She waited for him to say something. He just lay there, propped up on one arm with the other slung carelessly across her belly, staring at her. For one ludicrous moment she imagined him looking straight into her head and seeing all the weirdness and all the pain. She felt truly naked.
“I need to get up.”
“Why?” he asked, his voice quiet and gentle.
“I have to go to the bathroom.” And then get dressed and sneak upstairs without anyone seeing me. She couldn’t hear a thing outside the room, so she had no idea who was in the house.
“All right.”
He rolled off to let her up.
She took a long time in the spacious bathroom—sitting, peeing, thinking, delaying. Maybe if she stayed in here long enough he’d fall sleep? Get bored and go find something else to do?
But when she came out of the bathroom, he was sitting up in bed, holding her dress. Like he knew she was going to run.
“Come back to bed, Ally.” His gentle tone just made it worse.
“Cade, I need to go.”
“No, you don’t. Look. I never question the women I sleep with— I’m never that interested. I’m interested in you. You don’t want to talk about men, I won’t ask. Come back. I need to hear about Becca, anyway.” He paused. “Please.”
A nice touch, that please. It still didn’t feel like a request, but he’d made the effort. She didn’t want to leave, of course, not really. Nothing sounded better right now than climbing back into bed with him, curling into his warmth and strength. She so rarely shared a bed with someone else.
“Okay. I’ll get back in bed. But I want you to hold me.”
God have mercy, she was possessed. Naked or not, she had to bolt. Now.
He grinned so tenderly her heart broke all over again.
“You’re not being a smartass right now, are you?”
She shook her head, certain he could see her blushing in the dark.
“I never know what the hell you’ll say next.”
“Neither do I,” she whispered.
His grin widened.
“Holding you is all I want to do right now, Ally. Get over here.”
So she climbed into bed and he pulled her hard against him.
“Wolves are made to cuddle. But—wait. Wait.” He rested his chin on her shoulder. “Women always want to talk about feelings when they cuddle. I don’t do feelings. Are you about to do feelings?”
Her face still burned, but she closed her eyes and snuggled back against him. “I can hurt you. I may not look like it, but I can mess you up.”
He settled back down behind her, smiling into her neck. “I think you already did, ma’am. Now tell me about Sarah Jane and Becca.”
She recounted the past two days—the fun she’d had with Becca, her own impressions of Sarah Jane.
“You got her hair cut?”
“Well, she looked like a little troll doll.”
He laughed again, his beard rubbing against her bare skin, his arm tight around her. This was nice. This was unbearably nice.
“Thank you,” he said quietly. “For stepping up, for helping Michael. For helping me.”
“I didn’t mind. I enjoyed it. I took a bunch of Michael’s money at a poker game.”
He chuckled. “I need to hear about that.”
So she told him.
She hadn’t decided how, or whether, to tell him about Sarah Jane and Sindri, or Sarah Jane and Dec. It might sound like stirring up trouble. Or sucking up for a job. After she’d just slept with him.
This was getting complicated.
She was getting sleepy.
“Cade.”
“Hmm.”
“You don’t think Sarah Jane would pack up in the middle of the night and leave with Becca, do you?”
“Won’t happen. Michael’s got wolves watching her right now.”
She shivered when he gently nipped at her shoulder and ran his tongue up the back of her neck. “When did you tell him to do that?”
“Didn’t need to. He’ll know. That’s why he’s my second.”
“I thought you were furious at him for not calling you.”
“I was.” Cade went still for a moment. “I went a little loco there. I shouldn’t have lost it, but Michael handled it the right way.”
“Have you told him that?”
“Don’t need to. He knows. That’s why he’s my second.” His tongue moved to her ear.
“Do Pack Alphas apologize?”
He barked a laugh. “Not to their seconds, no.”
“But what—”
“Shh. Not now—we can talk more tomorrow.”
He pulled the sheet up to her breasts and tucked it beneath her. She felt him relax against her back, his arm under her head, his other hand making lazy circles on her hip.
As she drifted off to sleep, he murmured, “Tomorrow we talk, baby. Tomorrow we talk about you.”
Chapter Fifteen
Ally awoke with a start. Her internal clock, unfailingly accurate since her second birth, told her the sun would rise soon. Cade had flipped over onto his back, one arm on the pillow above his head, the other flung across his stomach. She slipped out of bed.
As she lingered to gaze at him, she knew she’d be replaying last night in her mind for years to come, but she couldn’t face more questions. Emotionally spent, psychologically raw, she needed an escape plan.
She pulled on her panties and sundress, then cautiously opened the door and peeked out into the living room. She neither heard nor smelled anyone. Racing up to her room, she remembered at the last moment not to let the door slam behind her.
Her cell phone was beeping to indicate a voicemail message. Tomas had called last night. She needed a shower, food and coffee before she could tackle that.
Once she’d taken a long, hot shower it was just past sunrise. She’d thought she might be up before anyone else in the house, but Sindri smiled gently when she walked into the kitchen.
“Good morning. You are well?” he asked.
“Good morning. Yes, thank you.”
He poured her a cup of coffee and resumed fussing about the kitchen. She watched him as she sipped her coffee. They’d never talked much, but he seemed to like her.
“How is Cade?” he asked her.
“I’m sorry?”
“Cade came home last night. You were with him. He is well?”
Great. Who else knew?
“Um, Cade’s all right. He was— He was upset, at first, about Sarah Jane, but once he calmed down he was better. He’s still asleep.”
“Good.” Sindri nodded firmly. “It is good that Sarah Jane is here. We need her. And Cade needs you. This is well.”
No, this is weird.
Dec and Sarah Jane appeared. Sindri placed two more coffee cups and a plate of fresh biscuits on the table.
“Good morning, darlin’.” Dec kissed Ally on the head. “Did you sleep well?”
The traitorous burning in her cheeks made her put her head down.
“I know you know,” she muttered into her coffee cup.
Dec sat down. She heard him pour two cups of coffee. Sarah Jane reached over and put a hand on Ally’s arm. “Honey, are you okay?”
Oh God. What did Sarah Jane think of daddy-screwing nannies? How many others would know about this?
“What did you hear?” she asked quietly, head still bent over her cup.
“Nothing,” Dec replied. She could feel six eyes on her. “Ally,” he said, as gently as she’d ever heard him, “whatever happened last night is no one’s business but yours and the Alpha’s. Trust me, darlin’, it’s not like you think it is. There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of.”
She slumped a little. “I guess everyone has to be polite to the Alpha’s female guests.”
No one replied. She peeked up to see Dec looking at Sindri, and Sindri looking confused.
“Cade does not have female guests,” Sindri said.
“What? You mean— Women don’t spen
d the night here?”
“No. Never. You are different. You are special.” He smiled in his usual mysteriously serene manner.
Dec said, “Ally, you need to know—”
“I forgot something in my room.” Her stomach churned. “I’m sorry, I just don’t feel like talking to anyone right now.”
Then, coward that she was, she fled.
Cade drifted in twilight sleep, vaguely aware of a small animal burrowing in the ground beside him amid a rustle of leaves, snorts and giggles.
Not the ground—his bed. Not leaves—sheets. And giggles?
Eyes closed, he patted the sheet beside him. He felt a small, warm, wiggly lump—round on the top, skinny in the middle, then round, then skinny. Shorter than Ally, and Ally never giggled like this. He smiled despite being angry—very angry—at his mysterious mate for running away before he woke up.
He gave the top lump a squeeze.
“Ow! Daddy, that’s my head!” The indignation in Becca’s voice made him laugh.
He rolled over with a big Daddy growl. She responded with an elated shriek. He dragged her over on top of him, making munching noises as he played “eat the Becca” before hauling her across him and planting her on the floor beside the bed. She began to bounce.
“I sure missed you, Baby Girl. Have you had breakfast?”
“No. Nana and me just got up. Sindri’s cooking breakfast.”
“Nana?”
“My Gramma. She likes me a lot.”
“I see. Where is she now?”
“In the kitchen with Sindri and Uncle Dec.”
Uncle Dec? Oh hell, no. “Do you know where Ally is?”
“I think she’s in the kitchen too. Ally’s my nanny now. We went to town and got my hair cut. Everyone told me I was pretty.”
“You are pretty. Go get some breakfast. I’ll be there as soon as I shower and dress.”
But once Becca was gone, instead of getting up to shower, he lay in bed thinking about his strange, absent mate.
Making love to Ally last night wasn’t the smartest thing he’d ever done. Claiming your mate without telling her she was, in fact, your mate might strike some people—for instance, your mate—as arrogant. Cade had once heard an old alpha, a mated wolf, compare the difference between the mate bond prior to claiming and after claiming as the difference between cement and fusion. In other words, when the mate bond claimed you, you were fucked. Once you’d claimed your mate, you were even more fucked.
The mate bond didn’t tie the woman to the wolf as it did the wolf to the woman, and the woman could always choose to walk away.
But Ally wouldn’t do that, he thought as he smiled to himself. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. Last night had been very consensual, even if he hadn’t been totally up front about everything.
And why would she want to leave, anyway? He was a rich Pack Alpha, he could offer her a life she’d never been able to have, and she could stay with Dylan and Seth. Sure, she was bossy as hell, and it would take her a while to get used to not being in charge. But she wanted him.
Smiling to himself, he got up to shower and then go look for his mate.
His first stop was the kitchen.
“Good morning, Alpha.”
Cade ignored the Irishwolf. “Becca, are you done with breakfast?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Go play in your room. And Mr. MacSorley is not your uncle. You’ll call him Mr. MacSorley.”
“Can Nana come with—?”
“Nana’s going to talk with me. Go.”
Becca paused to kiss Sarah Jane, who hugged her tightly. “Promise you’ll remember what we talked about, all right?”
Becca nodded and scampered out. MacSorley rose to follow her.
“MacSorley. Wait. Do you know where Ally is?”
The Irishwolf paused in the doorway. “No, I don’t. She left in a hurry a while ago.”
Cade frowned. “Why?”
MacSorley leaned in the doorway and regarded him levelly. “She was embarrassed. I tried to explain she needn’t be, but Ally’s rather…shy in matters like this. Good Catholic girl, y’know. And I think everything that’s happened recently has frazzled her a bit.” He paused. “I’m not sure how to say this, but—”
“Then don’t. It’ll just piss me off, anyway.”
“Aye,” MacSorley murmured, eyes fixed on the floor. Somehow he managed to be vaguely insolent even while submitting. Cade recalled something from last night, something he’d forgotten as soon as he saw Ally.
“Why’d you get in front of me last night?”
The other wolf shrugged, still looking at the ground. “I’m not sure. Instinct, I guess.”
“Since when the hell does a beta’s instinct put him in front of an alpha on the rampage?”
“I think I was trying to protect Ally. Or maybe Sarah Jane. I’m not sure, to tell you the truth.” He sounded sincere this time.
“You are the strangest wolf I’ve ever seen in my life, and I don’t like you.”
Sarah Jane gasped.
“Yeah. Yeah, I can believe that. It’s understandable.”
Cade heard sadness in MacSorley’s words. He hadn’t expected to wound the Irishwolf. It irritated him. “Well. If you see Ally, tell her I want to talk to her.”
MacSorley left.
“Cade, maybe I should talk to Allison, I could—”
He spun around to face Sarah Jane. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Her hands trembled as they gripped the back of a chair. The scent of her fear filled the kitchen, but she didn’t flee. She stared hard at a spot somewhere above his head as she stuck out her jaw and said tightly, “I was in the area and I wanted to see my grandbaby. I didn’t call until I got here because I thought you’d say no.”
“I can’t imagine why I’d do that, Sarah Jane. Can you?”
She closed her eyes. “I’ve said things in the past, Cade. Thoughtless things. I made stupid, reckless threats because I was angry and scared and unhappy about Mary Ann.” She opened her eyes and tried to look him in the face. “I don’t want to take Rebecca away from you. That’s not why I’m here. I swear.”
She seemed sincere, but he couldn’t sense whether she told the truth or not. What had become of his mystical powers of discernment in the last week? Had his new mate shorted out his mojo? He stared at Sarah Jane for a minute, then shook his head to clear it. He was a civilized wolf. He didn’t threaten old women.
“Sit,” he ordered.
She sat while he got himself coffee, pouring more into her cup as well. They drank in silence across the table from each other.
The silence got uncomfortable.
“How’s Mary Ann?”
“No idea. I haven’t heard from her in two years. I assume she’s still in California.”
“I see.”
“It’s my fault.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Why? Did y’all have a fight?” Sarah Jane normally gave Mary Ann anything she asked for.
“No, I mean the whole thing. All of it.” She made a vague sweeping gesture with her hand. “Mary Ann is my fault. I spoiled her. I excused her for everything she ever did because her daddy died and I never wanted her to suffer anything again. That’s no way to raise a human being.”
“You’re right,” he agreed, “it’s not. But at some point she became responsible for herself. You can’t take the blame for everything.”
“It’s one thing to say that. It’s harder to believe it.” She sighed and took a long sip of coffee before continuing. “Well. I decided I want my granddaughter to know who I am, and I calculated that if I just showed up and begged you to let me see her, your innate nobility of spirit would assert itself and you’d take pity on me.”
He nearly choked on his coffee trying not to laugh. “Fuck.” He knew she hated the word. “Sarah Jane, I could’ve killed you last night.”
“I didn’t think you would. You’re too much like your father.”
“Don’t
try to flatter me.”
“I’m not. Declan worried how’d you’d react, but I thought if you came home enraged, it would be best if Rebecca weren’t here.”
He’d never admit she’d made the right decision. “Declan, is it? You two look pretty comfortable with each other.”
“He’s charming. I can’t imagine what would make you dislike him so.”
“I’m not getting into it right now.”
“All right. Let’s talk about Rebecca and Allison.”
“You first.”
“Well, Rebecca is perfect. But she needs to be around children and women.”
“I know that. And Allison?”
“And Allison is no more the nanny than I am.” Before he could respond, she held up both hands and said gently, “I’m not criticizing. I know Michael was worried about what I would think, so he got rid of the wolves and Allison volunteered to play Mary Poppins.”
“We’ve had some nanny trouble lately.”
“I’ve heard. Cade, if I thought you weren’t taking care of Rebecca, or she was the least bit unsafe, a pack of werewolves couldn’t stop me taking her. But I’m not going to interfere when I see how happy and loved she is. And she certainly seems to like Allison.” Leaning across the table, she smiled at him the way an older woman smiled at a male who’d been leashed and brought to heel. “When are you going to tell her you claimed her?”
He stared at her. “Who told you she’s my mate?” Maybe he needed to rip some fur off Michael after all.
“No one had to tell me, Cade. I can see it, just like I saw it when your father brought Eirny home from Scotland. You’re bonded, pup.”
“If you can tell that from seeing me for ten minutes, maybe Mary Ann was right about the Fae blood. Don’t tell the ladies in the Junior League. And don’t call me pup.”
She laughed and leaned back. “I’ve been around a lot longer than you. You have no idea what I pick up on.” Suddenly, she looked pensive. “Cade, is everything all right?”
He frowned. “In what sense?”
“I’m not even sure. I’m not talking about Allison, or the trouble you’re having with the other packs.”
“And what do you know about that?”
Yours, Mine and Howls: Werewolves in Love, Book 2 Page 15