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Marriages are Made in Bond Street

Page 26

by Penrose Halson


  * Person who has lost her husband would be suitable.

  * I am hoping to have a commission in future, would like someone who can conduct herself with reasonable assurance with other officers’ wives.

  * Someone who, like myself, comes from the East End of London, who is ‘down to earth’ and has no ‘airs or graces’.

  * Woman capable of bossing and showing authority.

  * Similar family background (my grandparents doctor and parson), not too athletic or mannish.

  * She must have a little girl (about six). No spinsters.

  * I have suffered serious losses and would like someone with private means.

  * Willing to go in for poultry farming on smallholding.

  * Not Christian Scientist.

  * Divorcee if innocent party.

  * Child no bar but cannot be educated in Curaçao.

  * Someone with furniture would be an advantage.

  * She must live on gravel. (He has arthritis, wears surgical collar.)

  * May wear glasses or be lame rather than the butterfly type.

  * A kind hearter, not too modern.

  * Not too old, not too fat.

  * Agreeable to my continuing to fly after the war.

  * Well educated and suitable to be hostess at political gatherings etc. (He is an MP.)

  * Her belief in the Christian God must be the predominant feature in her life. Willing to help me along the road to recovery.

  * Must be willing to finance building or buying of modest home in or near Glasgow.

  * Not frightened of becoming a mother.

  * Proud of her figure and legs and likes wearing high-heeled shoes.

  * Not thick ankles or short podgy fingers.

  * Blonde (not esential [sic]), no prejudice against debutantes.

  * A working-class girl of refinement.

  * Servant or nanny type.

  * Matter-of-fact, not slushy or sentimental. Names disliked: Gertrude, Emily, Lucy, Eleanor. Names liked: Mary, Elizabeth, Anne, Jean, Jane, Sheila.

  * Not a Jewess, not German, Australian, South African, Japanese or Italian but otherwise any nationality.

  * Intelligent but uninformed in national affairs, must have beautiful hands.

  * Congenial companion, would be an asset to promotion. Income not essential but would help to increase wife’s comfort.

  * Fairly sentimental and if possible a brunette.

  * Natural, willing to pose occasionally. Can be invited to a Public Dance. (Artist.)

  * No objection to painted finger nails, scent or a dowry.

  * Not an only child unless an orphan.

  * Ordinary working-class lady, fairly tall, slim with fair or light brown hair. Nothing else matters.

  * Ready to make a home for my father as well.

  * Dark, not bossy or Irish.

  * Able to drive Talbot car.

  * She must have something out of the ordinary – money or a title.

  * Prefer her to be of the ‘Business Girl’ type, one who is unassuming, moderate in habits, and to whom the hectic life favoured by so many does not appeal.

  * If possible, not liable for war service.

  * Must be good cook, able to make jam, dress poultry and rabbits. Must reside Yorkshire.

  * I should prefer a War Widow.

  * Right disposition and character, affectionate nature, not only to men but to the world at large, cripples, animals, etc.

  * Younger the better. Modern to a limit.

  * Able to run six- or seven-roomed house, good plain cook.

  * A home-loving girl who does not want to go out every evening but would enjoy a theatre trip and picture show weekly.

  * Must not frequent public houses.

  * No freckles.

  * Neat breasts. Up to £400 p.a. Of gentlefolk.

  * Peace and happiness main things.

  * No permed hair.

  * Able to take things on the chin in rough times.

  * Able to stand my hours of railway duties.

  * Ability to type and take shorthand an advantage and willingness to learn a language – Esperanto.

  * Able to entertain and impress people.

  * Suitable to be a Headmaster’s wife.

  * No objection to glasses as I wear them myself.

  * With sufficient character to stand up to the vicissitudes of the RAF & acceptable in an officers’ mess.

  * Medium slim with good bust. Honesty and beauty combined.

  * Refined and well educated, of what is called the ‘upper middle class’. (1950.)

  * No sulking. Living near Wembley or Pinner.

  * Girl without parents or who has been in trouble not objected to, provided she is sincere about this.

  * Marilyn Monroe with homely ways.

  * Gentle birth, flair for dress, no illusions about life in wide open spaces.

  * Not Irish, Scotch or a civil servant.

  * Not snobbish as I do not believe in class distinction too much. With job of some sort. Of middle-class family.

  * British or French. Some intellectual interests and no aversion to a prospect of a life of perpetual poverty. (Lecturer, £500 p.a., 1948.)

  * I don’t mind a little make-up but not a painted doll.

  * Someone I can fall in love with. I am very lonely.

  * Able to keep and look after a working man.

  * Someone with a loving and understanding nature, fond of children, who trusts and believes in human nature and the fundamental goodness of life. In other words someone with a Hedonist outlook tempered with a Christian philosophy and who is well disposed towards her fellow creatures.

  * Her parents must be happily married.

  * Dolicocephalic [having a relatively long skull, typically with the breadth less than 75 or 80 per cent of the length] small nose tip-tilted or straight, small teeth. Qualities in order of importance: figure and nose; femininity and brain. Vivien Leigh, Jessica Tandy for figure and nose, Rebecca West for femininity and brain.

  * I like a person with a pleasing personality, kind (I am very kind myself), not jealous.

  * A wealthy lady preferred.

  * Someone I can trust.

  * Preferably officer in ATS, WRNS or WAAFS.

  * Warmly affectionate and desiring full reciprocation and understanding to the extent of idolisation.

  * I am desirous of settling down with a hope of a child or children. Waste to introduce me to elderly ladies. (Schoolmaster, aged 52, wants woman, 20–30.)

  * Pref. Italian. I spent the greater part of the war in Italy and have become very fond of the country and its people.

  * Evident good birth and family (fewer the better). Disciplined upbringing.

  * If she is respectable and healthy I am not particular.

  * An equal who can share thoughts, problems, pleasures and difficulties.

  * Must be able to live in a hot climate. (Zanzibar.)

  * Not frigid.

  * Nobody called Florence.

  * Not a member of the Society of Friends or Peace Pledge Union.

  * God-loving, placid, possessive but not unreasonably jealous; fond of curry and other rich or savoury food, able and willing to bear and rear at least two children.

  * She must be prepared for possible moves from one part of the Empire to another during marriage.

  * Preference for blue eyes as the word ‘British’ could mean peoople [sic] who could be termed coloured, definatly [sic] not coloured or of such linage [sic].

  * A fair type with some philosophical bias.

  * My wife will have to spend a large part of her life in Africa and must be perpared [sic] to mix with Africans of all classes.

  * Providing she has a good heart and is sincere I don’t care if she comes from the slums of London, New York or Bombay.

  * Must be able to produce a doctor’s cetificate [sic] of good health and preferably have been to a finishing school.

  * Capable of driving or learning to drive a car, no Communist connectio
n (I work on official secrets), well read (not a black and white personality), not too witty, able to increase one’s morale.

  * I do not like Lady Teachers or Nurses either in active service or retired.

  * She will be required to live in East Africa, but in one of the best climates in the world. Not too brainy, but intelligent, who does not mind a fairly lonely life with all modern conveniences but who can enjoy dancing etc. when available.

  * Independent means or dowry.

  * Not a ‘yes’ woman.

  * Somebody who would like my baby so I can give him a good home he is 5 months old. (Father, 31.)

  * Essentially out of top drawer, sound in wind & limb, fairly easy on the eye, willing to produce a family of non-Catholics.

  * Interested in outside things but not necessarily a gadabout.

  * I most admire wit and a generous outlook towards others.

  * If the person is a widow, no male children, and if there is a girl she must be at least 8 years old.

  * Not a member of the Forces.

  * Widow of pharmacist particularly suitable.

  * Lady interested in a business e.g. poultry farming.

  * Best summed up in Lancashire expresion [sic] as ‘Januk’.

  * Must be non-smoker, non-drinker and non-dancer, also must not use cosmetics. (He 32, an ‘amusement worker’ in a seaside resort.)

  * Above all, a real pal with a beautiful soul.

  * I would like to meet someone with a few hundred pounds likely to become interested in farming.

  * A girl who is serving with HM Forces or engaged in War Work (eg Land Army, Munitions).

  * I do like to feel that other people (men) look enviously.

  * Unselfish yet not saintly.

  * Unoccupied daughter of well-to-do parents.

  * A clean appearance.

  * Able to save money.

  * An asset if she can drive.

  * Should be able to cook and mend.

  * Voice is most important physical factor – standard Southern English with trace of Scots or Irish preferable.

  * Attitude towards physical relationship in marriage natural as well as idealistic.

  * Able to fit into naval society which is somewhat ‘public school’.

  * Orphan preferred.

  * Attractive and chaste.

  * Prefer emigrant or D.P. [Displaced Person] or orphan. Need have very little education but be kind and gentle.

  * Small feet and ankles.

  * Lady who is sophisticated and matured. Perhaps someone who has been married before and able to understand the difficulties of married life when one was younger and whose past experience would be beneficial at the present.

  * The lady should have some interest in other people’s welfare but may be quite unorthodox in religion or politics.

  * Either a sophisticated bohemian sort preferably with some secretarial experience in literary work, or else a country girl, good at baking.

  * Someone who can be an equal and share thoughts, problems, pleasures and difficulties, if any. No nurses. (He cancelled registration, decided not to marry after all.)

  * Sufficiently educated to make a fair success of a Times crossword puzzle.

  * I am not particular if she is respectable and healthy.

  * Young lady possessing considerable capital or property, willing to assist re-establish pre-war business (Furniture Manufacture).

  Interviewers’ comments 1939–c.1949

  MEN

  * Very Irish and definitely Working Class.

  * Talk a donkey’s hind legs off.

  * Nice smile, like Laurence Olivier.

  * Fine big man, well turned out, might have touch of tar brush.

  * Gentish, rather big red nose, beard but sweet.

  * Rather an old woman. Thick glasses.

  * Absolute poppet, lovely country voice.

  * Not bad-looking but no Adonis.

  * Not a gent. Common, noisy.

  * Scar on face.

  * Nice little man, v. sensitive about being bald.

  * Should think he is queer. Gent. Lovely hands.

  * A gent but very superior.

  * Not aggressively Jewish-looking.

  * Like John Mills.

  * Terrible head of hair.

  * POW, lost a leg.

  * Dear old boy, looks so clean.

  * Gent, mad, amiable rotter, beard.

  * Looks older than he says, awful voice, very rich.

  * Nice manners but deaf and a few teeth missing. BTS. (Better Than Some.)

  * Stupid and slow.

  * Always mention crippled leg on intro.

  * Common little man. Has paralysed hand.

  * Full of his own importance.

  * Slightly lame owing to war wound. Sounds better on phone than on paper.

  * In a hurry. Returning Nigeria 10 July.

  * Nr Gent. Lost an eye.

  * Belgian. Awful.

  * Gentish, quite mad, out for money.

  * Working class. Very quiet. Seems a bit dotty.

  * Lost an eye and arm.

  * Dull. Likes young girls.

  * Gent. Charming but impotent. (Age 33.)

  * Very nice honest-to-goodness superior working class.

  * Not a gent, v. nice, has artificial leg.

  * Not a gent (thinks he is), quite nice. Be careful.

  * Dear little man. Working class, v. blue eyes. Saved up to come here.

  * Very difficult and fussy, well dressed, Hitler moustache.

  * Terrible. Mad stare. Looks like hell.

  * Scarecrow, spectre, long thin face and body, glasses. But pleasant.

  * Very hirsute.

  * Sheer hell. Quite batty. Goggling eyes. Smells.

  * Very nice man, diabetic.

  * Typically business man. No fool.

  * Sticking-out ears. So dull. Verbose.

  * Shy, untidy hair, boffin type, nice boy, ambitious.

  * White eyelashes.

  * Has lost both hands but can do everything for himself.

  * Nice hearing aid but v. deaf.

  * Bestially stupid, didactic, drums fingers on desk, quite good-looking, v. lower middle class.

  * Nice, Gent (not Debrett), inoffensive-looking, well dressed.

  * Cheque bounced.

  * Scruffy, smells, full of self-pity. Might be made into something.

  * Died. (Aged 32, been registered two months.)

  * Nice-looking. Speaks English well. (Polish man.)

  WOMEN

  * Rather superior but thaws out in time.

  * Usual old body. (Woman, age 41.)

  * Mother is pure suburban.

  * Dainty, well dressed, dyed hair, not like a teacher.

  * Could be nice looking, hair wants perming.

  * Ladylike, soignée, infuriating.

  * Rather lumpy, not bad looking, Manchester accent.

  * Better than usual but oh, so fat, bad legs, dark fuzzy hair. Pleasant, plain.

  * Lady, v. nice, cast in left eye otherwise not bad looking.

  * Long face, better without hat.

  * Dreary, usual, very ‘prism’.

  * Lady, not top drawer, arthritis.

  * Good looking, gushing, genteel.

  * Paralysed – goitre, bad breath, terrible.

  * Can’t read. Print address.

  * Frightful false teeth.

  * Very dirty (tatty).

  * Illiterate.

  * Good eyes, a lot of teeth & moustache. (Woman.)

  * Duck’s bottom, divided teeth, not bad looking, unpleasing.

  * Dotty!!

  * Common, barmaid type.

  * Long horse’s face. Loves herself.

  * Typical spinster.

  * Shy mouse, pretty in elfin way, lives SW3, likes men from the North.

  * Came with one daughter, v. well behaved. Pink cheeks, awfully nice, short hair, rather tearful.

  * Plumpish, red outfit, glasses (false eye hardly shows), MBTM + (Muc
h Better Than Most +, i.e. almost VMBTM – Very Much Better Than Most.)

  * Pretty little girl, v. neatly dressed, v. nice speaking voice, is Dutch – obviously Sinhalese, denies being coloured.

  * Leopardskin hat and scarf. Rather toothy. Sweet and friendly.

  * Awful cheap scent.

  * Lady, v. nice, plain, might be a lezzie.

  * Tiresome bitch.

  * Full of her own importance and breeding.

  * Lovely eyes. Liked a Jamaican.

  * Rather like a ferret, though friends of the Coxes.

  * Plain, shows all her gums.

  * Usual. Says she’s sex-starved.

  * Spotty & awful.

  * Pleasant, faded.

  * Not bad. Legs badly burned in Blitz.

  * Typical country parson’s daughter.

  * Intelligent – too bloody bright.

  * CAREFUL MISS J’S FRIEND.

  * Silly neurotic little thing, no chin.

  * Ordinary, faded, only child of old parents. (Girl, 26.)

  * Better education than most but seems an ass.

  * Scotch and rather nice-looking but bad false teeth. (Girl, 30.)

  * No lady – but a snob! Smells like a polecat. Says she has £5,000 p.a.

  * Very refeened [sic]. Rabbit teeth.

  * Large, fat, cheerful, quite hideous.

  * Nice child. Quiet. Had nervous breakdown.

  * Dumpy. Plain. Nice. Dull. Neat. Plum-bottling type.

  * BTM (Better Than Most). Could meet better. Nice little thing, pretty (chocolate-box type).

  * Shows her underteeth. Ugly, pleasant.

  * Touch of the tar brush.

  * BATS!

  * Says she’s v. highly educated, seems stupid.

  * Unattractive but superior.

  * V. direct, rather lesbian. Has had insides out.

  * Was staying at Claridge’s with her boy-friend – likes racy!

  * Lovely hair, real little cockney.

  * Droop eye. Fat. Lady.

  * Protruding teeth. Rather intense.

  * Enormous ears. Common. Pleasant enough.

  * Looks like the back of a cab.

  * Dull. Goody-goody. Ordinary.

  * Has her own grand piano, will inherit £40,000 when her parents die. (She is 34.)

  * Filthy hands and badly made-up mouth.

  * Paid only £1. 1s. HELL!

  * Rather like Nellie Wallace. Very Baptist.

  * Like a caricature of Bea Lillie.

  * Scotch. Intelligent, quite attractive, not top drawer, introduced by May Carr (bitch).

  * Lady. V. nice, rather nut-crackery, fine eyes.

 

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