stop. Listen to me.” His voice was as stern as she’d ever heard it. “You are my mate. I am not wrong.”
“Then what happened?”
“I do not know, but there could be many reasons. Maybe because you are not fully recovered. The bond does not act the same for everyone. Perhaps it will come next time we join. Perhaps it is there, but we cannot feel it yet. You are mine. I promise you that.”
“Okay.” She didn’t know whether to believe him, but he sounded so sure.
“We do not fully understand the mating bond between humans and Zerconians yet.” He ran his hand through her hair. “I am not wrong.”
“Okay.” Her panic started to fade.
He studied her features. “You believe me.”
“Yes, I believe you.” Mostly.
“Good. I am going to get a cloth to clean you up. Stay here.”
He moved away and that feeling of safety left with him. She shivered, feeling unsure. A little lost. He stared down at her, his gaze narrowed. “Ellie, you are mine. I will not ever let you go. No matter what.”
A little of that coldness went away.
“Okay.”
11
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Blue stormed her way into the small apartment that belonged to Racar. Behind her, the others walked in, concern on their faces.
As soon as Racar left for work, she’d sent out a message to them all, asking t
hem to come if they could.
She frowned slightly. “I didn’t think you’d all come. Jack, Keely, don’t you guys have work?” The others had more flexible schedules.
Keely waved her hand around. “Mila will be fine with me coming in late.”
“I’m not due in for another hour,” Jack told her.
“What is it, baby girl? What’s wrong?” Tane asked.
“Oh, well…” Now that they were all here, she didn’t know if she could say it. In fact, she felt a little silly for having them all rush over. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“Ellie, we know you,” Jack told her. “You don’t send out messages like that for no reason.”
“What happened?” Blue asked. “Did you guys mate last night?”
She shook her head.
“Ellie, what’s wrong?” Marc asked her.
She sent him a sad smile. “I’m not mated. We slept together last night, but the mating bond didn’t come into place. I’m not his mate.”
“But I don’t understand,” Keely stared at her in shock.
“He said he was your mate,” Jack stated.
“I know.” She swallowed heavily. “He still says he’s my mate. He said the mating bond might be doing something different with us. Or maybe it’s because I’m still recovering.”
“Well, that could be it,” Blue said with false cheerfulness.
She placed a hand on her tummy, feeling ill. “What if he’s wrong? What if I’m not his mate?”
Keely knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his. “Do you love him?”
“Yes.”
“Then don’t give up hope. Not yet. He seems pretty sure of himself. I’m sure he’s right. Maybe the mating bond just needs time to kick in. It will happen, babe.”
“Yeah, sure. Of course it will. You’re right, I won’t give up.”
But she was aware of the worried looks they shared.
She was losing all hope. Three weeks had passed since they’d first slept together and no mating bond. For the first week, they’d had sex every day, sometimes more than once a day. Then, the second week, it had dropped to every second or third day.
Now he hadn’t touched her in five days.
She took a deep breath, trying to still the panic bubbling in her stomach. He was wrong. She wasn’t his. She should never have believed him.
He’d given her hope.
She sobbed out a breath then forced herself to calm. Getting upset wasn’t going to help. Racar still insisted that she was his. He hadn’t given up yet; she shouldn’t either.
But he was spending less and less time with her. He was at his research lab more often. A lot of nights she went to sleep without him, and when she woke up, he was already gone. Other nights, he didn’t come home at all.
And her worry grew.
Go to him. Tell him what you need. Tell him you need him.
She knew that Racar tended to lose himself in work. She had to be more understanding. She ran her hand over her face, none of this was helping. She needed some fresh air, to get out of this apartment and away from her worries. Grabbing the basket she used for shopping, she set out for the marketplace. She’d taken over all the cooking and housework. In the beginning, he’d told her how much he appreciated that.
Now, he seemed to be back to taking it for granted.
“He’s a busy man, Ellie.”
“Ellie!”
She turned in surprise as she heard a voice call out to her. Gerlica walked towards her, a smile on her face. It wasn’t normal to see the other woman smile. The tall Zerconian female tended to be very serious.
“Gerlica, how are you?” she asked politely.
“Oh, very well. And you?”
“I’m well too,” she lied. She didn’t even feel bad about it. For some reason, she didn’t want the other woman knowing how she was truly doing. “I was just heading to the market.”
“Oh, I am walking that way. I’ll walk with you.”
Yippee.
“I was going to invite you and Racar to our house for dinner,” Gerlica said suddenly.
“Oh, well, that’s nice.” And surprising.
“Our mates are friends; I thought we could be too. Oh,” she gasped, holding her hand over her mouth. “I am sorry. I did not mean to cause you pain.”
She frowned. What did she mean? “What? You didn’t hurt me.”
“Oh good.” She placed her hand on her chest. “I thought you might be sensitive over the fact that Racar is not actually your mate.”
Ellie stilled and turned to look at the woman. “Who told you that?”
“Is it supposed to be a secret? I do apologize. Racar told my mate. It is such a shame. The two of you seemed so well matched. I was surprised you were still living with him. Will you move out when he finds his real mate?”
Pain filled her. She hadn’t even thought about that. That if she wasn’t his mate then someday, he might meet his mate and Ellie would be alone.
“I think I will walk to the market on my own,” she told the other woman. There were other things she could say, should say, but she just couldn’t think of them. She was too hurt. Too sad.
“Of course. I will contact you some time to see about that dinner.”
Yeah, she’d go to dinner with that witch when hell froze over.
She stood in the doorway of his office and stared at Racar as he worked. She didn’t usually visit him here at the research lab. She didn’t want to interfere in his work.
Tell him how scared you are. How worried. How much you need him.
But he’s not mine.
And yet, she couldn’t seem to let him go. She should. She should move from his apartment. Tell him that she wanted him to be happy. With his mate. But she just wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
She took in a shuddering breath. The conversation with Gerlica had really upset her the other day. She wasn’t sure if that had been the other woman’s intention or not. Not that it mattered.
She felt ashamed that she wasn’t strong enough to leave him. To let him find happiness with someone else.
“Racar?”
Nothing.
That pain inside her grew. She stepped forward. “Racar!”
He looked up from his work with a frown. Then his face cleared. “Ellie. What are you doing here?”
Ellie. Not mate. Not sunshine. The hurt grew.
“Is everything all right?”
She forced a smile. “It’s fine.”
It really, really wasn’t.
“I just wanted to remind you that we’ve got a celebration to go to tonight. Tane’s birthday, remember? We’re going to Blue and Safan’s for dinner.”
“Oh. Yes.” He grimaced. “Would it matter if I did not attend? I have a lot to do here.”
She plastered a big smile on her face. “Of course. I understand.”
He moved forward, pulled her into his arms, and kissed her forehead, much like you might kiss your sister. “Thank you. You are always so understanding.”
Yes, she was. That was her. Understanding. Patient.
And on the inside, she was falling apart.
12
He’d found it. He’d found a way to prolong the human females’ lives.
He’d found the cure.
And in the strangest place he would ever have thought. He raced into the palace, heading towards the Emperor and Empress’ private rooms. He could have called them. Could have waited until morning. But he had worked so long for this, sacrificed so much to get here.
And now he had the answer.
And is it worth the sacrifices you’ve made? Is it worth your mate?
He strode along the passage. Ellie would understand, Ellie always understood. Especially once he told her that it was because of her that he’d found the cure.
He hoped he’d also found the reason why their mating bond hadn’t kicked in.
He approached the two guards standing outside the doors leading to the royal couple’s private rooms. “I nee
d to speak to the Emperor.”
Matrix raised an eyebrow. “At this time of night?”
“It’s important. It’s about my research.”
He nodded and, raising the communicator around his wrist, spoke quietly into it. Then he lowered his wrist. “You can go in.”
He walked into the large sitting room and looked around, unable to see the Emperor. Then he heard a puffing noise and walked further inside, spotting the Empress trying to slide her way towards the edge of the couch. Her large stomach hindered her movements, her face red and slightly sweaty.
“What’s wrong? Haven’t you ever seen a hugely pregnant woman try to get up?”
“Empress, do you need some help?” he asked, worried about how exhausted she appeared.
He stepped forward.
“Help? What I need is a crane. It’s the only thing that can move my enormous ass around,” she complained. He caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes and panic filled him.
“Where is the Emperor? Where is Boris or Nassir?” Her bodyguard and his wife were never far from the Emperor.
“Boris and Nassir have gotten the night off from Zoey-babysitting. Figured I better give them some time off before Boris started to contemplate ways to kill me and get away with it.”
“I am certain that is not true.”
“Of course it’s not true. They love me. What’s not to love? I’m grouchy, sweaty, achy, and moody. I’m a complete and utter joy to be around.”
Well, he would not go that far. But it was not a good idea to disagree with the Empress. Especially when she was pregnant. They had all learned that with her first pregnancy.
“I cannot believe I still have three months to go! I’m enormous, look at me!” She had stilled as she spoke, but now started to heave herself up. “Why do they make these damn couches so low?”
Racar reached out a hand to her, and she slid her slightly clammy hand into his. He pulled her up, holding her steady as she wobbled slightly.
“Where is the Emperor?”
“Huh, you’ve got that panicked look that everyone gets when they spend more than five minutes with me,” she grumbled. “Don’t worry, he’ll be here in a minute. He took Elodie over to Mila and Koran’s for the night.”