There was a knock at the door. “You alive in there?” Kalvin asked.
He perked up. He reached down and tucked his cock into the waistband of his underpants and he took a deep breath. “Yeah!” he called out. And then he emerged from the bathroom and joined his friends at the table. He received a few pats on the back. Everyone wanted to know the details. “What did you guys do?” Kalvin asked with glowing eyes.
“Just a lap dance,” Mel said.
Kalvin laughed and shook his head. “Yeah right, just a lap dance. Your cheeks are burning red. You guys did more than just a lap dance.”
Mel shrugged his shoulders. “I guess it was just a really good lap dance,” he said. His heart was still pounding. He was just happy that no one figured out that the blonde beauty was really a man with fake tits and some nice lingerie.
CHAPTER IV
Mel drank a lot that night, after the blonde stripper left. After the guys finished giving him pats on the back, he became invisible, slouching into his seat and keeping his mouth shut unless the waitress was coming by to take drink orders. Kalvin watched him get up to use the bathroom and he nearly fell on his face after just a few steps. “You okay, buddy?” Kalvin asked.
Mel gave him a forced smile and a thumbs up. Kalvin couldn’t help but think that Mel was feeling guilty or embarrassed—but why? So he got a little bit extra from a beautiful stripper, big deal… Mel was a single guy and that stripper was an easy 10/10. Kalvin couldn’t think of one single man who would have turned down a private romp in the private bathroom.
Or maybe Mel was just embarrassed because he was in and out of that bathroom in less than ten minutes. He obviously didn’t last very long, but who could blame him. That was no reason to become a drunken recluse.
When Mel didn’t emerge from the bathroom after ten minutes, Kalvin became worried. The guys were all having fun and he didn’t want to worry anyone, so he quietly got up and moved over to the washroom. The door was unlocked. Kalvin waited until the door was closed behind him before calling for Mel. “You okay, buddy?”
A groan came from the single bathroom stall. Kalvin ducked down and could see Mel’s shrivelled body next to the toilet. There was barf on the edge of the seat. “Too much to drink?” Kalvin asked. And Mel groaned again. So Kalvin went and got a big glass of water and he brought it to Mel. “Drink this and then we’ll get you home.” Mel did his best to drink the water and then Kalvin helped him into a cab.
“Where’s he going?” the driver asked.
“What’s your address, Mel?” Kalvin asked.
But Mel was blacked out now and unable to respond. Kalvin tried giving him a shake, but it was no use. So Kalvin sighed. “Fine, we’ll go to my place. 480 Kingfisher Avenue.” Kalvin hopped into the cab with Mel. He shot Theo a text message. “Taking Mel back to my place. He’s wasted.”
“No worries. See you at the wedding,” Theo replied.
Kalvin made Theo a comfortable bed on the couch and then he made sure there was a grocery bag lined bucked within arm’s reach. Mel still hadn’t opened his eyes since the bar, so Kalvin just let him sleep. Before going to bed himself, Kalvin went to tidy up the mess Mel’s limp body made when Kalvin dragged him in—knocking over the shoe rack, displacing the front rug, and knocking over a few candles in the foyer. While Kalvin was cleaning, he noticed a card on the ground. He picked it up.
Erin Jackson, Primal Fantasies.
Kalvin knew it was the blonde stripper’s card. But he’d never heard of Primal Fantasies before, and he’d hired many strippers over the past few years (Kalvin was a popular guy; one year he was the best man in eight different weddings). He decided to hold onto the card for future bookings. No offense to his go-to girl, but the blonde beauty that Mel hired was way hotter. Instead of stealing the card, he scanned it and saved it to his computer. Then he slipped it back into Mel’s wallet.
* * *
Theo’s wedding went off without a hitch. His wife looked beautiful and the ceremony was quick and elegant. The reception was a lot of fun, though Mel was still acting unusually. Once everyone started dancing, he migrated to the back of the room and found himself in a chair with a glass of water in his hand. He wasn’t drinking. He was probably still feeling ill from Theo’s bachelor party. Apparently he had sixteen drinks on his bill that night—which was apparently how many drinks John Bonham had the day he died. But Mel was still alive, and still looking conflicted about his bathroom romp with Erin, the beautiful blonde stripper.
Kalvin decided to confront him in an attempt to cheer him up. “What happened that night? I promise I won’t tell anyone,” Kalvin said.
Mel had a glazed look in his eyes. “Nothing happened,” he said after a moment of hesitation.
“Something happened. You’ve been acting like a weirdo since that stripper took you into the bathroom.”
Mel stared down at the ground and his gaze turned inward. “We just fooled around and then she left.”
Kalvin nodded slowly as a realization occurred to him. “You wish she wasn’t a stripper, so that maybe the two of you could be a thing.”
Mel snapped his gaze onto Kalvin. “No,” he said swiftly.
Kalvin was taken aback by Mel’s sudden reaction. “Okay. Well, she was sexy, so I wouldn’t blame you if that were the case. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Really?” Mel said, suddenly looking strangely hopeful.
“Really what?” Kalvin asked.
“You think she was sexy?”
Kalvin was silent for a moment. “I mean—yeah. Everyone thought she was sexy. You found a great stripper, buddy. She was in a league of her own.”
Mel looked strangely relieved. Was that what this was all about? He was worried that he’d fooled around with some slag? Kalvin gave him a pat on the back. “You did good. Now go and dance. There are lots of pretty girls here who would love it if you danced with them.”
Mel stood up slowly, an awkward grin on his face. He scanned the room as if for the first time that night. And then he gave Kalvin a firm pat on the arm. “Thanks, Kalvin,” he said, and then he joined in the festivities, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Kalvin didn’t understand what had just happened, but he wasn’t too worried about it—he was just happy that his friend was seemingly back to normal.
CHAPTER V
Erin felt a tremendous wave of relief as she handed her landlord that month’s lease payment. For weeks, she’d thought that would be her last month in business. She was behind on all of her bills and her store only brought in about fifty bucks per day—only about ten bucks of that was actual profit, and she still had her own bills at home to pay.
It seemed like a miracle when that guy came up to her in the street and asked if she wanted to be a stripper for a night. It wasn’t something she ever saw herself doing, but she was desperate. The six hundred she was offering just happened to be the exact amount her landlord was asking for—and the tips she ended up getting were more than enough to pay for her energy bill, as well as a few other expenses. And all she had to do was a lap dance—the romp with the guy who hired her was unexpected even for her.
She hadn’t planned on putting out. She’d never been that kind of girl. But as soon as everyone started cheering and hollering at her, she became like a different person: energized and confident. Stripping was fun, and whoring herself out was also kind of fun in a taboo way.
But Erin wasn’t a prostitute—she wasn’t even a stripper. She’d never performed a lap dance before, and she’d certainly never slept with a stranger. Erin was just a local business owner. She ran a little adult toy store near the edge of town.
Erin considered herself to be a spiritual girl—and how could you not be spiritual when you watch a series of events unfold before your own eyes, like the series of events that unfolded the day of that bachelor party? She left the house that morning wearing a nice black, ankle-length dress and her usual brunette wig. She’d spent an hour that morning getting her ma
keup done perfectly, as someone from the city was coming to her shop to take photos for an article.
She was just a five-minute walk from her shop when a car sped by, hugging the curb. The car hit a particularly muddy puddle, and Erin was left dripping with brown sludge. Her dress was ruined, and so was her wig and makeup—even her shoes were a mess that couldn’t be cleaned with soapy water and a rag. She didn’t have enough time to go home to change before the photographer showed up, so she worked with what she had in her shop. She sold lingerie and sexy outfits. Many of her clients were indeed prostitutes, so looking a bit like a prostitute was going to be unavoidable. She put on a black skirt, which didn’t quite cover her whole ass, and then she put on a black strappy top one-piece, which was technically crotchless lingerie, but with the skirt, it looked more like a sexy club-girl costume. It wasn’t ideal, but at least it wasn’t dripping with brown sludge.
The only shoes she sold in her shop were tall stilettos for strippers—so that’s what ended up on her feet. And the only makeup she sold in her shop was shiny and sparkly: stage makeup. But it was better than nothing. Because without makeup, her boyish looks were too obvious, and she couldn’t stand looking at pictures of herself when her boyish looks were showing. God forbid a picture of her without makeup ended up in the newspaper.
She looked a bit too sexy for a newspaper photo-shoot, but at least she didn’t look like a creature that just crawled out from a mud pit.
On her way home, that guy pulled up next to her, probably thinking she was a hooker. He was in desperate need of a stripper, and then he said that number: six hundred dollars—the exact amount her landlord was asking for. And in that moment, she felt a buzzing inside of her: it was a sign. So she agreed to the job, and she went straight home and started planning. To calm her nerves she had a few drinks. And maybe it was those drinks that pushed her into taking that guy into the bathroom.
When she woke up the next morning, she felt strangely good about herself and her situation. She knew she probably should have felt ashamed for whoring herself out for a few hundred dollars, but there was no shame. The universe led her to that bachelor party and she couldn’t possibly be ashamed of following the path set out by the universe. Though she could have been somewhat ashamed of sleeping with that guy—the universe didn’t tell her to do that.
Now, as she sat behind the desk of her little adult shop, Primal Fantasies, she wondered how she was going to make rent for the next month. It was already a week into the new month and she’d only had a few customers since the turn of the calendar. Bored, waiting for someone to come in and buy a vibrator or even just a DVD, she started crunching the numbers. She figured she could move out from her apartment and live in the back room of her shop—but even then, she was going to need more customers—at least a few customers per day.
One of her regulars came in that afternoon—a girl who called herself a dancer, who was always buying herself new slutty outfits. Erin was pretty sure she wasn’t a ‘dancer’ or even a stripper for that matter. She was almost definitely a prostitute—just based on how much lubricant she purchased on a regular basis. Erin was pretty sure strippers didn’t need lubricant for anything.
The regular meandered the store and ended up buying a pair of crotchless panties and a strap-on dildo. “This is just a gag gift,” she said with red cheeks as Erin rang her through.
“We have cheaper ones if it’s just a gag gift,” Erin said, pointing to the back wall where the strap-ons were kept.
“No, this is okay,” the likely prostitute said, and she took her bag and left. On her way out, Erin couldn’t help but notice her Louis Vuitton bag, the shimmering gold bracelet on her wrist, or the Chanel earrings dangling from her ears. She obviously made good money ‘dancing’. And maybe it wasn’t so bad—maybe it wasn’t the horrible, creepy experience that movies and TV shows made it out to be. Or maybe it was even creepier. She was buying a strap-on, after all. And having strap-on sex with a stranger has to be creepy—right?
No more customers came in that day. Once again, it cost Erin more to stay in business than she earned. While she was packing up, her phone rang.
“Is this Erin Jackson?” the man asked.
“Yes. Who’s this?” Erin asked.
“My name is Kalvin. You were the, uh, entertainment at my friend’s bachelor party a week ago.”
But Erin didn’t recognize his voice. He wasn’t the man who hired her. He must have been one of the men at the table. “Okay, how can I help you?” she asked.
“I’ve got another bachelor party this weekend and I was wondering if you’d be interested in… entertaining again.”
Erin’s heart fluttered. She hesitated before clearing her throat. “Sure, that sounds good.”
CHAPTER VI
Kalvin called his go-to stripper after getting off the phone with Erin. “I’m going to have to cancel on you this weekend,” he said. She sounded upset, but she didn’t put up a fight. Kalvin felt bad, but he couldn’t fight the big grin away from his face. He was excited to see Erin again. Erin was in a whole different league than the strippers he was used to seeing at bachelor parties.
But this was a much bigger bachelor party. At Theo’s party, there were eight guys in a private room. For this party, the groom had thirty-three guys invited, and they’d rented out an entire floor of a bar. Erin should be happy because there would be many, many more tips.
Erin was more expensive than his usual girl, but the extra cost was worth it. Kalvin couldn’t wait to see the look on the groom’s face when he saw the beautiful blonde step into that room.
Kalvin arranged for Erin to show up twenty minutes early. He snuck away from the party and met with her downstairs. She was just as beautiful as she was two weeks before. Now, she had her eyeliner drawn on dark and she wore plenty of eye shadow. Her face glowed with golden glitter, and so did her cleavage. She smelled amazing, leaving Kalvin short for words. “So it’s just like a small party?” Erin asked. She was strangely shy for a stripper. She kept tugging down her short skirt. When she wasn’t tugging down her skirt, she held her hands at her waist, clasped together like a young girl on her first day of school.
“Um, it’s a bit bigger than the last one,” Kalvin said. He was still disoriented from her amazing perfume.
“Oh. Okay,” Erin said. Her cheeks turned a bit redder.
“Don’t worry. They’ll love you. The groom is the guy with the green dress shirt. His name is Landon.”
“Okay,” Erin said coyly. She had a cute smile.
“I’ll go up first and then you come up a minute later,” Kalvin said. They stood by the back entrance of the bar, waiting for the right minute to go up. Kalvin kept an eye on his watch, as if it mattered what time the stripper showed up—but it did matter to Kalvin. Everything had to be on schedule. He had the whole thing timed out perfectly and there was no sense in letting his perfect timing fall apart now.
People who came out to smoke were looking at Kalvin with strange looks, as if they were watching him hire a prostitute. Kalvin awkwardly smiled at the smokers in the alleyway. Erin kept her gaze down. She only looked up when Kalvin was talking. And as soon as her gaze met with his, Kalvin forgot what he was saying. His words would become jumbled and his eyes would glaze over. She was beautiful—too beautiful to be a stripper.
Though Kalvin wasn’t entirely convinced that she was a professional stripper. Strippers were usually confident and carefree. They usually showed up late, already half-naked, usually drunk or on drugs. They usually flirted with Kalvin, hoping to get a good tip, and then they would spend the rest of the night flirting with the guys wearing the most expensive suits. But Erin was different. Erin was shy and quiet. She showed up early and, at least at Theo’s party, she left as soon as the job was done. She even left a few bills behind on the table—either too shy to pick them up or unaware that they even existed.
But professional or not, she was perfect. She knew how to turn on a crowd and she was gorgeous. “Ok
ay, show time,” Kalvin said, as the second-hand on his watch passed the twelve. He opened the door and scurried back to his seat. His heart was pounding. The party had gone perfectly so far—now Erin just had to cap it all off with a bang.
When the door opened, Kalvin’s heart stopped beating momentarily. He tried not to stare at the door, so it wouldn’t be too obvious, but he couldn’t manage to focus on anything else. When he saw her heeled foot step into the room, his heart started pounding at a mile a minute. A few of the other guys turned to look. Then they became silent. Then more guys looked. And a few seconds later, the whole floor of the bar was silent, save for the music playing on the radio.
She stepped into the room. She wasn’t wearing a cheesy disguise—she was dressed to dance, not wasting anytime. She froze for a moment after stepping into the room. She stared at the crowd and her face flushed. Kalvin’s heart managed to beat even faster. He wanted to scream, ‘Start dancing! Do something! Don’t just stand there!’ but she was frozen—a deer in the headlights.
Then she started to sway. She closed her eyes and moved like a belly dancer, raising her hands up, into her hair. Her chest heaved as she took a deep breath. But at least she was moving. At least she was dancing. And at least she was drop-dead gorgeous, even when she was startled and pale.
Kalvin allowed himself to relax as Erin moved through the room. She wasn’t doing much but she had the whole room captivated. She slowly made her way to Landon, whose face was dark red. She looked into his eyes and smiled and his face turned even redder. “Pull your chair out,” she said softly. He followed her command like a hypnotised patient. He pulled his chair out and found himself sitting in the isle between two tables. Everyone gathered around to watch the beautiful stripper work her magic.
She danced around him, slowly removing her top and then her skirt. She was wearing white lace lingerie that looked a bit like bridal lingerie—and maybe it was. Erin lowered her bum onto Landon’s lap and then she reached back and grabbed his hands, moving them onto her sides. Landon’s whole face was an even shade of crimson now.
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